Harris Norton

New York City Declares Emergency Over Measles Outbreak

New York City mayor Bill de Blasio declared a public health emergency in a heavily Orthodox Jewish section of Brooklyn after dozens were hospitalized due to a lack of vaccinations. What do you think?

It's been a confusing day for my anti-Semitic, anti-vax Facebook group.


Zavier Slater

This sounds like a lot of fuss over a disease that's only potentially deadly.


Travis Meadows

UN Unveils Design For Floating City For 10,000 People

Utilizing a design made from hexagonal floating platforms, a consortium from the United Nations unveiled a design that they say could solve problems related to climate change by housing up to 10,000 residents while providing autonomous fresh water, shelter, and heat. What do you think?

And the poor can probably make their own islands out of garbage or something.


Lacie Navarro

I guess it makes sense that floating hexagonal cities are now the most realistic method we have of fighting climate change.


Kevin Huber

Finally, a viable living solution for all 10,000 of us.


Ned Decker

Burger King Releases Meatless 'Impossible Whopper'

In an effort to attract vegetarian customers, Burger King is now selling a meatless Whopper at many of their franchises using the soy-based Impossible Burger. What do you think?

They must have received my feedback about the regular Whopper tasting too much like meat.


Ruth Rankin

I'm skeptical that a meatless burger can truly replicate the self-loathing and disgust I expect when biting into a Whopper.


Andrew Conway

What a heartwarming and research-driven gesture of goodwill towards vegetarians.


Jamaal Adam

First Image Of Black Hole Released

Scientists from the Event Horizon Telescope Collaboration released the first-ever image of a black hole in a galaxy known as M87, showing the long-theorized superdense feature of spacetime by harnessing the power of eight radio telescopes around the world. What do you think?

This generation and their obsession with taking pictures. Why can't they just appreciate nature for once?


Marley Graham

First Image Of Black Hole Released


Evie-Rose Callaghan

First Image Of Black Hole Released

How can we be sure this is a black hole and not some sort of superdense void of another kind?


Ellis Stafford

Mueller Report To Be Released Next Week, AG Says

Attorney General William Barr revealed that Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report on Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election will be released next week, saying the process of redacting sensitive or confidential information has been progressing smoothly. What do you think?

Shit, I've got a bunch of other government reports I need to finish before I start this one.


Stephen Yoder

That's no fun, I thought this part would be stretched out for at least a couple more months.


Alice Regan

I hope Barr's redactions to protect classified information still preserve Mueller's flowing, lyrical prose style.


Marion Stanley

Julian Assange Arrested In London

WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange was arrested Thursday for charges related to his role leaking U.S. secrets in 2010. What do you think?

That'll teach him a lesson about leaking secrets without the president publicly asking.


Blake Hendricks

Julian Assange Arrested In London

It's easy to forget now, but in 2010, this country wasn't the transparent force for good that it is today.


Nikhil Hassan

Julian Assange Arrested In London

This just goes to show that there are some things man was legally never meant to know.


Carter Snyder

Trump Considering Releasing Detainees In Sanctuary Cities

President Trump revealed his administration is giving strong considerations to a plan to release migrants into so-called sanctuary cities. What do you think?

Ha! That'll show those liberals somehow.


Milena Childs

This looks like the work of that incorrigible rapscallion Stephen Miller!


James Garcia

Good for him for coming up with a policy all by himself!


Brandy Holmes

Star Wars IX' Trailer Released

Lucasfilm has released the first trailer for the ninth chapter in the Star Wars saga, which confirms that it will be subtitled The Rise Of Skywalker. What do you think?

Just to clarify, is this being released on Earth Christmas or Tatooine Christmas?


Malachi Christie

Star Wars IX' Trailer Released

How come every movie these days is the kind of predictable franchise blockbuster I invariably pay to see?


Harper Armstrong

Star Wars IX' Trailer Released

Alright, Lucasfilm, you've got two minutes to convince me to see a Star Wars movie.


Sherri Nelson

Tiger Woods Wins 5th Masters Title

Ending an 11-year-long championship drought, Tiger Woods won his fifth Masters title this past weekend in an emotional comeback after years of personal hardship and injury. What do you think?

The only thing that could make this redemption story better is another harrowing fall from grace!


Shawn Cairns

Tiger Woods Wins 5th Masters Title

It's an emotional victory for adulterers everywhere.


Craig Whiteley

Tiger Woods Wins 5th Masters Title

This is the kind of excitement people become golf fans to avoid.


Lloyd Wilkinson

Sony Reveals First PlayStation 5 Details

In a recent Wired article, Sony representatives revealed their next console will feature split-second loading times, backwards compatibility, and processing power enhanced by ray tracing, a technique that realistically models how light travels. What do you think?

But I bought my PS4 Pro with the implicit understanding that was as good as it was ever going to get!


Adaline Baird

All that technology and yet they still require users to manually beat the games.


Boris Martinez

It better not have the thing where sometimes your character gets stuck in walls because I hate that.


Harlow Charlton

Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Premieres

This Sunday, viewers flocked to the blockbuster season premiere of Game Of Thrones to see the fates of their favorite characters and who will finally take the Iron Throne. What do you think?

This show has hit a little too close to home for me ever since my entire family was murdered by our ancestral rivals.


Jessie Colon

Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Premieres

So the fan theory that the show was coming back was right all along!


Sarah Schultz

Game Of Thrones' Season 8 Premieres

Shh! Don't say anything, I'm sick of hearing about it.


Lorenzo Lester

Mayor Pete' Buttigieg Joins 2020 Race

Pete Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, IN who has experienced a rapid rise in prominence in recent months, announced his official entry to the 2020 race this weekend, portraying himself as a force of generational change despite criticisms of his youth and inexperience. What do you think?

It's time for aging quadragenarian relics like Beto O'Rourke to get out of the way and let the next generation have a chance.


Chantelle Charles

Mayor Pete' Buttigieg Joins 2020 Race

There's got to be an easier way for him to get out of South Bend than this.


Ted Jenkins

Mayor Pete' Buttigieg Joins 2020 Race

I'm sorry, but he just seems way too young to be from Indiana.


Katherine Crane

Beyoncé Releases Surprise Live Album

Days after the one-year anniversary of her Coachella set, Beyoncé has released Homecoming: The Live Album, an hour-and-a-half document of the critically acclaimed 2018 performance spanning tracks from her career. What do you think?

Who cares? I have the whole concert recorded on my cell phone.


Ari O'Connell

Beyoncé Releases Surprise Live Album

I'm smart enough to know I can only issue a positive response to this news.


Brett Ellwood

Beyoncé Releases Surprise Live Album

I'm so tired. Beyoncé, please, have mercy. I am so tired.


Sierra Buxton

French President Pledges To Rebuild Notre Dame In 5 Years

Following the dramatic fire that consumed Notre Dame's iconic spire, French president Emmanuel Macron pledged to rebuild Notre Dame even more beautifully in five years. What do you think?

So where the fuck am I supposed to worship God in the meantime?


Brad Estes

Isn't it kind of risky to assume people will still be interested in timeless works of architecture five years from now?


Kevin Gallegos

Only five years? That'll show those medieval hacks.


Maisey Bannister

Mueller Report Released

After weeks of redactions from William Barr, Special Counsel Robert Mueller's report on Russian interference in the 2016 election was released by the Justice Department on Thursday morning. What do you think?

Ugh, 448 pages? Is there a more redacted version available?


Maxim Burns

Mueller Report Released

I lost interest after Trump kept committing the same crimes over and over again.


Ida Camacho

Mueller Report Released

At least our long national nightmare is finally on to its next phase.


Sana Lloyd

84% Support Marijuana Legalization

A recent poll found 84% of Americans support marijuana legalization in some form, with 42% of respondents saying that weed should be legal for any use and only 13% favoring prosecution for users or distributors. What do you think?

This is the sort of peer pressure they warned me about!


Niall Ingram

84% Support Marijuana Legalization

Now all we need is some kind of political system that translates broad popular support into laws.


Jarod Cross

84% Support Marijuana Legalization

But how would they know that they would even like marijuana if it's illegal for them to use it right now?


Evan Moran

Senate Considering Bill To Raise Smoking Age To 21

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced plans to introduce new legislation raising the federal minimum age to buy tobacco products, such as cigarettes and vaping devices, from 18 to 21. What do you think?

Damn it, I already have too many kids to buy cigarettes for as it is.


Taylor Harrington

Mitch really knows a thing or two about how to woo younger voters.


Stephen Henry

Oh well, if 18-year-olds want to be cool there's always rollerblading.


Shawn Benitez

Baby T. Rex Fossil Selling On eBay

The fossil of an infant Tyrannosaurus rex—likely the only one in existence—has gone on sale for $2.95 million on eBay, drawing fierce criticism from paleontologists for preventing research on a rare and important artifact. What do you think?

Oh, paleontologists get mad no matter what website you sell your dinosaur bones on.


Ann Rollins

Baby T. Rex Fossil Selling On eBay

The trick is to wait until the last minute so you only have to pay $2.98 million.


Gregory Clements

Baby T. Rex Fossil Selling On eBay

You'll have to talk to my husband; he handles our rare fossil purchases.


Shaunna Allan

Trump Sues House Democrat To Block Release Of Tax Returns

President Trump sued Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-MD) to stop subpoenas for the president's tax returns, saying the House Oversight and Reform chairman has overstepped constitutional limits on Congress's power to investigate. What do you think?

Ah, the intricate, graceful dance of checks and balances continues.


Myke Mann

It's okay, Mr. President, a lot of us play fast and loose with that home office deduction.


Arik Mcmillan

Sweet! As long as this fight keeps the IRS busy, no one has to pay taxes!


Daniel Findlay

Democrats Call For Trump Impeachment

In the wake of the Mueller report's release, 2020 candidates including Pete Buttigieg, Kamala Harris, and Elizabeth Warren have urged Congress to pursue impeachment proceedings against the president. What do you think?

We all say crazy things when we get swept up in the frenzy of a CNN town hall.


Gregory Floyd

Democrats Call For Trump Impeachment

This is America! You don't get rid of someone just because they're totally unfit for their job.


Leena Hook

Democrats Call For Trump Impeachment

Wouldn't it be better to wait to focus on impeachment until after they've retaken the White House?


Chad Hastings

Herman Cain Withdraws From Fed Consideration

Amid a resumed interest in several past scandals, former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain has withdrawn from consideration for a seat on the Federal Reserve Board. What do you think?

I'm sure they can find something else for him. Secretary of Defense is still open, right?


Perry Munro

Someone who would back down in the face of harassment allegations is clearly not qualified to serve in this administration.


Craig Mason

FDA Approves First Device To Treat ADHD In Children

The U.S. Food and Drug Administration approved a device that delivers mild shocks to the brains of children between 7 and 12 years old in order to treat their ADHD. What do you think?

Sure. If I'm gonna electrocute my kid, I guess it might as well be to treat something.


Harold Rosales

We've made such incredible advances in child abuse.


