Connor Lucas

It looks like cakes aren't the bastion of free speech they once were.


Doug Stacky

Cake Shop Accused Of Religious Discrimination For Refusing To Write Anti-Gay Slur On Bible Cake

A bakery in Arizona is facing a religious discrimination complaint after refusing to comply with a customer's order to decorate a cake shaped like a Bible with the words God hates gays and an image of two men holding hands with an X over it. What do you think?


Jennifer Gentry

New Hampshire Lottery Releases Bacon-Scented Scratch-Off Ticket

The New Hampshire state lottery has introduced a new $1 scratch-off lottery ticket labeled I Heart Bacon that produces a bacon smell when playing. What do you think?

It's fine if they want to scrap the lottery ticket angle. I'm happy to just buy bacon-scented rectangles.


Richard Wilder

It's tough finding new ways to convince people to waste money.


Darryl LaChase

Study: Dog Movies Spur Adoption For Up To 10 Years

A study has found that popular dog movies can boost adoption of featured breeds for up to 10 years after their release, though in previous cases, many families have quickly returned dogs they were not prepared to own. What do you think?

It's surprising that the kinds of people impulsively adopting dogs because of movies sometimes turn out to be irresponsible pet owners.


Cara Nordling

If only the film industry had portrayed both the joys and the sorrows of owning a shaggy dog.


George Cox

I'm kind of tired of hearing about what suckers we all are.


Dave Cooper

Study Links Negative Tweets To More Heart Disease

According to a new study, tweets that convey negative emotions such as hate, hostility, or boredom correlate to higher rates of heart disease-related deaths in the surrounding community. What do you think?

Well, then it's a good thing that the vast majority of tweets are so positive and uplifting.


Margaret Dalton

But how else am I supposed to deal with my emotions other than throwing them carelessly into a void?


Michael St. George

Even if they do slowly kill everyone around you, it's still kind of nice knowing that what you say on Twitter actually affects stuff.


Helen Pankey

NYC Facing 'Potentially Historic' Blizzard

New York City mayor Bill de Blasio said the blizzard expected to hit today could be one of the largest snowstorms in the history of this city. What do you think?

That's okay. New York always looks so much prettier under several feet of snow.


Cyrus Brown

We were foolish to build our cities so close to the unforgiving North.


David Lach

Just cut to the chase, are my tickets for 'Wicked' tonight still good or not?


Henry Burke

Study: 1 In 5 Spouses Commits 'Financial Infidelity'

A new study conducted by the site CreditCards.com has found that one in five married people in the U.S. commits so-called financial infidelity by hiding purchases from their partner, with men twice as likely as women to make secret purchases on items like electronics. What do you think?

Okay, okay, I bought a laser rangefinder last Tuesday night, but it meant nothing.


Joe Bailey

It's just evolution—humans aren't meant to share their purchases with the same person their whole lives.


Adeline Bogan

Not me. My husband and I end every day by exchanging receipts before falling into each other's arms.


Gary Pennington

Vatican Replaces Doves With Balloons As Symbol Of Peace

The Vatican traditionally releases a pair of doves on the last Sunday of January to symbolize peace, but after last year's event, in which the doves were immediately attacked by a seagull and a black crow, the Vatican decided this year to release colorful balloons instead. What do you think?

I held my tongue about his liberalized views on homosexuality and divorce, but this pope has finally gone too far.


Darlene Sanchez

As long as it can slip through our fingers and fly away, never to return, it's an appropriate symbol for peace.


Allan McQueen

Sometimes I think religious people are just making the rules up as they go along.


John Whitehead

Report: NFL Investigating Patriots Locker Room Attendant For 'Deflategate'

The NFL is reportedly zeroing in on a New England Patriots locker room attendant as a person of interest in the so-called Deflategate scandal, in which 11 of 12 Patriots footballs used during the AFC title game were found to be under-inflated, with one source claiming a team employee took two bags of 12 balls into a single bathroom stall before the game. What do you think?

Before we jump to conclusions, let's remember there are plenty of innocent reasons a person might sneak off to the bathroom with two dozen footballs.


Leslee Howton

Well, it's highly unlikely a powerful organization would throw a low-level employee under the bus, so this is probably as high as it goes.


George Cotton

They should wrap this up soon so there's nothing to distract from the game except every other scandal that's happened in the NFL this season.


Alan Shanks

Taiwan Building Sex-Themed Amusement Park Called 'Romantic Boulevard'

According to reports, Taiwan is planning to open a love- and sex-themed amusement park called Romantic Boulevard, which will feature erotic sculptures, sex education videos, and more. What do you think?

Turning sex into the official theme takes all the fun out of getting aroused at an amusement park.


Violet Dollinger

It's about time someone found a way to make sex entertaining.


Andrew Abbott

Nothing gets me hotter than waiting in line.


Larry Collins

Koch Brothers To Spend Historic $889 Million On 2016 Elections

Conservative industrialist billionaire brothers David and Charles Koch have announced that their network of political organizations will spend a total of $889 million to influence the outcome of the 2016 elections, on par with what the GOP and Democratic parties are each likely to spend. What do you think?

Man, I wish I had a brother to buy elections with.


Linda Beals

I prefer my third parties laughably ineffective.


Scottie Wyckoff

Joke's on them—I was going to vote for the interests of billionaires anyway.


Krister Block

Denver Airport Bans Marijuana-Themed Souvenirs

Denver International Airport has announced it will no longer sell marijuana-themed souvenirs and gifts because it doesn't want people to just associate Colorado with pot tourism, saying, There's a lot more to our state than marijuana. What do you think?

For a bunch of weed smokers, they're pretty uptight.


David Stehling

That's okay. I've got a guy in Terminal B who will sell you a pound of pot-scented air fresheners on the down-low.


Martha Schecter

But how else will I remember how high I was at the airport?


Katie Clyde

Americans Expected To Spend $703 Million On Pets For Valentine's Day

According to the National Retail Federation, Americans are expected to spend a collective $703 million on gifts for their pets this Valentine's Day such as treats, heart-shaped toys, and more. What do you think?

The problem is that every year my tropical fish and I say we're not doing the whole gift-giving thing.


Michael Wishaw

I'll probably put it off until the 14th and just grab flowers and a smoked pig ear on my way home from work.


Derek Wilson

Disney Introduces First Hispanic Princess

In a bid to appeal to Latino and Hispanic families, Disney announced it will debut its first Hispanic princess, Elena, in the animated Disney Junior show Elena Of Avalor. What do you think?

When Disney makes a princess for you, you know you've made it as an ethnicity.


Gabe Durdan

Well, there goes my 'it's messed up there aren't any Mexican Disney characters' conversation starter.


Rebecca Peabody

I'm sure Elena will still have a sanitized backstory and anglicized features where it counts.


Ian Guzman

Study Links Binge-Watching TV To Depression

A new study has found that people who binge-watch three or more TV shows at a time are more likely to be lonely and depressed, leading researchers to conclude that the practice should no longer be viewed as a 'harmless' addictive behavior. What do you think?

Were those people already lonely? We should be careful before we point the finger at TV.


Lexi Corbett

Sorry, but I don't really see the correlation between having 12 to 18 hours of free time on a weekend and loneliness.


John Nelson

If this is some kind of ploy to get me to read, it's not going to work.


Anna Shankman

Chris Christie On Vaccines: Parents Should Have 'Measure Of Choice'

In the wake of a measles outbreak experts believe is linked to the anti-vaxxer movement, New Jersey governor and possible presidential candidate Chris Christie said he believes that it should be a parent's choice to inoculate their children, saying, It's much more important what you think as a parent than what you think as a public official. What do you think?

It's refreshing to see a public official standing up against public health measures.


Matt Lavallee

Interesting. I didn't know Iowa voters felt that way about vaccinations.


Griffin Vaugh

It's so exciting watching a 2016 talking point being born.


Sam Grant

California May Raise Smoking Age From 18 To 21

In an effort to keep cigarettes out of the hands of teenagers, California legislators have proposed a bill that would raise the state's minimum smoking age from 18 to 21. What do you think?

Teenagers are just going to have to find a new way to fit in with people standing around in a circle.


Laura Sattler

Hopefully California's 18-year-old smokers will vote these clowns out of office.


Jeff Malcolm

Hey, I'm 31, and I'm worth caring for too.


Martin Cundey

New Smartphone Dating App 'The League' Matches Elite Professional Singles

A graduate of Stanford University has raised money to launch The League, dubbed the Tinder for elitists, a smartphone dating app that uses an algorithm to approve ambitious users who have prestigious educations and careers and weed out others. What do you think?

How elite are we talking? They aren't allowing Vassar alums in, are they?


Bob Ferrero

I don't know, I feel uncomfortable writing off people based on something other than their looks.


Ariana Sandoval

How can people who don't have a personal matchmaker honestly call themselves elite?


Wayne Nedry

Harper Lee To Publish 'To Kill A Mockingbird' Sequel

Harper Lee, author of the celebrated 1960 novel To Kill A Mockingbird, her only published work to date, announced that she will publish a sequel called Go Set A Watchman about the character Scout returning home as an adult to visit her father, Atticus. What do you think?

Personally, I'd rather the book come out distastefully in the months after her death.


Sam Grant

I've been dying to know how the whole racism thing played out in Alabama.


Erin Bucklin

Ever since I read 'To Kill A Mockingbird' as a little girl, I've been waiting for publishers to manipulate an elderly Harper Lee into tarnishing it with a sequel.


Michael Koepp

Therapy Kangaroo Kicked Out Of McDonald's

Police in a Wisconsin town asked a woman to leave a McDonald's because she had brought her therapy kangaroo, Jimmy, a support animal she says helps her deal with emotional stress, to the restaurant, leading to complaints from customers. What do you think?

Nothing like taking care of a 200-pound wild animal with a six-foot vertical leap to calm the nerves.


Greg Hertford

Well, we'd all like to take our kangaroos everywhere, but that's just not possible.


Laura Mishler

I agree with the police on this one. That's a dangerously unsanitary situation for the kangaroo to be in.


Rachel Kiley

Airlines Offering Complimentary In-Flight College Courses

In addition to movies, TV shows, and other in-flight entertainment, JetBlue and Virgin America have begun offering passengers complimentary streaming video lectures from classes at top universities. What do you think?

Sounds interesting, but I still might drop out to watch 'Friends.'


Brian Burnett

I hope the guy sitting next to me lets me copy his notes while I go to the lavatory for a smoke.


