Ryan Hodapp

Google, GoDaddy Pull Registration For Neo-Nazi Site

After a post criticizing the victim of the Charlottesville terror attack, GoDaddy and Google both suspended neo-Nazi site the Daily Stormer's registration services. What do you think?

They could easily get around this by starting their own hosting company. Or by stopping being Nazis.


Angela Sobczak

It's inspiring to know a company is willing to choose principles over a $14.99 domain renewal fee.


Colin Knox

Does that mean dailystormer.com is available now?


Jeremy Hamann

Sex And The City' Star Considering NY Governor Run

Actress Cynthia Nixon, who portrayed Miranda on HBO's Sex and the City, is reportedly considering running in the 2018 New York gubernatorial election. What do you think?

This seems like more of a Charlotte move.


Marissa Oxley

I'm withholding judgment until I've seen every candidate's audition tape.


Glen Carew

And people say there are no good gubernatorial roles for women in their 50s.


Ken Jalali

Disney Unveils Plans For 'Immersive' Star Wars Hotel

Disney has announced plans for an immersive Star Wars hotel featuring ship-themed room designs and interactive role-playing scenarios for guests. What do you think?

And yet no one wants to spend the night in my Star Wars-themed bedroom.


Adam Marfield

I'm for any world that takes me out of this one.


Michelle Vernon

No thanks. Motel 6 is cheaper and you see much weirder, scarier characters.


Claire Stamatelaky

Study Finds 1 In 8 Americans Abusing Alcohol

Warning that the situation is a worsening public health crisis on par with the opioid epidemic, a study has found that 1 in 8 Americans now suffer from alcohol abuse. What do you think?

The first step to recovery is admitting your problem to statisticians.


Alden Penfield

Did this study take into account how many of those surveyed can quit any time?


Mike Deforest

On the plus side, that leaves 7 out of 8 Americans who should be available to designated drive this weekend.


Caitlin Goldberg

Man Misidentified As Charlottesville Terrorist Suing Right-Wing News Sites

A Michigan man who received death threats after several right-wing sites misidentified him as the Charlottesville terrorist is reportedly suing the sites who spread the false information. What do you think?

This is why publishers need to be extra careful about who they encourage their audience to kill.


Josh Torres

That seems excessive. After all, those reporters were just doing their jobs terribly.


Richard Sewell

Was it Walter Cronkite or Edward R. Murrow who said 'Look, somebody did it. Why not this guy?'


Frank Choy

Trump's Childhood Home Listed On Airbnb

Donald Trump's childhood home in Queens is available to rent on Airbnb for $725 a night, with the listing's owner inviting guests to sleep in the bedroom where Trump was likely conceived. What do you think?

I'm going to need something more definitive than 'likely conceived' if I'm going to shell out $725 a night.


Terrence Hess

Trump's Childhood Home Listed On Airbnb

Wow. Imagine how much more it'd cost if he hadn't lived there.


Kate Breiner

Trump's Childhood Home Listed On Airbnb

Oh, these tourist traps will tell you Trump's parents fucked anywhere.


Shawn Mackie

Fleas Carrying Bubonic Plague Found In Arizona

After fleas in two Arizona counties tested positive for bubonic plague, officials have warned residents to avoid contact with wild animals that could be carrying the insects. What do you think?

There go my weekend plans of rolling around with coyotes.


Lisa Rainone

Now that you mention it, Arizona has seemed more wretched and serf-like, lately.


Peter Hirschman

Between this and violent religious strife, the Middle Ages are really having a moment.


Scott Retherford

Costco Forced To Pay $19 Million For Selling Fake Tiffany Rings

A court has ordered Costco to pay $19 million after finding that engagement rings sold by the warehouse retailer violated luxury jeweler Tiffany's trademark. What do you think?

I can see proposing in a Costco, sure. But buying a ring there just seems tacky.


Nancy Eakins

I hope this doesn't mean there's more bad news coming about their too-good-to-be-true deals on sweatpants.


Jonah Iscoe

Fake? But I spent half a day's salary on that ring.


Cathy Robinson

Trump To Skip Kennedy Center Honors

After multiple honorees threatened a boycott, the White House announced President Trump would skip the Kennedy Center Honors so that artists could celebrate without any political distraction. What do you think?


Amos Fichtner

Trump To Skip Kennedy Center Honors

The president deserves to be given credit for this graceful gesture, preferably before he undoes it by saying God-knows-what.


Kevin Judge

Trump To Skip Kennedy Center Honors

No one should have to choose between supporting the president and supporting Lionel Richie.


David Krol

Prince Honored With New Shade Of Purple

In honor of Prince, the Pantone Color Institute has announced a new shade of purple named Love Symbol #2, after the late musician's logo. What do you think?

New colors? These motherfuckers have been holding out on us.


Brandon Latimer

Prince Honored With New Shade Of Purple

Prince would be honored to have such a large corporation go through all that trouble just to profit off his death.


Katie Gulya

Prince Honored With New Shade Of Purple

So then what's taking the National Weather Service so long to come up with a new, commemorative type of rain?


John Sharp

Six Flags Removes Confederate Flag

Amid increasing controversy over Confederate monuments, Six Flags has removed the Confederate flag from its Texas and Georgia locations. What do you think?

This sullies the memory of all those who fell in the Battle of Saw Mill Log Flume.


Anthony Gusta

Six Flags Removes Confederate Flag

They can take the flag off the pole, but not off the t-shirt of the sweaty, balding man waiting in line for funnel cake.


Lynn Wescott

Six Flags Removes Confederate Flag

Next time I hear the words 'Six Flags controversy' there had better be some accidental decapitations involved.


Dan Hinton

Studies Find Marijuana Not Effective For Chronic Pain

Despite the increasing use of the drug to treat a variety of conditions, two new studies have found little evidence that marijuana helps with chronic pain. What do you think?

This is the kind of news that could spontaneously change my chronic pain into glaucoma.


Logan Crehan

You mean we've been decriminalizing a mostly harmless drug for nothing?


Caitlin King

Just be patient. The best shit always takes a minute to kick in.


Josephine Fusco

German Police Seize 5,000 Trump-Shaped Ecstasy Pills

Estimating the drugs' total street value at roughly 39,000 euros, German police announced they've seized 5,000 orange Trump-shaped ecstasy pills. What do you think?

I just don't see the connection between Trump and something that seems like it could be fun but leaves you feeling depressed and disgusted later.


Nathan Lambrides

Illegal drugs might never recover from the damage this association will do to their brand.


Tim Gaylon

It's official: This presidency just got slightly peculiar.


Sara Knefel

Chuck E. Cheese's Retiring Animatronic House Band

In an attempt to modernize, Chuck E. Cheese's is phasing out Munch's Make Believe Band, the restaurant and arcade chain's long-time animatronic animal band. What do you think?

I'm hoping this doesn't reduce demand for my Mr. Munch tribute group.


Kyle Bigelow

Better to quit at the top of their game like this than devolve into a depressing nostalgia act.


Patrick Purcell

I guess the music industry really has changed.


John Burgauer

Slender Man Stabbing' Suspect Pleads Guilty

One of the Wisconsin girls charged with stabbing her classmate to appease the fictional internet character Slender Man has pled guilty to attempted murder. What do you think?

This case really highlights the dangers of believing everything you see on the internet no matter how stupid.


Zack Kalos

When choosing a sentence, I hope the court follows the precedent established in all the relevant fan fiction.


Lindsay Sheff

Yeah, when I was that age I did some pretty crazy stuff to impress guys too.


Martin Opsal

Study: Exxon Misled Public On Climate Change

A study of ExxonMobil communications from 1977 to 2014 found that the company routinely downplayed the risks of climate change in public while acknowledging them in private. What do you think?

To be fair, if they hadn't lied they might've made way less money.


Carly George

What matters is that they're making up for their past mistakes now by refusing to acknowledge them.


Dale Maloney

And their restrooms aren't the cleanest, either.


Beth Jacobson

Disney Launching Own Streaming Services

The Walt Disney Company has announced it will launch its own streaming services in 2018 and 2019, ending its current partnership with Netflix. What do you think?

I'm not sure my old roommate whose accounts I use can afford another streaming service.


David Feitel

Disney Launching Own Streaming Services

Netflix is fine, but Disney is much better positioned to leverage the unbridled possibility and magic of childhood into an original streaming content platform.


Mike Hammond

Disney Launching Own Streaming Services

Aw, but I don't want to learn about a new thing.


Julia McLeete

Eleanor Rigby' Grave For Sale

The grave of the woman after whom the Beatles' Eleanor Rigby is named is going up for auction, theoretically allowing whoever wins to be buried beside her remains. What do you think?

But who'd want to be buried next to a lonely old loser like that?


Tyler Radlow

Eleanor Rigby' Grave For Sale

This does seem like the easiest way to ensure at least somebody visits my grave.


Cameron Dickinson

Eleanor Rigby' Grave For Sale

Finally, an excuse not to be interred next to my wife.


Burt Sheridan

Poor Sleep Might Contribute To Dementia

A new study has found that poor sleep correlates with higher levels of beta amyloid proteins in the blood, a risk factor for Alzheimer's and dementia. What do you think?

Even worse, it can make you really grumpy the next day.


Dany Levy

Poor Sleep Might Contribute To Dementia

Good luck to any researchers trying to sort out the effects of my poor sleep from my smoking, high cholesterol, depression, and alcoholism.


Tom Sinton

Poor Sleep Might Contribute To Dementia

I guess I have no choice but to call off my plans to start waking up earlier to exercise.


Dale Mitchum

Study: World Could Run Entirely On Renewable Energy By 2050

According to a new study, existing renewable energy technologies would be sufficient to convert every country on earth to 100 percent clean energy by 2050. What do you think?

Well sure, things could always be better if we made an effort to fix them.


Nick Goodall

My money's still on being clubbed to death in the resource wars of 2036.


Sarah Bernal

Gross. I don't want someone else's hand-me-down energy.


Matt Cylkowski

Showtime Sued Over Poor Quality Stream Of Mayweather-McGregor Fight

Customers have filed a class-action suit against Showtime over its pay-per-view stream of Saturday's fight between Floyd Mayweather and Conor McGregor, which reportedly suffered from low video quality and excessive buffering. What do you think?

So the fighters didn't suddenly stop in the middle of the second round and stare at each other motionlessly for 15 minutes?


Rachel Keeley

Serves them right for shelling out $99.99 when you can watch people fight on the internet for free.


Andrew Chamberlain

My bookie is giving me three-to-one that this settles out of court.


Claire Brandau

Steven Soderbergh Making 'Choose Your Own Adventure' Show

Mosaic, an upcoming project between HBO and Steven Soderbergh, will reportedly involve an interactive app that lets viewers choose their own path through the show's story. What do you think?

I've always wished that watching TV was more difficult.


Curtis Goodall

No thanks. I have enough on my plate already without having to be responsible for creating a satisfying narrative resolution.


Gus Hauer

Ugh, you can just tell this is going to be a huge pain in the ass to pirate.


