Doug Zinn

Fortnite, Spider-Man Top 2018's Most Popular Halloween Costumes

Characters from the video game Fortnite and comic book heroes topped the most popular Halloween costumes among adults and children in 2018, according to Google data. What do you think?

Halloween is a chance for us all to fulfill our most mainstream fantasies.


Gianna Frankel

Good. As long as everyone's faces are covered, I can carry out my plans.


Hank Irwin

That makes sense. People only have 18 other opportunities a year to dress like superheroes.


Nicolle Stewart

Boston Gangster Whitey Bulger Killed In West Virginia Prison

James Whitey Bulger, the notorious former Boston mob boss, was killed Tuesday morning at a West Virginia prison after serving 7 years of his life sentence. What do you think?


Maxwell Woodard

You hate to see a mobster die violently.


Fred Hale

[Unintelligible ranting in a Boston accent].


Micah Murphy

Angela Merkel To Step Down In 2021

Germany's Angela Merkel has said she will step down as chancellor and pass off leadership of her center-right party in 2021. What do you think?

I appreciate the heads-up, but there's no way I could climb to the top of the German political ladder in this timeframe.


Caitlin Copeland

Angela Merkel To Step Down In 2021

Is she sure? It's hard to find chancelling jobs these days.


Jez Hardin

Angela Merkel To Step Down In 2021

Damn it, she was the only foreign leader I knew of.


Andrea Paine

Ben And Jerry's Releases Donald Trump Resistance-Inspired Flavor

Ben & Jerry's is launching a new flavor, Pecan Resist—containing chocolate ice cream with white and dark fudge chunks, pecans, walnuts, and fudge-covered almonds—as part of a $100,000 philanthropic campaign to benefit activist organizations and lick injustice worldwide. What do you think?

I wish this particular social movement came with cookie dough.


Garry Levy

Was it Gandhi or Dr. King who called gimmicky ice cream flavors the most direct form of protest?


Leon Obrien

Sorry, my doctor says I need to cut back on my activism.


Thalia Tomlinson

Democrats Express Certainty They Will Retake The House

In a late night interview, House speaker Nancy Pelosi echoed several notable Democrats in stressing near-certainty that her party would retake the House of Representatives in the midterm elections. What do you think?

Counting their eggs before they hatch is a time-honored Democrat tradition.


Viktor Robin

They certainly can't be disastrously wrong about an election twice in a row.


Tanner Field

Oh, yeah? If we got the numbers, I'll probably just sit this one out.


Cara Vega

Humanity Has Wiped Out 60% Of World's Animals Since 1970

Humanity has wiped out 60 percent of the world's mammals, birds, fish, and reptiles since 1970, leading experts at the World Wildlife Fund to warn of an extinction crisis now threatening civilization. What do you think?


Neil Ware

That's what they get for always trying to bite us.


Aiden Chavez

I'm sure some of those animals would have died anyway.


Kane Shaffer

Gladiator' Sequel In The Works

Ridley Scott confirmed that he is currently working on a sequel to the critically acclaimed film Gladiator, which will focus on the life of the character Lucius as an adult. What do you think?

Thank goodness, I was worried he'd let that potential franchise go un-exploited.


Dolly Stuart

Gladiator' Sequel In The Works

I hope we finally find out whether those people were entertained or not.


Buddy Vickers

Gladiator' Sequel In The Works

That's great, I always wanted to know what happened to that kid whose name I didn't remember.


Brittany Monaghan

Americans Head To The Polls

Citizens nationwide are heading to the polls today to cast their votes in the 2018 midterms, deciding which party will control the U.S. House and Senate, alongside other local offices and issues. What do you think?

After all this, still no violent uprising? America sucks.


Philip Tierney

Americans Head To The Polls

I guess at this point, people will try anything.


Adam Leon

Americans Head To The Polls

Geez, you'd think somebody could have let me know ahead of time.


Martin Ray

Poll: 43% Of Americans Believe #MeToo Has Gone Too Far

In a finding divided more by party than gender, a poll found that 43 percent of Americans believe the #MeToo movement has gone too far, expressing concern about the rush to judgment and unproven accusations ruining peoples' careers. What do you think?

Yeah, I miss the days of just whipping out my penis and hoping for the best.


Rachel Lancaster

I'm glad we're not losing sight of the fact that the true victim in all of this has been Matt Lauer's career.


Casper Melendez

The PC police are probably going to come after me for this, but women aren't human beings.


Vernon Strong

Report: Wealth Of America's 3 Richest Families Grew By 6,000% Since 1982

Three U.S. families—the Waltons of Walmart, the Mars candy family, and the Koch brothers—have a combined wealth of $348.7 billion, a fortune that has increased 6,000 percent since 1982. What do you think?

I'm sure they all earned it. Remaining in somebody's will isn't always as easy as it sounds.


Lydia Hodgson

I love a good riches-to-obscene-riches story.


Harry Fraser

Huh. I wonder what they're saving up for.


Jules Horne

Democrats Win House

Democrats took back the House of Representatives in the 2018 midterm elections, providing a check on Republican policymaking and a rebuke to President Trump for the next two years. What do you think?

A Democratic win? Sounds like another win for Trump!


Henrietta Christensen

Democrats Win House

Democrats should be ashamed for continuing to divide America by winning elections.


Charles Dalton

Democrats Win House

After the embarrassment they faced in the 2016 election, this was a much-needed win for polling firms.


Gareth Snow

Idris Elba Named Sexiest Man Alive

People magazine named British actor Idris Elba the sexiest man alive, only the third time a person of color has won in the award's 32-year history. What do you think?


Francesco McNamara

Idris Elba Named Sexiest Man Alive

Whoa, wait a minute. He wasn't even on my state's ballot.


Felicia Simons

Idris Elba Named Sexiest Man Alive

This contest has a clear bias towards attractive males.


Isaac Mackenzie

Jeff Sessions Forced Out As Attorney General

President Trump forced Attorney General Jeff Sessions to resign, replacing him with a loyalist who could endanger the independence of the special counsel investigation. What do you think?

At least he was able to resign on someone else's terms.


Herschel Frank

Must suck to be forcibly separated like that.


Amy McCulloch

Ah, that's too bad for him and his particular brand of white nationalism.


Klara Harrison

Trump Says He Hopes To Work With Democrats On Infrastructure, Drug Pricing

In a Wednesday press conference, President Trump said that he hopes to work together with the newly victorious House Democrats on issues ranging from infrastructure to drug pricing. What do you think?


Jakob Roth

It's going to unify the country to see Trump and Pelosi come together to let Big Pharma continue to do whatever they want.


Oliver Philip

Phew, I was worried these next two years would be contentious.


Kevin McNally

Record Number Of Women To Take Seats In Congress

More than 100 women will take seats in the House of Representatives next year, a high watermark for nationwide representation. What do you think?

It's inspiring these women were elected despite lacking the upper-body strength of men.


Randall Montgomery

I've been waiting years to finally blame women for the government's dysfunction.


Siobhan Long

This never would've happened if we hadn't been so cavalier about letting women into this country.


Devin Clark

Emmanuel Macron Calls For 'True European Army' Against U.S., Chinese Threats

Stressing that Europe could no longer depend on the U.S. for protection, French president Emmanuel Macron called for a trans-European army amongst EU member states. What do you think?

I'm glad to see the European nations are finally willing to put their differences aside and realize war is the answer.


Barry Fredericks

Look at the way President Trump is bringing nations together!


Vivianne White

What a fantastic way to celebrate the centennial of WWI.


Adam Mathews

3 More States Vote To Legalize Marijuana

Voters in Michigan passed a measure Tuesday legalizing pot sales, while Utah and Missouri added themselves to the growing roster of 33 states where medical marijuana is legal. What do you think?

It's clear they want our senses dulled, now I just have to figure out why.


Nana Everett

I'm sure those judges who sent folks to extended prison sentences for marijuana are feeling awfully silly right about now.


Dante Gough

Now that Utah and Missouri are doing it, pot just seems lame.


Salman Tyler

Poll Finds Voters Don't Support Impeaching Trump

A new poll reveals support for Democrats impeaching Trump is tepid, with half of voters saying they oppose the possibility and only 31 percent supporting it. What do you think?

Understandable. Now that they've won the House, why not kick back and relax a little?


Morgan Morrison

For such violent extremists, the left sure are a bunch of candy-assed pussies.


Craig Melia

We can't keep thinking the solution to all of our problems is getting rid of the guy causing them.


Teddy Lamb

Political Ad Spending Hit New Record In 2018 Midterms

More money was spent in the 2018 election cycle than any previous midterm cycle. What do you think?

It would have been a lot cheaper just to buy my vote directly.


Homer Amin

Well, they're doing a great job amping me up for the election. I can't wait to vote!


Doug Preece

North Korea Possibly Still Operating Hidden Missiles Bases

Despite its denuclearization pledges, North Korea may be operating smaller, hidden missile bases, satellite analysis found. What do you think?

It's almost impossible to find a dictator you can trust these days!


Lilly-Mae Williamson

Smaller things are harder to find. Very clever, North Korea.


Dewey Connor

Amazon Officially Picks New York, Northern Virginia For Next Headquarters

Bringing to an end over a year of speculation, Amazon officially chose Long Island City, NY and Arlington, VA for their next headquarters, offering 50,000 jobs to the regions, while dividing locals who worry about rising property costs and transportation concerns. What do you think?

Do they have an office yet? I get $50 if I refer someone to my coworking space.


Indigo Horner

That's a lot of jobs that we can train to be automated in a few years.


Kevin Ford

Perfect, New York could really use some more shit going on.


Chad Wills

George R.R. Martin Admits He Struggling With New Book

In a recent interview, A Song of Ice And Fire author George R.R. Martin admitted that the plot's expansiveness and the pressures of expectations have caused him to struggle with the Game Of Thrones new book The Winds Of Winter. What do you think?

Personally, I perform best when 100 million people are screaming at me to finish.


Sadie Guzman

I don't care about the books, I'm just happy they got him to admit that he'll likely die a failure.


Holly Ellison

Wildfires More Frequent Because Of Climate Change, Forest Management

Large wildfires have increased due to both the climate warming by 1.3 degrees over the past 60 years and forest management, leading to a fivefold increase in major fires since the 1970s. What do you think?

Yeah, but there should be a lot less forest fires once there's a lot less forests.


Lemar Kramer

Let's tackle this forest management topic then.


Corban Eastwood

I can't believe I've been saying forest management was just a myth for so many years.


Greg Harmon

Hate Crimes Continue To Rise

An FBI report found that the number of reported hate crimes increased by 17 percent in 2017, with a notable 37 percent surge in anti-Jewish incidents. What do you think?

I'm confident Trump will get those numbers up in his second term.


Chelsie Begum

Hate Crimes Continue To Rise

We need to eliminate hate and promote love crimes!


Sam Merritt

Hate Crimes Continue To Rise

Thank God we live in a time when I can choose to ignore any data I find upsetting.