Colin Hershenson

For the love of God, we just want more leg room.


Dianne Panelli

Superman Gets New Power, 'Solar Flare'

In the climactic issue of the Superman comic storyline Men Of Tomorrow, Superman discovers that he has a new power called solar flare, which allows him to expel all the energy in his cells to create a powerful blast, but afterwards he loses all his energy and becomes human for 24 hours. What do you think?

What I wouldn't give to feel human for 24 hours.


Kenneth Hymes

Superman Gets New Power, 'Solar Flare'


Paul Deason

Superman Gets New Power, 'Solar Flare'

He should also try and learn to code. There's really no excuse these days.


Fred Reinke

Harvard Bans Professors From Having Sex With Students

Harvard University recently revised its conduct policy to include a formal ban on sexual relationships between students and professors, which were discouraged before but not explicitly prohibited. What do you think?

Once you're 18, you should be able to decide which 50-year-olds in positions of authority can take advantage of you.


Michael Nowell

Good. It's about time professors who abuse their power have to stand before toothless, ineffectual disciplinary panels.


Jess Villarino

Study: Singles Who Use Emojis Have More Sex

According to an annual survey conducted by Match.com, people who use emojis were found to have sex more often than those who don't. What do you think?

Never underestimate the erotic pull of great art.


Victor Anderson

Thank god. Writing down my thoughts can only work against me.


Richard Mendell

I didn't know my aunt was getting so much action.


Tasha Brennan

Beck Wikipedia Page 'Hacked' After He Beats Beyoncé At Grammys

After he received the Grammy Award for Album of the Year over Beyoncé, the Wikipedia page of singer Beck Hansen was reportedly hacked by angry internet users who wrote that he was the stealer of the award from Beyoncé Knowles, Queen of the World. What do you think?


Geoff Clavadetscher

Beck deserves better. Not a Grammy, but better than this.


Mike Enderton

I applaud anyone who cares that much about anything.


Kimberly Tipton

Qdoba Offering Free-Burrito-For-A-Kiss Promotion On Valentine's Day

Qdoba Mexican Grill is offering a Valentine's Day promotion called Smothered in Smooch, in which customers who order a sauce-smothered burrito can kiss someone and get a second burrito for free. What do you think?

Nothing is more romantic than saving money on fast food.


Shane Lohff

I'd do pretty much anything for a free burrito up to paying full price for one.


Tony McCray

I don't have to give the free burrito to the person I kiss, do I?


Gail Clark

Report: Charles Manson's Fiancée Was Using Him For Corpse

According to a journalist who spoke to the New York Post, Charles Manson's fiancée Afton Star Burton only planned to marry him as part of a scheme to get possession of his corpse after his death and put it on display for profit, but Manson was dismissive of the plot when he found out because he believes that he's immortal. What do you think?

Why are all the good corpses either gay, taken, or immortal?


Ryan Cunningham

Name one woman who isn't trying to profit off her husband's corpse.


Dave Cervantes

Does this mean his corpse is still up for grabs?


Mitchell Coughlin

Japan To Open World's First Robot-Run Hotel

A theme park in Nagasaki is set to open the world's first hotel run in large part by actroids, lifelike robots resembling young Japanese women that can speak in four languages, which will be used to staff the reception desk, carry luggage, and make coffee. What do you think?

I already treat hotel employees like they're not human.


Matthew Durham

In this robo-feminized world, male robots can't catch a break.


Marika King

If you can speak four languages, what are you doing making coffee in a hotel?


Ginger Tobin

Brian Williams Suspended For 6 Months Without Pay

NBC has suspended Nightly News anchor Brian Williams from the news desk for six months as the network conducts an internal investigation into the accuracy of his reporting on Iraq in 2003, in which he claimed to have come under fire in a helicopter, and on other stories. What do you think?

Maybe next time he'll think twice before lying about something so easily verifiable.


Adam Turner

I'm starting to think that that time he wished viewers a good evening wasn't true either.


Jerry Simonsen

Nice! I bet he'll have some awesome stories when he comes back.


Stephanie Powell

Report: Anti-Vaxxer Parents Considering Throwing 'Measles Parties'

Local media in California have reported that some anti-vaxxer parents are considering throwing measles parties at which unvaccinated children can come in contact with infected children in order to contract the disease and build up a natural immunity. What do you think?

Thank God my child is too unpopular to ever be invited to something like that.


Dylan Saunders

I prefer the fun mystery of not knowing which diseases my kids will come home with from their parties.


Brian Schneider

They can try whatever they want, but kids' parties are always going to suck.


Robert Reedy

Study: Settling For Adequate Partner Better Than Waiting For Soulmate

According to researchers who studied the risk-taking behavior of early humans, people are better off, from an evolutionary standpoint, settling for a mate who's available but maybe not the most ideal choice instead of waiting for a superior partner to come along. What do you think?

The happiest day of my life was when I computed that I was statistically unlikely to improve upon Jennifer.


Helen Wilson

If only Hollywood could capture the thrill of settling.


Gordon Salinas

Damn. And I've been going to college and jogging every day like a sucker.


Pat Romano

Montana Lawmaker Proposes Banning Yoga Pants

Republican representative David Moore introduced a new bill in the Montana legislature this week that would expand the state's indecent exposure laws to include tight-fitting clothes, saying he believes Yoga pants should be illegal in public, an idea lawmakers quickly voted down. What do you think?

All that bill would do is require me to use my imagination more.


Diane Tallman

This politician is obviously under the thumb of powerful frock lobbyists.


Gary Epper

You just know it's only a matter of time before this hypocrite is caught in a perfect baddha uttanasana.


Joshua Groh

Facebook Lets User Choose Who Controls Their Account After Death

Facebook has announced that rather than memorialize the accounts of Facebook users who die, which doesn't allow others to edit or manage the page, the social network will now permit users to designate a legacy contact who will have the ability to change aspects of the deceased's profile. What do you think?

It's nice knowing that when I'm gone, part of me will continue being mined for advertising data.


Julia Freeman

Smart companies like Facebook know you shouldn't ignore any demographic, no matter how dead.


Gilbert McNemar

I'm not sure who I can trust with the solemn task of rejecting Bubble Witch Saga game requests.


Hannah Harrison

Study: Dogs Can Read Happy, Angry Faces

Animal behavioral specialists have found evidence that dogs can read expressions in humans and can distinguish between happy and angry faces. What do you think?

It's not like they have the best poker faces either.


Bethany Massey

Study: Dogs Can Read Happy, Angry Faces

Even the notoriously cold and emotionally distant beagle?


Javier Gonzales

Study: Dogs Can Read Happy, Angry Faces

No dog is a match for how deeply I can repress my emotions.


Tim Daniels

Met Museum Bans 'Selfie Sticks'

The Metropolitan Museum of Art has announced a new policy banning selfie sticks, camera extenders that allow users to take pictures of themselves next to artwork, on the grounds that users could invade other guests' personal space or damage the art. What do you think?

People are always frightened by new technology.


Gwen Shackelford

Met Museum Bans 'Selfie Sticks'

How else will I simultaneously capture the splendor of Gauguin's 'Two Tahitian Women' and my own narcissistic impulses?


Bernard Upham

Met Museum Bans 'Selfie Sticks'

That's all right, I don't need a selfie stick to invade someone's space at an art museum.


Michael Harwood

Outgoing Obama Aide: My Biggest Failure Was Not Releasing Government UFO Files

After leaving his job as a White House senior counselor, Obama aide John Podesta said that his biggest failure on the job was not succeeding in efforts to make the federal government declassify its files on aliens and Area 51 and tell the nation exactly what it knows about extraterrestrials. What do you think?

Yeah, but that's the kind of boilerplate thing you have to say when quitting a job.


John Tolan

If it makes him feel any better, I've never succeeded in getting the government to reveal what it knows about UFOs either.


Kelly Randall

Working for the government and still believing in something after 20 years is still quite an accomplishment.


Aaron Robertson

Barbara Bush Reverses Stance On 'Enough Bushes' In White House

Former First Lady Barbara Bush recently said she has changed her mind about statements she made in 2013 in which she said that though she believes her son Jeb is the most qualified man for the White House, There are a lot of great families, and it's not just four families or whatever, and that We've had enough Bushes. What do you think?

Sure, his mom'll vote for him, but the Democratic candidate probably also has a supportive mom so it cancels out.


Wanda Bryant

It's so crucial to have a mother's last-minute vote of confidence.


Jim Zazueta

Three or four families? There can't be that many.


Hazel Blanco

Mattel To Remake Barbie With More Diversity, Voice Box

Following years of declining sales, Mattel has announced it is releasing new Barbie dolls that feature more racial diversity, in addition to a Hello Barbie doll with the ability to talk. What do you think?

It's about time Barbie started representing girls who can talk.


Joseph Parsons

Good, girls need to know that conventionally attractive women of all races are beautiful.


David Wyman

It's nice when a company decides to be inclusive as a last resort.


Sally Wolfgang

Report: Uber Adding 'Panic Button' For Chicago Passengers

According to a report in the Chicago Sun-Times, Uber is adding a panic button to its Chicago smartphone app that allows passengers to quickly alert police in the event they feel endangered by their driver. What do you think?

It's nice knowing Uber is willing to do everything it can to protect its customers short of properly screening its drivers.


Nathan Rowe

My kids won't believe getting in strangers' cars used to be dangerous.


Daniel Benson

Great, here we go with the extra in-app purchases.


Jonathan Dilley

Little Caesars Introduces Bacon Crust Pizza

National pizza chain Little Caesars announced it will begin selling the Bacon Wrapped Crust Deep! Deep! Dish pizza on February 23, which costs $12 and contains 3.5 feet of bacon strips around the edges, topped with bacon bits and pepperoni. What do you think?

This must have taken forever to get right.


Hal Crosby

I don't know. I feel like I could get more meat for $12.


Joanna Mavers

Little Caesars has never been more relevant to me and my millennial friends.


Cheryl Bergstrom

Walmart Raising Wages

Amid pressure from labor groups to provide its workforce with a better living wage, Walmart has announced that it will pay all workers at least $9 per hour beginning this April, a decision that will cost $1 billion and affect 500,000 employees, with the company additionally committing to a $10 hourly wage by 2016. What do you think?

Who needs labor unions when all it takes is dozens of damning exposés and two decades of public protest to achieve the smallest possible step in the right direction?