Mark Benjamin

Samsung Recalls All Galaxy Fold Phones After Cracked Screens

Samsung is recalling all models of their new foldable phone after reports of breaks, bulges, and inoperational screens. What do you think?

It'll work fine as long as you don't use the main selling point of the phone.


Phoebe Harvey

So not only did Samsung screw up the coolest phone in years, but now they won't even let me buy one?


Jared Moore

That's odd, what do they want with a bunch of cracked phones?


Natasha Swan

FAA Gives Google Approval For Delivery Drone Flights

The Federal Aviation Administration has certified Alphabet's Wing Aviation delivery service to operate as an airline, clearing the company to begin delivering goods to households in a way representatives believe will save resources and reduce pollution. What do you think?


Jason Neal

If this just got approved, then who flew over and dropped a three-pack of body wash on my lawn?


Dylan Blankenship

Fine with me. I haven't been using the sky for anything.


Barry Zeveloff

Measles Roars Back At Record Pace

Owing to a lack of vaccinations and a rise in misinformation, the nationwide measles outbreak has soared to include 695 reported cases this year, the highest rate since the disease was declared eliminated in 2000. What do you think?

Things just never come roaring back in a good way anymore.


Kelsey Bird

Measles Roars Back At Record Pace

It must be such an exciting time to be a once-eradicated disease!


Tyler Hogg

Measles Roars Back At Record Pace

Who knew something as harmless as willful ignorance could end up having real consequences?


Eric Swift

Melting Permafrost To Have $70 Trillion Impact, Study Finds

Without greater action to prevent global warming, melting arctic permafrost could cause $70 trillion in economic damages between now and 2300, according to a study published in Nature Communications. What do you think?

I thought the whole reason we named it permafrost was to make sure it never melted.


Zaine Sloan

Thankfully, 'damage' really doesn't sound as bad when you put 'economic' in front of it.


Joanna Pope

Christ, the permafrost is never going to turn a profit, is it?


Yaniv Rotenberg

Avengers: Endgame' Shatters Box Office Records

Analysis suggests that Avengers: Endgame, the action-packed culmination of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, may rake in as much as $1 billion in box office sales after a record-breaking opening weekend. What do you think?

Big bummer for the makers of Avengers: Infinity War.


Erica Dickerson

Imagine the embarrassment had it only made $900 million.


Laurel Povey

People will watch Brian Schaeffer in anything.


Ted Doherty

Taylor Swift Debuts New Single

Pop star Taylor Swift debuted ME! a new duet with Brendon Urie from Panic! At the Disco likely to tease an upcoming album. What do you think?

Isn't she getting a little old to be so into Taylor Swift?


Philip Brewer

Taylor Swift Debuts New Single

Still not as good as the national anthem, but it was a worthy challenger.


Evan Bain

Taylor Swift Debuts New Single

Hope it's not an empowering one, I've been too powered lately.


Craig Peters

ISIS Releases Video Of Leader Al-Baghdadi

The Islamic State released a video message purporting to come from its leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, in what would be his first appearance in five years. What do you think?

If Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi won't give up on his dreams, then what excuse do I have?


Briana Page

He may be a monster, but you have to admire his restraint in staying off social media that long.


Ted Hurst

We've said we've wiped out ISIS before—we can say it again.


Harvey Morgan

Spotify Reaches 100 Million Paying Subscribers

Streaming service Spotify announced that it had reached 100 million paying subscribers in a landmark for the music streaming service. What do you think?

This is great news for the five or six artists who make any money through Spotify.


Amina Walsh

Coup Underway In Venezuela

A day of street protests and skirmishes is underway after Venezuelan opposition leader and National Assembly leader Juan Guaidó announced an uprising in the country's capital. What do you think?


Greg McMahon

Coup Underway In Venezuela

Okay, I'll try to steer clear of Venezuela on my commute.


Tad Carlson

Coup Underway In Venezuela

Oh, wow, one ruinous collapse into corruption and poverty, and everyone's in the streets.


Caitlyn Phelps

Trump And Democrats Agree On $2 Trillion Infrastructure Deal

Congressional Democrats indicated they had come to an informal agreement with President Trump to update the nation's bridges, roads, trains, and broadband, although how such a deal will be paid for has yet to be negotiated. What do you think?

If they're already at the informal agreement phase, it should just be a matter of decades before this plan turns into a reality!


Zack Moran

What a waste. Most bridges in this country haven't even collapsed yet.


Kirk McIntyre

There'll be plenty of time to iron out the details between now and when this dies in the Senate.


Craig Orozco

Mueller Took Issue With Barr Letter

Robert Mueller reportedly wrote a letter in early April complaining that Attorney General William Barr's four-page memo to Congress did not fully capture the context, nature, and substance of the special investigation into Russian election interference. What do you think?

If Mueller had objections, he should have gone through the correct channels to bury them forever.


Brad Lambert

Mueller Took Issue With Barr Letter

Our democracy will always be safe as long as officials can still politely express their principled misgivings.


Melissa Lewis

Mueller Took Issue With Barr Letter

I haven't been this enthralled by a letter since Mr. Darcy admitted to trying to disrupt Bingley's romance with Jane.


Roger Austin

Halima Aden Becomes First Sports Illustrated Model To Wear Burkini

Muslim supermodel Halima Aden has made history by becoming the first model to wear a hijab and burkini in the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue. What do you think?

Whoa-ho-ho! This is MY kind of devotion to the perfect will of Allah and his blessed prophet Muhammad!


Bobbie Lyon

I think it's a good message that there's a place for Muslims in all of our stupidest stuff.


Allegra Schmidt

It's wonderful that the great sport of swimsuit-wearing is so inclusive.


Homer Blundell

Obamas Announce Slate Of Netflix Shows

Michelle and Barack Obama have announced a slate of six Netflix shows, including a Frederick Douglass biopic, a drama set in the fashion world of post-WWII New York, and a half-hour family show called Listen To Your Vegetables And Eat Your Parents. What do you think?

Thank god, I could really use an escape from politics these days.


Martyn Ratliff

Obamas Announce Slate Of Netflix Shows

It's troubling to see an ex-president raking in millions in the entertainment industry instead of in the corporate speech circuit.


Alicia Barrera

Obamas Announce Slate Of Netflix Shows

I look forward to mindlessly scrolling past them in a perpetual state of indecision.


Alain Dennis

Christians Most Persecuted Religious Group Worldwide, Report Finds

A report commissioned by the British government found that Christians represented over 80% of those persecuted for religious beliefs worldwide, stressing their treatment in the Middle East approached near-genocide levels. What do you think?

Things are pretty good in Wisconsin right now, but I'll continue to be vigilant.


Yvonne Reyna

Wow, I've claimed this for years, but I never actually thought it was true.


Craig Kane

And it's even worse in countries like the U.S. where we're a vast majority!


Dean Logan

Kanye West Anthology Series In Works Starring Jaden Smith

In one of his first forays into television, Kanye West will produce a half-hour anthology series that focuses on perception, with the first season exploring the concept of the ego through an alternate-universe Kanye West. What do you think?

This is a bold step toward West's ultimate vision of a universe where everyone is Kanye West.


Konnor Finley

Darn, I was hoping he would do a remake of Wings.


Leonard O'Moore

Is this to sell more sneakers or to stop having to sell sneakers?


Kyle Weaver

Scientists Find Cocaine In Shrimp

Researchers at King's College London have found trace amounts of cocaine and ketamine in shrimp tested in locations across England, pointing to the widespread menace of invisible chemicals, such as drugs, entering the water supply. What do you think?

Terrible to have something so pure and natural get ruined by shrimp.


Grant Diaz

Scientists Find Cocaine In Shrimp

I've done way worse things for a trace amount of cocaine than eat shrimp.


Alyssa Burke

Scientists Find Cocaine In Shrimp

This is the only way to make authentic scampi. I guarantee!


Kevin Rowley

Royal Baby Born

Meghan Markle, the Duchess of Sussex, has given birth to a baby boy, her first child with Prince Harry and a child who will be seventh in line to the throne. What do you think?

But he's actually more of a figurehead than a real baby.


Joe Maynard

Royal Baby Born

My warmest congratulations to The Daily Mail on all the clicks.


Malika Thorne

Royal Baby Born

Just as the sow that gave blood instead of milk and other auguries foretold!


Mikail Frye

Denver Votes On Decriminalizing Magic Mushrooms

Amidst a growing consensus on legal marijuana, Denver voters will decide this week whether to decriminalize magic mushrooms, the hallucinogen that has been outlawed since 1970. What do you think?

Sure, why not? They're already going to hell anyway.


Evan Spence

As long as Denver's in a safe place with people they trust, I'm all for it.


Emily Langley

Yeah, but how am I supposed to vote when you and I don't even fucking exist? Answer me that.


Joshua Dunlop

One Million Species Could Go Extinct Because Of Humans

An IPCC report found that humanity's destruction of the planet threatens to cause the extinction of more than 40% of amphibians, 33% of coral reefs, and over a third of all marine mammals. What do you think?


Brendan Fuentes

So then we just get evolution to whip up some new ones. What's the problem?


Eve Schaefer

I pray for my grandchildren who may never know the taste of manatee meat.


Greg McNeill

Disney Delays 'Avatar 2' Until 2021

James Cameron's long-awaited follow-up to Avatar has seen its release date pushed back by a year until December 17, 2021. What do you think?

I hope it has cameos by some of the surviving Na'vi actors.


Lynsey Bellamy

Disney Delays 'Avatar 2' Until 2021

So, what am I supposed to do if I want to see a heavily focus-grouped CGI-dependent blockbuster before then?


Karen Dawe

Disney Delays 'Avatar 2' Until 2021

I'd forgotten this was coming or the first one existed to begin with.


Sakina Orr

Trump Asserts Executive Privilege Over Mueller Report

For the first time in his presidency, Donald Trump asserted executive privilege to prevent the release of redacted portions of Robert S. Mueller III's report and other evidence from his investigation. What do you think?

He's just being modest about how little he has to hide.


Nate Winter

You've got to give it to him, the guy knows how to obstruct justice.


Duncan Nichols

Insane. First, they demand a copy of the report, and now they want to read it?


Bianca Pollard

Trump Taxes Show He Lost $1 Billion Over Decade

A recent investigation into the president's taxes found that his businesses lost over $1 billion from 1985 to 1995, suggesting he lost more money in those years than nearly any other U.S. taxpayer. What do you think?

Well, that's just one billion little lessons learned, isn't it?


Jimi Gaines

Yet he still managed to make millions of dollars doing it. Incredible.


Brett Castro

And here we had this heroic image of a man who inherited everything, but at least held on to a little.


Leslie Figueroa

Facebook Cofounder Calls For Breaking Up Social Media Giant

In a lengthy and impassioned editorial, Facebook cofounder Chris Hughes pressed for the U.S. government to regulate the social media giant in order to combat its monopolistic stranglehold on internet communication and lack of accountability. What do you think?