Hayley Lovell

Toy Story 4' Teaser Released

Pixar has released a teaser trailer for their next highly-anticipated film in the Toy Story series, depicting Buzz Lightyear, Woody, and a new character, Forky. What do you think?

Ah man. The nightmares had finally stopped.


Greg Blanchard

Toy Story 4' Teaser Released

This is why Pixar is the best, because of big ideas like a talking fork.


Brandan Castaneda

Toy Story 4' Teaser Released

How the hell are we supposed to know which one is Forky?


Ankin Alvarez

Percentage Of Unvaccinated Children In U.S. Has Quadrupled Since 2001

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that 1.3 percent of children born in 2017 did not receive any recommended vaccinations compared to 0.3 percent in 2001. What do you think?

Personally, I like to stay on the safe side and inject my kid with as much shit as possible.


Vernon Sims

I'm always down for a good culling of the herd.


Phoebe Sanford

I don't hear the kids who've survived complaining.


Brandi Woodard

Michael Bloomberg Gives $1.8 Billion To Johns Hopkins University

Former New York mayor Michael Bloomberg will give $1.8 billion to his alma mater to create need-blind admissions in perpetuity. What do you think?

Kudos to the alumni donation representative who cold-called and bagged that one.


Emil Thorpe

I'm glad to live in a world where billionaires decide which issues get solved for us.


Damien Salter

This could really come back to haunt him if he suddenly needs $1.8 billion.


Ted Clarke

California Sets Goal Of 100% Clean Energy By 2045

Governor Jerry Brown signed a bill putting California on track for a goal of 100 percent clean energy and carbon neutrality by 2045. What do you think?

Texas better step up its pollution game to even things out.


Susan Hartman

This is the kind of bold, forward-thinking leadership that we need in 1988.


Rory Dunn

And just how is Earth's atmosphere supposed to replace all the wind and sunlight they'll be using up?


Vivianne McGuire

CDC: Alzheimer's, Dementia Cases To Double By 2060

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that the number of Americans with Alzheimer's or dementia will double by 2060, growing from 5 million to 13.9 million cases. What do you think?

From all these statistics I've heard about the future, they'll be the lucky ones.


Mort Leonard

I'm not a fan of Alzheimer's, but even I have to admit this is impressive.


Stan Hess

It'll be a shame for the memories of all these shows I binge watch to just disappear.


Mandy Padilla

More Than 43 Million Travel Home For Thanksgiving

Braving airport crowds and flight delays, 43 million Americans will travel home this week to spend Thanksgiving with friends and family, the organization AAA predicted. What do you think?

I have no family, so I'm just driving around Wednesday through Sunday.


Frazier Gale

Thanksgiving is just another day for me and millions of other non-Pilgrims.


Izzy Egerton

Nation Celebrates Thanksgiving

Americans sit down today to commemorate the first Pilgrims' harvest by gathering with relatives and enjoying traditional Thanksgiving meals. What are you thankful for this year?

Listen, I showed up with a pie, okay? Do I have to be thankful, too?


Remi Sanders

Nation Celebrates Thanksgiving

Nothing right now, but I haven't checked the mail yet today so who knows?


Zoey Flanders

Nation Celebrates Thanksgiving


Jay Harvey

Study: Many Obama Voters Switched To Trump Because Of Race

A new study suggests that voters who supported President Obama but switched to Trump in 2016 tended to be more racially conservative and have less liberal attitudes towards racial minorities, contradicting the narrative attributing the shift to economic anxieties. What do you think?

How can they be racist if they voted for a black president and then an openly racist president?


Megan Campbell

I dunno, sometimes I think I'm racist and it turns out I'm just hungry and cranky.


Frank O'Connor

What can I say? Sometimes, it takes me eight years to realize somebody's black.


Caitlan Bradley

Milk Straight From Breast Best For Baby's Weight

A new study suggests that breastfed babies have a healthier weight than either formula-fed or bottled breast milk-fed babies. What do you think?

That's nice, but I'm going to do what's best for my nipples.


Eli Colon

It also wouldn't kill the baby to hit the gym a few days a week.


Ken Cooley

I'm getting really tired of everyone just assuming I want a healthy baby.


Reiss Baird

California Camp Fire Fully Contained

The historic California Camp Fire, the largest wildfire in the state's history, has finally been contained after raging since Nov. 5, wiping out thousands of homes and killing dozens. What do you think?

Just curious: Has anyone figured out God's endgame in all this?


Doug Daly

California Camp Fire Fully Contained

Thank God, one less horror to occasionally shuffle around to the forefront of my consciousness.


Jordana Tierney

California Camp Fire Fully Contained

At the risk of sounding insensitive, I continue to root for the fire.


Ahmet Finch

John Kasich 'Very Seriously' Considering Challenge To Trump In 2020

Ohio Gov. John Kasich revealed on Sunday that he's very seriously considering taking on President Trump in 2020, stressing that Americans need different leadership, there isn't any question about it. What do you think?

Nice! It'll be fun to hear a Kasich concession speech again.


Kevin Salgado

Those first 30 seconds of the Iowa Caucus results are gonna be a real nail-biter!


Susanna Waters

If you ask me, Trump could use a primary challenger to push him further to the right.


Roxie Hough

EU Leaders Approve Brexit Deal

In a major step forward for the United Kingdom's exit from the European Union, leaders of the EU approved a plan that gives Britain a 21-month transition period, thus setting up a December approval vote in the British Parliament. What do you think?

Now that this is almost over, they can finally move on to their next national embarrassment.


Steffan Yang

EU Leaders Approve Brexit Deal

Just 19 more votes and this will finally all be over in 78 months.


Charleigh McDermott

EU Leaders Approve Brexit Deal

It's truly inspiring to see Theresa May cling to power at any cost.


Connie Livingston

Millennials No Longer Living With Parents

A survey conducted by EY found that the percentage of millennials living with parents plunged to 16 percent from 30 percent in 2016, while home ownership has risen from 26 percent to 40 percent. What do you think?

Wow. Millennials' parents are dying off fast.


Anthony Drew

It's sad to see so many families being broken up.


Yehuda Cottrell

Does that mean their parents' couches are free?


Mae Brett

Pope Francis' Popularity Down Among Catholics

In the wake of the continued sexual assault scandals plaguing the Catholic Church, Pope Francis' popularity has declined by 20 percent among U.S. Catholics, putting him roughly on par with Pope Benedict. What do you think?

If things keep going this way, he might not win re-election.


Nicholas Greene

Maybe he could see if the Lutherans have any openings.


Anthony Hanna

If he continues at this rate, he could turn into a real Pope Boniface VIII.


Antoinette Peters

White House Calls Own Climate Change Report 'Extreme,' 'Not Based On Fact'

White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders criticized a climate report revealing the increasingly deadly climate change impacts the U.S. as based on the most extreme model scenario and not based on facts, despite the fact that the report was released by the Trump administration itself. What do you think?

I'm sure as soon as Trump is done in the lab he'll release his own findings.


Benjamin Chase

At least he wasn't smart enough to just not release the report.


Nikolas Waller

Give Trump credit. He's the only Republican brave enough to stand up to the White House like this.


Lucretia Vo

Democrats Pick Nancy Pelosi As Next House Speaker

More than a decade after she became the first female speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi is poised to again fill the role of majority leader for the Democrats. What do you think?

It's truly inspiring to see a woman cling to power like this.


Shawn Lloyd

Fine, but if things go well, I promise you I will give credit to somebody else.


Caspian Cole

I knew the establishment would never choose someone as inspirational and brave as the imaginary figure in my head.


Ty Ellwood

FDA Cracks Down On Vaping Among Young People

The FDA gave makers of popular vaping devices 60 days to prove they can keep them away from minors or face them being taken off the market, saying their use has reached an epidemic level. What do you think?

If they're trying to make vaping unattractive to kids, outlawing it should do the trick.


Terry Traynor

Undocumented Immigrant Population In U.S. Falls To 12-Year Low

A Pew Research Center survey found that the number of undocumented immigrants living in the U.S. has reached a 12-year low of 10.7 million, continuing a decade-long decline influenced by the recession and increased security measures. What do you think?

Then why do I feel like there are more and more immigrants attacking our country every day?


Roger Jensen

Hopefully this means my career as an apple picker will finally start taking off.


Mara Ferreira

China, U.S. Agree To Temporary Halt To Trade War

In a meeting at G20, China and the U.S. announced a 90-day window to pause their trade war and potentially bring an end to the bruising tariff fight. What do you think?

Anything is better than sending merchandise off to needlessly die in some trade war.


Nicholas Delgado

I'm glad we came to our senses so we can finally get back to selling each other cheap crap.


Nasir Hopper

Fed Proposes Forcing Drugmakers To List Drug Prices In Ads

Department of Health and Human Services secretary Alex Azar proposed rules requiring all drugmakers to disclose the price of drugs that cost more than $35 in their television ads. What do you think?

Good idea! Now I'll know for sure how much I can resell them for.


Evie-May Pacheco

Seems rude to deny people the brief moment where they think they can afford medical care.


Kyle Cleveland

Wow, that's an even better way to control drug prices than just actually controlling drug prices.


Torin Berry

Scientists Say Pluto Definitely A Planet

A study published in the scientific journal Icarus argues that Pluto never should have downgraded due to its undersized orbit, suggesting that this criterion for a planet is obsolete. What do you think?

Looks like all those 30-year-old science textbooks are accurate again!


Selena Carroll

If it's in space, it should get to be a planet.


Caleb Estes

It's the children who are hurt most by this kind of bickering.


Sharmin Manning

International Climate Conference Kicks Off In Poland

Leaders from around the world will meet for the next two weeks to discuss how to decrease greenhouse gas emissions and monitor nations' fidelity to the Paris agreement amidst escalating evidence that humanity isn't doing enough to counter climate change. What do you think?

I hope enough countries get on board that America doesn't really need to.


Kris Woodard

I hope knowing they'll be ignored takes some of the pressure off.


Harold Huff

Mueller Expected To Reveal Details About 3 Major Players In Russia Investigation

Prosecutors for Special Counsel Robert Mueller will file several new documents this week about some of the most important players in the Russia probe, including former national security adviser Michael Flynn, former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, and former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen. What do you think?

Finally, we'll know whether the Trump administration committed any wrongdoing beyond all their illegal actions.


Bryce Britton

Destroy my faith in Trump and I will rebuild it with conspiracies wilder than you can possibly imagine.


Aleisha Holding

David Attenborough Says Collapse Of Civilization On Horizon

Speaking at the UN climate conference in Poland, Sir David Attenborough told world leaders that humanity will collapse without immediate action on climate change. What do you think?

Did he happen to say anything about why the Cedar Waxwing hops from side to side? I've been wondering.


Fred Hart

Well, of course he would say that. He loves nature.


Danny Castro

And what a great BBC docuseries it'll make!


Summer Howard

Defeated Republicans In Wisconsin, Michigan Move To Neutralize Democrats

After losing several key races in the states, defeated Republican lawmakers in Wisconsin and Michigan are taking legislative action to weaken the positions of governor and attorney general before Democrats assume office. What do you think?