James Tyson

Walmart Raising Wages

Fine, but they're not raising the price of my shampoo.


Mark Grinnell

Walmart Raising Wages

Since when has working for Walmart been about the money?


Rhonda Mabrey

Oklahoma Votes To Ban AP U.S. History

Believing that the coursework casts American history in a negative light, state legislators in Oklahoma voted this week to replace Advanced Placement U.S. History classes in public high schools with a new framework that they believe better emphasizes U.S. exceptionalism, though critics argue this change will deprive students of a proper education. What do you think?

This could knock Oklahoma from its perch atop the lower third of U.S. state education rankings.


Tobin Lertz

Oklahoma Votes To Ban AP U.S. History

I've always thought history classes should be taught à la carte.


Randall Pitson

Oklahoma Votes To Ban AP U.S. History

If we're going to sugarcoat anything, let's start with the harsh, definitive nature of mathematics.


Kyle Layman

Experts: Eggs No Longer Considered Health Risk

Though government officials have warned Americans for years about the high cholesterol content found in eggs, a U.S. health advisory panel now reports that eating eggs should no longer be considered a health risk linked to heart disease, a decision that many leading medical experts consider long overdue. What do you think?

This is exactly why I disregard experts who contradict my personal preferences.


Yvonne Kemp

I'm not sure I can forgive the government for robbing me of decades of guilt-free quiche consumption.


Jerry Manlowe

Well, something I'm doing has to be causing all these heart attacks.


Mary McDougall

Joan Rivers Excluded From Oscars 'In Memoriam' Segment

Fans of late comedian and actor Joan Rivers blasted Academy Awards producers last night after they excluded Rivers, who made appearances in dozens of films over her decades-long career as well as covered the Oscars red carpet, from the show's In Memoriam segment. What do you think?

Sometimes tough choices have to be made in order to keep the show at a tight 4.5 hours.


Rodney Morgan

Ugh! They treated her like a hideous, off-the-shoulder Ralph & Russo gown with magenta sash!


Jason Soto

Study: Gerbils Were Actual Cause Of Black Plague

Challenging the widespread belief that the Black Plague of medieval Europe was spread by rats covered in disease-carrying fleas, a new study has found that the outbreak was more likely caused by flea-ridden gerbils. What do you think?

This totally changes my relative tolerance of various rodent species.


Chad Hite

Look, it's easy to throw around blame for the Black Death.


Gail Gregory

That's nice, but I'm still laying down the poison.


Luther Crenshaw

Starbucks To End CD Sales

Starbucks announced this week that after 15 years of selling CDs from popular artists in stores, the company will stop stocking them and by March will only sell digital albums on its website. What do you think?

Good. I like when things don't work out.


Joe Pemberton

Starbucks To End CD Sales

It seems like every day I look up and something else wonderful has just passed me by, never to present itself again in this life.


Louis Harris

Starbucks To End CD Sales

Another nail in the music industry coffin.


Patricia Cody

WWE Accused Of Paying Female Wrestlers Less

Inspired by Patricia Arquette's speech at the Oscars about wage inequality, three-time WWE Divas champion A.J. Lee accused the league of paying female wrestlers less than their male counterparts. What do you think?

The time has come for our society to chokeslam the wage gap.


Brian Chowdhury

I have to say, this makes professional wrestling look embarrassingly outdated.


Larry Medina

You know the WWE is going to draw out this wage discrimination storyline at least until SummerSlam.


Nikki Moss

Report: Jurors Who Saw 'American Sniper' Were Still Picked For Chris Kyle Murder Trial

Two jurors on the trial of the man found guilty of killing Chris Kyle, the late U.S. Navy SEAL regarded as the most lethal sniper in military history whose autobiography was adapted into the film American Sniper, told Good Morning America today that they had seen the film prior to the trial, raising concerns about juror bias. What do you think?

Who cares? The movie ends before saying which way the jury decides, right?


Mark Pratt

It's like when the O.J. Simpson jury couldn't bear to convict the guy from all those Hertz commercials.


Doug Schoenberger

What were they supposed to do, just not convict the guy who killed Bradley Cooper?


Mary Moore

Winston Churchill's Blood Up For Auction

An auction house in Britain is reportedly auctioning off a vial of Winston Churchill's blood that was taken by a student nurse who was caring for him after a hip fracture, and appraisers say it could fetch upwards of $900. What do you think?

Thanks, but I've already got more of Winston Churchill's blood than I know what to do with.


Jeff Rowley

Don't get me wrong, I love blood, I just can't see myself paying that kind of a premium for a famous name.


Dale Dukes

I hope someday I'm famous enough for a nurse to steal my blood.


Emilie Howell

U.K. To Allow 3-Parent Babies

The British Parliament has approved a new IVF technique that uses the process of mitochondrial transfer to produce a baby with the DNA of a father and two mothers, which would allow women with certain genetic mutations to have children. What do you think?

I'm fine with this as long as the kids are clearly labeled.


Thomas Marsh

U.K. To Allow 3-Parent Babies

What happened to the days when we just told infertile couples their condition was a curse from God?


Matt Nelson

U.K. To Allow 3-Parent Babies

Just great, I already have enough trouble explaining where regular babies come from.


Anna Johnson

Madonna Pulled Off Stage By Too-Tight Armani Matador Cape

Madonna tumbled off stage at last night's BRIT Awards when a backup dancer pulled on her Armani matador cape, which was supposed to come off but was tied too tightly. What do you think?


Paul Ramirez

Yikes, I hope Armani doesn't lose business.


Nathan Staudt

At least no one was cruel enough to upload the video to the internet.


Bart Campbell

KFC Introduces Edible Coffee Cups In The U.K.

KFC locations in the U.K. have introduced edible coffee cups called Scoff-ee cups that are wrapped in sugar paper and lined with a layer of glorious white chocolate." What do you think?"

Sounds like a great way to hide any evidence that I eat at KFC.


Henry Morier

Yeah, a lot of fast food restaurants are exploring healthier options these days.


Crystal Spruill

Study: Most Internet Users Won't Stop Online Bullies

According to a new study from Ohio State University, only 10 percent of internet users who witness online bullying choose to confront the bully or help the victim, with the rest demonstrating the bystander effect. What do you think?

I don't want to step in if I don't know the whole story.


Jack Barats

People need to learn to stand up for themselves against relentless harassment and death threats.


Geoff Murguia

If I wanted to feel empathy for other human beings I wouldn't be reading comments in the first place.


Charlotte Kujawski

Study: Feeding Infants Peanut Products Could Reduce Childhood Allergies

A new study has found that exposing babies to peanut products may reduce their risk of developing allergies to peanut-containing foods later on, challenging the idea of keeping kids away from them. What do you think?

But if I don't raise my son with a few strategic weaknesses, how am I supposed to maintain my dominance over him?


Jimmy Kilpatrick

But children with allergies hold the most sway when it comes to determining lunch options.


Derek Melton

Allergies or not, a baby who doesn't eat any peanuts at all just looks like an idiot.


Elmer Hartman

Stolen Pearl Oscar Dress Revealed To Be Fake

A dress that was worn by actress Lupita Nyong'o at the Academy Awards and later stolen from her hotel room, rumored to be made of 6,000 pearls and worth $150,000, was revealed to be a knockoff after the thieves took two of the pearls to be appraised and found them to be fake. What do you think?

You just can't trust the people you rob these days.


Crystal Yerby

I was hoping the dress was real so I could feel disgusted with the entertainment industry's wealth, but feeling smug about Hollywood's phoniness is okay too.


Earl Branco

This really calls into question the integrity of red carpet reporting.


Natalie Falk

DEA Warns Allowing Medical Marijuana May Lead To Stoned Rabbits

During testimony in the Utah State Senate about a proposed medical marijuana bill, a DEA agent warned that he has observed rabbits becoming addicted to the plant after eating it at grow sites, getting high all the time and starting to follow humans around. What do you think?

You've got to hand it to the DEA for thinking this all the way through.


Jack Beatty

After all the lies that have been spread about the dangers of marijuana, it's kind of nice to hear a new irrational fear.


Ryan Krause

Rabbits are going to be getting high anyway. Better that it be safe, legal, and regulated.


Dawn Horton

IKEA Introduces Wireless Charging Furniture

Swedish furniture retail chain IKEA has announced it will begin selling furniture that charges cell phones wirelessly with charging pad stations that are integrated into desks, tables, lamps, and other furniture. What do you think?

I don't want to give my shelf that kind of power.


Matt Santangelo

Finally, instead of struggling to find an outlet to plug my phone into I can struggle to find an outlet to plug my couch into.


Bob Brock

No thanks. I can always swing by an IKEA and charge my phone off some floor models.


Janice McCormack

Spanish Bar Only Hires Employees Over 50

In an effort to fight wage discrimination, a bar in Barcelona has pledged to only hire experienced workers over 50. What do you think?

Nothing starts a night off right like seeing middle-aged people still working in the service industry.


Shane Miller

Everyone knows pouring liquid into cups is a young man's game.


Madeline Pearson

Campaign Pushes For Woman On $20 Bill

A new nonprofit called Women on 20s is advocating for changing the $20 bill by replacing the face of former president and Indian Removal Act signer Andrew Jackson with that of a woman such as Harriet Tubman, Rosa Parks, or Susan B. Anthony. What do you think?

I think marketing money toward women could be a smart move.


Roy Ibarra

Campaign Pushes For Woman On $20 Bill

Those women are great, but they never helped wipe out an entire people.


Frank Binder

Campaign Pushes For Woman On $20 Bill

I, for one, would love to say I have a wad full of Tubmans.


Stephanie Mills

NYC To Give Students Muslim Holy Days Off From School

New York City mayor Bill de Blasio officially added two Muslim holy days, Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha, to the public school calendar, making it the nation's largest school district to close schools in observance of Muslim sacred days. What do you think?

Good. I've been looking for something to overreact to.


Jonathan Hensel

Okay, so long as my child doesn't actually have to learn anything about the day or culture itself.


Barry Hagel

Sure. I could use a couple extra days off to warn my kids about the coming Islamization of America.


Max Granders

Uber Launches Quarterly Print Magazine For Drivers

In what some say is an effort to make amends with drivers whose data was stolen and who have complained about working conditions, Uber has launched a new print magazine specifically for their drivers called Momentum, which will feature tips for staying healthy behind the wheel, where to find bathrooms, and more. What do you think?

After a long, draining shift behind the wheel, I want nothing more than to read about how great it was.