Tracy Hebel

Actor Quits Hellboy Reboot Over Whitewashing Controversy

British actor Ed Skrein has quit the Hellboy reboot after objections to his being cast as a supporting character depicted as Asian in the original comics. What do you think?

It's high time Hollywood started casting more minorities in small supporting roles.


Jack Wigfield

Good. Hellboy deserves a sidekick who doesn't cut and run at the first sign of social media outrage.


Ryan Weyandt

I honestly don't care who they put in movies as long as they're sexy enough to make me forget my boring life for two hours.


Tim Wilczyk

U.S. Box Office Has Worst Weekend Since 9/11 Aftermath

With ticket sales totaling only $65 million, this past weekend was the worst for the U.S. box office since just after the September 11th attacks. What do you think?


Mark Gallardo

It's humbling to realize that the $13 you spent seeing 'Brigsby Bear' just doesn't count for much in this crazy world.


Holly Du

Don't blame me. I'm racking up as many bullshit ticket surcharges as I possibly can.


Hannah Leibold

Google Offering Depression Test

To encourage more sufferers to seek treatment, Google is now offering a quiz for users to check their own depression symptoms when searching for information about the disease. What do you think?

This should help remedy the current problem of Google not having nearly enough info about me.


Pete Winspear

Google Offering Depression Test

Thanks, but if I were actually interested in addressing my mental health problems I wouldn't be spending so much time online.


Samuel Moorhead

Google Offering Depression Test

As if Google could ever care about a pathetic failure like me.


Megan Hindley

FDA Cracking Down On Unapproved Stem Cell Treatments

With stem cell therapy rapidly expanding in recent years, the FDA announced it's tightening rules on clinics using unapproved or unsafe stem cell treatments. What do you think?

I can't believe they would rob the desperately ill of the opportunity to be taken advantage of like this.


Patrick Ng

I was wondering why all those stem cell injections weren't improving my jump shot.


Devin Bustos

But my stem cell therapist is the only one who really listens to my genomic anxieties.


Rebecca Parnes

Treasury Secretary Reneges On Plan To Put Harriet Tubman On $20 Bill

Trump Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin has refused to say whether he'll follow through on the Obama administration's 2016 plan to put Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill. What do you think?

Does Trump not realize how going along with this one thing could give him the cover to do way more consequential racist stuff?


Jake Thiesen

To be fair, she did abscond with the legal property of a lot of American citizens.


Ben Tibesar

After so many years, isn't it finally time we continue to honor whites?


Lisa Paulet

$900 Million Lawsuit Might Hinge On Whether Ghosts Real

A $900 million lawsuit over the rights to The Conjuring horror franchise could hinge on whether the films are based on real or fictional events, and thus whether or not ghosts are real. What do you think?

I expect a just verdict, assuming they select a jury with equal numbers drawn from the living and the dead.


Chris Wundrock

This could completely reverse the precedent set by the City of New York vs. Vigo the Carpathian.


Randall Lynch

This is my divorce trial all over again.


Samuel Carden

FDA Approves Ecstasy As 'Breakthrough' PTSD Treatment

The FDA has designated MDMA as a breakthrough treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, announcing they will move the drug through the approval process as fast as possible. What do you think?

I'm available to participate in a clinical trial at Lollapalooza Berlin on September 9.


Melanie Garlock

Well sure, everything feels like a breakthrough when you've been rolling for a solid three hours.


Stan Hines

I didn't even know we were taking care of veterans again.


Vanessa Quinn

Sister Announces Prince's Favorite Color Was Orange

Despite the late musician's long-standing association with purple, Prince's sister Tyka Nelson has stated that his favorite color was actually orange. What do you think?

I knew he was only with purple for appearances' sake.


Andrew Fusco

If you really listen to the subtext in his lyrics, this has always been painfully obvious.


Jason Audette

I also heard he thought sex was just okay.


Cynthia Martinson

Climate Change Stunting Growth Of Fish

A new study warns that rising oceanic temperatures due to climate change are stunting the growth of fish and exacerbating global fishing shortages. What do you think?

Thanks for the warning, but I can barely muster the energy to care about how climate change is affecting people.


Benjamin Hewitt

Climate Change Stunting Growth Of Fish

You'd think all those glaciers melting into the ocean would have cooled things off by now.


Todd Phipps

Climate Change Stunting Growth Of Fish


Beth Adenusi

Elon Musk Warns AI Could Lead To World War III

Following similar comments by Vladimir Putin, SpaceX CEO Elon Musk has warned that the push for more advanced artificial intelligence could lead to World War III. What do you think?

What'll that old coot get all worked up about next?


Chris Fanelli

Really? My self-programming thermostat assured me its intentions were peaceful.


Steve Hollenkamp

Don't spoil it! I want World War III to be a surprise.


Jessica Elzie

Studio Developing Female-Centered 'Lord Of The Flies' Remake

Warner Bros. is developing a female-centric adaptation of William Golding's Lord of the Flies, about a group of schoolboys descending into savagery after being stranded on a remote island. What do you think?

But if there aren't any men on the island who are the girls supposed to fall in love with?


Kyle Bornstein

I'm glad my daughters will be able to see that they too can serve as a microcosm of humanity's failings.


Justin Sheff

That's fine as long as Piggy still gets it.


Lauren Clancy

Hurricane Irma Most Powerful Atlantic Storm In History

With winds of over 150 mph, Hurricane Irma is now the most powerful Atlantic Ocean storm in recorded history. What do you think?

This is a huge stride for female-named storms of all kinds.


Luke Silha

Wow. Just imagine how bad an even worse storm would be.


Marilyn O'Brien

Disney Fires 'Star Wars: Episode IX' Director

Only weeks after replacing the directors of the upcoming Han Solo spinoff film, Disney has also removed Colin Trevorrow as the director of Star Wars: Episode IX. What do you think?

Too bad. I was really looking forward to shredding him to pieces for spoiling my memories of the original trilogy.


Connor Sutliff

Hopefully the next director gives them the version of a bigger Death Star that they're looking for.


Ben Bershad

I don't care about any of the real people involved. Just tell me what happens to Luke Skywalker.


Michael Reece

Clinton Memoir Cites Reasons For Election Loss

In her memoir about the 2016 election, What Happened, Hillary Clinton reportedly accepts blame for her loss, but also cites sexism, Russian election meddling, and other factors. What do you think?

I'm glad she's finally owning up to the role she played in getting millions more votes than her opponent.


Brad Connelly

How does she expect to win over her critics when she continues to say, write, and think things?


Samantha Huth

I just hope she can find the strength to forgive sexism.


Nicole Zigmund

Miss North Dakota Crowned Miss America For First Time

Brown University graduate and aspiring law student Cara Mund is the first Miss North Dakota ever to win the Miss America pageant. What do you think?

It is truly inspiring to see a graduate of Brown accomplish something.


Brad Cutler

Now she can have her pick of any man in Grand Forks.


Leon Coppock

I can't believe our society still sanctions something as wrongheaded and archaic as North Dakota.


Beth Weyman

Los Angeles Painting Streets White To Offset Climate Change

In a plan to lower the city's temperature by 3 degrees over the next 20 years, Los Angeles is coating its roads in a white paint called CoolSeal, which causes them to absorb less heat. What do you think?

This is exactly the kind of piecemeal measure requiring no effort on my part that we need in the fight against climate change.


Colin Endres

Are we sure the benefits of avoiding environmental catastrophe really offset the costs of extra paint?


Stan Bisek

It' Sets Box-Office Record For Horror Film

The new adaptation of Stephen King's 'It' earned $123 million in its opening weekend, the biggest opening for a horror film in history. What do you think?

You have to give the studio credit for taking a chance on a property that had only been adapted once or twice before.


Emily Lautner

I guess I just don't see what's so scary about a non-localized demonic entity that appears in the form of whatever the viewer fears most.


Amos Vali

Apple Unveils iPhone X

As well as the iPhone 8 and 8 Plus, Apple has unveiled the deluxe iPhone X, which includes several upgraded features and does away with the home button. What do you think?

Apple is so ahead of the curve that the iPhone 8 is outdated before it's even available.


Jeff Watkins

Apple Unveils iPhone X

You say 'upgraded features' like that isn't just a bunch of new things I have to learn how to use.


Barbara Kalos

Apple Unveils iPhone X

So those 10 years of cultivating my home button skills were all for nothing?


Patricia Snowden

Space Weather May Have Caused Mass Whale Deaths

A rash of sperm whale deaths in 2016 may have been caused by solar storms interfering with the animals' navigation systems, leading them to beach themselves accidentally. What do you think?

But space is usually so lovely that time of year.


Dan Rankin

These whales need to take responsibility for themselves and not follow every magnetic impulse they have.


Gerald Abbott

Hopefully the court accepts a similar explanation for why I was driving my truck on the sidewalk like that.


Frank Eakins

Martin Shkreli Jailed Over Clinton Hair Bounty

A judge has jailed Pharma Bro Martin Shkreli while he awaits sentencing for securities fraud after he offered a $5,000 bounty for samples of Hillary Clinton's hair. What do you think?

There used to be a time when demanding a woman's hair was just called flirting.


Stan Ippolito

I am so sick of the justice system disproportionately targeting pharma bros.


Carol Palmer

Hopefully someday he'll be able to look back at all of this and smirk.


Anthony Conlin

Study: Mice Healthier On Extremely High-Fat Diet

Scientists found that mice lived longer, healthier lives on a diet consisting of 90 percent pure fat, although they did not recommend humans attempt to replicate the diet. What do you think?

Sure, you can eat however you want when you're hitting the Habitrail five or six days a week.


Betsy Manchin

Oh yeah? Well we'll just see which one of us is still kicking in 12-24 months.


Ryan Nawara

If eating these mice is what it takes to live healthier and longer, I'll do it.


Evan Gulatz

Facebook Allowed Advertisers To Target 'Jew Haters'

A ProPublica report revealed Facebook's algorithmically generated ad categories made it possible for marketers to reach 'Jew Haters' and other anti-Semitic groups. What do you think?

You can't expect Facebook to closely monitor every racist service it provides.


Nicole Wollmering

I hate the way Facebook's algorithm emphasizes anti-Semitic video content over racist written content.


Jeff Barden

This makes me so mad I almost don't even want to know what deals they were offering.


Mark Kraft

Sean Spicer Appears On Stage At Emmys

Drawing complaints from liberal critics, Sean Spicer participated in the opening monologue of last night's Emmy Awards, parodying his remarks on Trump's inauguration. What do you think?

It's always classy when someone can poke fun at their role as a mouthpiece for corruption and hatred.


Martha Patten

Sean Spicer Appears On Stage At Emmys

I'm glad we're finally ready to look back on and laugh at what's still happening now.


Nelson Cutler

Sean Spicer Appears On Stage At Emmys

This might just be the publicity coup that gets Spicer back into the White House.