It's just that kind of out-of-the-box thinking that didn't get them elected.


Derek Wainwright

I'll remember this in 2020, assuming I haven't been purged from the voter rolls.


Harper Peck

If I know the Democrats, this probably wasn't necessary.


Ellis Peterson

NRCC Emails Stolen During Major 2018 Election Hack

Hackers stole emails from the House Republicans Congressional Committee in a major cyber attack during the 2018 midterm elections, although the intentions of the attack are still unknown, individuals familiar with the matter revealed. What do you think?

I can't imagine American voters would care about something as trivial as emails.


Susannah Cope

The hackers probably just want to teach us an important lesson about data security.


Hugh Macgregor

This is what happens when you give Giuliani admin status.


Haylee McClure

Tumblr To Ban All Adult Content

Tumblr, the social blogging platform, will ban all X-rated content and most nudity in an effort to create a better, more positive environment. What do you think?

Joke's on them. I'll masturbate to anything.


Andrew Osborn

Tumblr To Ban All Adult Content

If I wanted a positive environment, I wouldn't be on Tumblr.


Jody Sinclair

Tumblr To Ban All Adult Content

The people who think Tumblr is the best place to find pornography are in for a hell of a treat.


Jasmin Bray

Wes Anderson Begins Filming Next Film In France

Wes Anderson's next film, The French Dispatch, has started filming with stars including Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, and Timothée Chalamet in a narrative rumored to revolve around the world of journalism in 20th-century Paris. What do you think?

They can include all the movie stars they want, it's just not a Wes Anderson movie unless key grip Sanjay Sami is involved.


Finn Blankenship

Hasn't someone else already made a movie set in France?


Harold Weil

Have they announced the whimsical fonts yet?


Terry Worthington

John Kelly Out As Chief Of Staff

Speaking Friday, President Trump confirmed John Kelly will be leaving as chief of staff by the end of the year after 18 months defined by an attempt at instilling discipline on an often chaotic administration. What do you think?

I guess the picture-perfect White House we see in the news actually has some conflict bubbling just beneath the surface.


Olive Emerson

John Kelly Out As Chief Of Staff

I get that he's no Sherman Adams, but let's not go painting him as some kind of Kenneth Duberstein.


Keenan Wriley

John Kelly Out As Chief Of Staff

I've already said no to the job. Leave me alone.


Peter Broughton

5G Phones Coming

Offering faster internet speeds and better battery life, recent announcements from Verizon, AT&T, and Sprint suggest 5G devices will begin to appear on the market in the first half of 2019. What do you think?

Great! I can finally replace this $1,500 piece of shit.


Ishmael Wolfe

5G Phones Coming

Just tell me where there's a line, I'll go stand in it.


Karen Irvine

5G Phones Coming

Dear God, how many more Gs until we are satisfied?


Otto Myers

Satanic Statue On Display In Illinois Capitol Building For Holidays

The Illinois Capitol rotunda will display a statue from The Satanic Temple-Chicago featuring a snake wrapping around Eve's hand as a testament to freedom of religion and the group's view of Satan as a wisdom-bestowing hero. What do you think?

Isn't the Illinois Capitol building itself already a testament to Satan?


Habiba Fitzgerald

My son went through a phase like this, too.


Gereon Cotton

Still better than something science-related.


Ashleigh Copeland

Court Filings Suggest Trump Illegally Directed Hush Money Payments

Sentencing filings by the Southern District of New York reveal that Trump personally directed illegal hush money payments in 2016 to women with whom he allegedly had affairs in violation of campaign finance laws. What do you think?

Oh, everything's always illegal to those people.


Roger Landry

Trump shouldn't be too worried. I'm sure he'll be accused of much worse stuff.


Gabriel Wainwright

If that's where he wanted my campaign contribution to go, then that's fine with me.


Sanya Hodson

U.S. Coal Consumption Drops To Lowest Level In 40 Years

Frustrating the president's pledges to bring back the industry, the U.S. Energy Information Administration projected this week that America will end 2018 having used less coal than any time since 1979. What do you think?

Good on the U.S. for finally recognizing its role in climate change, doing nothing, and waiting until market forces just happen to counteract it!


Terrence Frazier

Jesus—then how are our nation's steamboats getting around?


Tylor Skinner

At this rate, we'll never be able to compete with China's smog density!


Walter Boone

Time Awards Person Of The Year To Targeted Journalists Including Jamal Khashoggi

For their persons of the year, Time magazine has chosen The Guardians, a group of journalists targeted for opposing the war on truth, which includes Jamal Khashoggi, arrested Reuters journalists Wa Lone and Kyaw Soe Oo, murdered reporters at the Capital Gazette, and Maria Ressa, chief executive of the Philippine news website Rappler. What do you think?

This seems sort of biased toward people who have made immense personal sacrifices.


Lily-Grace William

How can we trust the media to cover the murder of their colleagues without bias?


Eren Bird

What a great way to draw attention to Time magazine.


Rueben James

Trump Ex-Lawyer Michael Cohen Given 36 Months In Prison

Michael Cohen, Donald Trump's ex-lawyer and fixer, was given three years in prison for nine federal charges of tax evasion, violating campaign finance laws, and lying to banks and to Congress. What do you think?

I hope he's learned his lesson and he never violates a number of federal laws in an attempt to help Donald Trump win an election ever again.


Jaimee McCullough

Please, that guy? He won't even make it 32 months.


Martin Lopez

All this effort and yet Mueller hasn't been able to turn up anything but white-collar crimes.


Jonathan Connolly

Theresa May Delays Vote On Brexit Deal

Facing passionate opposition to the arrangement she brokered with Brussels, Theresa May postponed the parliamentary vote on a Brexit deal to avoid near-certain defeat. What do you think?

Maybe if they delay long enough, everyone will just forget about it.


Barbara Roman

Theresa May Delays Vote On Brexit Deal

I appreciate her willingness to sacrifice her political career to accomplish something no one wants.


Andrew Powell

Theresa May Delays Vote On Brexit Deal

She's got to be the worst queen England's ever had.


Christiana Whitfield

Supreme Court Will Not Hear Case On Defunding Planned Parenthood

In a win for Planned Parenthood, the Supreme Court opted to avoid a high-profile case concerning whether to allow Kansas and Louisiana to strip Medicaid money from Planned Parenthood. What do you think?

Only good has ever come from the time-honored American tradition of avoiding tough issues altogether.


Emer Gamble

Yeah, it's smart to wait until the whole abortion controversy dies down.


Virginia Workman

Charlottesville Jury Recommends 419 Years Plus Life For Neo-Nazi Who Killed Protester

James Alex Fields Jr. was given a recommended sentence of life plus 419 years in prison for killing Heather Heyer and seriously injuring 35 others. What do you think?

Imagine the sentence if he hadn't been a very fine person.


Alby Stubbs

Yeah, but you know he'll end up actually only serving a century or two.


Fred Simmons

That's not fair. He killed someone and now he gets to live for another 419 years?


Colton Solomon

Maria Butina Pleads Guilty To Russian Scheme To Influence Conservatives

In a deal with federal prosecutors, Maria Butina pleaded guilty to conspiring to act as a foreign agent as part of a broader effort to incline notable members of the NRA and other conservatives towards Russia. What do you think?


Diego Austin

I won't let one bad apple prejudice me against all attractive women who attempt to incline me towards Russia.


Patricia Hogg

I'm sure she wants to put this all behind her so she can get back to Russia and fall out a window by accident.


Catherine Archer

Sesame Street' Includes First Muppet To Experience Homelessness

Sesame Street street puppet Lily, a 7-year-old bright pink Muppet, will become the show's first character to experience homelessness, with the show's producers hoping this addition will create empathy and a sense of understanding on the issue among children. What do you think?

You'd think with all the dough PBS rakes in through donations they could at least set her up in a motel for a few nights.


Tyler-James Scott

No big deal, I've heard Sesame Street is relatively safe.


Merrick Cottrell

What a great way to encourage children to be kinder to homeless puppets!


Nick Villa

Social Media Overtakes Newspapers As Source Of News

A new Pew study found that for the first time, more Americans get their news from social media than newspapers. What do you think?

Right, I remember reading about this on Instagram.


Jessica Hyde

As long as the people reading it on TV still get it from newspapers, we'll be fine.


Stella Oliver

Chuck Schumer Insists Democrats Won't Budge On Wall

Chuck Schumer declared this week that Democrats will not provide any more funding for a border wall, noting that he and fellow Democrats are willing to wait until they have a House majority to help push forward their interests. What do you think?

If they don't reflexively kowtow to Republican demands, in what sense are they even Democrats?


Andersen Davey

It's just like Democrats to use their electoral victories to push forward their agenda.


Bjorn Dunne

Some way or another, Trump is going to find a way to keep talking about building a border wall.


Jeanette Guerrero

Kotex Tampons Recalled After Reports Of Pieces Left In Bodies

Kimberly-Clark is recalling U by Kotex Sleek regular absorbency tampons after reports of the tampons unraveling or coming apart upon removal, which caused some users to seek medical attention. What do you think?


Kevin Cano

That's too bad, tampons are, like, their whole thing.


Jon-Paul Cleveland

Women deserve more positive news stories. Stories about tampons doing a good job.


Marnie Farrell

Merriam-Webster Names 'Justice' Word Of The Year

Merriam-Webster named justice the Word Of The Year for 2018, explaining that the concept of justice was at the center of many of our national debates in the past year: Racial justice, social justice, criminal justice, economic justice. What do you think?


Luke Munoz

I'd expect nothing less from a liberal rag like the dictionary.


Peter Erickson

Wow. There's really a word for everything.


Mona Mackie

Gun Deaths In U.S. At 40-Year High

A new report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention revealed gun deaths in the U.S. reaching a record high, with such fatalities increasing by 10,000 from 1999 levels to 39,773 people in 2017. What do you think?

What are we supposed to do about it, just stop shooting each other?


Dante Herrera

Gun Deaths In U.S. At 40-Year High

This is exactly why we need to stop releasing data about gun deaths.


Nicholas Peel

Gun Deaths In U.S. At 40-Year High

Sure, but the alternative of much fewer gun deaths is too ghastly to imagine.


Will Conro

Radiohead, Janet Jackson Inducted Into Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame

The Rock & Roll Hall of Fame will induct a 2019 class including Radiohead, Janet Jackson, Stevie Nicks, The Cure, The Zombies, and several others. What do you think?

Jackson? The same Janet Jackson who went to Lanai Road Elementary? Holy cow! Good for her!


Edison Mahoney

Radiohead's father must be so proud of him.


Eliza Walter

Amazing to think Janet Jackson will soon be joining the illustrious ranks of Gene Vincent and the Paul Butterfield Blues Band.


Humbert Talbot

Poll: Most Americans Oppose Increased Political Correctness

In a finding that crossed racial, educational, and demographic lines, a new NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll found most Americans are against the country becoming more politically correct, including a majority of independent voters. What do you think?

I'm glad that America can come together and agree about something we all have a different definition of.