Rosemary Schoessel

Nothing says 'cutting-edge tech company' like a new print magazine.


Henry Stein

You know your company cares about you when they're willing to give you printed directions to public bathrooms.


Patti Jones

Ringling Bros. To Phase Out Elephants

Citing a mood shift among their consumers, officials for Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus have announced that The Greatest Show on Earth will phase out its elephant performers by 2018 and retire them to a 200-acre sanctuary in central Florida. What do you think?

Dang. Will I still be able to catch a glimpse of them at every zoo across America?


Mark Sprenger

Ringling Bros. To Phase Out Elephants

What's the point of going to the circus if not to witness the abject cruelty of man?


Henry Moen

Ringling Bros. To Phase Out Elephants

I wouldn't want to be the guy who has to tell the elephants.


Alicia Seabrook

Court: Man Can't Sue Applebee's For Burning Self On Fajitas While Praying

An appellate court in New Jersey ruled this week that an Applebee's customer who bowed his head close to his table for prayer before a meal and burned his face on a plate of sizzling-hot fajitas cannot sue the restaurant for damages, saying that hot food poses an open and obvious danger. What do you think?

Yet more evidence that religious freedom is under attack.


Jason Horst

A man of faith is always beset with delicious, sizzling-hot challenges.


Zachary Fitting

Every last person who sits down in an Applebee's knows the risks involved.


David Greer

Tim Cook: Apple Watch Will Make Driving Safer

Ahead of today's release of the Apple Watch, Apple CEO Tim Cook said in an interview with the Telegraph that the new device will function in place of keys to unlock cars and allow drivers to make calls without taking their hands off the steering wheel. What do you think?

Awesome. It currently takes three seconds to get into my car, but I've been trying to trim that down to two.


Frank Dorff

Are these features backwards-compatible with the 1999 Buick LeSabre?


Alyssa Bolden

The key industry is long overdue for some disruption.


Annette Wood

Study: Female Orcas Take On Leadership Roles After Menopause

A new study has found that after female orcas go through menopause, they become leaders in their community by passing on knowledge about finding food and sharing their wisdom with younger whales. What do you think?


Ben Valverde

Wow, gender roles are really topsy-turvy under the sea.


Joe Beltran

Going through menopause at SeaWorld has to fucking suck.


Aaron Modzelewski

Study: 15% Of Boston Toddlers Drink Coffee

According to a new study led by Boston Medical Center, 15 percent of Boston 2-year-olds drink up to four ounces of coffee per day, which experts say may put them at risk for diabetes, obesity, depression, and caffeine addiction. What do you think?

Kids are adults capable of making their own decisions.


Melissa McCurley

How else are they supposed to function on only 12 hours of sleep?


Doug Redman

I tried raising kids without coffee, but they won't eat their biscotti without it.


Aiden Ball

Study: Parents Cause Narcissism In Children

A new study from the Netherlands has found that the development of narcissism in children may be caused in large part by parents who coddle them, call them special, and otherwise give them an inflated sense of their own worth. What do you think?


Maureen Nieves

I struggle to find the balance between raising a narcissistic asshole and a jerk with a chip on his shoulder.


Richard Henderson

But what if my parents just objectively realized I was great at everything?


Ramiro Carpenter

Facebook Removes 'Feeling Fat' From Status Update Options

After users complained that the emoticon encourages eating disorders and negative body image, Facebook officials deleted feeling fat from the list of status update options users can choose to indicate their mood. What do you think?

If Facebook were truly worried about its users' self-esteem it wouldn't exist.


Krista Rosser

Hopefully someday Facebook can make it impossible to express any negative feelings whatsoever.


Kennith Shorter

If this doesn't fix everyone's body image disorders, I give up.


Patricia Edwards

Solar-Powered Plane Begins Flight Around Globe

Solar Impulse 2, an ultralight aircraft designed to run entirely on solar power, took off from Abu Dhabi on a journey around the world Monday and will continue to fly around the globe for much of the next year. What do you think?

I guess the sun is good for something after all.


Matthew Rabon

Sometimes I feel like the only one still using fossil fuels.


David Velez

What better advertisement for clean, sustainable power than very gradually ending up where you started?


Gerald Adams

High School Seniors Vote For Communism-Themed Prom

Teenagers at a high school in New Mexico have voted to make the theme of their prom communism and name the event Prom-munism, prompting the head of the school to plan a talk with the students about what communism really means so they can decide whether they want to celebrate it. What do you think?

Sure, a communism prom theme sounds good in theory, but it's terrible in practice.


Lynn Gildersleeve

Before we rush to judgment, when they say 'communism,' do they mean classic Marxism or the blend of authoritarianism and market economics pioneered by Deng Xiaoping?


Alex Wendler

Everyone knows prom is supposed to highlight class differences based on who can afford a limo.


Phil Horton

Burger King Quietly Drops Soda From Kids' Menu

Fast food chain Burger King has quietly dropped sodas and other sugary beverages from children's menus and replaced them with low-fat milk and low-fat chocolate milk. What do you think?

This has the first lady's fingerprints all over it.


Caroline Licari

My kids prefer the adult-sized sodas anyway.


Ross Keinberger

I knew we'd eventually get more cow on that menu.


Matt Ireland

Photographer Sparks Backlash For Wrapping Baby In American Flag

A photographer has sparked backlash for posting pictures from a photoshoot she did for a military family in which she wrapped their newborn baby in an American flag, which led Facebook users to accuse her of desecrating the flag and being disrespectful. What do you think?

That baby's first words better be an apology.


Lauryn Lewis

If that baby wants to wear an American flag, she has to wait until she's grown up and can buy an American flag bikini like the rest of us.


Nick Feitel

Don't blame it all on the photographer. That baby was loving it in there.


Simon Eckstein

Report: Texas Down To Last Lethal Injection Dose

While there are still six more prisoners on death row, Texas is reportedly down to its last dose of pentobarbital after executing a prisoner last week, giving it only enough substance for one more lethal injection. What do you think?

The crime rate must be going through the roof over there now that criminals know they'll just waste away in jail.


Brandi Garlock

One dose of pentobarbital for six prisoners—I love riddles!


Sam Molina

I hope they saved it for a special occasion, like executing someone with an IQ less than 65.


David Koenig

Study: Men Who Are Nice To Women May Be 'Benevolent Sexists'

According to a new study examining nonverbal cues between men and women, men who smile at women, pay for dinner, open doors, put them on a pedestal, and give other positive cues may actually be benevolent sexists who have well-intentioned views on women that actually perpetuate gender inequality. What do you think?

I think it would be best at this point if men and women simply went their separate ways.


Leslie Torday

These days, it's impossible to find a good man who will just sit there with a blank look on his face.


Carlos McKeon

If it will make my princess happy, I'll stop putting her on a pedestal.


Caleb Wexler

NASA: California Has One Year Of Water Left

A scientist at the NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory wrote an editorial stating that prolonged droughts have left California with at most one more year of water, adding that our strategic backup supply, groundwater, is rapidly disappearing. What do you think?

Oh, they're always yelling that we have one year left of something.


Tamra Westhoff

They might be able to stretch it to two if everyone agrees to only fill their swimming pools halfway.


James Carlson

If anyone can solve this, Hollywood can.


Mary Landon

Paleo Cookbook For Babies Raises Concerns

Health officials in Australia are investigating a new cookbook for infants titled Bubba Yum Yum: The Paleo Way For New Mums, Babies And Toddlers, which teaches parents how to put their babies on a paleo diet, including a recipe for homemade formula. What do you think?

It's difficult choosing the right fads for your newborn.


Grant Milhiser

I don't think anyone should go on a paleo diet until they're at least old enough to act smug about it.


Thomas Thorne

Look, baby fat doesn't just go away on its own.


Roger Gordon

Report: Coca-Cola Paid Experts To Say Soda Is A Healthy Snack

According to a report by the Associated Press, Coca-Cola paid numerous fitness and nutrition experts to say that the sugary, high-fructose, and high-calorie soft drink could be part of a healthy diet and even recommended mini cans of Coke as a healthy snack. What do you think?

You can't just expect experts to destroy their credibility for free.


Helen Gross

Every nutritionist has to take one or two jobs like this early in their career.


Carl Nguyen

I'm actually kind of flattered Coca-Cola thinks we listen to health experts.


Jerome McCoy

Secret Service Asks For $8 Million To Build Fake White House For Training Agents

Following a series of embarrassing gaffes involving agents, the head of the Secret Service asked Congress for $8 million to construct a full-scale replica of the White House in Maryland to serve as a training ground for its agents. What do you think?

Sure, we'd all like a full-scale White House replica every time we screw up at work.


Olga Garland

It's hard to believe there's not an eccentric billionaire somewhere who already has a full-scale White House replica they could rent.


Jeff Gunter

Let them train all they want, but I will still get in and out completely undetected. I will pet those dogs.


Juan Foster

SXSW Speaker: Silicon Valley Bubble Poised To Burst

At the South by Southwest festival in Austin this week, prominent investor Bill Gurley warned against the growing tech bubble and the complete absence of fear in Silicon Valley, stressing that venture capitalists shouldn't invest in so many companies with good ideas but no business experience. What do you think?

Reading about financial advice just doesn't capture the magic of the live experience.


David Richmond

What if there was a way to know exactly when this will happen? What if it were as easy as checking your email?


Jess Heier

Someone's not getting invited back to South by next year.


Meg Lindeman

Workers: McDonald's Told Us To Put Mustard On Burns

In a series of health and safety complaints filed against the company, employees at McDonald's alleged that their supervisors told them to put condiments on severe burns they got on the job instead of administering first-aid cream or seeking other care. What do you think?

I think it's great more corporations are willing to embrace homeopathic remedies.


Ernest Hunt

Sure, it's not ideal, but the alternative is waiting more than 18 seconds for our fries.


Ken Hagman

The soda straws make shitty stents, too.


Elmer Torres

Study: Breastfed Babies Earn More Money As Adults

According to a new study, babies who were breastfed end up having higher IQs and earning higher salaries as adults than those who weren't. What do you think?

I was wondering how the hell I got so rich.


Laura Kinley

It's always nice to know precisely how my failings are my mother's fault.


Dirk Brewer

I'm going to mention that the next time I ask for a raise.


Matt Egal

Lego Magazine Offers Beauty Tips To Young Girls

Lego angered some parents this week with a spread in its Lego Club Magazine titled Emma's Beauty Tips, which is aimed at 5- to 12-year-old girls, offering pointers on styling hair and going to the salon. What do you think?