Justine Procknow

New Shot Could Deliver Several Vaccines At Once

Researchers have developed a syringe full of microscopic capsules that could deliver several vaccinations at once, greatly reducing the number of injections required. What do you think?

It's smart of them to play the different types of autism off each other like that.


Chris Hurley

This could be a huge blow to the alcohol swab industry.


Andrew Rolfes

No way. For what I pay for healthcare, I want my child to be stuck with as many different needles as possible.


Adam Farnworth

Rolling Stone' Magazine Up For Sale

Wenner Media is selling its controlling stake in Rolling Stone, saying the iconic music magazine needs new investment to keep up with the changing media landscape. What do you think?

What an amazing opportunity to break into a dying industry.


Kelly Shiplett

Rolling Stone' Magazine Up For Sale

In-depth features, investigative reporting—they just don't understand today's reader.


Gerald Hanna

Rolling Stone' Magazine Up For Sale

Nothing encourages new investment in a business like announcing you don't want anything to do with it anymore.


Todd Hogan

Pet Turtles Linked To Salmonella Outbreak

A multi-state salmonella outbreak has been traced to pet turtles, whose skin often harbors the bacteria, with authorities warning against handling the animals or giving them as gifts. What do you think?

This is why I always remember to cook mine thoroughly.


Jared Romanos

I picked the worst time to open a whole bunch of turtle stores.


Linda Burdette

Um, I think you mean members of the family turtles linked to salmonella outbreak.


Claire Hauck

Toys 'R' Us Files For Bankruptcy

With billions in outstanding debt, Toys 'R' Us has filed for bankruptcy, an announcement that also caused the stock price of toymakers Hasbro and Mattel to fall. What do you think?

Really? They seemed to be doing so well when I was last there 20 years ago.


Evan Foreman

Toys 'R' Us Files For Bankruptcy

Today's five-year-olds just don't have the same purchasing power they used to.


Jason Kwederis

Toys 'R' Us Files For Bankruptcy

Maybe if they turned that 'R' around they'd have a little more credibility on Wall Street.


Andrew Choy

Mnuchin Requested Government Plane For Honeymoon

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin is facing criticism for requesting the use of a $25,000-per-hour government jet for his honeymoon earlier this summer. What do you think?

It's like the old saying goes: Love is blindingly unethical.


Brandon Carby

I guess if an official is going to waste taxpayer money, it might as well be the one who's authorized to print more of it.


Amy Sinon

U.S. Heroin Deaths Up 533%

The number of heroin overdose deaths in the U.S. has increased by 533 percent since 2002, with officials attributing most of the rise to the drug becoming much more potent. What do you think?

They should really make this stuff illegal.


Mitchell Adler

U.S. Heroin Deaths Up 533%

This is why we need to educate kids about drugs, as well as a healthcare system that routinely overprescribes painkillers.


Stewart Kantor

U.S. Heroin Deaths Up 533%

How come nothing good ever jumps by 533 percent?


David Pielocik

Tesla Unveiling Electric Semi-Truck

Although the vehicle won't be available for years, Tesla has announced plans for an electric semi-truck, which the company vows will reduce cargo transport costs. What do you think?

How far can it drive on a single charge, keeping in mind that I'm a real chatterbox on the CB radio?


Rachel McGann

Tesla Unveiling Electric Semi-Truck

I'll hold off until I see whether it's compatible with my Yosemite Sam mud flaps.


Mark Coalson

Tesla Unveiling Electric Semi-Truck

Elon Musk should just stick to what he does best: rocket science, online commerce, neurological research, artificial intelligence, tunneling, and electric passenger vehicles.


Brad Doliveux

Facebook Turning Over Russia-Backed Election Ads To Congress

After revelations that the site had sold thousands of 2016 election ads to accounts linked to a Russian troll farm, Facebook promised to turn over the ads to Congress. What do you think?

What makes people think Congress would be some sort of expert on shady political dealings?


Doug Siebers

I'd like to flag a few suspicious MeUndies ads too, as long as they're checking.


Lauren Sullivan

Pfft. No one does their election interference through Facebook anymore.


Natalie Winter

NFL Reducing Head Injuries With Flexible Helmet

With pressure mounting to reduce brain trauma among players, the NFL has debuted a new flexible, shock-absorbing helmet known as the Vicis Zero1. What do you think?

This will only encourage players to ram their heads into even harder surfaces.


Brad Quackenbush

If this doesn't solve the problem, at least the NFL can always go back to saying there isn't one.


Anthony Katers

I can't wait to see my favorite players out on the town in their new helmets!


Noah Gerber

Game Of Thrones' To Film Multiple Series Endings

In order to guard against leaks, HBO is reportedly filming multiple endings for Game of Thrones, so even the show's cast will be unsure what really happens in the series finale. What do you think?

I hope they go with the most critically acclaimed ending.


Maya Sadowski

Now that you've told me the show is going to end with something or other happening the entire series is spoiled for me.


Donna Kalos

Trump Decries Wave Of NFL Protests

After President Trump condemned NFL players for kneeling during the national anthem to protest police brutality, hundreds more players, as well as owners and coaches, joined the protests Sunday. What do you think?

These players should show more reverence for American liberty by respecting the things that crassly commercialize it.


Andy Siegel

Trump Decries Wave Of NFL Protests

I wish these players would stay out of politics and focus on my fantasy team.


Matt Ewert

Trump Decries Wave Of NFL Protests

I'd wondered what that song was that's always playing while I'm buying beer.


Scott Bornstein

Avril Lavigne Rated 'Most Dangerous Celebrity' To Search For Online

Pop star Avril Lavigne has been named the most dangerous celebrity online by McAfee, based on the number of malware sites that appear when searching for the singer. What do you think?

No one ever said Avril Lavigne fandom was going to be a walk in the park.


Jim Larpenteur

That's why I have a second computer for all my Avril Lavigne-related activity.


Rachel Fernandez

I knew her music was just for the bad boys.


Dave Boozan

Trump Duped By Fake Iranian Missile Launch

Officials say video of a supposed Iranian missile test last week, which prompted an angry tweet from President Trump, was actually footage from a failed launch last January. What do you think?

That's why you should always check snopes.com before ordering a counterstrike.


Ryan Lordes

It's the president's duty to protect America from all threats, both real and imagined.


Amy Regan

Yikes. That has to be pretty embarrassing for the country that elected him.


Douglas Chern

Saudi Arabia Lifts Ban On Women Drivers

Saudi Arabia announced Tuesday that it would allow women to obtain a driver's license, ending the country's longstanding ban on female drivers. What do you think?

What a great leap forward for Saudi men who need some errands run.


Ronald Levine

Saudi Arabia Lifts Ban On Women Drivers

Hopefully this makes it twice as easy to bum a ride to the historic ruins of Mada'in Saleh.


Tricia Hagerty

Saudi Arabia Lifts Ban On Women Drivers

And yet in Oregon I'm still not allowed to pump my own gas.


Dana Monsour

Amazon Notifies Customers About Non-Existent Baby Registries

Due to a technical glitch, many Amazon customers received notifications that someone had purchased items on their baby registries, including many who didn't have registries and have never been pregnant. What do you think?

I didn't think I was pregnant, but I trust Amazon.


Jared Carden

For a minute I was worried Amazon knew something I didn't, besides every single thing I will ever need or want to buy.


Bill Coker

To be fair, most real pregnancies are also the result of a technical glitch.


Andrew Schoepke

Hugh Hefner Dead At 91

Playboy Magazine founder Hugh Hefner, a figure seen as both a prominent chauvinist and an important free speech advocate, has passed away at age 91. What do you think?

I always admired his stances on LGBT rights, racial equality, and collecting women in giant sex mansions.


Katie Vandruska

Hugh Hefner Dead At 91

He did so much to make the world more sex-with-nubile-18-year-olds-positive.


Carl Coppock

Hugh Hefner Dead At 91

This will be my most tasteless Halloween costume yet.


Greta Burgauer

Gatorade Fined Over Mobile Game That Disparaged Water

California has fined Gatorade over their mobile game Bolt!, which warned players to keep their performance level up by drinking Gatorade and avoiding water. What do you think?

Why can't they just let you shoot a bunch of people like a normal game?


Daniel Fenton

I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding. No corporation would knowingly tell us to do something unhealthy.


Zach Austin

Before you ask me to take sides, just know that my brother never drowned in Gatorade.


Henry Bixenspan

Saudi Official Fired Over Picture Of Yoda In Textbook

A Saudi official has been fired for approving a history textbook featuring a picture of Star Wars character Yoda sitting next to the country's King Faisal at a 1945 UN conference. What do you think?


Laura Scott

This isn't going to help relations between the Saudis and the Jedi one bit.


Dave McNamee

While we're at it, I'm a little skeptical about this so-called 'King Faisal,' too.


Danielle Kantor

CVS Limiting Opioid Prescriptions To Seven Days

To curb abuse, CVS announced it will limit opioid prescriptions to seven days, which research suggests helps patients avoid becoming dependent on the drugs. What do you think?

But I want to feel good longer than that!


Chris Ranweiler

Can't we just ramp up mandatory minimums again?


Damien Antonucci

If CVS thinks I can't get addicted to something in seven days, CVS doesn't know me.


Nicole Fisch

Experts Warn Against Eyeball Tattoo Trend

After a model took to social media to talk about her own botched eyeball tattoo, experts have warned against the practice, which can cause permanent damage, including blindness. What do you think?

I'll have to weigh this testimony against the compelling evidence that it would look sick.


Dan Cerezo

Why does it seem like doctors never come out in support of a dangerous new trend?


Simon Carr

If these experts can think of a better way to honor my grandfather's memory I'm all ears.


Devin Fransee

Google, Facebook Spread Misinformation About Las Vegas Shooting

In the aftermath of Sunday's mass shooting in Las Vegas, both Facebook and Google's algorithms spread false reports to users, including stories that misidentified the shooter. What do you think?

In their defense, they did get the fake information out there pretty fast.


Jeff Carrillo

When I'm trying to figure out where to send a death threat I can't wait for traditionally fact-checked reports.


Margaret Miccio

If I can't tell the difference between a real story and a hoax spread by white supremacists, it seems unfair to expect a computer to.


Barbara Wundrock

Twitter Testing 280-Character Limit

Twitter has begun expanding its character limit from 140 to 280 for select users while it considers whether to make the change permanent. What do you think?

I can't wait for everyone on Twitter to finally stop mincing around and start saying what they really think.


Arnold Waring

Twitter Testing 280-Character Limit

When am I ever going to have an opinion that nuanced?


Brandon Milligan

Twitter Testing 280-Character Limit

After 11 years spent proving we were mature enough to handle 140 characters, we've earned this.


Sam Damato

Study: Playing Outdoors Protects Against Nearsightedness

With childhood nearsightedness on the rise, new research suggests that playing outdoors in natural light might protect kids against developing the condition. What do you think?

I didn't spend $600 on an iPad for my kid to just go play outdoors.


Katie Hess

Sorry, but my children look terrible in natural light.