Very smart. Maybe people wouldn't hate Facebook as much if there were a bunch more of them.


Antoni Carter

But having power concentrated in a single company is just so convenient.


Sarah Velasquez

Pelosi Declares Nation In 'Constitutional Crisis'

After the Trump administration's failure to comply with congressional requests, Speaker Nancy Pelosi warned that the United States was in a constitutional crisis and stressed that House Democrats might move to hold officials beyond William Barr in contempt of Congress. What do you think?

It seems a little dramatic to assume we still adhere to the Constitution.


Ritchie Horn

She's gonna need to put a little more effort into her pitch if she wants this to be the horror I focus my attention on today.


Cole Bravo

Next Measles Outbreak Most Likely To Hit Chicago, Los Angeles, Miami

Researchers at the University of Texas at Austin published a study predicting Chicago, Los Angeles, or Miami will most likely suffer the next measles outbreak due to lack of proper vaccinations. What do you think?

But if you want the best measles, you gotta go to New York.


Laura Spears

I'm not much for conspiracy theories, but that does seem awfully similar to the BTS tour schedule.


Magnus Foreman

Thanks for letting me know. I'll increase my essential oil routine.


Isobel Clayton

Papal Decree Holds Bishops Accountable For Sexual Abuse

Pope Francis announced a decree requiring priests and nuns to report incidents of abuse or cover-ups to church authorities, saying the crimes of sexual abuse offend Our Lord […] and harm the community of the faithful. What do you think?

Finally, a pope who won't stand for anything less than opaque and fully internal accountability.


Shelbie Westford

Big, sweeping changes aren't going to happen overnight. You'd need absolute, universal authority over the Catholic Church for something like that.


Gregor Brock

Shouldn't we at least give denial and obfuscation another decade to see if that solves the problem?


Myron Benson

Dow Plunges As China–U.S. Trade War Escalates

Wall Street suffered one of its worst days of 2019 after China raised tariffs on $60 billion worth of U.S. goods after President Trump followed through on threats to do so on $200 billion worth of Chinese goods. What do you think?

I guess the U.S. will just have to find a different world's largest consumer market to do business with.


Sasha Haigh

Aw, why couldn't we just have a regular war?


Elisha May

Once Trump voters start feeling the pinch, they'll have no choice but to vote for him again.


Grady Whitworth

New Tamagotchi Can Have Children And Marry

Bandai America announced a revamped version of the Tamagotchi, updating the '90s toy to give the electronic creatures the ability to breed and marry one another through a wireless connection. What do you think?

Cool! I'm not jealous at all. I'm happy for it.


Harry Blevins

If we allow Tamagotchi to marry, what's next? A Tamagotchi marrying a dog?


Abdullahi Peacock

It seems like everyone's settling down with whomever's in wireless range except me.


Jethro Marks

Alabama Effectively Bans Abortion

The Alabama Senate approved a law effectively banning abortions without exception, setting up a fight that could decide the fate of Roe v. Wade. What do you think?

I'm just amazed Alabama found a new way to regress.


Grover Jarvis

Alabama Effectively Bans Abortion

Hey, if a couple has sex, one of them must deal with the consequences.


Tasha Findlay

Alabama Effectively Bans Abortion

This is horrifying! No woman should be forced to carry a child conceived in Alabama.


Tasha Grainger

Wikipedia Blocked In China

Internet researchers found that community-edited encyclopedia Wikipedia has been blocked in China, joining thousands of other websites that have been censored by the country's Communist Party. What do you think?

This could dangerously compromise Chinese citizens' dicking around time.


Alex Zamora

Wikipedia Blocked In China

This is outrageous. 'List of Stargate Atlantis Characters' is a basic human right.


Mark Dunne

Wikipedia Blocked In China

China will regret this next time it has a paper on agriculture in the Yangtze River due in the morning.


Gertrude Wallace

Arizona Legalizes Nunchucks

Arizona Governor Doug Ducey signed a bill this week removing nunchucks from a list of prohibited weapons that includes bombs, gun silencers, and automatic firearms, saying they pose less of a threat than a baseball bat. What do you think?

Please don't. My son has enough socially isolating hobbies as it is.


Remi Hardin

Arizona Legalizes Nunchucks

The only thing that stops a dishonorable shinobi with nunchucks is an honorable shinobi with nunchucks.


Steven Valenzuela

Arizona Legalizes Nunchucks

So, this is what it feels like to win a historic civil rights victory.


Floyd O'Neill

Michael Wolff Finishes Sequel To 'Fire And Fury'

Author Michael Wolff has finished another document of the current White House administration titled Siege: Trump Under Fire, promising an equally essential and explosive account as its predecessor, Fire And Fury. What do you think?

Great, I've still got, like, 30 minutes a day when I'm not reading about Donald Trump available.


Eric Simms

I wonder which president this one's going to be about!


Milana Allen

I'll pass. I hated all the characters in the first book.


Krista Donovan

Inslee Releases $9 Trillion Climate Plan

Jay Inslee, the governor of Washington and a 2020 Democratic presidential candidate, rolled out the second plank of his climate change plan, pledging to achieve carbon neutrality by 2045 and add 8 million jobs to the U.S. economy. What do you think?

We need someone like him who's going to prioritize the planet over being elected.


Chloe-Louise Cousins

That sounds like a lot of money to save a single planet.


Corey Bell

With bold, visionary plans like this, I wouldn't be surprised to see him surge 0.02% in primary polls.


Henry Ferguson

San Francisco Bans Facial Recognition Technology

In a first for U.S. cities, San Francisco banned all local agencies, such as law enforcement and transit authorities, from using facial recognition technology. What do you think?

But we can still voluntarily let the police know where we are at all times, right?


Harold Coombes

I'm glad Silicon Valley is finally getting serious about exempting themselves from the problems they've created.


Eliza Edwards

Looks like the San Francisco Police Department will have to violate peoples' privacy the old-fashioned way.


Andrew Greig

SAT To Add 'Adversity Score' To Address Socioeconomic Disparities

The College Board announced it would take into account 15 factors that evaluate family income, social environments, and educational disparities in order to calculate an adversity score for SAT test takers to send to college admissions departments. What do you think?

This seems unfair to the students who through no fault of their own were born into wealth and privilege.


Jean Carpente

I'm concerned this metric won't fully take into account just how terrible my parenting has been.


Collette Cleveland

I'm sure their hearts are in the right place, but this practice runs a terrible risk of significantly leveling the playing field.


Johan Middleton

New Chocolate Flavor 'Ruby' Coming To U.S.

The U.S. will soon be introduced to ruby chocolate, a slightly sour and sweet-flavored variation made from a special form of the cocoa berry found in the Ivory Coast and Brazil, thus giving the world's largest chocolate market its first new chocolate type in 80 years. What do you think?

How is there a source of sugar and fat we don't already have?


Meg Casey

Finally, a way to turn all that useless rainforest into something worthwhile.


Alexandra Hogg

Game Of Thrones' Caps Off Series Finale

After eight seasons of critically acclaimed high-fantasy drama, HBO's Game Of Thrones capped off its final season this Sunday. What do you think?

So, the prophecy of a rushed final season that would liberate the show's creators from their HBO contracts was true?


Kingsley O'Ryan

Game Of Thrones' Caps Off Series Finale

It's rare a show comes along that I sort of like as much as I sort of liked Game Of Thrones.


Earl Kirk

Game Of Thrones' Caps Off Series Finale

The last couple seasons may have been a little shaky, but at least everyone remembered that it was a fictional thing that ultimately doesn't affect their lives at all.


Victor Schroeder

Britney Spears May Never Perform Again

Pop star Britney Spears may never perform again due to health and family issues, according to her longtime manager Larry Rudolph. What do you think?

I don't recall telling her she was done entertaining me.


Julian Osborne

Britney Spears May Never Perform Again

Geez, you mercilessly pick apart every action of a celebrity for 20 years, and all of a sudden, they don't want to perform anymore?


Patricia McKeown

Britney Spears May Never Perform Again

Fortunately, as an emotionally vulnerable millionaire, she's probably surrounded by people looking out for her best interest.


Alastair Barnard

25 McDonald's Employees Come Forward With Sexual Harassment Claim

Twenty-five employees have filed sexual harassment charges against McDonald's, describing accusations of sexual harassment, lewd comments, and retaliation on the job. What do you think?

To be fair, McDonald's has always been pretty clear about being the worst place on Earth to work.


Ariella Gonzales

That should never be among the ways fast-food workers are demeaned.


Peter Ryder

These days, people just expect to be handed basic dignity.


Taliah Parkinson

Japan Begins Testing Next-Gen Bullet Train

Japan has begun testing the ALFA-X, a next-generation bullet train with an aerodynamic nose capable of hitting a maximum speed of 248 mph, making it the fastest train of its type in the world. What do you think?

I guess that sounds fine if you like getting to places quickly.


Eli Cox

No fair! How come a country that invests in its infrastructure gets to have all the cool infrastructure?!


Fionn Collins

It's a shame most of the places I need to go are outside Japan.


Matteo Vincent

Urban Outfitters Introducing Clothing Rental Service

Clothing store Urban Outfitters will introduces a service called Nuuly where, for $88 dollars per month, a customer can rent six items of clothes to wear and return. What do you think?

This business model is in trouble once people figure out how to pirate clothing.


Jessica Webster

Making this a monthly service is being pretty optimistic about how long most Urban Outfitters clothing lasts.


Justin O'Neal

Okay, but I've been returning Urban Outfitters clothes after wearing them once since 1993.


Angelina Cantor

McDonald's To Add Global Items To Food Menu

In a shakeup to their U.S. menu, McDonald's plans to begin selling offerings from around the globe, including the Stroopwafel McFlurry from the Netherlands, the Grand McExtreme Bacon Burger from Spain, and Australia's Cheesy Bacon Fries. What do you think?

Finally! I was getting pretty tired of flying all the way to Spain just for an authentic McExtreme.


Aaron Marsden

Wow, they're really taking a big risk assuming Americans will embrace foreign food like ice cream and bacon.


Kevin Tucker

Ed Sheeran Releasing Collaborative Album

Ed Sheeran announced his new album, No.6 Collaborations Project, a collection of new tracks created with numerous guest collaborators, including Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock, and Justin Bieber. What do you think?

What a cool way to help promote an under-the-radar artist like Justin Bieber.


Sarah Cameron

I can't wait to find out what a PnB Rock is!


Eric Escobar

Ed, I am getting tired of your little games. Are you taking my daughter to prom or not?


Ted Hutchinson

Modi Soars To Reelection Victory

Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi declared victory after a reelection campaign that saw the right-wing nationalist garner over 60% of the vote. What do you think?

Every country has to decide for themselves how best to terrorize segments of their populace.


Adam Kaufman

Modi Soars To Reelection Victory

As goes Bhiwani-Mahendragarh, so goes the nation.