A product catalogue should make children feel bad for the things they don't have, not the way they don't look.


Joe Strazzullo

Looking good is important if you want to land one of the hot guys from the Star Wars: Battle Of Endor set.


Lillian Moss

Finally, a magazine that embraces the weird yellow bump on my daughter's head.


Sebastian Parnell

New Hampshire Legislators Kill Fourth-Graders' Bill To Their Faces

When a group of fourth-graders in New Hampshire proposed a bill in the state legislature to establish the red-tailed hawk as the New Hampshire state raptor, lawmakers shut the measure down, arguing, It grasps [its prey] with its talons then uses its razor sharp beak to basically tear it apart limb by limb, among other objections. What do you think?

And that's why you don't push your bill until you know you have the votes.


Tim McMullen

Sounds like the fourth-graders at Lincoln H. Akerman School just wasted a lot of political capital.


Joe Barcenas

Study: Teens Change Clothes, Do Homework While Driving

In a new study published in the Journal Of Transportation Safety And Security, 27 percent of teenagers admitted to changing clothes while behind the wheel, and many stated that they also do homework, put on makeup, or change their contacts. What do you think?

Yet another reason to have your parents drive you around for the rest of your life.


Brian Carter

Teens will do anything to sneak in some extra homework.


Maryanne Sheridan

As a parent, I try to set a good example by only changing my contact lenses when I'm at a long stoplight.


Louis Sheets

King Richard III Reburied 530 Years After Death

Five hundred thirty years after his death, England has decided to give King Richard III an official state burial by interring his body, which was discovered under a parking lot three years ago, at Leicester's Anglican cathedral, in a decision that some have viewed as a proper send-off for a former king and others have deemed a cheap spectacle. What do you think?

I wonder what society will be like when we dig him up again in another 530 years.


David Martinez

Hopefully this time the people of England can finally let him go for good.


Sheila Ackerson

I'd hate to see the British monarchy reduced to cheap spectacle.


Robert Pickett

Guinness To Start Offering Calorie Counts

Diageo PLC, the largest alcohol company in the world, which owns brands like Guinness and Johnnie Walker, announced that it will soon start offering calorie counts and other per-serving nutritional info on bottles and cans. What do you think?

Now health nuts will have no excuse for not drinking.


Anna Davies

All I need to know is how many of the calories stay inside me after I throw up.


Floyd Dowdy

Report: Students Had To Attend Ted Cruz Rally Or Face Fine

According to students at Liberty University who spoke to BuzzFeed News, the conservative Christian university chose to host Ted Cruz's presidential campaign announcement during one of the school's mandatory convocations held three times per week, which resident students must attend or else pay a $10 fine, a decision that some students criticized as sending the message that the student body endorses Cruz. What do you think?

You have to admit, the mandatory standing ovation was pretty rousing.


Russell Pauley

I thought those thousands of young people were simply drawn there by the inescapable pull of Cruz Mania.


Christine McDaniel

I'd pay $10 to not have to listen to Ted Cruz.


Jeff Castillo

Gap CEO Hints At Vending Machines For Clothes

In an interview with Fast Company, Gap CEO Art Peck said that as part of his company's push to incorporate technology into its operations, he has thought about the possibility of introducing vending machines for clothes. What do you think?

Their clothes never look as good on me as they do balled up in their vending machine slot.


Jane Ayala

I'm worried I'll push the wrong button and end up with pleats.


Noel Thomas

This is perfect for all the times I find myself out and about with $40 in change and no pants.


Matthew Hughes

Catholic High School Insists On Pre-Approving Prom Dresses

According to a report in the York Daily Record, a Catholic high school in McSherrystown, PA has instituted a new policy requiring female students to submit photos of their intended prom dresses to school faculty for pre-approval before they can buy tickets to prom. What do you think?

If this can prevent the embarrassment of two girls showing up in the same dress, it's worth it.


Katherine Johnson

Great, now I have to hire a photographer for my kid too?


Walter Cross

It shouldn't have to be this complicated for young people to sleep together.


Katherine Neer

Parents Let Kids Play On Vietnam War Memorial

Parents visiting Washington, D.C. with their kids this week sparked outrage and controversy by encouraging them to climb and play on the Vietnam Women's Memorial, which honors U.S. women who served in Vietnam. What do you think?

Listen, if you know a better way to get children ready for naptime besides letting them climb all over a solemn tribute to fallen veterans, I'm all ears.


Randolph Symons

If you don't want kids playing on your memorial, don't make it such a fun reminder of the cost of war.


Eva Landaverde

New Facebook 'On This Day' Feature Unearths Photos From Past

Facebook has introduced a new feature called On This Day that allows users to unearth photos they shared or were tagged in from the past, which they can then choose to share with friends. What do you think?

Cool. I'm tired of coming up with new memories.


Tom Wallace

My least favorite part of 'This Day In History' features was that they were always about people who weren't me.


Erick Hughes

Wait, Facebook's been saving our photos all this time?


Jerry Barnes

McDonald's Debuts Big Mac Clothing Line

McDonald's debuted a new lifestyle product line featuring clothes printed with patterns of Big Mac burgers as part of its imlovinit24 corporate marketing campaign, which involved staging 24 McDonald's-themed stunts over 24 hours. What do you think?

I'm already wearing their sauce on most of my shirts.


Judi Pearce

McDonald's Debuts Big Mac Clothing Line

After decades spent perfecting the hamburger, it's only natural that they'd want to branch out creatively.


Aaron Bullington

McDonald's Debuts Big Mac Clothing Line


Pam Coyle

NYC Tourists Incite Outrage By Taking 'Selfies' At East Village Blast Site

Following a gas explosion at an East Village apartment building last week that killed two people, a handful of tourists were observed taking self-portraits of themselves in front of the blast site, inciting a flood of criticism online. What do you think?

It's unfair to condemn those people before seeing how the pictures turned out.


Ralph Barros

That's pretty gratuitous considering there were plenty of bystanders who could have taken that photo for them.


James Finch

If you can offend people here, you can truly offend people anywhere.


Michael West

Study: Women Who Sleep Longer Have More Sex

According to a small study conducted by the University of Michigan, women who sleep longer hours have an increase in sexual desire the next day and are more likely to have sex. What do you think?

Wow, the modern woman seems to have time for everything!


Milton Knuckles

My wife's going to be insatiable when she wakes up from her coma.


Rodney Gibbs

Report: Bill Clinton Gave Romney Debate Advice For Beating Obama

In an article about how Bill Clinton's mistakes could potentially derail his wife's presidential campaign if she runs, The New York Times reported that while he was backstage with Mitt Romney at the 2012 Clinton Global Initiative, he gave Romney advice about how to go up against Obama during the presidential debates. What do you think?

Boy, I'd make a several-hundred-thousand–dollar campaign contribution to be a fly on that wall.


Victoria Sullivan

That explains why Romney was so full of Clinton-esque charm and brilliance during the debates.


Wesley Garrett

He must have really wanted those tax cuts.


Kathy McIntosh

Study: Amount Of Time Spent With Kids Doesn't Matter

A new study has found that the amount of time parents spend with kids between ages 3 and 11 has less correlation with how they turn out than the quality of their time spent together, so it's important that parents aren't too stressed, anxious, or sleep-deprived when they're interacting with their kids. What do you think?

I'll hold off on celebrating until they publish a study saying the quality of my parenting doesn't matter either.


Kyle Fisk

Imagine how many loving and involved parents out there feel like total dumbshits right now.


Leonard Shupe

Well, something I did sure messed them up.


Tracy Holmes

Study: Kids Allowed To Sip Alcohol Drink More As Teens

According to a new study, kids who have sipped alcohol by the sixth grade are five times more likely to have had a full drink by high school and four times more likely to get drunk or binge drink as teens. What do you think?

If I have to spend time with my kid, then they need to learn to hang.


Scott Klein

No kid should be denied a sip of a perfectly mixed Negroni.


Jerry Borne

It makes sense that kids who were cool in grade school would be even cooler as teenagers.


Rebecca Sherriff

NBC Announces Next Live Musical Will Be 'The Wiz'

NBC has announced its next live holiday musical production will be The Wiz, a long-running musical theater version of The Wizard Of Oz starring a predominantly African-American cast, which was turned into a movie starring Michael Jackson in 1978. What do you think?

I don't know, remakes of adaptations of classic films based on famous books are always hit-or-miss.


Cory Rolland

Good. My VCR machine ate my copy of 'The Wiz' and I need to tape a new one.


David Oliver

I can't wait to see which actor gets to disappoint everybody by not being Michael Jackson.


John Lenihan

Karl Lagerfeld's Cat Made $3 Million Last Year From Modeling Gigs

In an interview with New York magazine, fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld said that his cat, Choupette, made $3 million from two modeling gigs last year, one for a German car ad and the other for a Japanese beauty product. What do you think?

I just hope that cat is saving its money, because modeling careers don't last forever.


Karen Powers

That's more than most cats earn in their lifetime.


Doug Roy

Cat modeling is a lot harder than it looks.


Howard Davis

Madame Tussauds Appoints 'Tissue Attendant' To Comfort One Direction Fans

A spokesman for Madame Tussauds wax museum in London said in a statement that museum officials brought in 150 boxes of tissues to the One Direction exhibit and appointed a tissue attendant to help fans grieving over the departure of Zayn Malik, whose wax figure will not be removed from the lineup. What do you think?

Visiting a wax museum is the most important step in the grieving process.


Anthony Oyer

That's the holy grail for tissue attendants.


Nicole Hodges

What's the point? It isn't going to bring Zayn back.


Brenda Picou

McDonald's Raising Wages 10% To Attract Better Workers

McDonald's has announced that beginning July 1, it is raising employee wages at corporate-owned locations 10 percent, from an average of $9.01 per hour to an average of $9.90 per hour, which experts say will help it attract better and more sought-after employees. What do you think?

With a raise that big, I'm worried that the new workers will be too good.


Salvatore Turner

Are they sure their employees can handle the pressure that comes with earning $9.90 an hour?


Daryl Brinson

All well and good, but the Filet-O-Fish better not budge from the Dollar Menu.


Katherine Ashley

Stanford Offering Free Tuition To Students Whose Families Make Less Than $125,000

As part of an effort to make college accessible and affordable, Stanford University has announced that it will offer free tuition to students whose parents make less than $125,000 per year. What do you think?