Zachary Guyette

Fresh air and exercise seem like an awfully high price to pay for good vision.


Alicia Hyland

Yahoo Confirms Data Breach Affected 100% Of Accounts

Verizon, parent company of Yahoo, has reported that a 2013 data breach affected every single Yahoo account in existence at that time, approximately 3 billion in all. What do you think?

Yahoo's long-held position as the world's preeminent search engine has made it complacent.


Connor Bluvband

Is there somewhere I can check whether my account is part of that 100 percent?


Steve Nance

I expected a company with an exclamation point in its logo to be more enthusiastic about cybersecurity.


Deborah Lyons

Study: Humans Caught Herpes From Ancient Hominin Ancestor

A new study found that genital herpes, which affects roughly 1 in 6 adults, was passed from apes to humans by a 4-foot-tall ancestor named Paranthropus boisei. What do you think?

Gives us herpes and then goes extinct instead of owning up to it. Typical.


Jon Krueckeberg

Remember, if you have unprotected sex with someone, you're basically having sex with every prehistoric hominin they've slept with too.


Bob Ortega

As a creationist, I continue to believe that all of my venereal diseases came from God.


Jim Haubold

Anti-Nuclear Weapons Organization Awarded Nobel Peace Prize

The International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons has been awarded this year's Nobel Peace Prize for their work on nuclear-nonproliferation. What do you think?

The Nobel Committee is going to be pretty embarrassed when we've all been vaporized in a nuclear war three months from now.


Harold Neumark

I bet that looks great on an 'About Us' page.


Beth Maternowski

Not to diminish their accomplishment, but this wasn't exactly a competitive year for peace.


Mark Peltier

Report: New STD Cases Hit Record High In 2016

A CDC report found that new cases of sexually transmitted diseases in the U.S. hit a record high in 2016, with researchers blaming cuts to sex education programs. What do you think?

This is really going to cement America's bad boy image.


Eric Garriga

If a culture of shame and ignorance can't solve this, nothing can.


Kiera Dowling

Don't look at me. I've had this case of bacterial vaginosis for years.


Daniel Luebbe

Pro-Life Congressman Who Asked Mistress To Abort Will Resign

Rep. Tim Murphy (R-PA), an outspoken abortion critic, announced his resignation after revelations that he asked a woman he was having an affair with to have an abortion. What do you think?

This will be a huge blow to the pro-life movement for the couple days it takes to replace him with somebody with identical views.


Eliza Hammes

Knowing Congress' zero-tolerance for hypocrisy, it's no wonder he couldn't bear to show his face around the Capitol again.


Jim Tanouye

I don't trust the leadership of this nation to someone who would choose such an indiscreet mistress.


Nick Ogilvie

Dove Apologizes For Ad Accused Of Racism

After backlash over the image, Dove apologized for an ad that appeared to show a black woman turning into a white woman, who then turned into an Asian woman. What do you think?

It'd be easier to avoid these kind of PR blunders if we could just go back to having one idealized standard of female beauty.


Chris Benzschawel

Is it okay if I start my boycott after I finish the bottle of conditioner in my shower?


Laura Katzmark

It's always a tightrope walk when deciding which race should transform into which.


Jessa Erbentraut

AOL Instant Messenger Shutting Down Permanently

After 20 years, AOL Instant Messenger, which influenced everything from text messaging to modern apps like Snapchat, will shut down forever December 15. What do you think?

I guess you don't know what you've got until it's taken away 10 years after becoming laughably obsolete.


Bill Maciaci

This makes me so nostalgic for a time when I was depressed and socially isolated.


Zach Eubanks

Then I've still got until December 15 to find out if my crush likes me.


Kevin Harens

Scientists: Oceans Provide Enough Wind Power For All Civilization

A new report shows that winds over the earth's oceans could provide enough renewable electricity for the entire planet. What do you think?

I dunno, I use an awful lot of electricity.


Elizabeth Roth

When will scientists abandon this fantastical notion of their discoveries being converted into actual policies?


Jason Jungman

Just as long as there's still enough of a breeze left over to rustle my wind chimes.


Michael Lutz

NFL Considering Forcing Players To Stand During Anthem

After renewed controversy over players kneeling during the Star-Spangled Banner to protest racism, NFL team owners are reportedly considering a rule forcing players to stand for the anthem. What do you think?

This is a great victory for my own twisted, incoherent understanding of patriotism and racial justice.


Stacy Griffith

I'm sure these players would've gladly given up their moral convictions if they'd known team owners really, really wanted them to.


Ken Birkenstock

Can't we have one national pastime that still lets us come together in support of violent, discriminatory policing?


Richard Prokash

Study: Universe Probably Not Computer Simulation

By studying the quantum behavior of particles, two physicists claim to have disproved a theory that our physical universe is just an elaborate simulation. What do you think?

I'm going to have to start making better decisions then.


Dan Wiedeman

It's nice to know I'm not part of a random, meaningless simulation but rather a random, meaningless reality.


Laura Higlund

Tamagotchi Digital Pets Return To Market

Bandai, maker of the popular '90s toy Tamagotchi that allowed users to feed and care for a digital pet, is bringing back the handheld devices for their 20th anniversary. What do you think?

Sorry, but my landlord only allows Giga Pets.


Alexander Coff

I certainly don't need another screen to look at, but I do need more junk to carry around in my pockets.


David Supley

If I wanted to waste money on something I'd immediately lose interest in, I'd get a regular pet.


Maggie Stanton

Report: Today's Teens Taking Longer To Grow Up

Studies have found that modern teens are less likely to engage in a number of adult activities like drinking, sex, or going out with friends than previous generations. What do you think?

But without growing up how are they ever going to learn to look down on the next generation?


Pat Viejo

These well-behaved teens will be the death of us all.


Todd Zaccaro

I'm not sure what the connection is to hip-hop music yet, but I know it's there.


Mary Bornstein

Boys Scouts Will Allow Girls To Join

The Boys Scouts of America will begin admitting girls next year and allowing them to attain the rank of Eagle Scout, although boys and girls will still be separated into single-gender dens. What do you think?

But making sure my son didn't talk to girls until he was 20 was the whole reason I put him in Boy Scouts.


John Stingl

Boys Scouts Will Allow Girls To Join

As long as children are still being inculcated with the values of a vaguely nationalistic religious organization, I'm happy.


Michael Krotz

Boys Scouts Will Allow Girls To Join


Justin Crowley

UCLA Offering Depression Screenings For All Incoming Students

To lessen the stigma of seeking mental health treatment, and to help manage stress, UCLA will now offer free depression screenings for all incoming students. What do you think?

Acting like people care about your mental health is yet another way college is failing to prepare students for the real world.


Jeffrey Leicht

The sooner we identify depression in young people, the sooner we can point out their whole life is ahead and they have no business being sad.


Ellen Sullivan

They're going to have their hands full, because UCLA sucks! USC number one, baby!


Megan Galbraith

Larry Flynt Offers $10 Million Reward For Info Leading To Trump Impeachment

Hustler magazine founder Larry Flynt used a full-page ad in the Washington Post to offer a $10 million bounty for information leading to Donald Trump's impeachment. What do you think?

Why is Larry Flynt getting in the gutter with that sleazeball?


Kevin Michaux

Trump would be smart to just ignore this, so I'm curious to see what he does instead.


Sam Sneyers

It's getting harder and harder to tell if these are the checks and balances the founding fathers envisioned.


Ryan Mikkelson

Pollution Exposure During Pregnancy May Shorten Baby's Life

A study found that pregnant women exposed to higher levels of air pollution gave birth to babies with shorter telomeres, a possible sign of premature aging and predictor of health problems. What do you think?

I knew all that breathing my wife did in Lamaze class was a bad idea.


Megan Iscoe

As an expectant mother, I'm grateful for any information that will make me as paranoid as possible.


Robert Scollins

You have to admit, there's nothing cuter than a teeny, tiny set of telomeres.


Kimberly Trapp

Scientists Warn Yellowstone Supervolcano Could Erupt Sooner Than Thought

Researchers warned that a massive volcano underneath Yellowstone National Park could erupt sooner than expected, potentially wiping out most life on earth. What do you think?

Yeah, yeah, everyone wants to be the one to eradicate all life on earth these days.


Michael DeBacker

I always knew the national parks system would be what finally did us in.


Burt Wakeman

Thanks for the heads up. I'll try to steer clear of earth for awhile.


Dan Fiedler

California Law Requires Pet Stores To Sell Rescue Animals

A new California law requires pet stores to exclusively sell animals from rescue shelters, imposing a $500 fine for each dog, cat, or rabbit for sale that is not a rescue. What do you think?


Karl Guzman

But if they make buying purebred Teacup Yorkies illegal, it's just going to make them seem even more dangerous and enticing.


Rachel Bisek

As long as they taste the same, I don't care where they come from.


Pat Rutherford

Abandoned Chinese Space Station On Collision Course With Earth

China's Tiangong-1 space station, last inhabited in 2013, is projected to crash into Earth in the next few months, although the odds of it endangering anyone are extremely low. What do you think?

In the grand scheme of things, aren't all of us ultimately on a collision course with Earth?


Wade Schultz

Before you try to reassure me, know that I've gotten much more paranoid about way more improbable threats than this.


Kristen Jones

Frankly, it couldn't have picked a worse time to return home.


Mike Hejl

Third Royal Baby Due In April

Prince William and Princess Kate have announced their third child will arrive April 2018. What do you think?

Always nice to hear things are going well for a wealthy, influential family.


Sarah Coker

Third Royal Baby Due In April

Can they really afford a third child on a non-reigning monarch's salary?


Brent Jalali

Third Royal Baby Due In April

Whatever knocks that appalling Princess Beatrice of York down the line of succession is fine by me.


Rachel Coppock

Trump Drops 92 Spots On List Of Richest Americans

With a $600 million decline in the president's net worth, Donald Trump dropped 92 spots on Forbes' annual list of the 400 richest Americans. What do you think?

Yeah, the Trump economy has been hard on a lot of people.


Alexander Tyack

I'm sure the president has more important things to worry about than the public perception of his level of wealth.


Ben Meredith

It's good he didn't follow through on any of those charitable donations or he could've really taken a hit.


Alicia Ewert

George W. Bush Warns Of Rise Of Conspiracy Theories

During a speech Thursday, George W. Bush condemned the rise of conspiracy theories and bigotry in American politics, remarks that were widely taken as a critique of Donald Trump. What do you think?

To be fair, any condemnation of the worst parts of human nature is going to read as a veiled criticism of Trump.


Bob Levegh

As an architect of an illegal war waged over fabricated evidence, I'll grant that Bush is something of an expert on this subject.


Corey Warheit

This is a nice preview of Donald Trump's 2029 speech about the need for decency in politics.


Carly Regis

Former Blink 182 Guitarist Crowdfunding Spaceship

UFO enthusiast and Blink 182 co-founder Tom DeLonge is crowdfunding a public benefit corporation whose first project is a proposed intergalactic spaceship. What do you think?