Peggy Bevan

Hey, as long as I don't personally find it offensive, I say go for it.


Stefan Bell

You mean I've been bottling up all these racial and sexual slurs for no reason?


Frank Ewing

Apple Will Build $1 Billion Campus In Austin, Adding 5,000 Jobs

Apple plans to employ 5,000 new workers at a new campus one miles from downtown Austin, TX, which will eventually have room to accommodate up to 15,000 workers. What do you think?

Couldn't they have turned it into a long, expensive, drawn-out process like a normal tech company?


Beatriz Riley

Who am I to question a billionaire's decision?


Veronica Blankenship

New Year's Resolution

Each year, Americans celebrate New Year's Eve by resolving to change some aspect of their lives. What is your New Year's resolution?


Ira Gale

New Year's Resolution

I'm finally going to go to the gym and throw up in the bathroom after running for 10 minutes!


Ryan Appleton

New Year's Resolution

This is gonna be the year I get more free stuff.


Evan Copelan

Poll: Most Americans Blame Trump For Shutdown

A new poll from SSRS found that 55 percent of Americans blame President Trump for the shutdown, while 32 percent say the blame rests mostly with the Democrats. What do you think?

At least Trump finally got the majority of Americans he has always wanted.


Harris Hensley

I'm not really vested in this until it affects my flight.


Siobhan Dennis

GOP Leaders Condemn Steve King For White Supremacy Comment

Senator Mitt Romney and Majority Leader Mitch McConnell have sharply criticized GOP Rep. Steve King (R-IA) for comments he made that were sympathetic to white supremacy. What do you think?

I can't believe King is still expressing these horrible views that got him elected.


Kevin Greig

Come on, those comments were completely taken out of context from a much lengthier, nuanced discussion on the master race.


Tyrell Davenport

FBI Opened Inquiry Into Whether Trump Working For Russians

After President Trump's firing of FBI director James Comey, the bureau became so concerned about his behavior that they began investigating whether he was collaborating with Russia, although the findings of the inquiry are unclear. What do you think?

It's probably best they don't make their findings public with the presidential election only two years away.


Montel Hobbes

It's the FBI who are the real criminals that the FBI should investigate!


Helen Whittaker

The guy does 1,762 little suspicious things and suddenly he's a Russian agent?


Patricia Walker

Photo Of Egg Breaks World Record For Most-Liked Instagram Post

An Instagram photo of an egg posted by @world_record_egg received 35 million likes, surpassing the last record holder, Kylie Jenner, to become the most-liked Instagram post in history. What do you think?

Oof, I feel bad for Kylie. She had a baby for absolutely no reason.


Devin McCray

Enjoy it now, egg, because fame doesn't last long.


Jameel Connor

That really puts into perspective just how little my eggs have accomplished.


Winston Bautista

U.K. Parliament Rejects Theresa May's Brexit Deal

In a critical blow to the prime minister, the U.K. parliament voted to reject Theresa May's Brexit deal. What do you think?

If they want the world's respect, they'll see this terrible idea through to completion.


Nichole Devlin

Perhaps some screaming and gavel-pounding would help.


Terry Rose

Holy shit. I think I just got what 'Brexit' stands for.


Liam Hutchings

Pelosi Asks Trump To Delay State of the Union During Shutdown

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi asked the president to delay the State of the Union—typically scheduled for January 29—until the shutdown ends, citing security concerns and obstacles in planning. What do you think?

Oh, God. My kids are going to be devastated.


McCauley Read

Okay, but has the speaker given any indication on what we should watch instead that night?


Taliah Fowler

You mean we could've stopped these anytime?


Siya Searle

Netflix Raising Prices

In its largest such increase in history, Netflix will raise prices to $13 per month on its most popular subscription plan. What do you think?

Well, that's the final straw, I'm canceling my dental insurance!


Edgar Savage

Netflix Raising Prices

After I already give them so much of my time?


Ernest O'Neil

Netflix Raising Prices

This is preposterous! What's next? $13.50 per month?


Billy-Joe Gallagher

Michael Cohen Says He Paid To Rig Polls In Trump's Favor

Former Trump attorney Michael Cohen revealed that he paid $13,000 at the direction of Trump to rig several 2016 polls in the then-presidential candidate's favor. What do you think?

Man, that guy would say anything to further destroy his own reputation.


Luella Galloway

If only Gary Johnson had thought of this.


Andrew Delarosa

Thankfully, dishonest deeds like this virtually never end up paying off.


Kit Pham

Polar Vortex Splits Into U.S.-Chilling Rings

The polar vortex—the swirling winds above the arctic—has fractured into three rings that will spread freezing temperatures through the eastern U.S. in late January. What do you think?

Oh good, I thought I was cold because I just walked through a ghost.


Larry Sykes

On the bright side, think of how cool all those whirling vortexes are going to look on a weather map!


Soren Bean

Looks like we've got a white Christmas in store after all!


Rebekah Gutierrez

Trump Approval Plunges Amidst Shutdown

As the government shutdown extends to the longest in history, a new NPR/PBS/Marist poll found Trump's approval down to 39 percent, a seven-point net change in the past month. What do you think?

Trump didn't get where he is by worrying about what a bunch of Americans think.


André Valdez

Trump Approval Plunges Amidst Shutdown

His low approval rating just makes him more relatable to me.


Kevin White

Trump Approval Plunges Amidst Shutdown

Only time can tell if a consistent majority of Americans are right about Trump.


Louisa Montes

Nation Celebrates MLK Day

Today, Americans will celebrate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday to commemorate his life and historic contributions to the Civil Rights Movement. What do you think?

It's still a little odd to me that the U.S. government takes a day off every year to celebrate its role in MLK's assassination.


Randolph Grimes

Nation Celebrates MLK Day

I'm glad the government is taking a break from the shutdown to close out of respect for MLK.


Fred Regan

Nation Celebrates MLK Day

That's weird—I've always thought King was a Scorpio.


Elsie-Rose Battle

Kamala Harris Enters 2020 Race

Kamala Harris, the California senator and former attorney general, announced plans for a 2020 run, emphasizing justice and equality as she entered the Democratic presidential field. What do you think?

Huh, I thought we already had a woman running.


Christos Bellamy

Kamala Harris Enters 2020 Race

Justice and equality, huh? Did she come out for or against?


Tanner Solis

Kamala Harris Enters 2020 Race

What about Beto? Did she happen to mention if he was running?


Teigan Barker

The Favourite,' 'Roma' Top Oscars Nominations With 10 Each

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences unveiled its nominations for the 91st annual Oscars with nods to The Favourite and Roma alongside nods for Black Panther and A Star Is Born. What do you think?

Ugh, the Academy's always getting suckered into rewarding good movies that people enjoyed.


Charles Tyler

Congrats to the Academy for giving Spike Lee his first chance to lose on live television.


Greg Amos

I hate when they nominate artsy movies that you have to watch to understand.


Susan Trejo

Super Bowl Set For Rams-Patriots

For the third year running, the New England Patriots will go to the Super Bowl—this time to face off against the Los Angeles Rams. What do you think?

Hopefully, the Patriots will put an end to their embarrassing two-year championship drought.


Kristopher Bass

Super Bowl Set For Rams-Patriots

Ah, a classic bad guys vs. worse guys matchup.


Daniel Hastings

Super Bowl Set For Rams-Patriots

It does sound pretty cool—maybe I should try to swing by.


Izaak Craig

YouTube Bans Dangerous Prank Videos

YouTube will alter its guidelines to cut down on the number of dangerous prank videos on the service, such as the Tide Pod or Bird Box challenge. What do you think?

They shouldn't pull the plug until we've collected all possible data on what eating a tablespoon of cinnamon does.


Ted Dean

YouTube Bans Dangerous Prank Videos

Thank God. I'm very susceptible to following dangerous trends.


Kacey Rubio

YouTube Bans Dangerous Prank Videos

I don't need YouTube's permission to eat laundry detergent.


Jason Ferrell

Roku Pulls 'Infowars' Channel Following Complaints

Roku has backtracked on its decision to give Alex Jones' Infowars videos a channel on its service, citing intense backlash on social media. What do you think?

Another company forced to bend to the will of SJWs and humanoid-lizard pedophiles.


Matthew Moore

This works out fine since Alex and I decided it was best for me to send him money directly.


Aria Bauer

Alex Jones is gonna be so pissed before anyone tells him about this.


Albie Hunter

Growing Number Rely On Traditional Outlets Amidst Growth In Fake News

The number of Americans turning to traditional outlets for their news has risen from 28 percent to 40 percent amidst a rash of fake news on social media and blogs. What do you think?

Yeah, but you still can't find a really good clapback in the Financial Times.


Arnold Jefferson

But still definitely not newspapers, right?


Cara Griffith

Government Reopens

In a surprise decision, the president caved to Democrats and agreed to reopen the government for three weeks without gaining any funds for a hypothetical border wall. What do you think?


Bo Mcmillan

Government Reopens

Goddamnit. Now this 'Government Shutdown 2019' back tattoo is going to look dumb.


Darlene Manning

Government Reopens

So do I still have to pay taxes this year or what?


Kelly Whitfield

Nuclear, Climate Threats Keep Doomsday Clock Close To Midnight

The Doomsday Clock, created by the Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists as an indicator of the risk of doomsday, remained at two minutes to midnight this year due to significant threats of nuclear warfare and climate change. What do you think?

Fine, but doomsday horology is a shaky science at best.


Fern Norton

I always set mine a little fast in case I'm running late.


Steve Moses

I've never listened to clocks, and I'm not about to start now.


Fred Hanson

Record Number Now Consider Climate Change Personal Issue, Poll Finds

According to a Yale and George Mason poll, more than 70 percent of Americans now feel climate change is personally important to them, a 9 percent increase from last March and a record in polling that reveals rapidly changing perspectives nationwide. What do you think?

I think we can all agree that the government should stay out of personal issues.


Jeremy Bannister

Climate scientists are going to be so thrilled to hear their decades of warnings finally reached people way too late.


Anne Ingram

Well, it caused my divorce if that's what you mean.


Chandni Noel

Sequel To Original 'Ghostbusters' Being Made

Sony Pictures is planning a direct sequel to the 1984 science-fiction comedy Ghostbusters, ignoring the 2016 all-female reboot. What do you think?

I blindly trashed the reboot without seeing it, so it's only fair I blindly praise this sequel.


Nelly Povey

I think it's great that men are finally getting the chance to portray ghostbusters.


Eshaan Lacey

Finally! I've been dying to see a deeper exploration of the tragically flawed but compelling character of Slimer.


Halley Mccallum

U.S. And Taliban Agree To Framework For Peace Deal

U.S. and Taliban peace talks have produced a tentative agreement, which would see a pullout of American troops in exchange for a ceasefire and talks with the Afghan government that could potentially bring an end to America's longest war. What do you think?

But I promised my kid he could fight in that war someday.


Brett Cash

Now that it beat the Vietnam War's record, I see no reason to keep it going.