Now there's nothing stopping the middle class from attending Stanford except the strong correlation between wealth and test scores.


Joe Tate

But isn't the most important lesson of college learning how to manage soul-crushing debt?


Peter Saunders

As long as these low-income students still face an added burden not required of their wealthy peers, I'm fine with it.


Dorothy Farrow

Report: High School Students Using Instagram To Choose Colleges

According to a report in Time magazine, many high school students are using Instagram to choose which college they will attend by checking out photos others have taken of the campus, at parties, or around town, which they say provide a more realistic look at the school than the materials the school publishes online. What do you think?

Instagram's developers must be glad somebody's finally using it for its intended purpose.


David Pitts

That's ridiculous. The only responsible way to choose a school is arbitrary ranking systems.


Marvin Jones

They should at least check out a few classes on Vine before they make their final decision.


Maria Black

Supporters Raise $840K For Anti–Gay Marriage Pizza Joint

After the owners of an Indiana pizzeria said they wouldn't be comfortable catering gay weddings, in a statement that prompted threats and led them to close their establishment, supporters started an online fundraiser for their family that has raised more than $840,000. What do you think?

I feel like a sucker for hating on people for free.


Nathan Kamen

The greatest triumph for any chef is having their food become a political wedge issue.


Justin Stolle

I'll hate whoever, just please fund my web series.


Pamela Pace

Judge: Woman Can File Divorce Papers On Facebook

According to a report in the New York Daily News, a judge in New York granted a woman the right to serve her husband divorce papers via a private Facebook message because he refuses to provide an address, ruling that This transmittal shall be repeated by plaintiff's attorney to defendant once a week for three consecutive weeks or until acknowledged. What do you think?

It'd be easier to just post the divorce papers and tag him.


Eric Blakely

I worry that using Facebook and social media will ultimately hurt our ability to divorce face-to-face.


James Williams

That's why I make sure never to friend my wife's divorce attorney on Facebook.


John Halverson

Obama Supports Banning Gay 'Conversion' Therapies For Minors

Inspired to act in part by the suicide of transgender teen Leelah Alcorn, President Obama gave his support to banning practitioners of gay conversion or reparative therapy from performing it on minors. What do you think?

That's okay, I was hoping my son's conversion would be something we could do together.


Julia Lemaster

There goes Obama destroying small-business owners again.


Tim Nicosia

Luckily, there are still plenty of ways for me to let my gay child know how much he disappoints me.


Jack Erler

7-Eleven Launches 'Bring Your Own Cup' Slurpee Day

As part of a new marketing campaign, 7-Eleven has announced that on Saturday, it will allow customers to pay $1.49 and fill up any container they bring into the store with a Slurpee as long as the container can fit through a 10-inch hole and meet other restrictions. What do you think?

Finally, the only thing limiting the damage I can do to my body is my imagination.


Carter Bybee

I'll probably go just to watch the cashier pretend this is fun for him.


Camille Murray

All the cups at my house are from 7-Eleven anyway.


Rex Brantley

Report: NFL Hires First Female Referee

According to a report in the Baltimore Sun, the NFL has moved to hire its first full-time regular season female referee, a former college-level official named Sarah Thomas. What do you think?

Hopefully this helps counter the overwhelmingly male bias in offsides calls.


Martin Gomes

Report: NFL Hires First Female Referee

It's about time. They've had the halloween costume for years.


Penny Thornton

Report: NFL Hires First Female Referee

Finally, my daughter lives in a world where she can someday be cursed out by an entire stadium.


April Jones

Report: American Millennials Among Least Skilled In World

A new report by the nonprofit Educational Testing Service found that even though millennial Americans age 20 to 34 are attaining higher levels of education than their peers in other countries, they have far fewer job skills. What do you think?

Somehow, though, we always nail the interview.


William Wellman

The rest of the world seems like a pretty arbitrary standard.


David Gaines

Sure, but what we lack in competency we make up for with unjustifiably high self-esteem.


Brian Hunt

Cosmologists: Aliens Most Likely Huge

Using energy conservation laws, cosmologists at the University of Barcelona have concluded that if intelligent extraterrestrials exist, they are likely to weigh 600 pounds or more and bear little resemblance to their portrayal in pop culture. What do you think?


Harry Kiser

Cosmologists: Aliens Most Likely Huge

Can't I accept anything Hollywood has told me about aliens at face value?


Wendy Rivera

Cosmologists: Aliens Most Likely Huge

Just tell me how high up in the tree to tie my food.


Randall Dawson

Study Links Facebook To Depression

A new study has found that people who use Facebook are more likely to report feelings of depression, most likely due to the phenomenon of social comparison in which people weigh the average moments in their own lives against the highlight reels posted online by their friends. What do you think?

It's terrible that it's depressing all my friends, but my life is pretty fucking great.


Erin Williams

Study Links Facebook To Depression

That's why I hide updates from all but my most pathetic friends.


Gerald Szabo

Study Links Facebook To Depression

What's the alternative, just not using Facebook?


Brenda Shumpert

Financial Date Nights' Can Benefit Couples

In his book The Couple's Guide To Financial Compatibility, financial advisor Jeff Motske writes that spouses should have date nights to discuss issues like taxes, kids' tuition, and home improvements to avoid fighting over money. What do you think?

I guess if we're going to argue in public it might as well be over something important.


Joseph Flanigan

Okay, but some nights I want to just go out with my buddies and balance my checkbook.


John Engstrom

I can't wait to lay my wife on a bed of receipts.


Tim Jefferson

Pot Smokers Around World Celebrate 4/20

Today is 4/20, the unofficial marijuana holiday when pot lovers around the world attend rallies, public smoke sessions, festivals, and other marijuana-related events, as well as just smoke with friends. How are you celebrating?

Believe it or not, my boss is making me come into work.


Rob Carstens

Pot Smokers Around World Celebrate 4/20


Lanie Brock

Pot Smokers Around World Celebrate 4/20

I'll probably celebrate with some harder drugs.


Rudy Malone

Study: Men Gamble Bigger When Physically Attractive Guys Are Around

According to a new study, heterosexual men in gambling situations made bigger and riskier bets after being shown photographs of male Abercrombie and Fitch models and other attractive men, with scientists explaining that men want to appear more desirable to women, and having more money is one way to do so. What do you think?

I've said it a thousand times: Never show me pictures of attractive male models when I'm shooting craps.


Cassandra Kimbrough

Hot guys, gambling, and chicks: This study has it all!


Doug Rustin

I wish I were handsome enough to make someone ruin his life.


Emilio Lussier

Aquarium Gives Penguins Private 'Honeymoon Suites' To Encourage Mating

In an effort to encourage the endangered animals to breed more chicks, the New England Aquarium is giving eight pairs of penguins igloo-like honeymoon suites away from the main exhibit to get them in the mood for mating. What do you think?

I didn't shell out $30 just to watch some sexy penguins go into an igloo.


Chris Matheney

How am I going to explain to my kids what those two penguins are doing in there?


Frances Baynes

It will not shield them from God's stern gaze.


Jason Nichols

Kraft Eliminating Fake Blazing Orange Color From Mac And Cheese

After being targeted by consumer advocacy groups and losing customers to healthier foods, Kraft Foods Group said it will remove the iconic bright orange artificial coloring from its mac and cheese product and replace it with colors derived from natural sources like paprika, annatto, and turmeric. What do you think?

Probably for the best. My doctor's been telling me to lay off powdered cheese-like substances lately.


Kenneth Tan

Thankfully, there's still plenty of other places to get my recommended daily dose of Yellow 5.


Jessica Mayer

Okay, as long as they don't try to be fancy and use real cheese.


John Teele

Report: Teens Injuring Lips Doing 'Kylie Jenner Challenge'

Reports have emerged that a Twitter hashtag trend called the Kylie Jenner Challenge, which involves suctioning the lips with a bottle or other object to achieve pouty lips like those of reality star Kylie Jenner, has led many people to develop bruising, inflammation, cuts, and other dangerous facial injuries. What do you think?

Thankfully, as an adult I have the life experience necessary to take the Kylie Jenner Challenge in a responsible manner.


Grant Halbert

See what happens when we don't teach our children to achieve dramatic effects with carefully applied makeup?


Laurel Jacoby

We shouldn't be encouraging teens to alter their bodies in this way when cosmetic surgery is cheaper than ever.


Rosemary Woods

Study: Vaccines Don't Cause Autism Even In High-Risk Kids

Confirming previous studies that have shown there is no link between vaccines and autism, a new study has found that even kids at a higher risk of developing autism, such as those with autism in the family, were no more likely to develop autism after being vaccinated. What do you think?

Let me know when there's a study that shows what I know in my heart.


Matt Pugliese

Isn't it kind of suspicious that every credible study on the subject says the same thing?


Don Kunkel

I guess the search continues for a way to give kids autism.


Martha Laskin

Ben Affleck: I Was 'Embarrassed' By Slave-Owner Ancestor

Actor Ben Affleck admitted that he lobbied producers of the PBS series Finding Your Roots to cover up the fact that one of his ancestors owned slaves because he was embarrassed, though he later recanted and agreed to include the information. What do you think?

He played with the PBS fire, and he got burned.


Barry Kokesh

Eh, we all have at least one life-destroying shithead who helped set the country back decades in the family.


Geoff Hanson

Matt Damon never would have allowed his ancestors to own slaves.


Mark Lopez

Arizona State Offering 'Pay-As-You-Pass' College Courses

Arizona State University has announced a new program allowing students to enroll in freshman online courses and pay for a class only if they pass and plan to use the credits, which will help them reduce the risk of going into huge debt. What do you think?

I always said I would take college classes if I didn't have to go anywhere, didn't have to pass anything, and didn't have to pay for it.


Emilia Lemaire

Education should be paid for in the same way as cell phones and rent-to-own furniture.


Joseph Borg

I can't wait to dupe the system by gaining knowledge without totally destroying my future.


Laurily Hedman

Native American Actors Walk Off Set Of Adam Sandler Movie

Numerous Native American actors reportedly walked off the set of the new Adam Sandler movie The Ridiculous Six due to the film's offensive material, including jokes about Apache women named Beaver's Breath and No Bra. What do you think?

Without the authenticity of Native American actors, I fear the film's historical integrity will suffer.


Ross Ballard

I have a feeling those jokes will be just as funny no matter who plays Beaver's Breath.