I've thrown away money on worse musician side projects than this.


Zach DiCicco

This sounds more plausible than Green Day's amphibious submarine.


Justin Richard

No thanks. The last time I invested in something from that guy I lost the entire $16.99.


Colin Giese

Study: Screen Time Delays Speech Development In Young Children

A study found that children less than two years of age who used smartphones and tablets were at greater risk of suffering delayed speech and language development. What do you think?

If my two-year-old's first words were any indication, these parents aren't missing much.


Kristen Beckett

The sooner children start avoiding conversation to focus on their screens, the sooner they'll be ready for the adult world.


Daniel Berens

I guess that iPad was more effective at keeping my kids quiet than I thought.


Patrick Riehle

Trump To Allow Release Of Classified JFK Documents

President Trump announced he would allow the release of over 3,000 previously classified government documents related to the assassination of John F. Kennedy. What do you think?

If there's one thing that satisfies conspiracy theorists, it's information provided by the government.


Paul Hecker

I'm looking forward to finally learning what the 'F' stood for.


Ryan Zigmund

Study: Men's And Women's Brains React Differently To Helping Others

Neurologists found that women tend to experience greater psychological rewards from helping others, while men's brains reward more selfish behavior. What do you think?

It never occurred to me that helping others was an option.


Alex Penfield

Yet another outdated gender stereotype based on nothing but peer-reviewed neurobiological research.


Lydia Ryder

No wonder those 1,500 hours of court-ordered community service were such a breeze.


Cynthia Clifford

Amazon Mistakenly Delivers 63 Pounds Of Marijuana To Couple

Police are investigating how a couple in Orlando came to receive 63 pounds of marijuana packed inside storage bins they'd ordered from an Amazon facility in Massachusetts. What do you think?

Big deal. My Amazon orders end up in police evidence lockers all the time.


John Doescher

When you factor in the two-day free shipping, that's a pretty good deal.


David Ewald

I'd be careful how deep you dig into the storage bin industry. You might not like what you find.


Teresa Hirsch

China Launching 'Social Credit' App That Rates Citizens' Loyalty

China is rolling out an app that ranks all 1.3 billion of the country's citizens based on their finances, habits, and loyalty to the state, which will affect their ability to travel and apply for jobs. What do you think?

Having my overall value to society condensed to a single number does sound pretty convenient.


Tyler Hourigan

It'll be fun to reconnect with old high school friends and see who's been labeled a dissident.


Ken McSherry

I'm glad I live in a free country that's still at least three or four years away from doing this exact same thing.


Megan Castillo

Nude Mona Lisa' May Be Work Of Da Vinci

Experts believe a drawing of a nude model with similarities to Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa may be a sketch done by da Vinci himself in preparation for the famous painting. What do you think?

So then why have we been wasting our time with the regular Mona Lisa all these years?


Tim Curtis

Nude Mona Lisa' May Be Work Of Da Vinci

This objectification of 500-year-old dead women has to stop.


Hal Jacobsen

Nude Mona Lisa' May Be Work Of Da Vinci

Do you think the naked Mona Lisa poster I bought at Spencer's Gifts in 1996 could be a da Vinci original too?


Tony Belcinski

2017 Sets All-Time Record For Store Closings

In a sign of continued struggles for brick-and-mortar retailers, 2017 has seen a record number of store closings, with more than 6,700 retail locations planned to close this year. What do you think?

That's too bad. Brick-and-mortar stores are a great place to check out items before buying them on Amazon.


Claire Sykes

Hopefully this gets them to finally lift the cap on how many items you can bring with you into the changing room.


Ben Girardi

This is just the trade-off you have to make if you want more empty parking lots to do donuts in.


Sam Endres

Study: Insect Populations Declined 75% Over Last 30 Years

Scientists in Germany have detected a 75 percent decline in the population of flying insects over the last three decades, which they warn could be disastrous for ecosystems worldwide. What do you think?


Lisa Glazer

We need to figure out the cause of this as soon as we can, before the insects have time to regroup.


Jason McGraw

Hey, I'm not the one who keeps flying into my mouth while I'm sleeping.


Katie Crawford

Scientists: Mind Continues To Work After Death

Researchers found evidence that the brain shows signs of activity for a short time after death, meaning that a person may be briefly conscious of their surroundings even after dying. What do you think?

That's why I always have a few good things to think about lined up just in case I die.


Josh Browning

The human brain truly is a horrible thing.


Sam Hauer

If you just think of it as being trapped in your awareness without the ability to speak or move, death isn't so scary after all.


Anthony Todd

Entrance Fee For National Parks Could Be Increased To $70

The National Park Service has proposed more than doubling entrance fees at 17 national parks, including raising the price for guests in cars to $70. What do you think?

A dollar used to get you a lot more natural wonder.


Zach Sirico

That seems a little steep, considering most of these so-called 'parks' don't even have a roller coaster.


Gwen Burton

For that kind of cash, I'd better see a shitload of bobcats.


Leo Sheff

Saudi Arabia Grants Robot Citizenship

The Saudi government has bestowed citizenship on a humanoid robot named Sophia, becoming the first country in the world with a robotic citizen. What do you think?

Quranic law has always been very progressive on robot issues.


Justin Perkins

Saudi Arabia Grants Robot Citizenship

When did the U.S. tech industry lose its place as the world leader in these kinds of bullshit stunts?


Sarah Siegel

Saudi Arabia Grants Robot Citizenship

I don't understand what a country like Saudi Arabia would find so attractive about a perfectly obedient woman.


Nick Moe

Study: Body Cameras Have No Impact On Police Behavior

A study of body camera use among Washington, D.C. police found the cameras had no impact on how often officers used force, contradicting past research. What do you think?

I remain hopeful that someday we'll find the easy technological fix that solves racism forever.


Sarah Patten

Most people are so artificial and stiff on camera, so it's pretty impressive that police are still their same old selves.


Jim Stefans

If body cameras don't work, and not holding them accountable for their actions doesn't work, then I'm out of ideas.


Hunter Phillips

Handwritten Einstein Note Praising Modest Life Sells For $1.56 Million

An autographed note by Albert Einstein extolling the virtues of a modest life, which Einstein gave to a hotel worker in lieu of a tip in 1922, has sold at auction for $1.56 million. What do you think?

Yet another of Einstein's theories that hasn't held up to modern scientific scrutiny.


Alan Paulette

Now I wish I'd saved my Stephen Hawking letter urging me to quit college and become a beachcomber.


Judy Dowd

It's amazing that nearly 100 years later, Einstein can still teach us something new about how to weasel out of a tip.


Sally Bogue

Kellogg's Apologizes For Racially Insensitive Corn Pops Box

After social media backlash, Kellogg's apologized for Corn Pops box art that depicted an anthropomorphized brown corn pop as a janitor among a crowd of light-colored pops. What do you think?

Hey, all the best cereal art is controversial.


Pat Piernot

You'd think they'd have learned their lesson after that Snap, Crackle, and Wop debacle.


Sam Regan

I'm sick of this hypersensitive culture that accurately perceives racism everywhere.


Lynn Meunier

Netflix Suspends 'House Of Cards' Over Kevin Spacey Assault Allegations

With multiple victims coming forward to accuse star Kevin Spacey of sexual assault, Netflix has indefinitely suspended production on 'House of Cards.' What do you think?

So now I can't watch my favorite show just because it enables a serial abuser?


Chris Weyandt

Isn't the whole reason we have a statute of limitations to protect celebrities from consequences like this?


Jeremy Breiner

It's for the best. I can't see anyone believing a TV president who's also a sexual predator.


Jon Doherty

Climate Change Threatening Global Coffee Crops

Scientists warn that climate change could devastate coffee crops worldwide, due to the extremely specific conditions required for the plants to thrive. What do you think?

So now on top of the catastrophic collapse of our global environment I also have to deal with a caffeine withdrawal headache?


Will Giese

The Mormons warned us this would happen.


Megan Ball

I'm ready to do my part, either by addressing climate change or switching to Mountain Dew.


Kyle Ciaccio

Study: Regular Pot Smokers Have More Sex

Stanford researchers found that people who smoke marijuana have sex more often than those who don't, although the study didn't a establish a cause for this trend. What do you think?

This data supports most of my grandmother's existing hypotheses about young people.


Ellen Bershad

I find it hard to believe that one enjoyable thing would somehow correlate with another enjoyable thing.


Garrett Sundet

The reasons to keep marijuana illegal just keep piling up.


Dave Maniaci

Facebook, Twitter Executives Testify To Congress About Russian Election Meddling

Executives from Facebook, Twitter, and Google appeared before Congress this week to address their sites' roles in facilitating Russian interference in the 2016 election. What do you think?

It's nice to see Congress taking this seriously years after it became too late to do anything about it.


Tom Millington

Mark Zuckerberg's never going to be taken seriously as a presidential candidate if he keeps showing the slightest bit of deference to our legal system.


Marion Lyons

I'm concerned about the impact of Russian bots on social media, but on the other hand, I'm probably not such a good influence either.


Lydia Erbentraut

Gothamist, DNAinfo Owner Shutters Sites After Vote To Unionize

News sites Gothamist and DNAinfo were abruptly shut down by billionaire owner Joe Ricketts this week, shortly after their New York staffs voted to unionize. What do you think?

I can't understand why employees wanted to unionize when the owner of the company seems so fair and level-headed.


Joe Neuringer

On the upside, the sites have been much easier to navigate since deleting literally all of their content.


Sam Price

It's good to know the labor movement can still win big victories that last a few minutes before everything gets much worse.


Mike Sairio

U.K. County Bans Surgeries For Obese Patients And Smokers

In a controversial move, one United Kingdom county is restricting non-emergency surgeries for obese people and smokers until they improve their overall health. What do you think?

Healthcare really should be reserved for healthy people.


Justin Choy

This is a particularly cruel policy for a country constantly tempting its citizens with delicious Scotch eggs.


Nancy Wescott

Hopefully this provides the motivation obese people need to finally just die already.


Ken Chadwick

Japanese Company Gives Non-Smokers Extra Vacation Days

A Japanese marketing firm is giving non-smoking employees six extra vacation days each year to compensate them for not taking cigarette breaks. What do you think?

It's only fair if they're forced to spend those extra vacation days in a dingy, designated corner of the office parking lot.


Teresa Townsend

Small compensation for never knowing the joy of looking out on a neon Tokyo cityscape through a cinematically perfect haze of blue-gray cigarette smoke.


Alan Kantor

Japan's smoking habit is the reason the country's average life expectancy is mired at a miserable 116.


Glenn Simons

Rogue Twitter Employee Briefly Deletes Trump's Account

President Trump's Twitter account was briefly shut down Thursday evening, which the site blamed on a rogue customer service employee in their last day on the job. What do you think?

Finally, Twitter is getting serious about removing harassers for a few minutes.


Beth Ruhle

Who hasn't dreamed of quitting their job in a rebellious act of enforcing their company's stated policies?