Shawn Quinn

I'm glad the U.S. has gotten past its grudges and seen we're not all that different from the Taliban.


Jay Maguire

Roger Stone Open To Cooperating With Mueller

After a dramatic pre-dawn arrest by the FBI, political consultant Roger Stone indicated that he is open to cooperating with Robert Mueller in the ongoing probe of the Trump campaign. What do you think?


Emma Abbott

But wasn't it his open-mindedness to cooperation that got him into this whole mess in the first place?


Kevin Carty

It's disgusting to see so little loyalty from all the people Trump has publicly belittled and distanced himself from.


Jodie Dickens

Shutdown Cost U.S. Economy $11 Billion

An estimate from the CBO found that the recent shutdown cost the U.S. economy roughly $11 billion by dampening economic activity and furloughing federal workers. What do you think?

I hate how dependent our country is on a functioning government.


Perry Pacheco

Shutdown Cost U.S. Economy $11 Billion

I'm sure it won't be that much if we all split it.


Steven Dunlop

Shutdown Cost U.S. Economy $11 Billion


Zack Houghton

Record-Breaking Cold Grips Midwest

Polar winds are bringing historic cold to the midwest this week, with Chicago expected to reach as low as -20º fahrenheit for the first time since the mid-1990s. What do you think?

Don't worry, this will be nothing but a distant memory once we start hitting record highs this summer.


Naomi McFadden

Record-Breaking Cold Grips Midwest

Chicago-style cold is good, but it's too much. Give me a thin, crusty New York frost any day.


Craig Bender

Record-Breaking Cold Grips Midwest

Just once, I'd like the Midwest to break a record that wasn't related to the weather or people's weights


Seamus Firth

Screen Time Bad For Toddler Development

A University of Calgary study found that children from ages 2-5 who engage in three or more hours of screen use daily suffer lower test scores, a finding that the authors linked to diminished interactions with the environment and caregivers. What do you think?

Far be it for me to tell my toddler what to do with his life.


Frida Mercado

Screen Time Bad For Toddler Development

Okay, and how important is toddler development?


Stephen Paterson

Screen Time Bad For Toddler Development


Oliver Chadwick

Democrats Pick Georgia's Stacey Abrams To Give State Of The Union Rebuttal

Former Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams will give the rebuttal to President Trump's State of the Union address next week. What do you think?

I don't know her, but somehow I find her angry and inexperienced.


Mazie Haskell

I guess don't lose the Georgia governor's race or this is what you're stuck with.


Isaac Powell

Trump's going to be pissed they didn't pick him.


Deacon Cortes

Venezuela President: U.S. Invasion Would Be Worse Than Vietnam

After President Trump recognized the country's opposition leader, contested Venezuelan president Nicolas Maduro cautioned that any U.S. involvement could risk a crisis worse than Vietnam. What do you think?

If we play our cards right, I think we could turn this into a Somali Civil War situation at worst.


Kevin Ward

Please. That war was hundreds of years ago.


Melissa Garrison

U.S. Falls In Annual Global Corruption Rankings

The U.S. has dropped from 16th to 22nd place in the Corruption Perceptions Index due to eroding norms and trust in its institutions, placing it ahead of the UAE and behind France. What do you think?

I'd have to agree. We have not been putting in the same effort at cover-ups.


Griff Hughes

I certainly don't trust our institutions if we can't even intimidate our way to a better ranking.


Gabriel Friedman

I wonder if this is because of all the corruption.


Karim Randall

Elizabeth Warren Apologizes For DNA Test

In a call to the principal chief of the Cherokee Nation, senator and presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren apologized for a DNA test she released in October suggesting she had Native American ancestry and reiterated that she is not a citizen of any tribal nation. What do you think?

Owning up to and rectifying a mistake is just one reason she's not fit to lead.


Ada Chester

It's terrible she has to go through this after all her people have endured.


Eric McMahon

Top Democrats Call On Virginia Governor To Resign

After the release of photos appearing to show Ralph Northam in blackface or a Ku Klux Klan hood, top Democrats, including Senator Chuck Schumer, have called on the Virginia governor to resign. What do you think?

I'm sure he'll give us a perfectly reasonable explanation for all this after he changes his story a few more times.


Greg Warren

I hope he's learned that America doesn't tolerate blatant displays of intolerance, only dog whistles and subtle suggestions of racism.


Marta Ryan

He's clearly forgiven himself, which is the most important thing.


Andy Sharples

Trump Delivers State Of The Union

In an address that ranged from calls for increased border security to a pledge to end the HIV epidemic, President Trump delivered the State of the Union Tuesday night. What do you think?

I'd hate to have to fact-check that speech. I quit being a fact-checker years ago, and I feel like it'd be a step backward for me, career-wise.


Jamila Gough

Trump Delivers State Of The Union

Once again he proved he's not some out-of-touch coherent elitist.


Mo Wilkes

Trump Delivers State Of The Union

What a night! The clapping! The standing up! The sitting down! Wow!


Lars Haley

Ben Affleck To Leave Role Of Batman

In a social media post, Ben Affleck confirmed that he will not take part in an upcoming 2021 Batman film, signaling his departure from the role he has played for several movies in the DC Extended Universe. What do you think?

Well, I'll always remember him as one of the eight guys who played Batman.


Vivien Bloggs

Ben Affleck To Leave Role Of Batman

Fine with me as long as he's still in the Bruce Wayne role.


Ned Combs

Ben Affleck To Leave Role Of Batman

Darn, he was the best one after Val Kilmer and the Legos.


Yanis Jimenez

MIT Teaches Robot How To Play Jenga

Using machine learning algorithms, MIT researchers successfully taught a robot how to play the board game Jenga. What do you think?

Just cut to the chase and teach them to kill us already.


Felicia Conroy

MIT Teaches Robot How To Play Jenga

I really hope they thought about the potential consequences of giving a machine this kind of power.


Lenny Forster

MIT Teaches Robot How To Play Jenga

How awesome to stand at the twilight of man's domination of Jenga, knowing that the very model we assumed would last forever is even now crumbling at our feet.


Brad Navarro

Hawaii Could Increase Legal Age Of Smoking To 100

A new bill proposed by State Representative Richard Creagan (D) would increase the smoking age in Hawaii to 100, effectively banning smoking for most people in the state. What do you think?

How are you supposed to even live that long without a nourishing daily cigarette?


Faris Reynolds

People are just going to get their 100-year-old friends to buy them cigarettes.


Ifan Daugherty

I've always thought that more laws should be passive-aggressive.


Celeste Reyes

Study: Vaping Better Aid To Quit Smoking Than Gum Or Patches

A major new study found that e-cigarettes are twice as effective as gum or patches in helping users quit smoking, with 18 percent of vapers being able to quit over a one-year period. What do you think?

Which one is best for someone who's looking to take up smoking?


Lawrence Black

You mean I can stop eating all these patches?


Winifred Douglas

As much as I love vaping, nothing beats the feeling of applying a fresh medicinal patch first thing in the morning.


Samantha Bryan

2018 Fourth-Hottest Year On Record

Federal climate experts announced this week that 2018, a year in which the U.S. experienced $91 billion in direct losses from weather disasters, was the fourth-hottest year on record. What do you think?


Ted Dotson

2018 Fourth-Hottest Year On Record


Mervin Iles

2018 Fourth-Hottest Year On Record

It's sad that scientists seek to divide us by accurately recording this information.


Kendall Seymour

Amazon Reconsidering New York HQ After Backlash

Following blowback from politicians and residents of New York City, tech giant Amazon is reportedly considering not placing its second headquarters in Long Island City. What do you think?

If they don't get Amazon, they should at least get another Quiznos. I love that place.


Greg Churchill

I'm so sick of corporations bowing to every whim of the people they impact.


Peter Chase

This is why they should've chosen a city with people whose spirits are more broken.


Chantal Bellamy

Survey Finds Many Gamers Never Finished 'Red Dead Redemption 2'

A new survey found that the average player only completed 22 percent of the lengthy main storyline of Red Dead Redemption 2, suggesting that many video gamers are unable to find the time or motivation to finish such long campaigns. What do you think?

You mean the part where you see an alligator isn't the end of it?


Vince Warner

You can only kill so many beavers in a game before you move on to killing them in real life.


Delilah Rodriquez

Vaccinations Soar By 500% In Measles Outbreak County

Clark County, the region of Washington troubled by an outbreak of 50 cases of measles, has seen vaccination rates surge by 500 percent in the past month as parents scramble to ensure their children are not infected. What do you think?

Thank God my unvaccinated children and I are all the way in Florida.


Fred Kearns

Disease epidemics are great PR for vaccines.


Alex Munro

It's like a wonderful miracle where a lot of people got sick.


Maya Amos

Plummeting Insect Numbers Could Cause Collapse Of Ecosystems

A recent analysis found more than 40 percent of insect species are declining and a third are endangered, a development that threatens to upend ecosystems worldwide. What do you think?

What about flies? Tell me flies are going to be okay!


Maxwell Hagan

Would it help if I left out a bunch of fruit?


Eric Buxton

The ants in my bathroom seem like they're doing pretty well for themselves though.


Dave Hancock

Suicide Rates Falling Worldwide

A Global Burden of Disease analysis found that deaths per 100,000 people declined 32.7 percent since 1990, a promising finding that researchers attribute to greater spending on prevention. What do you think?

I'd like to think my inspirational Instagram posts played at least a small role in this.


Sonny Alcock

Suicide Rates Falling Worldwide

It makes sense when you consider how much better video game graphics have gotten.


Sarah Garcia

Suicide Rates Falling Worldwide

Clearly, we live in a time of unparalleled optimism and hope.


Harold Enriquez

El Chapo Given Life Sentence

Joaquín Guzmán Loera, the Mexican drug kingpin known as El Chapo, received a life sentence for criminal enterprises including decades of drug trafficking, bribery, and murder. What do you think?

Hopefully, this serves as a deterrent for anyone considering committing murder for decades.


Briana Sullivan

El Chapo Given Life Sentence

Huh. I think I could be a judge, that sounds easy.


Grayson Dalby

El Chapo Given Life Sentence

So it's safe to run a rival drug cartel again?


Ian Decker

Nation Celebrates Valentine's Day

Today, millions of Americans will celebrate romance with chocolates, flowers, and other offerings of love. How will you celebrate Valentine's Day?

Ah, crap, today's the 14th? I'm supposed to be in court!


Kerry Sharp

Nation Celebrates Valentine's Day

Probably my usual farcical darting back and forth between two restaurant tables with my two dates.


Dale Hardin

Nation Celebrates Valentine's Day

Sorry, I don't buy into that bullshit corporate idea that I should show love to my significant other.


Rudolphina Weiss

Congress Reaches Tentative Deal For Border Security Deal

Congressional negotiators have reached a tentative deal to avert a shutdown, providing $1.375 billion for 55 new miles of border fencing in Texas' Rio Grande Valley area, which some conservative pundits have criticized as far short of Trump's requested amount. What do you think?

So wasteful. Just think of all the ICE detention centers that money could buy.