Linda Jennette

Amazon Testing Car Trunk Delivery

Amazon is testing a new delivery service in Munich, Germany that would allow customers to order products from its website and have them delivered to the trunk of their Audi car if they are at work or otherwise unavailable to accept the package. What do you think?

I'd rather stick to buying junk out of the backs of cars.


Joe Stauffer

Amazon Testing Car Trunk Delivery

Okay, but they're going to have to push about a dozen snow shovels out of the way first.


Lee Hutchins

Amazon Testing Car Trunk Delivery

Living in your car gets easier every day!


Brett Fletcher

Conservative Group: Gay Marriage Will Lead To 900,000 Abortions

In anticipation of the Supreme Court's upcoming ruling on same-sex marriage, a Utah lawyer filed an amicus brief on behalf of 100 conservative scholars of marriage arguing that legalizing gay marriage will cause 900,000 abortions because it will devalue the institution, leading to fewer couples marrying and resulting in a greater number of single women, who have higher abortion rates than their married peers. What do you think?


Ashley Schultz

Imaginary baby deaths are a tragedy that must be averted.


Gordon Willbanks

Come on, no way it results in more than 635,000 abortions.


David Goetz

Abercrombie & Fitch No Longer Placing Shirtless Models Outside Stores

As part of its ongoing effort to revamp its image and modernize, clothing retailer Abercrombie & Fitch announced it will no longer place shirtless male models outside stores as greeters. What do you think?

The unemployment line just got a little sexier.


James Marino

It's getting harder and harder to be a beefcake in today's society.


Sonja Thomas

Hopefully Abercrombie will find good families for those hunks before they have to put them down.


Daniel Doty

Professor Fails Entire Class For Bad Behavior

Saying that he reached his breaking point after students repeatedly threatened him, swore, and cheated on their assignments, a professor at Texas A&M Galveston reportedly failed an entire class by reprimanding them in a long letter, then quit his job. What do you think?

I hope he still left time at the end for everyone to fill out course evaluations.


Clara Delouche

Listen, I didn't pay full tuition for my kid to be kicked out of class by some professor who doesn't like being called a fucking moron.


Chester Eatmon

But making your professor completely lose faith in the next generation is a time-honored college tradition.


Mark Russell

Report: Apple Watch Doesn't Work Well On Tattooed Wrists

According to emerging reports from users, the new Apple Watch doesn't work as well when worn on tattooed wrists because the ink causes the sensors to repeatedly ask for security codes, misread heart rates, interfere with apps, and make other errors. What do you think?

I thought I'd be a lot older by the time I finally started regretting this tattoo.


Virgie Langford

If only there were another way for those users to have their music, contacts, and favorite apps all in one place.


Jacqueline Suarez

That's fine, I'm not wearing it to use it.


Virginia Miller

London Shop Relaunching Breast Milk Ice Cream In Honor Of Royal Baby

In an effort to highlight the benefits of breastfeeding and celebrate the upcoming birth of the new royal baby, Licktators, an ice cream store in London, is relaunching its line of ice cream made with breast milk, called Royal Baby Gaga. What do you think?


Ron Chesser

I'll stick with heavily processed bovine secretions, thank you.


Marie Pearson

Report: U.S. Zoos Letting Elephants Die Out

According to a report from the Associated Press, zoos across the country are opting to let their elephant populations die off instead of replacing them, in part because it's hard to provide enough space and in part because new national guidelines make it tougher to maintain good-sized herds. What do you think?

Everyone always wants an elephant until they realize what a hassle it is to care for one.


Leonard Hawes

Good. I'm sick of all these endangered animals coasting off zoos for survival.


Elma Lindsay

A shame. Some of the best times of my life were taking my daughter to the zoo to see the mentally ill elephants in their tiny enclosures.


Wilson Ashford

McDonald's Axes 7 Sandwiches In 'Menu Simplification'

McDonald's has announced it will undergo menu simplification by dropping seven sandwiches, as well as honey mustard and chipotle barbecue snack wraps, from its menu in an effort to speed up service and streamline ordering. What do you think?

The snack wrap black market is about to explode.


Kylie Farias

Now they can devote their attention to getting the other 120 items on the menu just right.


Alan Upton

Typography Expert: Times New Roman Bad Choice For Résumé

According to a typography expert interviewed by Bloomberg Business, the classic serif typeface Times New Roman is a poor choice for résumés because it's a default font that may be considered unthoughtful. What do you think?

Nothing says 'I'm currently unemployed' like a painstakingly selected font.


Amelia Payne

Garamond it is. Glad I never have to think about this ever again.


Charlotte Benson

School District Served Meat From 2009, Hid Stench With Gravy

According to a report from a local ABC affiliate, a school district in Tennessee thawed out pork frozen since 2009 and served it to students, smothering it in gravy to mask its stench and give it a better taste. What do you think?

To be fair, 2009 was a pretty good year for pork.


Michael Lloyd

I think it's obvious the solution here is charter schools.


Ed McCrary

I've learned the hard way that covering things with gravy doesn't always solve life's problems.


Patricia Barrientos

Mayweather-Pacquiao Fight Derided As Boring

Saturday's welterweight title fight between boxers Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao, which had been hyped as the Fight of the Century, was widely criticized as boring and a waste of time by many viewers who paid $100 to watch it on TV. What do you think?

I thought the third and 29th punches were all right.


Glenn Fredericks

This sucks. I bet there won't be another 'Fight of the Century' for at least five or 10 more months.


Frank Bombard

It's true. I've never seen a less entertaining display of brutality.


Cory Hooper

Study: Funny Men Better In Bed

According to a new study, funny men are more likely to give women orgasms and have partners who want to have sex more often. What do you think?

Aw, man. All I have is a chiseled jaw, athletic physique, and boundless wealth.


Kara Hurley

Study: Funny Men Better In Bed

So, the same guys who mistakenly think they're funny will now mistakenly think they're good in bed?


Michael Eubanks

Study: Funny Men Better In Bed

So that's why my girlfriend was moaning Bob Newhart's name in bed last night.


Josh Frazier

Study: Online Breast Milk May Be Mixed With Cow's Milk

According to researchers, new mothers seeking to buy premium breast milk online at milk-sharing sites may want to reconsider, because new studies have shown that the products may be deliberately mixed with up to 10 percent cow's milk to stretch their volume. What do you think?

Buying bodily fluids online has always been a gamble.


Ralph Turner

It's getting to be that you can't unquestioningly feed your baby anything you find online.


Mary Gillespie

That's still a lot better than what my own is mixed with.


Jeff Matthews

College Student Arrested For Spitting, Spraying Windex In Roommates' Food

A college student at the University of South Carolina was arrested after roommates set up a secret camera in their common space that recorded her spitting and spraying Windex into their food. What do you think?

Trying to date or poison a roommate are two of the biggest mistakes you make.


Charles Howell

Good luck trying to find a new roommate this late in the school year. Morons.


Andy Chapman

Man Nearly Loses Arms After Injecting Them To Look Like The Hulk

In an effort to make his body resemble the Incredible Hulk, a 25-year-old bodybuilder from Brazil reportedly injected his arms with a solution of oil and alcohol to grow his biceps, which solidified into rocks and nearly required amputation. What do you think?

What an idiot. Everyone knows that you have to blast yourself with gamma radiation to become the Hulk.


Jen Curtis

He should have spoken to a qualified physician about safe, responsible ways to look like a mutant.


Carlos Loewen

Tourists Break 18th-Century Hercules Statue Trying To Snap Selfie

Two tourists visiting the Loggia dei Militi palace in Cremona, Italy reportedly tried to take a selfie with an 18th-century marble statue depicting two figures of Hercules by climbing on it, causing a large marble crown at its top to fall off and shatter. What do you think?

It was probably about time to get a new statue anyway.


Katy Hart

Hey, if the site didn't place at least two signs on every single thing a tourist could possibly touch, this is on them.


Anthony Williams

It's fine. They should be able to Photoshop it back together.


Kelly Westbrook

Snowden Documents: NSA Can Search For Words Spoken In Phone Calls

According to newly released Edward Snowden documents, the NSA has a program it has nicknamed Google for Voice that is capable of creating very rough transcripts of what people have said during phone calls so some words can be archived and searched, although it is far from perfect at this point. What do you think?

Okay, but they're really missing out on my delivery.


Kyle Perea

This is why I don't pronounce anything the way it's spelled.


Joe Turnage

There's nothing quite like a rough transcript based on inaudible cell phone conversations to help charge people with terrorism.


Brian Ansley

McDonald's Reintroduces Hamburgler As Attractive Suburban Dad

McDonald's has reintroduced its iconic Hamburgler character as a slickly dressed dad who moved to the suburbs to raise his family but is now tempted back into a life of crime after being reminded about McDonald's hamburgers, a new identity that some internet users have said is sexy. What do you think?

McDonald's is wise to play into millennials' insatiable appetite for elaborate corporate mascot backstories.


Michael Zavala

There's nothing 'sexy' about recidivism.


Pamela Look

But he still represents pure evil, right?


Adam Kelly

Police Searching For Teen Who Spray-Painted 'Promposal' On Cliffside

Authorities in Idaho are searching for a teenager who spray-painted a prom proposal, or promposal, in huge pink-and-blue letters across the side of one of the state's scenic Black Cliffs. What do you think?

Who among us hasn't destroyed a national landmark in the name of love?


Jerry Castellanos

Sometimes it's hard to know where a romantic gesture ends and a misdemeanor begins.


Barbara Dunn

They should just look for the guy with the most smitten prom date.


Evelyn Pardue

Study: Half Of Tinder Users Aren't Single

According to a study by market research firm GlobalWebIndex, 30 percent of users on the smartphone hookup app Tinder are already married, and nearly 50 percent aren't single. What do you think?

I guess online dating really isn't just for losers anymore.


Allen Gonzalez

The internet has lost its innocence on this dark day.


James Holley

If you can think of a stealthier way to cheat than uploading my photo to a freely accessible dating app, I'd like to hear it.


Leon Murrah

Study: Pregnant Women's Cell Phone Rings May Startle Fetus

According to a small study that has not been peer-reviewed, a mother's cell phone rings may startle the fetus in the womb and disrupt its sleep cycle. What do you think?

That's awful. A child's natural biological rhythms shouldn't be disrupted by cell phone use until he or she is at least 5 years old.


Bradley Clark

Fetuses need to adapt to modern technology if they ever hope to make it in a 21st-century economy.