Brett Daly

It's kind of scary that someone can just shut down a vital part of our nation's legislative process like that.


Cindy Loveness

Ozone Hole Smallest Since 1988

The hole in Earth's radiation-absorbing ozone layer has shrunk to its smallest size since 1988, which scientists credited to laws restricting ozone-depleting pollutants. What do you think?


Jake Kaiser

Ozone Hole Smallest Since 1988

It's hard to believe my hair has gone that long without an aerosol tease.


Aaron Mulligan

Ozone Hole Smallest Since 1988

Sorry, but I'm a little rusty on how to react to good news about the environment.


Patrick Ravin

ACLU Defends Blogger Accused Of Defaming Taylor Swift

The ACLU has stepped in to defend the writer of a blog post implying Taylor Swift might harbor neo-Nazi sympathies, after Swift's lawyers sent the blogger a cease and desist letter. What do you think?

This new album rollout is really innovative.


Michael Pilla

After months of fighting a corrupt and oppressive presidential administration, I'm glad the ACLU is finally addressing an issue that matters to me.


Lindsay Kruvant

Would our Founding Fathers ever have written such broad free speech protections if they'd known the strain it would place on Tay Tay's career?


Barbara Culver

Transgender Heavy Metal Singer Elected In Virginia

Journalist and heavy metal vocalist Danica Roem became Virginia's first openly transgender legislator Tuesday by defeating Republican incumbent Robert Marshall. What do you think?

I knew she'd be our next legislator ever since seeing her open for Scar Symmetry last year.


Edward Jaen

Socially progressive metalheads always vote in record numbers during off-year elections.


Brian Chelsey

I hope her political career delivers the same raucous, back-to-basics heaviness as her musical work.


Peggy Dunn

Gender Inequality Worsened In 2017

According to an annual World Economic Forum report, the extent by which women lag behind men in opportunities worsened for the first time ever in 2017. What do you think?

I knew those last few decades of agonizingly incremental progress were too good to be true.


Matthew Tempas

Gender Inequality Worsened In 2017

This seems like a really negative way to report that men are doing better than ever.


Chris Elmets

Gender Inequality Worsened In 2017


Kelsey Rice

Disney Ends L.A. Times Ban After Backlash

After boycott threats from multiple publications, Disney ended its ban forbidding The Los Angeles Times from attending press screenings over a critical article. What do you think?

Maybe this is a sign that the balance of power between corporations and even larger corporations is finally tilting back.


Drew Goldstein

What a relief for Disney executives worried how they were going to market The Last Jedi without an A.O. Scott quote.


Carl Watt

Yet my 1994 ban from Frontierland remains in effect.


Jenny Manning

Scientists Discover 'Void' In Great Pyramid

Using advanced radiography, scientists have located a previously undiscovered void in the upper reaches of Egypt's Great Pyramid of Khufu. What do you think?

Technology has revolutionized the way scientists discover more nothing.


Wyndham Shay

So even the ancient Egyptians didn't know what to do with all their extra attic space?


Kevin Peck

The really good pyramids are the ones where you keep noticing new things even after 4,500 years.


Dan Siebers

Twitter Suspends Verification Process Over White Nationalist Scandal

Twitter has temporarily stopped verifying prominent accounts after users complained about the site awarding a verification badge to an outspoken white nationalist. What do you think?

It's about time Twitter addressed the most superficial aspect of their white supremacist problem.


Craig Munn

But now how will I distinguish Richard Spencer's tweets from those of some random pseudo-intellectual asshole?


Sarah Knefel

I guess I'll have to hold off on becoming famous a few more days while they sort this out.


Jermaine Bowen

Amazon In Talks For 'Lord Of The Rings' Streaming Series

Warner Bros. and Amazon are in talks with author J.R.R. Tolkien's estate about creating a series based on The Lord Of The Rings novels. What do you think?

It's about time someone brought this amazing story to life through a slightly different distribution model.


Pamela Vatter

As a huge fan of things I've already seen, this is very exciting.


Martin Fenton

This reminds me: I need a replacement cartridge for my water filter.


Eric Downs

Networks Cut Ties With Louis C.K. Over Harassment Allegations

After a New York Times article accused Louis C.K. of multiple instances of sexual harassment, which C.K. later confirmed, several networks and studios have canceled projects with the comedian. What do you think?

I'm glad to see networks finally taking a stand against publicly toxic comedians from whom they can no longer profit.


Lauren Eakins

I really thought I had more time to catch up on his shows before these accusations were taken seriously.


Justin Manthey

It's getting to be where you can't even sexually harass numerous colleagues for the better part of two decades anymore.


Ben Lutz

Facebook Asks For Users' Nude Photos To Combat Revenge Porn

A new Facebook initiative asks users to share their own explicit photos with the site so it can recognize the images and prevent someone else from maliciously posting them in the future. What do you think?

As long as this works out as well as every other time Facebook has dramatically expanded its power, everything should be fine.


Alexis Kayne

No way I'm trusting a corporation with sensitive personal information besides my credit cards, bank account, medical history, and private correspondence.


Evan Coppock

Oh, so now Facebook wants my nude photos?


Melanie Winter

Unpaid Garment Workers Hide Pleas For Help In Zara Clothing

Zara workers in Turkey tagged clothes they were making with messages claiming they had not been paid in months, in the latest controversy for a brand notorious for its labor practices. What do you think?

I wish people would keep their politics out of the workplace.


Blake Conlan

Whatever happened to satisfaction with a job well done?


Todd Leonard

I don't think I can patronize a company that does such a poor job covering up its abusive working conditions.


Miles Ridge

Justice Department Allegedly Demands Sale Of CNN

The Department of Justice has reportedly demanded Time-Warner sell off CNN before merging with AT&T, a move some have attributed to President Trump's anger at the news network. What do you think?

It's kind of nice to see the Justice Department do something besides curtailing voting rights.


Erica Vaughn

The blockbuster talent of Anderson Cooper and Wolf Blitzer at one network should never have been legal in the first place.


Albert Fassola

Finally, an engagement gift worthy of my darling Jessica!


Sean Feiman

Disney Announces New 'Star Wars' Trilogy, Live-Action Series

Disney has announced plans for a new trilogy of Star Wars films to come out next decade, as well as a live-action series in the near future. What do you think?

The 10th, 11th, and 12th installments in a 40-year-old franchise are always the best.


Bob Hutchison

My biggest hope for Star Wars has always been to see what it would look like constrained to a TV budget.


Kathryn Kemp

It'll be exciting to see a fresh new cast of characters follow the exact same plot trajectory as the others.


Martha Autry

Florida School Selling Bulletproof Panels For Backpacks

As a means of protection against school shootings, a Miami elementary school is selling bulletproof panels for students' backpacks for $120. What do you think?

This should make my 5-year-old a lot less nervous about her first day of kindergarten.


Dan Josephson

A bulletproof backpack is just a band-aid for a deeper problem that can only be solved with some kind of armored desk.


Megan Brannigan

Bill Gates Invests $80 Million In Arizona 'Smart City'

Bill Gates has invested $80 million in a proposed smart city near Phoenix, AZ, which will be designed from the ground up to incorporate technologies like autonomous vehicles. What do you think?

When I think of a desert city built hundreds of miles from a reliable water source, I think smart.


Tim Wescott

He must be really confident in this idea if he's willing to throw less than one-thousandth of his net worth behind it like that.


Evan Regis

Well sure, any city's going to look like a genius next to Phoenix.


Marcus Provine

NASA Launches First 'Space Nation' Into Orbit

18,000 people who applied to be citizens of the space nation Asgardia launched their personal data into orbit on a NASA rocket this week in hopes of inspiring future space settlers. What do you think?

Are they sure it's a good idea to leave a hard drive full of personal data just floating around space like that?


Brett Wilde

To be fair, plenty of nations have been founded in dumber ways than this.


Harriet Aresco

The Supreme Earth Council shall not look kindly upon this treason.


Carolyn Lockhart

White House Lifts Ban On Importing Elephant Trophies

Reversing a policy designed to protect the threatened species, the Trump White House is lifting a ban on importing elephant hunting trophies from Zimbabwe and Zambia. What do you think?

Killing is just more fun when you get to keep part of the body.


Ben Sewell

Just as long as we restrict it to the Z countries.


Dominic Hines

Thank God, because I've got 20 elephant carcasses sitting on a tarmac in Harare and nowhere else to ship them.


Damien Reeves

FDA Approves First Digital Pill

The FDA has approved Abilify MyCite, a capsule which uses a tracking system to record whether it was ingested, making it the first digital pill to be approved in the U.S. What do you think?

No thanks. The contents of my stomach are one of the last remaining vestiges of privacy I have.


Shannon Silverman

FDA Approves First Digital Pill

Fine, but electronics are hell on my digestion.


Travor Jorgensen

FDA Approves First Digital Pill

Sure. I'm always up for taking another pill.


Stan Hummel

Mattel Debuts Barbie With Hijab

Mattel has debuted a Barbie based on Muslim-American fencer Ibithaj Muhammad, which features a hijab as well as a more muscular build than the standard doll. What do you think?

I guess I'd just assumed Barbie had been Muslim this whole time.


Scott Posner

Mattel Debuts Barbie With Hijab

So now on top of the unrealistic body type, my daughter has to worry about her parry and riposte skills not measuring up to Barbie's?


Caitlyn Apfel

Mattel Debuts Barbie With Hijab

All dolls should be free to practice whatever religion my child chooses for them.


Greg Paulson

Doctors Edit Living Patient's DNA For First Time

In a medical first, doctors have attempted to edit genes inside a living person, injecting a patient with special cells designed to repair a DNA mutation which causes the degenerative disease Hunter syndrome. What do you think?

I'm just worried about the moral considerations of helping sick people.


Sally Wright

It will be a great day when all doctors can defy God's plan like this.


Nicholas Pagliucci

The field of injecting things never stops advancing.


Randy McGuinness

Trump To Spend Thanksgiving At Mar-a-Lago

Palm Beach residents are bracing for President Trump's arrival Thanksgiving week, a move that will cause road closures and an estimated $350,000 loss in local business. What do you think?


Gus Anniston

Damn. I came this close to not knowing his whereabouts for a minute.


Nell Shawkat

I sympathize. I gotta spend it with a bunch of Trump supporters too.


Andrew Bentham

Nearly Half Of Americans Have High Blood Pressure

According to new guidelines defining a healthy measurement as below 120/80, 46 percent of Americans have high blood pressure, putting them at increased risk of heart attacks and strokes. What do you think?


Tia Cortez

Oh, and let me guess, is 300 pounds considered overweight now, too?


Nathan Wendt

This is just the sobering news I needed to change absolutely nothing about my lifestyle.


Neil Sanders

Study: Sex Rarely Causes Heart To Stop

Researchers at the Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute found that people with heart conditions have cardiac arrests during sex in less than 1 percent of cases, saying they hoped the findings help remove an anxiety for couples. What do you think?

Did they say how often it causes the heart to start again?