Michele O'Connor

Modi Soars To Reelection Victory

I wouldn't get disheartened by this. That's only, like, 600 million votes.


Krista Finnegan

Theresa May Resigns As U.K. Prime Minister

After a tenure marked by frustration and a repeated failure to exit the European Union, Theresa May—the country's second female prime minister—will resign from her post on June 7. What do you think?

At least she has the summer or winter or whatever it is over there to relax.


Eric Davidson

What happened to the good old England that successfully pulled off things that were terrible for the whole world?


Steven Jennings

Smart. You wanna get out of that job now while England still looks okay on your resume.


Kevin Flores

Mario Batali Faces Criminal Charge

Celebrity chef Mario Batali is facing an indecent assault and battery charge after a woman reported that he groped her in March 2017 at a Boston restaurant. What do you think?

They could stop a lot of this if they just let chefs marry.


Theodora McArthur

Mario Batali Faces Criminal Charge

It's going to be hard to find jurors who haven't been ripped off at Eataly.


Lyle Stannistich

Mario Batali Faces Criminal Charge

This could ruin his image as someone whose long history of sexual misconduct did not rise to the level of criminality.


Nathaniel Farkason

Man Known As The 'American Taliban' Released From Prison

After serving 17 years of his 20-year sentence, John Walker Lindh, known as the American Taliban after his capture in Afghanistan among Taliban soldiers three months after the September 11 attacks, will be released early for good behavior. What do you think?

Sounds fair. It's not like he was a black guy in possession of weed.


Georgina Elliott

American Taliban is such a scary name. For those of us serving alongside the Mujahideen fighters in Northern Afghanistan, he was always just John.


Mike Conway

After 17 years in prison, he's going to have a hard time trying to fit in with today's terrorist groups.


Nichole Herman

Missouri Could Soon Have No Abortion Clinics

Planned Parenthood revealed that Missouri is within days of losing its last remaining health center that provides abortions due to state-level interference. What do you think?

This would be a great opportunity for some kind of government to come in and make sure the people there have their rights.


Scarlett Patterson

Well, I guess so much for my plan to have an abortion in all 50 states.


Pranav Mcgowan

They also have no Carl's Jr., but just go to Hardee's. That's what they call it there.


John Schneider

McConnell Says He Would Fill Supreme Court Seat In 2020

Directly contradicting past stances that blocked Merrick Garland from joining the court, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said this week that he would fill a Supreme Court vacancy in 2020. What do you think?

If I were a Democratic leader, I'd stop at nothing to point out this double standard and call for better behavior in the future.


Lyla-Rose Beltran

When you think about it, wouldn't the real hypocrisy be for him to suddenly become principled?


Winnie Swift

It makes sense when you consider that he wanted to do a thing, and now he wants to do a different thing.


Hollie Desmond

Trump Says Russia Helped Him Win Election

In an extraordinary admission of foreign interference in the 2016 election, President Trump tweeted that he had nothing to do with Russian efforts that helped him to get elected before later contradicting this statement in conversation with reporters. What do you think?

I don't care what Trump said; Trump said there was no collusion.


Stephen Proctor

Trump's compulsive need to tell the truth gets him in trouble again.


Rudolph Sawyer

But he later denied it, and we all know the truth is the most recent thing you say.


Evan Kirby

Roy Moore Mulling 2020 Senate Run

Former Alabama judge Roy Moore is reportedly considering making another bid for the state's Senate seat despite accusations of dating underage teenagers and warnings from the Republican establishment. What do you think?


Marina Young

Roy Moore Mulling 2020 Senate Run

Voters already made it clear they won't stand for Moore's behavior when they almost elected him.


George Wicks

Roy Moore Mulling 2020 Senate Run

The only way he could ever get the RNC's support would be if he somehow inched up in the polls a bit.


Kaiya Benson

J.K. Rowling Releasing New 'Harry Potter' E-Books

J.K. Rowling will release four short Harry Potter e-books next month exploring the history of magic through themes such as Defence Against the Dark Arts as well as Potions and Herbology alongside never-before-seen sketches and notes from the series' universe. What do you think?

Sorry, but I grew out of Harry Potter when I turned 35.


Rodney Kirkland

It's sad to see a grown woman still so obsessed with Harry Potter.


Zain Buckner

I don't care if it's an e-book—I'm still taking out my wand and getting dressed up in my cloak when I buy it!


Will Stephenson

Trump Administration Steps Up Attacks On Climate Science

The White House has escalated its attacks on climate science with actions like shuttering the study of the Earth's warming and stripping communinqués of all references to climate change. What do you think?

I voted for Trump, but this kind of thing makes me seriously regret the fact that I'll vote for him again.


Arnie Cherry

To be fair, it would be nice not to hear any bad news about climate change for a while.


Angelina Colley

If you look back at history, you'll see that the planet routinely goes through these ebbs and flows of incontrovertible scientific data.


Lachlan Rosa

Sports Illustrated' Sold For $110 Million

The intellectual property of Sports Illustrated, including the swimsuit issue and Sportsman Of The Year award, will be sold to the Authentic Brands group for $110 million. What do you think?

As a reader and sports junkie, I'm psyched SI will further diversify the intellectual property holdings of Authentic Brands Group, LLC.


Alton Solomon

This is truly the end of a very specific and inconsequential era.


Kamil Lugo

What a joke. You can find pictures of any sport online for free.


Sarah Wilkes

Trump Arrives For U.K. State Visit

In a visit that will encompass a royal visit with the Queen, a diplomatic banquet, and a wave of planned protests, President Trump arrived in the U.K. for a state visit this week. What do you think?

I hope he isn't intimidated by their superior skill at gaudy displays of wealth.


Johnathan Esparza

Trump Arrives For U.K. State Visit

I don't know if Buckingham Palace has ever held so much unearned power at once.


Oliver Stott

Trump Arrives For U.K. State Visit

I hope he scheduled plenty of time for the London Transport Museum because three hours really isn't enough.


Todd McConnell

Apple Shutting Down iTunes

After nearly two decades of the iconic music software, Apple will shut down iTunes to break it into several refreshed apps for music, movies, TV, and podcasts. What do you think?

It's always so sad when a product dies before its corporation.


Mandy Ponce

Apple Shutting Down iTunes

I knew I was right to put off their software updates for the last six years.


Pascal Downes

Apple Shutting Down iTunes

I really thought it had one more terrible redesign attempt left in it.


Davina Davila

World Commemorates Tiananmen Square Protest 30th Anniversary

Thirty years after the pro-democracy uprising, the world commemorated the Tiananmen Square protest movement amidst the Chinese government's censorship of the event's history. What do you think?

It's fascinating to look back at a time when people still thought democracy was a good idea.


Steven Corbett

I'm proud to be an American where my total lack of knowledge on this was due to a poor education system and not government interference.


Alan Hubbard

Sorry, I'm trying to respect the Chinese government's wishes to not discuss that event.


Alicia Garner

Trump Vows Tariffs Against Mexico

Despite fears of upsetting trade and destabilizing the economy, President Trump announced plans to impose tariffs on Mexican goods imported into the U.S. as part of his effort to stem immigration across the southern border. What do you think?

At the end of the day, all that matters is everyone suffers.


Craig Morley

Trump Vows Tariffs Against Mexico

Hey, it's no wall, but it's expensive and unnecessary, and I'll take it.


Hal Farrell

Trump Vows Tariffs Against Mexico

Trump could really start damaging U.S.–Mexico relations if he isn't careful.


Nora Shannon

YouTube Updates Policy To Ban Supremacists And Hoax Video Users

YouTube announced this week that it would update its hate speech policy to ban users denying the Holocaust and Sandy Hook, as well as those advocating for a supremacist worldview. What do you think?


Fred Rich

This is a complete betrayal of the ideals our Founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote the YouTube terms of service.


Ian Kent

What about videos arguing that Sith are superior to Jedi?


Hannah Hickman

Nepal Considering Changing Everest Rules

After a rash of deaths caused by congestion and inexperience at the mountain's summit, Nepalese authorities say they are examining changes to the rules for who gets to climb Mount Everest. What do you think?

Why? There are few enough cool places to die already.


Thomas Sharp

I hope this doesn't hurt Nepalese kids sherping their way through college.


Winifred Horton

It's cute that Nepal thinks they can control what millionaires do.


Zack Britton

World Marks 75th Anniversary Of D-Day

The world marked the 75th anniversary of D-Day this week with a ceremony at Normandy beach and speeches from world leaders commemorating the sacrifice of veterans. What do you think?

We won't see their kind again unless we're fortunate enough to have World War III.


Herbie Sheldon

World Marks 75th Anniversary Of D-Day

I hate when everyone decides to go to the beach on the same day.


Tommy Lott

World Marks 75th Anniversary Of D-Day

Hopefully, this generation gets a chance to storm something.


Allison Rosario

E3 2019 Kicks Off

Video game fans and developers flocked to the industry's largest convention this week for four days of tantalizing trailers, gameplay demonstrations, and previews of the next generation of consoles. What do you think?

Hearing about these big conventions always makes me wish I had interests.


Merv McKenna

E3 2019 Kicks Off

I can't wait to hear about all the games we have to wait to hear about!


Chris Whittle

E3 2019 Kicks Off


Jon-Paul Levy

Study Finds White Meat Just As Bad As Red Meat

Contradicting the long-held belief on the relative healthiness of meats like poultry, a new study found that white meat raises an individual's cholesterol just as rapidly as red meat. What do you think?

But at least it's the good kind of unhealthy, right?


Cecil Dickinson

That settles it—I'm just eating everything I see from now on.


Walter Williams

Just point to the animal you want me to eat, and goddamnit, I'll eat it!


Roger Hail

Justice Department Turns Over Mueller Evidence To House

The Justice Department has agreed to provide Congress with key evidence collected by Special Counsel Robert Mueller's investigation connected to President Trump's potential obstruction of justice. What do you think?

Seeking the truth seems like a terrible political miscalculation.


Stephen Worthington

You always want to bolster your overwhelming evidence with some evidence.


Maya Hoover

Now that Congress has the evidence, it's only a matter of time before Clinton and her cohorts are in jail.


Tiffany Bates

Obamas Sign Podcast Deal With Spotify

Barack and Michelle Obama have signed a podcast deal to produce content for streaming giant Spotify, touting it as a chance to foster productive dialogue, make people smile, and make people think. What do you think?

I've always wondered what Barack Obama's voice sounds like.


Selena Clay

Obamas Sign Podcast Deal With Spotify

Hopefully, this leads to something bigger down the road for them.


Francis Forbes

Obamas Sign Podcast Deal With Spotify

Interesting. I pegged them as more of an Earwolf couple.


Barry Wainwright

Hong Kong Swept With Protests

In defiance of an extradition law that many believe would allow mainland China to erode civil liberties, 1 million citizens swept into the streets of Hong Kong this week to protest. What do you think?

Have they tried taking their freedoms for granted until the unimaginable comes to pass?