Danny East

Oh, no! Having a monthly government shutdown was the last stable thing in life I had to depend on.


Daniel Hulme

Mass Invasion Of Polar Bear Forces Russian Islands To Declare Emergency

After dozens of polar bears flooded into the Novaya Zemlya archipelago, local authorities have declared a state of emergency. Environmental experts in the region have arrived to sedate and remove the population. What do you think?


Fionn O'Brien

You don't see bears sedating us every time we flood their territory.


Olivia Costa

So you're saying my screenplays control reality?


Erika Duke

Female Brains More Youthful Than Male Ones

A recent study found that women's brains tend to appear to be about three years younger than those of men at the same age, a difference scientists suggest could give them an advantage in maintaining cognitive acuity as they get older. What do you think?

Men are still better overall, though, right?


Orson Plummer

I actually prefer older brains on women.


Alfie-Jay Lambert

Well, well—looks like cognitive decay is just another thing men are naturally better at.


Lori Pope

U.K. Passes Bill Making 'Upskirting' Illegal

The U.K. passed a bill outlawing upskirting, giving a maximum of two years to offenders who take photographs beneath a person's clothes without permission. What do you think?

As a general rule, I never trust anyone holding a cellphone up to my underwear.


Craig Hope

This is why we fought to liberate ourselves from that tyranny.


Frederic Walters

Then what am I supposed to take pictures of on my trip to London?


Steven Case

Aquaman 2' Announced

Warner Bros. has brought back Aquaman's writer to draft a sequel to the original film, which made $1.1 billion globally at the box office despite a negative reaction from critics. What do you think?

I love it when there's more than one of something.


Joe Blessing

Aquaman 2' Announced

Can't Hollywood come up with any original Aquamen these days?


Kiera Stone

Aquaman 2' Announced

Oh, man, I hope water will be involved again!


Woodrow Alfaro

Trump Installs Room-Sized Golf Simulator In White House

Using personal funds, President Trump installed a $50,000 room-sized golf simulator in the White House as an upgrade of the version used by President Obama, allowing him to play virtual rounds at courses across the globe. What do you think?

I just worry he's not out making friends.


Keeleigh Cochran

I'm impressed he was able to find a way to work even more golf into his schedule.


Eric Berg

This seals it. He'll be remembered as the president who most loved golf.


Elise Reader

Bernie Sanders Announces 2020 Bid

Championing Medicare-for-all and a $15 minimum wage, Bernie Sanders announced a 2020 bid for president that will see him joining an increasingly crowded and progressive Democratic primary. What do you think?

Nice! I've been meaning to lose some friends!


Nathan Golden

Bernie Sanders Announces 2020 Bid

It's hard because I love Bernie's politics, but his political rivals say he can't win.


Humphrey Hartman

Bernie Sanders Announces 2020 Bid

I can't in good conscience support a candidate who's the frontrunner.


Brian David

Coca-Cola Releases New Orange Vanilla Flavor

After a decade without releasing a new flavor, Coca-Cola will launch an orange vanilla variety in stores this month, calling it reminiscent of the creamy orange popsicles we grew up loving, but in a classically Coke way. What do you think?

Cut to the chase: What alcohol should I pair it with?


Harold McNally

Seems like something you'll get sick of after a few dozen cases.


Cecilia Bernard

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Supreme Court After Surgery

Ruth Bader Ginsburg returned to the Supreme Court to hear oral arguments for the first time since her lung cancer surgery in late December. What do you think?

Sounds like she's out of the woods and ready to settle into another 25 years on the bench.


Jordan Nelson

The first day back at work after a long vacation is always a drag.


Marcus Harrison

Mueller Probe May End Next Week

The Justice Department is preparing for Robert Mueller to conclude and submit a report of his two-year probe of Russian meddling in the 2016 election as early as next week. What do you think?

Good. The only thing I respect more than Trump is a well-researched report.


Vickie McDonnell

Mueller Probe May End Next Week

I can't believe we'll finally know the truth behind millions of people voting on their own accord for Donald Trump.


Eric Villanueva

Mueller Probe May End Next Week

I'm crossing my fingers, but I don't think there's enough there to dissolve Russia.


Ezra Avalos

PlayStation CEO Predicts 'Post-Console' World

Sony Interactive boss Shawn Layden predicted a future in which all consoles are united as one, saying that the Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, and Xbox One all offer great experiences. What do you think?

I've predicted a similar situation to my son if he doesn't get his shit together.


John-Paul O'Sullivan

I've always felt the video game industry could benefit from becoming a monopoly.


Sadie Erikson

Imagine a future where you just put a disc on the coffee table and start to play.


Nikolas Blackwell

Pope Francis Holds Sex Abuse Summit

Gathering bishops from across the globe, Pope Francis has communed a summit to address the protection of minors in the Church from the scourge of clerical sexual abuse. What do you think?

Can't God just zap the priests when they start molesting or something?


Rizwan Stevenson

Pope Francis Holds Sex Abuse Summit

We have to be patient; not abusing children is a thorny and complex minefield.


Amina Hollis

Pope Francis Holds Sex Abuse Summit

There's no crime that can't be remedied by the accused having a big meeting and all getting on the same page about the matter.


Duane Couch

FDA Warns Of Using Young People's Blood To Prevent Aging

The Food and Drug Administration warned that there are no proven clinical benefits to infusing a young person's blood into an older individual, even as the practice has reportedly grown in popularity among some of the nation's tech entrepreneurs. What do you think?

But using their organs still works, right?


Peter Holden

That's just one Food and Drug Administration's opinion.


Melody Hubbard

Green Book' Wins Best Picture Oscar

The highest honor of the 91st Academy Awards went to Green Book, a film about a tour of the Deep South by African-American pianist Don Shirley and the Italian-American bouncer who served as Shirley's driver and bodyguard. What do you think?

I just wish my great-grandfather was alive to see how far we Italian-Americans have come.


Harry Solomon

Green Book' Wins Best Picture Oscar

Seems like all you've gotta do to win Best Picture these days is put a piano in your movie.


Michael Salgado

Green Book' Wins Best Picture Oscar

Oh, I know. According to Twitter, I'm upset about this.


Jacques Soto

Bernie Sanders Pledges To Release Ten Years Of Tax Returns

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) promised during a televised town hall to release 10 years' worth of his tax returns during his campaign for president, setting up a stark contrast between the Democratic frontrunner and President Trump. What do you think?


Peter Anthony

This is exactly the type of pandering I've been looking for in a presidential candidate.


Brodie Grimes

I'm eager to mock him for either being too poor or too rich.


Kris Davie

Brexit Could Be Delayed Until 2021

A plan to delay Brexit until 2021 is being explored by the EU's most senior officials, allowing the United Kingdom to remain as a member state as it negotiates its exit. What do you think?

You have to give them time to field offers from other continents.


Benny Wilkinson

Brexit Could Be Delayed Until 2021

Their inability to do anything on time proves they really were Europeans all along.


Isaac Lindsay

Brexit Could Be Delayed Until 2021

But I promised my kid it would happen by her birthday!


Everett Britton

Cervical Cancer Could Be Eliminated In Most Countries By 2100

Thanks to more widespread use of the human papillomavirus vaccine and increased screening rates, cervical cancer could be eliminated as a public health menace by the end of the century. What do you think?

Too bad everyone's cervixes will be underwater by then.


Miguel Briggs

Yikes, hopefully a new disease comes along to replace all the money hospitals will lose.


Elsie-Rose Dowling

Trump, Kim Meet In Hanoi Summit

Trump met with Kim Jong-un in Vietnam for a summit this week to discuss topics such as denuclearization, dropping sanctions on North Korea, and a potential end to the Korean War. What do you think?

Whatever happens, it'll be reassuring to hear that the meeting was a complete success.


Ted Paul

Trump, Kim Meet In Hanoi Summit

I wish I knew less about this man's whereabouts.


Michael Rhodes

Trump, Kim Meet In Hanoi Summit

Trump is doing a better job than any other president at talking about accomplishing things.


Krish England

Chicago Will Elect First Black Woman Mayor

The Chicago mayoral election will go to a runoff between Toni Preckwinkle and Lori Lightfoot, setting up a vote to send one of the two African-American women to the mayor's office. What do you think?

Oh, don't worry, this city's still pretty racist.


Rupert Joyner

I can't believe two people want that job.


Chad Torres

Sure, a black woman will become mayor, but only at the cost of a black woman not becoming mayor.


Matthew Ramos

Breaking Bad' Movie In The Works

A feature-length sequel to the popular TV series Breaking Bad is being planned with series star Aaron Paul reprising his role as Jesse Pinkman and series creator Vince Gilligan returning to direct. What do you think?

It'll be interesting to see how the recent legalization of meth changes things in the story.


Siobhan McDaniel

Breaking Bad' Movie In The Works

Phew, for a second there, I thought my feelings about the series would go untainted.


Effie Macfarlane

Breaking Bad' Movie In The Works

I don't have the time or patience to sit through a movie…can they stretch it out into five seasons of 10 45-minute episodes?


Mark O'Moore

Israeli Prime Minister Indicted On Charges Of Bribery, Fraud

Weeks away from a general election, Israel's attorney general announced that it intends to indict Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu on charges of bribery, fraud, and breach of trust, potentially jeopardizing his fourth term. What do you think?

Nothing a little more bribery can't solve.


Maureen Ellison

I'm probably not the first to see a reflection of America in the story, but this is exactly what happened to Van Buren in 1841.


John Ibarra

I'm always shocked when people use their positions of incredible power to enrich themselves.


Fred Wiley

Breakdancing Being Considered For 2024 Olympics

Olympic organizers in Paris have requested that breakdancing become a new competition in the summer of 2024, though the International Olympics Committee will ultimately be responsible for making a final determination. What do you think?

Absolutely, hip hop and street performance are all about conforming to a set of calculable rules.


Gage Dickerson

Yeah, breakdancing has belonged to the disenfranchised for way too long.


Lilly-Grace Pena

If the Olympics won't do it, we'll have our own breakdancing competition, right here at the mall!


Simon Neale

2020 Democratic Hopefuls Support Marijuana Legalization

Many 2020 Democratic frontrunners—including Cory Booker, Bernie Sanders, Elizabeth Warren, Kirsten Gillibrand, and Kamala Harris—have supported the Marijuana Justice Act, which seeks to make pot legal at the federal level, signaling a strong majority among Democrats for decriminalizing the substance. What do you think?

Of course they do. Why do I always have to be the bad guy with my kids?


Aria Callaghan

Pretty ballsy of these nominees to support such a politically popular stance.


Eric Gates

What a shame. I always thought that Cory was such a good boy, too.


Louisa Dyer

Methodist Church Votes To Ban Same-Sex Marriages And Clergy

In a move that has split members between traditionalist and progressive factions, the United Methodist Church worldwide conference voted this week to ban gay and lesbian clerics and the officiating of same-sex marriages, saying such inclusions defy the word of God. What do you think?

This leaves me with no choice but to remain completely unaffiliated with the United Methodist Church.