Harrison Aartsen

Study: Sex Rarely Causes Heart To Stop

That's what makes it so exciting when it does happen!


Natasha Moralez

Study: Sex Rarely Causes Heart To Stop


Michael Daly

Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

Across the nation, families and friends are gathering to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What are you thankful for this year?

I'm thankful for that time in 1994 when the vending machine gave me two candy bars. It's been a shitty life.


Harold Neuman

Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

Oh, I'm actually not being thankful this year.


Nicole Monroe

Americans Celebrate Thanksgiving

I'm just thankful that I have a roof over my head and a family that loves me, and my enemies don't.


Nate Hart

Americans Buy $81 Million In Pies On Thanksgiving

According to Nielsen holiday sales data, Americans spent $81,483,780 on pie during Thanksgiving week in 2015—far exceeding pies purchases in other weeks that year—a trend they link to Americans eating multiple Thanksgiving meals in that span. What do you think?

Don't look at me—I spent all my money on fixings.


Jessica Erics

Now that you mention it, I really could be eating more pie the rest of the year.


Nathan Waller

Cyber Monday Could Shatter Sales Records

Sales analysts suggest that this year's Cyber Monday could break previous sales records with a projected $6.6 billion in revenue—a near 17 percent increase on last year. What do you think?


Florence Hicks

Wow! The Macedonian hackers using my stolen credit card information must really love a good deal.


Kyle Shattuck

Prince Harry Is Engaged To Meghan Markle

The engagement of Prince Harry to Meghan Markle, his longtime American girlfriend, was announced Monday. What do you think?

I wish them many years of the media trying to undermine their marriage.


Francine Sanders

Wasn't the whole point of the American Revolution that we wouldn't have to hear about things like this?


Larry Williams

Boy, am I going to hear it tonight from my long-time American girlfriend.


Henrietta Burns

Vans Warped Tour Will End In 2018

Annual traveling punk rock music festival Vans Warped Tour, which helped jump-start the careers of artists like Blink-182, Fall Out Boy, and Katy Perry, will end in 2018 after nearly 25 years. What do you think?

Damn, Vans was always my favorite sneaker-based music festival.


Nat Bryant

Vans Warped Tour Will End In 2018

It was pretty obvious this would be the last year. Then again, I've been saying that since 2002.


Paul Goldstein

Vans Warped Tour Will End In 2018

Nothing's more punk than working out the math, seeing the writing on the wall, and rationalizing that you had a good run.


Brad Firer

Lady Bird' Now Best-Reviewed Movie Of All Time

According to movie review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, the Greta Gerwig-directed film Lady Bird is now the highest-reviewed film in the website's history, with a 100 percent rating averaged from 165 reviews. What do you think?

Now we can finally stop making new movies.


Matthew Thiel

I don't let the overwhelming consensus of critics and fans alike influence me.


Catherine Mathieu

Are reviews for the new Star Wars any good? Because I'm definitely seeing that instead.


Tracy Newman

Substitute Phone' Aims To End Smartphone Addiction

Austrian designer Klemens Schillinger is selling a substitute phone, a black functionless slab embedded with small beads that users can swipe in place of their actual phone, with the hopes of breaking smartphone addiction. What do you think?

Nothing can replace my phone's ability to make me feel like an ugly failure all the time.


Bryan Letts

It's good to have something to throw in frustration when my real phone is being slow.


Luis Marquez

Won't this just lead to an eventual slab addiction epidemic?


Jewel Alexander

Avengers 4' Will Provide Finale To Current Marvel Cinematic Universe

Marvel Studios president Kevin Feige confirmed in an interview this week that the next film in the Avengers series will conclude the current era in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and may serve as the final appearance for many of the film's stars. What do you think?

I can't even imagine someone else playing Hawkeye besides whoever it is that plays him now.


Kevin Lintilhac

Maybe then Disney can finally turn their attention to a real superhero: my grandfather.


Ted Tirey

Movies and comics are always the first to realize a limited idea has run its course.


John Moore

Queer Dating App 'Grindr' No Longer Men-Only

Grindr, a popular dating and hook-up service geared toward gay and bisexual men, has updated its app to allow users to select a variety of new gender identities, including women, non-binary, and queer. What do you think?

Finally, women will be able to receive sexual messages online.


Alicia Hale

This could severely damage Grindr's popularity with conservative evangelicals.


Philip Wart

I'm still waiting until they add food delivery to sign up.


Pete Terkins

Reindeer Massacre In Norway

Over 100 reindeer have been killed in Norway in just three days after freight trains repeatedly collided with the animals, part of a pattern that has led to over 250 reindeer deaths in the past year. What do you think?

How tragic that catastrophes of this magnitude aren't being captured on video.


Riognach Marks

Reindeer Massacre In Norway

Oh, that's just an old silly story people tell to get kids excited for Christmas.


Jerry Cozier

Reindeer Massacre In Norway


Jason West

Tesla Builds World's Biggest Battery In Australia

After being challenged to build it within 100 days by the local government, Elon Musk announced Monday that Tesla has constructed the world's largest lithium ion battery in South Australia, a move officials hope will help with frequent power outages and energy shortages. What do you think?

I hope he remembered to bring a converter. The plugs and outlets down there are really weird.


Stacey Brigham

One day, all batteries will be this large.


Arnold Yates

It's publicity stunts like these that make me doubt whether Elon Musk is in it for the right reasons.


Felicia Kent

CVS To Buy Aetna For $69 Billion

CVS Pharmacy has agreed to purchase healthcare giant Aetna for $69 billion, a deal that experts say could transform the healthcare industry by offering inexpensive clinic-based care, but may limit consumer choices. What do you think?

Being denied treatment is about to get much more convenient.


Samuel Pascius

CVS To Buy Aetna For $69 Billion

Honestly, I feel flattered that corporations ever gave me any choices to begin with.


Robert Stamp

CVS To Buy Aetna For $69 Billion

Perfect. I already get all my shampoo at the local Aetna offices anyway.


Katie Lyons

World-Class Sushi In Newark Airport

Tsukiji Fishroom, a sushi restaurant now open at Newark International Airport's Terminal C, has been earning near-universal rave reviews, which critics attribute to the high-quality fish it flies in every day direct from Japan's most famous fish market. What do you think?


Alex Paxton

World-Class Sushi In Newark Airport

Newark has always been a gateway to the flavors of the East.


Nick Muschiano

World-Class Sushi In Newark Airport

Are they sure it doesn't just seem great because it's surrounded by New Jersey?


Nadine Blake

Morrissey To No Longer Give Print Interviews

After starting a media firestorm with several controversial statements on sexual harassment, former Smiths frontman Morrissey has announced that he will no longer give print interviews. What do you think?

I hope this doesn't deter more men from coming forward to voice their opinions on sexual harassment.


Chris Locke

If print media suffers over the next few years, we'll know where it all started.


Cecilia Crossman

Supreme Court Hears Argument On Anti-Gay Cake Shop

The Supreme Court will hear arguments Tuesday from the owner of Masterpiece Cakeshop, the Colorado bakery who refused to bake a wedding cake for a gay couple. The case will determine whether this represented discrimination or an infringement of First Amendment rights. What do you think?

I don't like the idea of anyone forcing me to make a cake just because I run a business where I make cakes all day.


Richard Portman

It just seems wrong that here we are in 2017 and this country still has not set precedent on cake.


Brian Pierce

This is about more than just one wedding or one country. This is about cake, for God's sake!


Harold White

Beijing Restaurants Sells Out Of North Korean Beer After Sanctions Take Effect

Many restaurants in Beijing and across China have sold out of Taedonggang, a beer produced in Pyongyang, due to sanctions imposed on North Korea by the international community. What do you think?

There's nothing worse than not being able to kick back with a cool bottle of your favorite beer after a 20-hour shift assembling iPhones.


Natalie Foote

So the sanctions are working! Or not. I don't understand sanctions.


Jordan Hurt

Oh, you mean Heroic Pathway Of Military Supremacy Lager And Glorious Father Of Sunrises Pale Ale?


David Waters

Stranger Things' Star Stranded In Bali

Thirteen-year-old Stranger Things actress Millie Bobbie Brown has been stranded at a resort in Bali for 10 days after a volcano eruption grounded flights for thousands of travelers. The star reassured fans on Instagram that she is safe during her stay. What do you think?

Thank God a famous child was in danger or I'd have no idea the people of Bali even had a volcano problem.


Nell Ott

Stranger Things' Star Stranded In Bali

These kid actors are always doing drugs or shoplifting or angering ancient volcano gods.


Zachary Mulaney

Stranger Things' Star Stranded In Bali

I stopped watching the show because of these kind of unrealistic scenes.


Lisa Mande

Time Magazine Names #MeToo 'Silence Breakers' As Person Of The Year

Time Magazine has recognized the women who came forward with sexual assault allegations as its 2017 Person of the Year, calling individuals such as Ashley Judd and Rose McGowan, the voices that launched a movement. What do you think?

I hope this abstract entity doesn't let the title go to its head.


Tad Nicholson

Ah shit, now we gotta recognize the impactfulness of a hashtag.


Jonathan Wurst

There's always next year, Patrick Duffy.


Victor Landler

Doctors Stumped By Man's 'Do Not Resuscitate' Tattoo

Physicians at a Florida hospital engaged in a tense ethical debate after an unconscious 70-year-old arrived with the words Do Not Resuscitate tattooed across his chest, initially choosing to ignore it before eventually let the man die. What do you think?

This is why you always get a lawyer and a notary to tattoo their signatures under it.


Peter Hull

At least they can rest comfortably now knowing they probably made the right choice.


Lisa Wells

Good to know that my 'Never let me die' tattoo will be abided by.


Loretta Hines

Australian Politician Asks Partner To Marry Him During Same-Sex Marriage Debate

During a speech before Parliament, the Australian politician Tim Wilson proposed to his same-sex partner, a dramatic choice representing the near-certainty that marriage equality will soon be realized in the nation. What do you think?

Gay people have the same right to schlocky, nauseatingly-sweet displays of love as everyone else.


Patrick Knowles

Great. Now my girlfriend will be on my case to gain political power and then propose to her with it.


Doug Weiss

I hope the proposal is ratified in the Senate.


Mike Jouvenal

Woman With Transplanted Uterus Gives Birth For First Time In U.S.

A Dallas-area mother who was born without a uterus has given birth to a healthy baby boy following the first successful transplant of this type in U.S. history. What do you think?

It's incredible what they can scoop out of one body and pop into another these days.


Geoffrey Viebeck

I wonder how it feels to know that her child will probably never be part of anything this significant again.


Madeline Hunter

It worked? Great! Can I have my uterus back now?


Patricia Salcido

Time Capsule Discovered In Rear End Of Jesus Statue

A team of Spanish restorers have discovered an 18th century time capsule in the buttocks of a wooden statue of Jesus, which contain a Catholic chaplain's writings detailing popular card games of the time and the state of wine harvests. What do you think?