Chris Whitney

Hong Kong Swept With Protests

That seems kind of inconsiderate after how much work the Chinese government did to cover up the last big protest.


Adel Fletcher

Hong Kong Swept With Protests

Meanwhile, I can't even get 10 people to come to my barbecue.


Keira Cresswell

Game Of Thrones' Author Working On New Video Game

George R.R. Martin is collaborating with FromSoftware, the creators of the Dark Souls series, to write the story of Elden Ring, a new action-RPG set in a fantasy universe. What do you think?

It seems like kind of a gamble to just assume that big fantasy fans will also enjoy playing video games.


Jeremy Prosser

It takes a true creative visionary to come up with the idea of a fantasy story with rings.


Peter Currie

Okay, but after he finishes this video game, he needs to get back to work on his blog.


Benjamin Draper

Canada Bans Keeping Whales, Dolphins In Captivity

In a move being hailed by animal rights advocates, Canada's Parliament passed legislation banning whales, dolphins, and porpoises from being bred or held in captivity. What do you think?

Given the dolphin recidivism rate, they'll just be back in six months.


Kevin Lacey

The aquariums should move down here. We'll cage anything.


Macy Ali

Where else are they going to keep their whales then?


Ted Ryan

Pence Defends Decision To Ban Flying Pride Flags At U.S. Embassies

Vice President Mike Pence defended the State Department's recent choice to ban flying rainbow flags outside U.S. embassies in celebration of Pride Month, saying it was the right decision to solely mount the American flag in such spots. What do you think?

In my day, if you wanted to fly your flag over an embassy, you took it by force and held everyone hostage for a couple years.


Frederick Samson

It sucks that the vice president is in charge of flags.


Cara Holmes

All those flamboyantly colored stars and stripes are pushing it as is.


Marvin Bentley

Radiohead Releases 18 Hours Of Own 'OK Computer' Demos

After being threatened by a hacker who had stolen the audio files, Radiohead has released 18 hours of demos documenting the creation of classic album OK Computer in support of the climate fund Extinction Rebellion. What do you think?

My one complaint about OK Computer has always been that it's not 17 hours and seven minutes longer.


Jermaine King

Once A&R reps hear these demos, it's only a matter of time before labels come calling.


Patty Shannon

I'm a little conflicted here because I love Radiohead, but I'm actually in favor of climate change.


Cara Grainger

Federal Watchdog Recommends Removal Of Kellyanne Conway

Due to her violation of the Hatch Act by disparaging Democratic candidates, Kellyanne Conway should be removed from office, according to a recommendation by the Office of the Special Counsel, a federal watchdog agency. What do you think?

Let's not condemn Ms. Conway until she's had a chance to project, distort, and obfuscate the issue.


Blane Thomson

After giving the administration a pass on so many other laws, it seems unfair to expect them to comply with this one.


Katelyn Reeve

Japan Bans Flying Drones While Drunk

Japan has passed a ban on flying drones while drunk, threatening to fine intoxicated drone users up to $3,000 and comparing operating drones after consuming alcohol to drunk driving. What do you think?

But it's probably okay if you were just going to fly your drone home from the bar, right?


Fred Walters

Japan Bans Flying Drones While Drunk

Please. I'd like to see a drone take out half an Apple Store like I did in my car.


Devin Werner

Japan Bans Flying Drones While Drunk

Why would anyone need to add to the high of playing with a little toy helicopter?


Fabien Alfaro

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Leaving White House

Ending a tenure marked by a combative relationship with the press and repeated fabrications, White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders will be leaving her post at the end of the month. What do you think?

You can only lie so much before your conscience tells you there's more money in lying elsewhere.


Roger Sheridan

Today, I'm going to deny the evidence of my senses in her honor.


Sarah Petersen

Well, she got some great footage for her reel.


Andre Hogan

O.J. Simpson Joins Twitter

O.J. Simpson joined Twitter this past weekend under the handle @therealoj32, noting that he hoped his presence would be a lot of fun and joking that he had a little gettin' even to do. What do you think?

It's 2019. Why are we even still talking about a washed-up monster like Twitter?


Rick Knights

O.J. Simpson Joins Twitter


Daria Hancock

O.J. Simpson Joins Twitter

That's not fair, I got banned from Twitter just for threatening to kill someone.


Elena Humphrey

Iran Threatens To Breach Nuclear Deal

Iran said Monday that it had begun enriching uranium and would violate the 2015 nuclear accord within weeks if efforts were not made to ease the damage done by United States sanctions, which themselves violated the deal. What do you think?

Oh, man. I wouldn't want to be on Earth right now.


Frank Alcoctt

Iran Threatens To Breach Nuclear Deal

At least this will keep my mind off of the fact that North Korea has nuclear weapons.


Mikail Winters

Iran Threatens To Breach Nuclear Deal

Why on Earth would they escalate tensions after the U.S. escalated tensions?


David Milne

Poll: Support For Abortion Growing

A growing proportion of Americans—56%— believe abortion should be legal, according to an NBC poll, rising from 49% in 2008. What do you think?

As a Christian, I can never allow, condone, or tolerate any kind of female autonomy.


Steven Dupont

Poll: Support For Abortion Growing

With some of the babies I've seen lately, I'm not surprised.


Eden Allan

Poll: Support For Abortion Growing


Briana Chapman

New Polls Show Warren In Second Place

Several new polls show Elizabeth Warren surging to second place behind Joe Biden, suggesting a head-to-head race for the primary's more liberal voters between herself and Bernie Sanders. What do you think?

Yet I remain honor-bound by the Bernie bumper sticker I put on my car in 2016.


Ned Cormin

New Polls Show Warren In Second Place

She should be careful not to ruin her plucky underdog image by winning.


Evan Reyes

New Polls Show Warren In Second Place

I'd say the real story is Tim Ryan's meteoric rise to 16th.


Jason English

World Will Get Half Of Its Power From Wind And Solar By 2050

Nearly half the world's electricity will come from renewable energy by midcentury as costs of wind, solar and battery storage continue to plummet, according to a report from Bloomberg. What do you think?

Guess it's time to start investing in breezes.


Nelly McCallum

And only 25 years too late to avert catastrophic environmental effects!


Adam Woods

This is just the guardedly positive news I needed to forget the last few dozen climate change studies.


Percy Crawford

Hunger Games' Prequel Novel Coming In 2020

The Hunger Games author Suzanne Collins is writing a prequel to the series set 64 years before the beginning of the rebellion in her bestselling trilogy. What do you think?

Hasn't she learned from J.K. Rowling that prequels to hugely successful young adult franchises tend to be marginally less successful?


Nelson McLaughlin

I've always been curious what kind of people Romulus Thread's grandparents were.


Ariana Ford

As long as child-on-child murder is still the central focus, I'm in!


Dave Callaghan

$1 Billion Worth Of Cocaine Seized

Federal authorities have seized 165 tons of cocaine with a street value of $1 billion in the Packer Marine Terminal in Philadelphia. What do you think?

Are they sure it isn't just 165 tons of crushed up baby aspirin? Because I've been burned before.


Charley Michael

$1 Billion Worth Of Cocaine Seized

Federal authorities clearly don't care that this kind of action only hurts people looking for a good time.


Caitlin Ratcliffe

$1 Billion Worth Of Cocaine Seized

This is why you should always diversify your portfolio.


Adam Meyer

EPA Weakens U.S. Climate Change Plan

The Trump EPA has rolled out a plan known as the Affordable Clean Energy rule, which will weaken Obama-era regulations and could increase carbon emissions. What do you think?

At least he's doing this now and not when we're at some dangerous climate change tipping point.


Nathan Caldwell

EPA Weakens U.S. Climate Change Plan

The only way to truly protect the environment is to teach it to fend for itself.


Meagan Sweeney

EPA Weakens U.S. Climate Change Plan

I'm not sure U.S. environmental regulations can get any weaker, but I admire their ambition.


Martha Goulding

Bolton Says Military Action Still On The Table

White House National Security Adviser John Bolton told Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu that the U.S. may still order a military strike against Iran. What do you think?

Well, sure, we'd be idiots not to at least consider a costly and pointless war.


Kevin Derrick

You always want a lengthy Middle Eastern bloodbath at the ready in case things go wrong.


Eric Davies

With a National Security Advisor as diplomatic and disarming as Bolton, I doubt we'd ever need to resort to military action.


Anna Pennington

Obesity Rates Falling Among U.S. Preschoolers

Obesity rates among U.S. preschoolers have dropped from 16% in 2010 to 14% this year, offering hope that school dietary changes may have helped curb the health epidemic. What do you think?

I have noticed more kids outrunning me lately.


Elijah Greer

Damn, that was one of the few things American kids excelled at.


Frederick Nicholls

Good. All that labored breathing was making the playground a real downer.


Bradley Kinney

Trump Confirms Pence As 2020 Running Mate

In an interview with Chuck Todd, Donald Trump said that Mike Pence would be his running mate in 2020, ruling out speculation on other options. What do you think?

Of course. He needs Mike Pence to secure the blander racists.


Theodore Frederick

Good idea to snap him up before one of the other campaigns came calling.


Tia Mccarty

Well, sure, that kind of bland complicity isn't just something you find every day.


Mila Herman

Americans Tune Into First Democratic Debates

Americans will tune into NBC tonight to watch the first of two nights of Democratic presidential debates as the expansive field of candidates vie for the interest of voters. What do you think?

I'm curious which candidates will vow to restore America's promise and which will pledge to uphold our highest ideals.


Larry Cleveland

I don't know if two nights are enough to get a full and robust sense of everybody's names.


Kevin Shepard

Wow, this country must be pretty desperate if it's willing to put itself through the democratic process again.


Meryl May

U.S. Imposes New Sanctions On Iran

In an escalation of tensions between the two nations, the U.S. imposed hard-hitting new sanctions on Iran, including on the office of Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei, in retaliation for the destruction of an American drone. What do you think?

Soon, all Iran will have left is lots and lots of enriched uranium.


Abraham Gentry

U.S. Imposes New Sanctions On Iran

At some point, we're going to have to accept that all the sanctions in the world won't bring that drone back.


Andy Guevara

U.S. Imposes New Sanctions On Iran

In solidarity with my country, I too will stop trading goods with Iran.


Sarah Betts

Pence Declines To Say Whether Climate Change A Threat

In an interview with Jake Tapper, Vice President Mike Pence repeatedly refused to say whether he believed climate change was a man-made threat to humanity, despite an overwhelming scientific consensus from researchers within the U.S. government that it is. What do you think?

It does seem like a rush to declare something a threat just because 50-odd years of studies say it is.


Harold Hawkins

He didn't get where he is by accurately assessing dire threats to humanity.


Leo Pena

I think it's nice that he doesn't want us to worry.


Martin Richardson

Trump Picks Stephanie Grisham As New Press Secretary

First lady Melania Trump's communications director Stephanie Grisham will be the new White House press secretary, replacing Sarah Huckabee Sanders as the new press-facing voice of the administration. What do you think?