Jason Reyna

If we've seen anything, it's that it totally works to regulate clergy's sexuality.


Craig Larson

This is a great reminder that sometimes God's word can be dumb as shit.


Ben Bush

Income Inequality At Highest Point Since Before Great Depression

U.S. wealth inequality is at its worst point since the 1920s, a new study found, although some experts suggest this change is largely temporary and dependent on a current stock market bubble. What do you think?

Wow! It's like history is coming to life!


Chris Coles

When are the millionaires we elect going to start doing something about this?


Carolina Duncan

This is deeply troubling news for all the poor people who work for me.


Kevin Keller

PlayStation Vita Officially Dead

Sony officially announced that it was ending production of the PlayStation Vita, although games are still under production for the 8-year-old handheld console. What do you think?

Bless you, PS Vita...you saved me from so much eye contact with fellow bus passengers.


Scott Reyna

PlayStation Vita Officially Dead

This is devastating news to those of us who enjoyed making fun of the Vita.


Sandra Preece

PlayStation Vita Officially Dead

Wow, and on the very same day as my sister.


Federico Clifford

Senate Has Votes To Overturn Trump Emergency Declaration

In a potential rebuke to executive overreach likely to face a presidential veto, the Senate will likely vote to overturn President Trump's decision to declare an emergency in order to appropriate funds for a border wall. What do you think?

I trust legislators will find a more constitutional way to massively expand the powers of the executive branch.


Jude Hawes

It's getting to the point where a sitting president can barely subvert the Constitution.


Albi Freeman

Aw. But don't they understand that Trump really wants this and that they should just give it to him?


Kenneth Matthews

Report Finds Child Poverty Could Be Cut In Half In Just 10 Years With Significant Investment

A report from the National Academies of Sciences, Engineering and Medicine found that a yearly investment of $90 billion could cut the child poverty rate in half while adding hundreds of billions to the economy. What do you think?

I don't know. When I was a kid, no one ever gave me $90 billion.


Colin Mohammed

Should we really be focusing our attention on an issue as divisive as child poverty right now?


Amanda Whitmore

$90 billion is a lot of money to invest in something that isn't a stealth bomber.


Payton Thorne

Mario Batali Leaves Restaurant Group

Nearly a year after sexual assault and harassment allegations surfaced, Mario Batali has exited his restaurant groups and sold all shares in the Italian market Eataly. What do you think?

It will be nice to pay $60 for dry linguine with a clear conscience again.


Nikolas Galindo

Mario Batali Leaves Restaurant Group

This has been a tough year for me as an Eatalian-American.


Kaitlyn Mccann

Mario Batali Leaves Restaurant Group

I can't think of a more just punishment for that creep than getting fair market value for his substantial shares in a profitable business.


Herman White

HIV Cured In Second Patient Ever

For the second time since the epidemic began, a patient with HIV has been cured through a bone marrow transplant, a breakthrough suggesting that eliminating the virus that causes AIDS may be possible. What do you think?

I knew all my praying was doing something!


Greg Donnelly

HIV Cured In Second Patient Ever

We may just live to see a world where no one with money dies of AIDS.


Velma Hook

HIV Cured In Second Patient Ever

Liberals will stop at nothing to destroy the legacy of Ronald Reagan.


Debra Duke

NASA Plans First All-Female Spacewalk

American astronauts Anne McClain and Christina Koch from NASA will take part in the first all-female spacewalk at the International Space Station at the end of March, agency sources report. What do you think?

Hey, anyone who's put in the hard work to become an astronaut is a man in my book.


Hisham Cooke

NASA Plans First All-Female Spacewalk


Stephen James

NASA Plans First All-Female Spacewalk

I'm glad women have finally found a place where no one can harass them while they're walking.


Sandra Avery

Paul Manafort Given 47 Months In Prison

President Trump's former campaign chairman Paul Manafort was sentenced to under four years in prison on Thursday after being convicted of tax and bank fraud. What do you think?

With good behavior, he should be out in time to chair Trump's 2020 campaign!


Alex Gaines

Paul Manafort Given 47 Months In Prison

I don't like the sentencing, but, hey, in a democracy you have to be okay with the decisions made by a judge who was appointed for life by the president.


Keither Kent

Paul Manafort Given 47 Months In Prison

Let this be a lesson to other powerful white men that things will basically always be okay for them no matter what.


Zack Fuller

DNC To Avoid Primary Debates On Fox

Citing a recent New Yorker article that described the network's propagandistic coordination with the Trump White House, the Democratic National Committee elected to bar Fox News from hosting its primary debates. What do you think?

Yikes. This might have a really negative impact on the way Fox News portrays Democrats.


Sofia Richmond

DNC To Avoid Primary Debates On Fox

I can't believe they'd attack the president's network so blatantly.


Mateo Oakley

DNC To Avoid Primary Debates On Fox

Clearly, none of the candidates can handle a serious question about Benghazi.


Claude Rhodes

U.S.-Backed Forces In Syria Begin Attack On Final ISIS Encampment

U.S.-backed forces are assaulting the last ISIS-held encampment in Syria with the aims of ending territorial gains that once included one-third of Iraq and Syria. What do you think?


Victoria Cordova

Now might be a bad time to suggest this, but have they tried diplomacy?


Gareth Conroy

Nice! It feels like it's been months since we last wiped terrorism off the face of the planet.


Regan Mclellan

New York's Chrysler Building Selling At 80% Discount

A New York real estate firm is buying the iconic Chrysler Building for $150 million, a sum that is nearly 81 percent less than what it was purchased for in 2008 due to the unique challenges of operating an aging building. What do you think?

Yeah, $150 million sounds really low to me, too. For sure.


Greg Whyte

Well, buildings do lose half their value the second you start using them.


Aliesha Castro

Wow, I really dodged a bullet by not buying the Chrysler Building in 2008.


Anita Floyd

China Grounds All 737 Max 8 Planes Following Crash

After two crashes of such planes and the deaths of hundreds, China ordered the grounding of all Boeing 737 Max 8s until further inspections have been performed. What do you think?

Yeah, well, things aren't all that great down here on the ground either.


Greg Cardenas

So, what the hell am I supposed to do now? Fly a fucking Max 7?


Kareem Solis

Not crashing is one of the main features I look for in a plane.


Martin Terrell

50 Charged In College Admissions Bribing Scandal

Dozens of parents including fashion designer Mossimo Giannulli and actress Felicity Huffman have been charged with paying millions to gain admission for their children to elite institutions such as Yale University, the Justice Department revealed this week. What do you think?

That's not right. Those kids took debt away from someone who really deserves it.


Dominic Boyle

Has anyone stopped to consider that those admissions officials really needed the money?


Ernesta Hogg

I expect this kind of depravity from Felicity Huffman and Lori Loughlin, but Mossimo Giannulli?


Ria Meyers

Experts Warn There No End In Sight For Venezuela Blackouts

Amidst looting, hyperinflation, and a contested presidency, Venezuela has plunged into a near-countrywide blackout after its massive power failure. What do you think?

I know a lot of us will be hugging our appliances extra tight tonight.


Peter Pemberton

There's gotta be another sanction we can throw at them to punish them for this.


Dennis Whitley

California Halts Death Penalty

Governor Gavin Newsom announced a moratorium on capital punishment, granting a temporary reprieve to the 737 inmates on the state's death row. What do you think?

Okay, but don't ask me for help if one of those guys breaks out of prison and shows up at Newsom's house to personally thank him.


Maya Beil

California Halts Death Penalty

I'm glad people will be around longer to enjoy California's luxurious prison system.


Daryl Molloy

California Halts Death Penalty

I'm so sick of wrongly convicted people ruining our magnificent revenge.


Luciana Salinas

World Wide Web 30 Years Old

Decades after its proposal by Tim Berners-Lee, a British computer programmer working at CERN, the World Wide Web will celebrate its 30th anniversary this week. What do you think?

Mankind's innocence was lost the day we could look up the municipal recycling schedule instead of calling the library.


Elbert Graves

World Wide Web 30 Years Old

Eh, I got banned from a City Slickers chat room in 1991 and never went back.


Chris Bolton

World Wide Web 30 Years Old

Whoa, I also had a birthday this year! What a crazy coincidence!


Tony Jennings

Youth Climate Strike Takes Place In Hundreds Of Countries

Hundreds of thousands of young people will walk out of schools today to protest against inaction on climate change, following the example of Swedish teen Greta Thunberg, who held a solo protest outside of the country's parliament. What do you think?

Ah, to be young and terrified of impending doom.


Kaylen Bassett

These kids should be focusing on their education instead of acting on it.


Dylan Bell

It's never too early to experience the futility of your efforts against intractable problems.


Arnie Whiteley

Japan To Put Toyota On Moon By 2029

In partnership with the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency, Japan plans to build a six-wheeled, self-driving transporter that can carry two humans for a distance of 10,000 kilometers by 2029. What do you think?

Well, they sure as hell aren't putting my Toyota on the moon!


Anna Gonzales

Japan To Put Toyota On Moon By 2029

I guess we'll find out if an airbag can incorrectly deploy on the moon.


Owen Vargas

Japan To Put Toyota On Moon By 2029

Even JFK couldn't dream up a future where cars have six wheels.


Fredric Hirst

Officials: Clear Similarities Between Boeing 737 Max 8 Crashes

Ethiopian officials have found clear similarities between two recent crashes involving Boeing 737 Max 8s, putting pressure on manufacturer Boeing to determine what flaw in their planes might have been responsible for the tragedies. What do you think?

Two planes crash and we demonize the entire model number?


Ted McNeil

Ugh, this whole thing would have been so much more cut-and-dry had it just been terrorism.


Rhiannon Barron

I prefer my tragedies to retain an air of mystery.


Daniel Dowling

Wireless Headphones May Pose Cancer Risk, Experts Say

A group of 250 experts have signed a United Nations and World Health Organisation petition suggesting the electromagnetic (EMF) frequencies of Airpods and similar wireless headphones could cause cancer. What do you think?

Guess it's back to getting accidentally strangled with headphone cords for me.


Harry Gough

Jesus Christ, please just let me enjoy this one thing in my miserable life.


Evie Alvarez

Huh, all those hours of listening to murder podcasts and it's been me who has been dying all along!


Natasha Paine

Facebook Removes 1.5 Million Videos Of New Zealand Mass Shooting

In the first 24 hours after the attacks, Facebook removed 1.5 million videos of the recent New Zealand terror attacks, 1.2 million of which were blocked immediately at upload to reduce the act's virality. What do you think?

It's nice that they have a system in place to barely contain a situation like this.


Eric Perry

It's smart for Facebook to change people's expectations of what making the world a better place actually means.


Matthew Lister

And yet, they've done nothing to remove 'Cat High Fives Other Cat'


Derrick Blaese

Yelp-Like App Helps Trump Supporters Find MAGA-Friendly Restaurants

After a spat of patrons being ejected from restaurants for wearing MAGA hats, a new app named 63red Safe will help users find restaurants that serve patrons of all political beliefs. What do you think?