Walter Dylan

I guess it's kind of refreshing that it took two centuries for someone to look in his butt.


Roberto Dissell

I'm glad the chaplain followed God's example and delivered information to people in the craziest way possible.


Suzanne Lock

Dictionary.com Names 'Complicit' As Word Of The Year

Dictionary.com has named complicit as the word of the year, citing a massive spikes in searches for the word after Ivanka Trump used this word in a CBS This Morning interview. What do you think?

Only by raising awareness of this word can we one day find out what it means.


Tyler Erickson

Complicit's Latin roots must be so proud!


Peter Fitch

I'm sure it was a tough decision with so many other qualified sardonic choices.


Lilian Firth

North Korea Claims Kim Jong-Un Can Control The Weather

North Korean state media claimed that Kim Jong-Un has the power to control the country's weather after a blizzard temporarily stopped during his visit to the summit of Mt. Paektu. What do you think?

I was already in his camp because his dad invented hamburgers.


Zack Nicholson

Come on, people! What more evidence do you people need?


Thomas Gunst

I feel blessed to live in a country where we're still three or four years away from that kind of insanity.


Nicholas Easton

Pope Francis Suggests Changing Words To 'Lord's Prayer'

In a recent interview, Pope Francis suggested changing the words to the Lord's Prayer in Italian and English, saying that the phrase lead us not into temptation incorrectly suggests that God tempts humans to do evil. What do you think?

Just who does this Vicar of Christ, Supreme Pontiff, and worldwide leader of the Catholic Church think he is?


Patricia Miner

This will definitely come back to haunt the Pope in his next election.


Dylan Lintilhac

Long as I get my daily bread I don't give a shit.


Samantha Knowles

Apple Acquires Shazam

Apple confirmed that it has acquired the music identification app Shazam for $400 million. What do you think?

Eventually we'll look back and laugh at the days when more than five companies owned everything.


Peter Whitman

Apple Acquires Shazam

A costly mistake from Apple. They could have gotten Shazam for free in the app store.


Roger Black

Apple Acquires Shazam

Who needs Shazam when you already know INXS's entire discography inside and out?


Jeff Reich

Bitcoin Surge In First Day Of Wall Street Trading

Bitcoin experienced a meteoric rise on its first day of trading, surging up 15 percent to $18,000 in its market debut. What do you think?

This is an encouraging sign for my handmade 'JeffBucks.'


Venus Johnson

Whatever happened to good old fashioned quarters?


Timothy Nikolova

I can't believe the internet's arbitrary, made-up currency is worth so much of a country's arbitrary made-up currency!


Clarence Hunter

Former Facebook Exec Says Website Tearing Apart Fabric Of Society

Former Facebook VP Chamath Palihapitiya revealed this week that he felt tremendous guilt for helping to build the website and believed it was tearing apart society through misinformation and exploiting vulnerabilities in human psychology. What do you think?

If Facebook is so evil, then why do I feel a need to check it forty-five times a day?


Nancy Martin

He just has sour grapes that he left before he had the chance to sway an election.


Devin Baltz

With that kind of guilty conscious, no wonder he had to walk away in disgust after making hundreds of millions of dollars.


Blake Philips

Omarosa To Leave White House

White House aide and former The Apprentice contestant Omarosa Manigault Newman will leave the White House effective Jan. 20, 2018. What do you think?

The White House is no place for former reality show stars.


Robert Mills

Omarosa To Leave White House

Hopefully she finds another job she's unqualified for sometime soon


Natalie Schiff

Omarosa To Leave White House

Well no one stays at their first made up position for longer than a year.


Jim Adams

Astronomers Scan Mysterious Interstellar Object For Signs Of Extraterrestrial Life

SETI scientists are looking for signs of alien technology on a mysterious object that they believe came from beyond our solar system—the first of its kind to be observed—which has baffled researchers with its probe-like cylindrical shape and lack of any comet-like tail. What do you think?

It would be the most amazing event in human history if the object held intelligent life that we could conquer and subjugate.


Wendy Peterson

All the science-fiction spectacle in the world can't compete with the wonder of a big rock that does nothing.


Chris Hooks

Giant Penguin Roamed Earth Millions Of Years Ago

Scientists in New Zealand have uncovered the fossils of a 5-foot-9-inch-tall, 223-pound penguin, which they speculate lived on Earth shortly after the age of the dinosaurs. What do you think?

I thought I was the first living thing to be 5-foot-9 and 223 pounds.


Sandra Nicholson

I suppose they were the equivalent of cute little penguins to the giant humans who roamed the earth at the same time.


Nathan Henry

Always feels good to learn about new species that we've outlasted.


Keith Daigle

'The Last Jedi' Has Second-Biggest Opening Of All Times

Star Wars: The Last Jedi has already grossed $450 million, putting it at the second-largest opening of all time, directly after its predecessor The Force Awakens. What do you think?

The reward for Disney, though, must be the knowledge that they released a movie so many people enjoy.


Sandra Levine

It just goes to show that you really can make a successful film inside the system.


Steven Haneke

What rank does that push Dante's Peak back to?


Andrew Palm

Man Flu' May Be Real Disease, Scientist Says

New research in the British Medical Journal suggests that man flu—a term describing the tendency of men to exaggerate flu symptoms—may have a medical basis in testosterone suppressing the immune system. What do you think?

I knew there was one and only one problem caused by testosterone.


Sheilah Knowles

So when my husband died of the flu, he wasn't just being dramatic?


Paul Black

Pope Francis Celebrates 81st Birthday With Extra-Large Pizza Pie

Pope Francis reeled in his 81st birthday by blowing out a candle in a 13-foot-long pizza while surrounded by ailing children from the nearby Pediatric Dispensary of Santa Marta. What do you think?

I assume he'll be doing a quieter celebration at home with God later.


Maria Argento

Nothing helps you feel young like surrounding yourself with kids who are sicker than you.


Seth Gold

I always pegged Pope Francis as more of a Tex Mex guy.


Michael DuBois

Final Season Of 'House Of Cards' Will Star Robin Wright

Netflix announced this week that the final season of House of Cards will be refocused to feature female lead Robin Wright in the starring role, a move that comes after cutting ties with Kevin Spacey over numerous sexual assault allegations. What do you think?

I'm so glad Netflix made the right choice and decided to keep milking its cash cow for one more season.


Matt Schiff

Kevin Spacey has always been willing to go the extra mile to get better roles for women in Hollywood.


Cecily Samereh

I doubt she can bring the same intensity to the role of Frank Underwood.


Linda Moore

Scientists Say Japanese Monkeys Having Sexual Interactions With Deer

Researchers are struggling to explain adolescent female monkeys in Japan who have repeatedly engaged in unusual sexual behaviors, such as mounting sika deer and grinding their genitals against them. What do you think?

You can only have so much bland, repetitive monkey sex before you start wanting something more.


Tim Burgess

Like you've never ground your genitals against a deer when the opportunity arose.


Mac Peterson

Disney Debuts Animatronic Donald Trump In Hall Of Presidents

Walt Disney World has reopened its popular Hall of Presidents attraction with a robotic Donald Trump, who recites a special speech recorded by the 45th president himself. What do you think?

It doesn't really do justice to the horror he instills.


Haley Michaels

Meanwhile, the robotic Hillary is out there, unchecked, marauding through the streets of Disney World.


Alex Stark

Whatever you think about Trump, you've got to admit his robotic self can really bust a move.


Sam Wright

FDA Approves Gene Therapy For Inherited Blindness

In a breakthrough in biomedicine, the FDA has approved a gene therapy for inherited blindness. What do you think?

The blind might not be prepared for how gross we all look.


Tasha Sanders

Oh, no. Blind people were the last people I could feel luckier than.


Will Schneider

Fox News Ends Year With Top Ratings

In spite of a year marred with scandal, Fox News has received top ratings for a news network in both overall viewership and the coveted 25-54 demographic. What do you think?

What can you do? People love to be filled with hate and rage.


Patricia Week

Fox News Ends Year With Top Ratings

I'm not going to trust these figures unless I hear them from Fox News.


Jordan Hardaway

Fox News Ends Year With Top Ratings

Hey, I get it—Sometimes you just need a break from reality.


Nichole Willis

Most Popular Passwords Of Year Include '123456' 'password'

According to a list compiled from leaked user data, this year's most popular passwords include several perennial favorites such as football, as well as new passwords such as starwars and iloveyou. What do you think?

Did 'theredlantern' make it onto the list? I hope not, because that's mine.


Quentin Lowe

You have to get creative with your passwords, or else your NeoPets could fall into the wrong hands.


Peter Starke

The trick is to go up all the way to seven.


Will Holmes

Twitter Begins Banning Threatening Accounts

Twitter began banning violent or abusive user accounts this week, including several notable white supremacists and leaders of the far-right. What do you think?

Losing a social media account is an insurmountable setback for God's superior chosen race.


Kyle Scott

I commend the company for taking action, months and months after the issue was flagged.


Andrea D'Angelo

I consider all other Twitter accounts a threat.


Fred Dalton

Pentagon Has U.F.O. Hunting Program

The Defense Department has been investing $22 million per year into investigating unidentified flying objects, a New York Times report found, contradicting government statements that the program was shut down in 2012. What do you think?


Harriet Samson

Pentagon Has U.F.O. Hunting Program

It's like a real-life X-Files where all the Mulders must've been extremely disappointed all the time.


Nick Broderick

Pentagon Has U.F.O. Hunting Program

Surely there are more productive wastes of taxpayer money.


Nancy Revere

Hawaii's False Missile Alert Caused By Employee Pressing Wrong Button

Hawaiians were alarmed after the Emergency Management Agency accidentally sent out a message warning them of an inbound missile, which administrators say was caused by an employee selecting the wrong option in a dropdown menu for an internal test. What do you think?

I'm still mad that I had to tell my family how much I love them.


Todd Waites

Meanwhile powerful dropdown menu interests are going to ensure this issue is never resolved.


Stewart Cantor

Listen, I've been there. It was three days ago, when I pressed the wrong button, falsely warning the entire state of Hawaii about an inbound missile.


Anastasia Clarke

Google Museum App Finds Users' Fine Art Doppelgänger

An update to Google's Arts and Culture app allows user to take a selfie and find a museum portrait that most closely matches their faces, a process developed using computer-vision technology. What do you think?

My problem with most art is that it doesn't feature me as the subject.


Devin Bruis

Google is getting really creative about gathering users' facial recognition data.


Walter Hartley

Finally, my work as Whistler's muse is paying off!


Stephen West

Scientist Find Genetic Basis For Bad Breath

By studying a range of individuals with persistent cabbage-scented breath, scientists have isolated a gene called SELENBP1 that generates sulphur-containing molecules and results in bad breath. What do you think?

Ugh—Fine, I'll cut down on the amount of SELENBP1 I've been eating.


Nichole Bianchi

This is a huge win for supporters of eugenics.


Tim Banks

It's good to know it's my unchangeable genetics, and not some personal failing, that's made me repellent to people.