Hopefully we can now finally get to the bottom of how large the crowd was at Trump's inauguration.


Savanna Firth

Well, I promised myself I wouldn't get attached to another White House press secretary, but here I am, devastated.


Adam Marriott

Illinois Legalizes Marijuana

Becoming the 11th state to allow the substance for recreational use, Governor J.B. Pritzker signed bill legalizing marijuana in Illinois starting on January 1, 2020. What do you think?

But being unjustly imprisoned for it was half the fun!


Jarred Beltran

Illinois Legalizes Marijuana

Isn't the state worried this could give it a reputation for lawlessness and corruption?


Chelsey Salt

Illinois Legalizes Marijuana

Yet again, the midwest proves itself to be the American capital of vice and degeneracy.


Tycho Rennie

Mueller To Testify Before Congress

After being subpoenaed by the House of Representatives, Special Counsel Robert Mueller agreed to testify before Congress about his investigation into Russian interference in the 2016 election and Donald Trump's alleged obstruction of justice. What do you think?


Marco Gregory

Mueller To Testify Before Congress

This could be just the measured, noncommittal testimony that brings down this administration.


Agatha Bernal

Mueller To Testify Before Congress

As a fan of congressional grandstanding, I could not be more excited.


Cara Tyler

Supreme Court Rejects Adding Census Citizenship Question

In a blow to the Trump administration, the Supreme Court ruled that there was no reasonable rationale put forth for adding a citizenship question to the U.S. Census, a move that many have argued has a racially and politically discriminatory motive. What do you think?

Thank god, I'd be way too mortified to admit I'm a citizen of the United States right now.


Harris Bateman

They'll just have to go with their plan B and just assume everyone with a weird name is foreign.


Margo Glass

Italy To Host 2026 Winter Olympics

Italy will host the 2026 Winter Olympic Games in Milan-Cortina, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) announced last week, beating out Stockholm as the host city for the upcoming games. What do you think?

Sure, there should still be a little snow left in the world by then.


Rogan Hayward

Italy To Host 2026 Winter Olympics

Once again, the IOC showing its inherent bias against the Svalbard archipelago.


Daryl Cope

Italy To Host 2026 Winter Olympics


Aaron Jarvis

HPV Vaccine Benefits May Lead To Cervical Cancer Elimination

A new study found the HPV vaccine has outperformed the expectations of doctors due to its ability to prevent the HPV-related illnesses, even in those without vaccination, raising hopes of eliminating cervical cancer entirely. What do you think?


Adelaide Nixon

Knowing my dumb cervix, it'll just find some other way to kill me.


Reuben Estrada

I was already wrong for opposing this. Do you really need to rub it in by curing cancer?


Shawn Martins

U.S. Renewables Top Coal For First Time

In a milestone for the nation's energy sector, U.S. renewables topped coal for the first time ever in April, suggesting a pattern of green energy that will likely sustain itself in the coming years. What do you think?

When the sun collapses in about 8 billion years, don't come crying to the coal industry.


Isla-Rae Martin

U.S. Renewables Top Coal For First Time

After everything the EPA has done to prevent this?


Axl Cash

U.S. Renewables Top Coal For First Time

Look, I'm mining as quickly as I can here, goddamnit.


Brendon Shea

Trump Tells Liberal Congresswomen To 'Go Back To Their Country'

A group of four minority congresswomen have pushed back after Trump told them to go back to their country, accusing him of racism and stoking white nationalism. What do you think?

I feel sorry for the Republicans who spent all those decades carefully crafting their party's delicate racist subtext.


Clara Bender

As a Trump supporter, I'm insulted by the implication that my white nationalism needs stoking.


Greg Knowles

It's ridiculous that we're calling Trump's comments racist just because they seek to isolate and vilify someone based on their race.


Gus Stout

Alan Turing To Be Honored On Britain's £50 Note

Computer physicist Alan Turing, one of the most notable codebreakers of World War II, will be honored on Britain's fifty-pound note more than 60 years after he was forced to undergo chemical castration under Britain's laws against homosexuality. What do you think?

Seems like a lot to go through just to get your face on money.


Peter Hess

Not quite the same as living till a ripe old age with functioning genitals, but it's something.


Alison Briggs

Yeah, a $50 bill is how I apologize too.


Ellie-Mae Freeman

Netflix Cuts Controversial Suicide Scene From '13 Reasons Why'

Responding to criticism that the series glorified self-harm, Netflix has recut a controversial suicide scene from the season finale of 13 Reasons Why to remove graphic elements. What do you think?

I thought Netflix already settled this with some bullshit about starting a larger conversation.


Steve Sanchez

I'm sure I can find some other show on there to drive me to suicide.


Tycho Deleon

Maybe now suicide won't seem so romantic once it's hidden from view and shrouded in mystery.


Willa Brennan

Next Bond Movie Will Feature Black Female Actor In Role Of 007

Production insiders revealed that actor Lashana Lynch will take the codename 007 in the 25th Bond film, which will reportedly feature Daniel Craig's James Bond retiring from intelligence gathering to a life in Jamaica. What do you think?

Sorry, but 007 is and always has been seven different white men.


Reginald Morley

It's nice to see how much progress black women are continuing to make in entirely fictional worlds.


Harry Davidson

A new 007 is just the thing to revitalize this franchise for a movie or two before it becomes stagnant and ridiculous again.


Ted Ryans

Game Of Thrones' Receives Record-Breaking 32 Nominations

Game of Thrones led the pack for the 71st Emmy Awards with a historic 32 nominations, topping competitors including Better Call Saul and Killing Eve. What do you think?

Sorry, but that show only deserves 29 nominations, tops.


Ana Fletcher

So you're saying I did like this season after all?


Kevin Prince

Ah, don't tell me anything else! I still have four more Emmy ceremonies to catch up on.


Evan Roy

Mark Sanford Considering Running Primary Attempt Against Trump

Republican Mark Sanford announced that he will spend the next month mulling whether to run a campaign for president in 2020, saying Trump's rhetoric is a distraction from policies that should emphasize fiscal responsibility. What do you think?

He'll need to say some pretty horrible stuff to get my vote.


Leah Andrade

Who does he think he is, James Buchanan?


Red Miller

I was hoping the primary would attract a higher-profile disgraced politician.


Kaylie Wright

Trump Says He Disagrees With 'Send Her Back' Chants

President Trump told reporters that he disagreed with send her back chants directed at Rep. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) at a recent campaign rally, and claimed that he attempted to cut off the chants despite this being contradicted by video from the rally. What do you think?

He went up to every single rally member individually and asked them not to say it. I saw the video, we all did.


Craig Erikson

I'm sure if they keep working at it, they can come up with a white nationalist chant everyone can agree on.


Larry Huber

He can't be expected to answer for every little racist thing his supporters do that he encouraged.


Isabelle Rodriquez

House Votes To Raise Federal Minimum Wage To $15

In a largely symbolic victory for the left, the House of Representatives voted to raise the hourly minimum wage to $15 per hour, although the bill is almost guaranteed to die in the Republican-controlled Senate. What do you think?

Good. Minimum-wage workers have labored too hard and too long not to get a symbolic, imaginary raise.


Doug Reader

Thank God this is just symbolic, I don't even know what I'd do with a whole $28,000 a year.


Martin O’Connell

This will just exacerbate income inequality because now the wealthy will get a minimum wage increase, too.


Lynda Floyd

July On Track To Be Hottest Month Ever

According to preliminary estimates by NASA and other climate monitoring agencies, this July is likely to have been the hottest month ever, with 2019 likely to be one of the top five hottest years on record. What do you think?

Please. That's what they say every July.


Greg Gilbert

July On Track To Be Hottest Month Ever


Martin Sanderson

July On Track To Be Hottest Month Ever

Maybe this will help melt down all the plastic in the ocean everyone keeps complaining about!


Jason Deleon

Chuck Schumer Announces Support For Reparations Bill

Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer announced that he will support a bill to establish a commission to study reparations for slavery, adding a significant voice to the discussion surrounding the issue. What do you think?

Instead of focusing on our horrific past, we should be thinking about our horrific future.


Roger O’Neill

If this doesn't get people excited about reparations, I don't know what will.


Mary Pacheco

What about a bill exploring the possibility of continuing to act like everything's fine now?


Amanda Wright

Iran Arrests 17 People Allegedly Spying For CIA

In an escalation of feuds between the two nations, Iran's government claims it has dismantled a CIA network by arresting 17 individuals for spying for America, a claim the U.S. categorically denies. What do you think?

It's this slow buildup that will make the actual war so satisfying.


Victor Hayden

Let's hope they're bluffing and they're just punishing innocent civilians.


Nicolas Petersen

I hope soon we can go back to spying on each other in peace.


Hannah Bartlett

Hundreds Of Thousands Protest Against Governor In Puerto Rico

Puerto Ricans filled the streets for a massive planned protest against Ricardo Rosselló, 40, a Democrat whose leaked messages insulted women and gay people, made light of those who died from Hurricane Maria, and revealed potential crimes by his administration. What do you think?

Isn't that going to be disruptive to people's vacations?


Craig Mora

At least he's not in charge of something important like a state.


Seth Teegan

This has to be a pretty big embarrassment for whatever country Puerto Rico is in.


Chelsey Clay

Mueller Testifies Before Congress

In a hotly anticipated testimony that may shed further light on the president's conduct, former Special Counsel Robert Mueller will speak before two Democratic-led House panels about his report on Russia interference and Trump's potential obstruction of justice. What do you think?

This is the moment we all used to be waiting for.


Steven Odling

Mueller Testifies Before Congress

Good to see a man of his age getting out of the house.


Braden Macgregor

Mueller Testifies Before Congress

I can't wait to watch! I'm a big fan of political grandstanding.


Siena McArthur

Boris Johnson To Be Next U.K. Prime Minister

Boris Johnson, the brash populist leader, is set to be the United Kingdom's next prime minister after a vote among Tory membership, putting him in place to navigate a potential hard departure from the E.U. after years of promising Brexit's benefits. What do you think?

Finally, a leader who can deliver the economic and political chaos Brexit voters demanded.


Harold Sierra

I can think of no better punishment for carelessly touting the benefits of Brexit than becoming the most powerful elected official in the United Kingdom.


Brett Bevan

It's always nice to see someone rich and famous finally get what he wanted.


Craig Keates

India's Chandrayaan-2 Mission Heading To Moon

Following a successful launch of the Chandrayaan-2 rover mission to the moon, India is on track to become the fourth country to complete a controlled lunar landing. What do you think?

It's reassuring to see other countries progress and achieve what America is no longer capable of.


Alana Patterson

Well, don't forget it's a much shorter flight from India to the moon.


Patrick Beck

It's sad to see an American landmark like the moon overrun with foreign robots.


Aaron Guthrie

Justice Department Resumes Capital Punishment After 2-Decade Hiatus

Attorney General William Barr directed the Bureau of Prisons to schedule the executions of five inmates convicted of murder and other crimes after nearly two decades of not doing so. What do you think?