This is perfect for whenever my family comes to visit.


Izaak Blake

But what about all of us who are banned from restaurants in general?


Scarlette White

Can it recommend a really good barbecue place with nothing worse than verbal abuse?


Alice Welch

Beto O'Rourke Smashes Records With $6.1 Million In Fundraising

Democratic hopeful Beto O'Rourke raised a record-breaking $6.1 million in the first day of his 2020 run, his campaign announced this week. What do you think?

Beto will undoubtedly go down in history as a man who raised a lot of money.


Javier Sandoval

I did my part and chipped in $5.8 million.


Henry Hawkins

Oh, my God. I didn't even know he was sick.


Agatha Bloom

One Million Pounds Of Pork Seized At New Jersey Port

Federal agents seized 1 million pounds of pork products at a New Jersey port in the largest agricultural bust in U.S. history. What do you think?

And they claim we don't have Sharia law in this country.


Joseph Wickens

Just imagine how much damage all that pork could have done to our communities had it reached the streets.


Leo Greaves

Ah, yes, I read about this on the pork forums.


Greg Bailey

Trump Backs Release Of Mueller Report

While fielding questions from journalists, President Trump stated that he looks forward to the release of the investigation into the 2016 election, saying, Let it come out. Let people see it—that's up to the attorney general. What do you think?

Now does that sound like a man who's guilty but untouchable by law?


Aisha Harrell

Trump Backs Release Of Mueller Report


Brett Rich

Trump Backs Release Of Mueller Report

Of course. Who can resist reading about themselves?


Piers Field

Arctic Locked In To Warm 9 Degrees By End Of Century

A United Nations report revealed that even if carbon pollution stopped tomorrow, the region's winters would warm by 9 degrees Fahrenheit by 2100. What do you think?


Benjamin Schmitt

Wow, thank God I don't live in the Arctic.


Jessica Reid

That's bad news for whichever planet the Arctic is located on.


Henry Williams

Woodstock 50 Announces Lineup

The 50th anniversary concert of Woodstock announced its lineup this week, including headliners The Killers, Dead & Company, and Jay-Z as taking part in a commemoration of the historic '60s concert. What do you think?

Whatever it takes to finally bring our boys home from Vietnam.


Jamie Kramer

Woodstock 50 Announces Lineup

Shoot, that's the weekend I'm becoming too old to go to concerts anymore.


Sarah Frost

Woodstock 50 Announces Lineup

Sorry, but it won't work. There's just no way to capture the magic of the 25th anniversary show.


Alfie-James Mendez

Myspace Loses All Content From Before 2016

Due to an alleged server error, social network Myspace has lost millions of photos, videos, and songs published on the website before 2016. What do you think?

Finally, a tech company that does something useful.


Harry Barrow

That's several hours of ska music we will never get back.


Sarah Avila

I think it's healthy for any social media user to go back and delete everything from before 2016 regardless.


Octavia Hardy

Mueller Finds No Evidence Of Trump–Russia Conspiracy, Attorney General Says

While stopping short of a full exoneration, Robert Mueller's investigation found no evidence of collusion between the president and Russia in the 2016 election, according to a summary from Attorney General William Barr. What do you think?

Mueller must feel pretty stupid after only convicting Trump's former lawyer, campaign advisor, national security adviser, and other business associates.


Henry Markham

I'm disappointed, but I hope Trump and Putin find another project to work on together.


James Espinosa

Whatever, the liberals will still try to claim the other crimes count.


Christopher Woodcock

Google Announces Gaming Platform Called Stadia

Google has announced Stadia, a gaming platform and controller that they claim will provide better-than-console quality graphics to web browsers through high-quality streaming. What do you think?

Whatever lets Google gather more data on me has gotta be great.


Otis Mccoy

I'm skeptical, but then I also doubted that Google Wave would ever catch on.


Rebecca Macdonald

I can't believe a simple glasses company will revolutionize gaming.


Lily-Mae Walters

Michael Avenatti Arrested For Attempted Extortion Of Nike For $20 Million

Michael Avenatti, former attorney for adult film star Stormy Daniels, was accused this week of a $20 million extortion scheme against Nike. What do you think?

He should've gone after a weaker brand like Reebok.


AJ Grant

What kind of psycho tries to extort companies before taking office?


Lainey Adam

If this guy is trying to get my vote in the 2020 presidential election, it's working.


Conor Howell

Finland World's Happiest Country In 2019

According to the 2019 World Happiness Report, Finland ranks as the happiest country in 2019, while the United States comes in at 19th and South Sudan ranks last. What do you think?

Fine, but which country has the most prisoners?


Aiden Jaramillo

Huh. Maybe if we invade them we could get some of their happiness?


Gretchen McArthur

I'm too nervous to check Latvia's ranking this year—just tell me! No, wait, don't! Ahhh!


Hugh Spence

Apple Unveils Video Streaming Service

At an event at its Silicon Valley headquarters, Apple unveiled an expansive video streaming service including original programming created by Oprah Winfrey, Steven Spielberg, J.J. Abrams, and other notable filmmakers. What do you think?

I've also given up on creating groundbreaking new technologies.


Dean Ortega

Apple Unveils Video Streaming Service

Wow, I can't believe they got the legendary director of The Sugarland Express.


Ray Bourne

Apple Unveils Video Streaming Service

This is great news for fans of whatever apps come preinstalled on their iPhone.


Allison Mercer

China Bans All Types Of Fentanyl

Fulfilling a pledge to President Trump, China has banned all versions of fentanyl, the powerful synthetic opioid that it has long allowed to be exported to America. What do you think?

It's best to keep our epidemic local, anyway.


Devin Wright

China Bans All Types Of Fentanyl

This will return so many jobs to American drug rings.


Youssef McGowan

China Bans All Types Of Fentanyl

Then I guess I'm just going to have to savor this high.


Evan Hills

White House Reversing Security Clearance Denials

According to a whistleblower, the White House has reversed more than 25 denials of security clearances, often ignoring the recommendations of intelligence officials to confirm individuals such as Jared Kushner. What do you think?

The president's job is to keep our country safe, and if he has to endanger national security to do it, fine by me.


Theodora Boyd

So now people are mad at the White House for being too welcoming?


William Villegas

And yet they still haven't gotten back to me about my Area 51 day pass.


Cameron Hulme

New Trump Proposal Could Strip 750,000 Of Food Stamps

Under a new federal work requirement rule proposed by the White House, over 750,000 could lose access to food stamps due to personal or systemic barriers preventing access to work. What do you think?

It's about time those freeloaders stopped ripping us off for minimal sustenance.


Keanu Bridges

Good. Nothing makes me angrier than seeing a poor person eat.


Tanya West

Michelle Obama never would have thought of a bold plan like this to combat the country's obesity.


Rihanna Acosta

Avocados May Run Out If U.S.–Mexico Border Closed

In addition to disrupting dozens of other industries, closing the U.S.–Mexico border could deprive the U.S. of avocados within three weeks, fruit distributors have suggested. What do you think?

Hopefully, this just means more jobs for patriotic American fruits.


Isaac Beattie

Then I'll just buy the premade guac. Big deal.


Johnny Finney

A small price to pay for permanently ruining local economies.


Jillian Gould

Trump Pushes Health Care Reform Until After 2020

After being spurned by Republicans in Congress, President Trump signaled a retreat by announcing he would not consider dismantling and replacing the Affordable Care Act until after the 2020 election. What do you think?

But that's in two years! Isn't there some way they could take away my healthcare sooner?


Caine Donovan

I guess we have no choice but to reelect him just to find out what his plan is.


Levison Kemp

Makes sense. It's considered an election-season blunder to kill a large part of the electorate.


Mandy Ray

Japan Announces Name Of New Era

As per tradition, Japan announced the name of their new era—Reiwa, roughly meaning good fortune—to coincide with the ascension of Crown Prince Naruhito to the imperial throne. What do you think?

Won't this name interfere with the Crown Prince's plans to lead Japan into an era of pestilence and misfortune?


Greg Chester

Japan Announces Name Of New Era

I know I always say this, but I have a feeling this is going to be my era.


Harry McCulloch

Japan Announces Name Of New Era

I don't care what they name it; it'll always be the Sears Tower to me.


Harry Wall

The Last Of Us 2' To Be Released In 2019

The Last Of Us 2, the highly-anticipated sequel to the original blockbuster survival game, will be released this year, according to a new online store update from Sony. What do you think?

If this means more of the emotionally complex storytelling of whichever zombie survival series this was again, count me in.


Cherry Tate

Sorry, I'm not interested in video games that don't feature Koopalings.


Patrick Bowler

But I want it now! Work your employees harder!


Cara Kidd

House Democrats Formally Request Trump's Tax Returns

Democratic Rep. Richard Neal (D-MA) formally requested six years of Trump's personal tax returns, citing the need to conduct oversight of the IRS, including its policy of auditing the tax returns of sitting presidents. What do you think?

Hopefully, Americans finally get some real answers to the question of whether the president itemizes or just takes the standard deduction.


Alex Thomson

Perhaps someone from the Justice Department could just provide a summary.


Wallace Key

After all this waiting, it's great to finally see a legal battle sparked that will consume the next couple of years.


Harvie Sexton

Trump Expected To Name Herman Cain To Fed Board

President Trump told confidantes that he hopes to place Herman Cain on the Federal Reserve Board, elevating the failed 2012 GOP hopeful and former Godfather's Pizza CEO to the Fed, but will wait until his background check is completed. What do you think?

I just hope this doesn't make Herman Cain into some sort of laughingstock.


Trevor Wells

In a job like that, it can't hurt to know a thing or two about pizza.


Chanelle Kelly

I was just thinking he hasn't proven he's not racist in a while.


Marina Stott

E-Cigarette Users Reporting Having Seizures To FDA

The Food and Drug Administration has made a special announcement noting dozens of e-cigarette users having seizures connected to their use of the devices. What do you think?

On the plus side, it's much harder to smoke cigarettes when you're actively seizing.


Chase Quintero

That's why I drink my vape juice straight from the bottle.


Edison Ashton

Exactly which vapes do this to you and how much extra do they cost?


Harlee Stephens

Cats Can Recognize Their Own Names, Study Finds

Researchers have found that felines can pick out their own names in a string of words, adding them to the list of other animals, including dogs, dolphins, and parrots that can understand human vocalization. What do you think?

I'm glad the effort I spent coming up with Pawker Purrsey wasn't wasted.


Tyson Alvarado

Yeah, that's why my family always spells our cat's name out when we're talking behind his back.


Musab Grainger

It's about time people started to realize that parrots aren't that goddamn special.


Lyla David

Methane Found On Mars

The European Space Agency's Mars Express rover found that methane on the red planet could be traced to the planet's Gale Crater, suggesting a spot astronauts could eventually explore to find water and underground canals. What do you think?

I'm glad future generations will know that Mars was already a polluted hellhole before we got there.


Eliott Bowen

Methane Found On Mars

That's great, but now I'm really craving some methane.


Victor Traynor

Methane Found On Mars