I prefer when the federal government decides who lives or dies in more indirect ways.


Peter Cross

Get ready, scumbags. Your solitary confinement vacation is over.


Francisca Laing

I thought prisons were finally inhumane enough to make the death penalty unnecessary.


Jackson Portillo

Instagram Begins Hiding Likes

Instagram has started hiding likes for a test group in Canada, a fundamental alteration to the service that many users say will allow them to stay more focused on the content itself if the change is expanded to other markets. What do you think?

I'm fine with this change, but the 14-year-old girl I pretend to be on Instagram isn't going to like it at all.


Melanie Potts

Instagram Begins Hiding Likes

If there's a better way to judge which people to keep in my life that isn't based on liking photos of my breakfast, I'm all ears.


Kyle Doyle

Instagram Begins Hiding Likes

I've always said our social media networks could use less positivity.


Aiden Eckhart

New York Bans Discrimination Against Natural Hair

New York governor Andrew Cuomo signed into law Assembly Bill 07797, which prohibits race discrimination based on natural hair or hairstyles. What do you think?

And those of us with horrifying unnatural hair are just left to suffer.


Bella-Rose Schneider

I didn't even realize that's a thing I could've been doing all this time.


Adam Gross

Brazil's Deforestation Of Amazon Increased By 39% In Past Year

Brazil's part of the Amazon has lost more than 1,330 square miles of forest cover since Jair Bolsonaro, a populist who cut environmental policies, took office, constituting a 39% increase over the same period last year. What do you think?

I was really counting on Brazil to take the environmental measures we won't enforce here.


Greg Olson

Sometimes, things have to get 39% worse before they get better.


Ingrid Quintero

Isn't that going to be detrimental to the views from the resorts?


Jacob Dunne

Swarms Of Grasshoppers Descend On Las Vegas

Hordes of grasshoppers have invaded Las Vegas due to a larger than usual amount of rainfall, burying cars and stunning drivers, although entomologists stress residents have little to fear from their largely benign presence. What do you think?

Everyone should see Vegas at least once in their 60-day life cycle.


Brenda Kirk

Don't they realize you can have just as much fun in Reno for a fraction of the cost?


Neil Acosta

Locals actually prefer the writhing pit of cicadas off Fremont Street.


Theodore Roberts

Trump Attacks Al Sharpton, Elijah Cummings In Tweets

After attacking Representative Elijah Cummings (D-MD) in recent tweets by calling Baltimore a very dangerous and filthy place, President Trump attempted to paint Rev. Al Sharpton as a racist. What do you think?

This almost makes me regret having already made up my mind to vote for him again in 2020.


Greg Morgan

It's exciting to see his new pared-down platform of only racism.


Ashley Dean

Maybe they should learn not to take racism so personally.


Annabel Cornish

Dan Coats Resigns As Director Of National Intelligence

After a tenure in which he repeatedly contradicted the president on statements about foreign adversaries, Director of National Intelligence Dan Coats has resigned from his post. The president has said he will likely nominate White House loyalist John Ratcliffe as a replacement. What do you think?

Yeah, it's good to get out before the organization goes under.


Gabe Clegg

There's got to be lots of jobs eager to hire a guy with that much torturing experience.


Maxwell Bernard

The Trump administration was bound to get its first departure at some point, but I didn't think it would be so early.


Sarah-Jayne Nunez

Lil Nas X's 'Old Town Road' Breaks Billboard Record

After spending 17 weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100, Lil Nas X's country-rap hit Old Town Road has officially broken the chart's record for longest-running single, an honor previously held by Mariah Carey's and Boyz II Men's One Sweet Day and Luis Fonsi featuring Daddy Yankee's Despacito. What do you think?

Does this mean I can stop listening to it now?


Andrew Miles

Those rankings have always been rigged in favor of horse-based songs.


Tony Frederickson

I hate when they ruin an oversaturated meme by turning it into an overplayed pop song.


Amara Mclellan

Ethiopia Plants 350 Million Trees In Single Day

In a campaign to combat climate change and produce a greener future, Ethiopia's government announced that it had planted 350 million trees across the country as part of its green legacy initiative. What do you think?

I'm sure we'd do something similar if we had the resources of Ethiopia.


Romario Langley

Yeah, any time I get around to my gardening I always go a bit overboard, too.


Charles Villanueva

Perfect. Now, we can cut 350 million trees down.


Alysha Phelps

CRISPR Gene-Editing Tool Used To Treat First U.S. Patient

For the first time in the U.S., a patient has received an infusion of 2 billion cells edited with the gene-editing tool CRISPR to help treat sickle cell disease, presaging a new age of targeted treatments for genetic diseases. What do you think?

Would it really have been that hard to figure out a way to add an 'e' to the acronym?


Ramone Pritchard

This sounds like some techno-dystopia where people don't have to have cystic fibrosis.


Kasper Mccarty

Hopefully, curing sickle cell disease brings us closer to someday weaponizing it.


Nora Norton

Fed Cuts Interest Rates

The Federal Reserve is almost universally expected to make a quarter-point cut to interest rates in order to stave off signs of a slowing economy. What do you think?

I hope this doesn't hurt my investments in rent, medical bills, and groceries.


Emile Johnson

Fed Cuts Interest Rates

This sounds like one of those important things for people whose checking account aren't currently overdrawn.


Tad Drew

Fed Cuts Interest Rates

Oh, they're just doing it for the attention.


Doug Hook

Obama Reportedly Unfazed By Criticism From 2020 Candidates

A source close to President Obama said that he has taken criticism from 2020 candidates in stride, noting that he believes his legacy is going to be fine, that there's a staying power to it and the things under attack by this president are high water marks for the country. What do you think?

It takes a big man to own up to how perfect he was.


Ivan Barnes

Cash For Clunkers will never be forgotten, Mr. President.


Iona Rangel

It's probably a waste of time to criticize his accomplishments when they've already been undone.


Harrison Arellano

Trust In Science Growing, Poll Finds

A Pew poll found that 86% of Americans say they have a fair or great deal amount of trust in science, a result up from 76% in 2016 and far higher than trust placed in politicians, journalists, or clergy. What do you think?

Glad we're now channeling our ignorance into history instead of science.


Macy Jacobson

Trust In Science Growing, Poll Finds

Looks like 10,000 years of systematically acquiring knowledge about the natural world is finally paying off.


Melvin Andrew

Trust In Science Growing, Poll Finds

Science did create the mystery flavor of Airheads, so you gotta give them that.


Arun Tucker

Impossible Burger Approved To Be Sold In Stores

After receiving regulatory approval from the FDA, the plant-based Impossible Burger has been approved to be sold in supermarkets nationwide, offering an option for environmentally conscious consumers looking for a burger substitute. What do you think?

It's like we're living in the future: an agency that approves the safety of food!


Sabrina Harmon

This is pointless until someone invents a vegetarian bun.


Cordelia Mercado

Wow, if you told me 20 years ago that one day we'd be eating plants, I would have called you crazy.


Kelsea Foley

Medical Procedure Could Delay Menopause By 20 Years

A medical procedure that could help women delay menopause for up to 20 years has been launched in Britain, potentially preventing serious health problems such as heart conditions and bone-weakening osteoporosis. What do you think?

A delay is fine as long as I don't miss out on the osteoporosis altogether.


Nicole Vance

I always hoped someday there'd be a simple operation that could give me 20 more years of periods.


Brandon Greaves

Boy, I bet this makes women who have learned to accept and embrace life changes sure feel stupid.


Michael Sweet

8Chan, Popular Message Board For Mass Shooters, Goes Dark

8Chan, a message board that has served as a popular resource for right-wing extremists and shooters, has abruptly gone dark after being directly linked to the El Paso shooting that left 20 dead and dozens more wounded. What do you think?

This is a direct attack on my misunderstanding of free speech!


Calista Medrano

This isn't fair to those of us who were just on there for the recipes.


Eric Pace

Calling for a race war on the Neopets forums just isn't the same.


Milo Reeve

Lawmaker Proposes Bill To Curb Social Media Addiction

Senator Josh Hawley (R-MO) introduced a bill on Tuesday that would ban addictive social media features such as infinite scrolling effect and autoplay while introducing a 30 minute limit on such websites. What do you think?

This will just force social media addicts to find more dangerous places to socialize on the streets.


Charlize Vaughan

People will just find something else to be addicted to, like spending time with their kids.


Amanda Sherman

House Republicans Face Exodus

With seven of their colleagues from a wide range of districts announcing their exit from the House of Representatives, Republicans are facing a reckoning that could allow Democrats to make further inroads in 2020. What do you think?

It's sad to see all that gerrymandering go to waste.


Ryan Wills

House Republicans Face Exodus

I welcome any news that means less chance of me needing to vote this election.


Stephen Calvert

House Republicans Face Exodus

But Republicans don't even hit their prime until they're, like, 85!


Taylor Morrison

FBI Opens Domestic Terrorism Investigation Into Gilroy, Dayton Shootings

The FBI will open a domestic terrorism investigation into the individuals responsible for the Gilroy and Dayton shootings after finding suggestions that the suspects were exploring several competing violent ideologies that may have influenced them. What do you think?

This is why I'm waiting until I have a coherent racist belief system to spread domestic terror.


Greg Hutchinson

It seems a little dangerous to just assume that there's a link between violent ideologies and mass shootings.


Sebastian Chamberlain

Let's wait and see if it happens another dozen times this year before jumping to any conclusions.


Shanna Burn

Poll Finds 84% Say Americans Angrier Than Generation Ago

A majority of Americans believe the country is angrier than before, with 42% saying they were angrier now than this time last year, although 91% of respondents individuals were more likely to air their frustrations over social media than in person. What do you think?

Knowing most of these people are probably just mad over some dumb bullshit makes me so angry I could kill them.


Anna Ryder

To be fair, Americans from a generation ago never had to deal with this generation of Americans.


Gerrard Pugh

This seems like an unfair comparison when you consider our parents' generation didn't even have loot boxes.


Erik Denton

Opioid Deaths Declining

Provisional government data suggests deaths in the U.S. caused by the opioid epidemic may finally be declining after a 30-year increase. What do you think?

Wow, my talk at the middle school really did make a difference.


Irving Shields

Opioid Deaths Declining

See? If you ignore an epidemic, it just gets bored after a while.


Fran Russo

Opioid Deaths Declining

I'm glad to hear that as a nation we've finally learned to handle our shit.


Zach Mcintosh

Men And Women Equally Aroused By Pornography, Study Finds

Neural analysis has found that the sexes are equally aroused by viewing pornography, contradicting the commonly held belief that men are more visually inclined in their sexual tendencies. What do you think?

But men are still better at masturbating, correct?


Matthew Lister

That may be true, but no person—man or woman—is as aroused by pornography as me.


Mariam Herring

The beauty of bukkake is truly universal.


Abby Metcalfe

Study Finds Healthy Lifestyle Can Cut Risk Of Developing Alzheimer's By 60%

A new study found that a good diet, adequate exercise, limiting alcohol, and not smoking could cut the risks of developing Alzheimer's or other forms of dementia by 60%. What do you think?

I'm getting sick of researchers expecting me to do things when they should be the one coming up with cures.


Roger Corona

People must really hate Alzheimer's if they're willing to live a long, healthy life to avoid it.


Antony Peralta

So you're saying there's nothing I can do?


Kara Shah

NASA Plans For Small Space Station Orbiting Moon

NASA's Artemis project to return humans to the Moon will include a small space station—dubbed The Gateway—that will orbit the lunar surface for years, providing astronauts with a space to live, research, and plan before heading out for the missions. What do you think?

Yeah, take that moon! Let's see how much you like it when we orbit you for a change!


Eric Mercer

This perfectly manifests humankind's tireless and unending quest for vestibules.


Brad Reese

Great! Living right near the moon will really cut down on the astronauts' commute time.


Maizie Hayes

Poll Finds Climate Change Top Issue For Early State Democratic Voters

A CBS News poll found that 78% of Democratic voters in early primary states rate climate change as a very important issue, putting it ahead of income inequality and jobs, and suggesting environmental action growing increasingly important to left-leaning voters. What do you think?


Atticus Marshall

The eventual nominee better be ready to mention climate change once or twice more in the general election.


Kier Berry

Leave it to Democratic voters to place importance on losing issues like an existential threat to the world.


Ivan Ashley

Independent Voters Unimpressed By Both Trump And Democrats

An NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll found that independent voters remain unconvinced by both the president's and Democrat's plans for the future, although they agree with some liberal platforms such as Medicare for all who want it and universal background checks. What do you think?

They'll change their tune once they get to know the real Tim Ryan.


Layton Battle

I'm a little confused. I thought we all agreed on a dictatorship in, like, March.


Jessica Velez

Of course! This is the one time every four years that I get to feel remotely powerful.


Wilfred Whyte

India's Tiger Population Doubles In Dozen Years

In a significant achievement for the country's wildlife conservation efforts, India's tiger population doubled in the last dozen years despite rapid urbanization. What do you think?

You also have to imagine a few dozen tigers didn't even bother filling out the census.


Ibraheem Holcomb

This just makes the endangered white rhino look like even more of a fuckup.


Iris Dunn

22 States Sue Trump Over EPA Rule Rollback

A coalition of 22 states has sued the Trump administration over its rollback of the Clean Power Plan, arguing that its replacement rules are so weak that they violate federal law. What do you think?


Garrett Morse

The EPA isn't meant to be some kind of environmental protection agency.


Andrew Ayala

Naturally, it's the 22 states with an environment.


Dione Nicholson

Pro-Democracy Hong Kong Protesters Disperse From Airports

Protests in Hong Kong have ended after two days of activism that shut down flights and grew into a violent police standoff, although Beijing has initiated an aggressive disinformation campaign to quell such protests in mainland China. What do you think?

If they want democracy so bad, why don't they vote for it?


Jaden Dolan

I'm in favor of the protests as long as they do them out of the way where they don't bother anyone.


Adam Lutz

Good, because this baby's running out of fuel over the South China Sea and I've gotta bring her down somewhere.


Amy-Louise Torres

Dow Drops 800 Points As Fear Of Recession Looms

The Dow Jones Industrial Average had its worst day of the year thus far, dropping 800 points due to geopolitical turmoil and sluggish growth rates. What do you think?

Hopefully, this doesn't affect the stock market.


Craig Montes

Why do I always pick the worst times to be a part of the global economy?


Tom Byrd

As someone who hates the sight of a red arrow pointing down, I'm getting pretty nervous.


Adam Rennie

Israel Denies Visit To 2 Democrats

Israel decided to prohibit Reps. Ilhan Omar (D-MN) and Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) from visiting Israel due to their support of the BDS movement, although it offered to open the West Bank to Tlaib for a strictly humanitarian visit to her grandmother, a visit that she turned down out of protest. What do you think?

See, this is why I never stand up for my beliefs.


Amelia Bolton

Israel Denies Visit To 2 Democrats

Ooh, they should go to Greece instead—it's beautiful this time of year!


Karl McKeown

Israel Denies Visit To 2 Democrats

You can still get really good falafel in the D.C. area.


Missy Slater

John Hickenlooper Drops Out Of Presidential Race

Former Colorado Gov. John Hickenlooper announced that he will drop out of the 2020 presidential race in order to pursue a bid for Senate. What do you think?

No! Jesus Christ, no. Fuck! No! No! No! No! Goddamn it!


Noah Sykes

I think he has a great shot at polling above 1% in Colorado.


Marco Sharp

The star that burns twice as bright burns half as long.


Peter Wright

Trump Advisor Confirms Administration Looking Into Buying Greenland

Top White House economic adviser Larry Kudlow said on Fox News Sunday that the White House is looking into the possibility of buying Greenland, despite the fact that Greenland's government recently confirmed that the island was not for sale. What do you think?

Since when does the U.S. government pay for the land it takes?


Rosalind Kemp

If Greenland isn't going to exploit that land to the fullest, then they don't deserve it.


Craig McPherson

A little retail therapy is just what this nation needs to get its groove back.


Millicent Howell

Ebola Drugs Show 90% Survival Rate

In a positive development for future and current outbreaks, experimental trials found that individuals have a 90% survival rate when treated with a new set of antibody-based Ebola treatments called REGN-EB3 and mAb114, which will now be deployed to all outbreak patients in the Democratic Republic of Congo. What do you think?

I've been saying that there's never been a better time to contract Ebola.


Yusuf Frey

Ebola Drugs Show 90% Survival Rate

It's too dangerous to give people an experimental treatment without a viable profit model in place first.


Greg Swift

Ebola Drugs Show 90% Survival Rate

Let me guess: you can't drink while you're on it. No thanks.


Cyrus Powell

Swiss Scientists Develop Cat Allergy Vaccine

HypoPet AG, a Swiss-based company, announced it has developed a vaccine called HypoCat that can be administered to cats to neutralize allergy-causing dander. What do you think?

But my cat allergy is such a huge part of my personality.


Perry Feeney

Well, now I have to come up with another excuse for hating cats.


Aaron Wright

Four Tons Of Pot Found Buried In Jalapeños

San Diego authorities uncovered nearly four tons of marijuana smuggled beneath a shipment of jalapeños at the Otay Mesa Port of Entry. What do you think?

Oh God, I have to report on this story and I have no idea how to type that 'n' with the wavy line over it.


Alysia Maddox

Great, now I've gotta find another jalapeños guy.


Andrew Mendez

I bet those crooked Border Patrol officers plan on keeping all those jalapeños for themselves.


Suzanna Lam

Trump Says Any Jewish Person Voting For Democrat Shows 'Great Disloyalty'

President Trump on Tuesday said that any Jewish person who votes Democrat shows either a total lack of knowledge or great disloyalty, drawing criticism from those who said the president's remarks were evoking an anti-Semitic stereotype. What do you think?

Oh please, the president simply meant that a vast majority of Jews are either stupid or actively pledging allegiance to another country.


Ted Watts

See? A real anti-Semite never would've implied there's a small minority of trustworthy Jews.


Eric Kearns

The Torah is very clear that only Republican Jews are God's chosen people.


Phyllis Ali

James Bond 25 Gets Title, Release Date

The new James Bond will be titled No Time To Die and released in April 2020, according to a social media announcement about the film, which will see Daniel Craig's character recruited from a vacation in Jamaica to thwart a global plot. What do you think?

Great, another big budget sequel instead of a grounded, original dramedy about James Bond.


Stephen Dotson

James Bond 25 Gets Title, Release Date

Now I can rest easy knowing a movie coming out in a year found its title.


Kevin Sosa

James Bond 25 Gets Title, Release Date

I hope this one ties up the loose plot threads from 'Spectre,' 'Moonraker,' 'Thunderball,' 'The Spy Who Loved Me,' and 'Goldeneye.'


Manny Mullen

New Trump Policy Would Permit Indefinite Detention Of Migrant Families

The Trump administration has announced it is ending a federal court agreement that limits detainment of migrant families with children to 20 days, although the new policy will almost certainly be challenged in court. What do you think?

These indefinite detentions should be going to hardworking Americans!


Cherie Peel

The best way of ensuring migrants don't burden society is paying to guard, shelter, and confine them in perpetuity.


Leyla Mccarthy

Poll: Half Of Trump Voters Would Blame Him For Recession

A poll released Wednesday found that 42% of respondents who voted for Trump in 2016 would hold him partially responsible for an economic downturn, and another 7% said he would be solely responsible. What do you think?

This might seem like bad news, but don't forget Trump is always at his best when he feels besieged from all sides and confused and thinks everyone is out to get him.


Bryson Finnegan

Hey, one mistake during an entire first term as president doesn't seem so bad.


Kristy Downes

People love to put the blame on others for their personal economic downturns.


Ainsley Cantrell

Bernie Sanders Launches $16 Trillion Climate Plan

Democratic 2020 contender Bernie Sanders announced the most expansive climate plan among the field, spending $16 trillion to decarbonize the economy by 2050 and allegedly creating 20 million jobs, although the plan does not include technologies such as nuclear power or carbon sequestration. What do you think?

How's he going to pay for it? And don't tell me to read the explanation of how he's going to pay for it.


Leo Mohammed

$16 trillion? From what disproportionate military budget are we gonna get that kind of money?


Steven Valdez

Jesus, when I said we should do something about climate change, I meant maybe a little more recycling.


Theo Forbes

Sarah Huckabee Sanders To Join Fox News As Contributor

Former White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced she will will join Fox News as a contributor next month, increasing the ties between the White House and that network. What do you think?

Hopefully, all that power over the president doesn't go to her head.


Marnie Hartley

If she plays her cards right, this could be a stepping stone to a job in the Trump administration.


Andrew Tucker

Oh sure, an effervescent personality like hers was made for showbiz.


Monika Dalton

Republican Joe Walsh Announces 2020 Primary Challenge To Trump

Conservative radio show host and former representative Joe Walsh announced he will run against President Trump in 2020, presenting himself as a more palatable alternative after apologizing for a rash of controversial past statements such as questioning President Obama's religion and calling him a Muslim. What do you think?

Ugh, as if it wasn't hard enough deciding between Bernie and Warren.


Elle-May Salas

I'm fed up. It's time to put a different racist in the White House.


Brodie Whyte

Good. GOP voters deserve a substantive primary debate about the issue of Obama's birthplace.


Steven Rich

Obama Releases Summer Playlist

As it has become a yearly tradition, former president Barack Obama released a playlist of his and Michelle's favorite songs of the summer, featuring musicians including Lizzo, Maggie Rogers, and Lil Nas X. What do you think?


Sasha Arnold

Obama Releases Summer Playlist

In these trying times, it's great to see a former head of state come out strongly in support of all the top-10 hits.