Joanne Jackson

My son did seem cranky when he was born.


Galen Harper

Starbucks Won't Bottle Water In California During Drought

Starbucks said that it will stop sourcing its Ethos bottled water from a private spring in the Sierra Nevada foothills and instead move bottling operations to Pennsylvania in an effort to support the people of the state of California as they face this unprecedented drought. What do you think?

I'm glad there are still companies willing to take well-publicized steps for the environment.


Linda Smithwick

As long as they still let me pay $3 for a bottle of water, they can fight that drought however they want.


Rosa Ball

Whole Foods Launching Chain Of Cheaper Stores For Millennials

Officials for Whole Foods have announced that the chain of high-end grocery stores will soon launch a line of lower-priced stores with a curated selection of more simply designed foods for millennials and others who can't afford Whole Foods' prices. What do you think?

But the thrill of living beyond your means is the best part of shopping at Whole Foods.


Joe DiPaolo

It's about time a corporation catered to the needs of the millennials.


Justin Shirk

Hey, making Whole Foods less expensive was my idea.


Sabrina Solomon

Report: Professor Requires Students To Take Final Exam In The Nude

According to a local ABC news affiliate, a professor at UC San Diego requires students in the class Visual Arts 104A: Performing the Self to strip naked and enact a performance of the self in a dark room for the final exam, though the school responded that students can also perform the exam with clothes on. What do you think?

Okay, but this better not be one of those bullshit finals where everyone gets an A for being themselves.


Stephen Wilson

If your kid is studying performance art at the college level, it's probably best to just ask as few questions as possible.


Paul Tarango

If I shell out $50,000 just for my son to refuse to get naked in front of his professor and fail out, I'm gonna be pissed.


Lori Barga

Report: Chris Christie Spent $300K From Expense Account On Food, Drinks

According to a report from Watchdog.org, New Jersey governor Chris Christie spent more than $300,000 from his state expense account during his five years in office on food, alcohol, and desserts. What do you think?

Look, if you want important people to come to New Jersey, you're going to need to wine and dine them.


Sean Lymon

Impressive, but I'm still not sure he's ready to misallocate funds at the presidential level.


Adam Kile

You can't expect him to eat thousands of dollars' worth of food without some drinks to wash it down.


Alicia DeMeo

Retailers Testing Virtual Fitting Rooms With Smart Mirrors

To compete with online retailers that can use browsing data to make wardrobe recommendations, upscale retailers like Neiman Marcus and Nordstrom are reportedly testing virtual fitting rooms with smart mirrors that allow customers to see what they would look like in different outfits without having to undress. What do you think?

No technology will ever be as effective at selling clothes as low-paid salespeople desperate to make a sale.


John Breen

I'm still not convinced that something that looks good on the fitting room monitor will look as good on my computer at home.


Michael Holland

I don't trust any retailer that would undermine its mannequins like that.


Billy Sickler

Study: Humans Now Have Shorter Attention Spans Than Goldfish

According to a small study conducted by the Microsoft Corporation, the average human attention span is now down to eight seconds, or one second shorter than that of a goldfish, which the researchers blame on an increased reliance on technology. What do you think?

You can't expect humans to measure up to goldfish in every respect.


Phyllis Forsythe

That doesn't really seem like a fair comparison given that our species use technology in completely different ways.


Dave Sorrells

Great, thanks for ruining my next eight seconds or so.


Rich Perkins

ACLU Requests Investigation Into Hollywood Sexism

Citing the fact that only 2 percent of top-grossing films last year had female directors, the ACLU has demanded a formal inquiry by state and federal investigators into the hiring practices at Hollywood studios, networks, and talent agencies. What do you think?

Well, sure, you can find gender discrimination anywhere if you measure it.


Steve Lamay

How can you call Hollywood sexist when they give the Best Actress Oscar to a woman every year?


Sandra Holcomb

I don't care if it's a man, woman, or beast at the helm, there needs to be a remake of 'Street Fighter.'


Darryl Seiber

Report: Millennials Leaving Christian Faith In Droves

According to a new report by the Pew Research Center, the population of Americans who identify as Christian has dropped significantly over the past eight years, in part because one-third of millennials now say they are unaffiliated with any faith. What do you think?

I thought I felt the forces of darkness growing stronger lately.


Eva Steward

Yeah, but as soon as the church is obscure and hip again they'll come rushing back.


Matthew Land

Chicago Taco Bell Could Be First In Nation To Serve Alcohol

A Taco Bell in the Wicker Park neighborhood of Chicago has applied for a liquor license, which if granted would mark the first Taco Bell location in the country to serve alcohol. What do you think?

I'm not sure this can compete with the convenience of drinking in the Taco Bell parking lot.


Sylvia Tavera

I hope they post recommended pairings for the Quesarito.


John Rinaldi

I'll never understand how that restaurant always knows exactly what I want.


Marcus Ortiz

Scientists: Flies May Have Capacity For Fear

According to new research from Caltech, fruit flies are capable of entering a fear-like state when they see a shadow from a fly swatter, suggesting that small insects might contain the building blocks for emotion, though it's unclear whether they experience emotions the way humans do. What do you think?

Good. If they can learn fear, they can be taught respect.


Antonio Belmonte

No one who's ever locked eyes with a fly in its last moments needs a study to tell them that.


Rob Ellington

Study: Most Parents Of Obese Children Think Kids Are 'Just Right'

According to a new study, most parents of obese children don't recognize their own child as obese because they measure him or her to peers rather than medical standards and estimate that the child is about the right weight even if they are significantly overweight. What do you think?

I'm more interested in what was said by the rest of the parents of obese children.


Elizabeth Coffey

These parents have it all wrong. They're supposed to unfavorably compare their kids to peers.


Josh Dietz

Children need to be taught that all bodies are wrong, regardless of size.


Amy Barrett

FAO Schwarz Closing Flagship Store Due To Rising Rent

Due to the rising costs of Manhattan real estate, high-end toy store FAO Schwarz will close its iconic Fifth Avenue flagship location and look to open another store elsewhere in the city. What do you think?

It truly is the end of an era of a location of a store.


Ricky Fife

But that store was such a magical place to browse toys for a couple hours before ordering them cheaper off Amazon.


Dominic Pearson

Will no one intervene on behalf of our beleaguered corporations?


Brian Woodruff

Report: Cannes Bans Women Not Wearing High Heels

According to reports from some publications covering the Cannes Film Festival, a number of women who were wearing flats instead of high heels were turned away from the red carpet for a high-profile screening unless they changed shoes, and actor Josh Brolin allegedly responded that he would walk the red carpet in high heels to protest the policy. What do you think?

I can't count the movies that have been ruined for me by some broad wearing flats right in the front row.


Debra Toothman

If this was just an elaborate plot to get Josh Brolin walking the red carpet in heels, it was worth it.


Lauren Kinney

I'm so sick of these beautiful women not doing everything they can to look their best.


Bert Rowe

Study: Kids Perform Better When Schools Ban Cell Phones

According to a new study from the London School of Economics, kids attending schools that ban cell phones during the day scored 6 percent better on tests than peers at schools that let kids have phones with them. What do you think?

Don't make my child choose between a quality education and top-tier content.


Ken Schmidt

If I'm going to spend that much money on my kid's iPhone 6, I expect him to flaunt it.


Jennifer Vargas

Good luck. The last time I tried to take away my daughter's cell phone, she bit me deep.


Devin Tate

Los Angeles Approves $15 Minimum Wage

The Los Angeles City Council has voted to raise the minimum wage to $15 per hour by 2020, making it the biggest city in the nation to do so in an effort to improve the lives of the poorest Americans. What do you think?

I'm not sure I can cope with the pressure to do $15 worth of work in an hour.


Paula Bailey

Los Angeles Approves $15 Minimum Wage

Hiking the minimum wage will destroy American business, just like it did in 1945, 1950, 1956, 1961, 1963, and 1968.


Patrick Moore

Los Angeles Approves $15 Minimum Wage

Fine, but I'm still going to treat people making minimum wage like crap.


Hazel Barber

Declassified Documents Reveal Bin Laden's Al-Qaeda Job Application

The Office of the Director of National Intelligence this week declassified hundreds of documents collected during the 2011 raid of Osama bin Laden's Pakistan compound, including his original job application for al-Qaeda, which, along with requesting regular contact information, asked applicants whether they would be willing to be suicide bombers and who to contact in case of martyrdom. What do you think?

I would have thought the martyrdom question more appropriate for a second interview.


Randy Schneider

Where did he put his previous experience? What font did he use? I'm looking for all the job-hunting tips I can find.


Tommy Melendez

Say what you will about bin Laden, but it sounds like he really knew how to keep important paperwork organized.


David Truax

Starbucks Partners With Spotify To 'Make The Barista The DJ'

Starbucks announced that it has made a special partnership with Spotify that gives Spotify subscriptions to all baristas around the country so they can curate the playlists that play in local stores, explaining, We're making the barista the DJ. What do you think?

But the whole reason I go to Starbucks is to ensure that every aspect of my coffee-buying experience has been thoroughly vetted by corporate executives.


Stephanie Graham

I'm glad the baristas will be gaining the valuable life skill of trying to please everyone at once.


Dan Beshears

Middle School Teacher Arrested For Allowing Students To Have Sex In Classroom

A middle school teacher in Georgia has been arrested for allegedly allowing students to schedule times to have sex in the storage closet of the classroom, informing them when it would be free to use and providing condoms in some cases. What do you think?

I respect any teacher who is willing to pay for materials out of pocket.


Jess Doherty

The only people who should be having sex in a middle school classroom are consenting adults.


Erik Kennedy

Airplane Rains Down Human Waste On Teen's Sweet 16 Party

A teenager from Levittown, PA celebrating her Sweet 16 party outdoors this week had her event ruined when a plane flying overhead emptied its human waste containers into the sky and feces rained down on the guests. What do you think?


Dorothy Chun

Well, what are Sweet 16 parties for if not learning the hideous and random injustice of the cosmos?


Adam Domenech

This really takes the sting out of not being invited.


Darrell Lasley

Study: Skipping Meals May Lead To Belly Fat

Contradicting the belief that skipping meals can lead to a slimmer waist, a new study has found that opting out of meals may actually lead to more belly fat because it confuses the body's metabolic processes and leads it to produce extra glucose that is stored as fat. What do you think?


Tina Rivera

Also, if you don't get a new plate once every two hours, they'll make you pay for another buffet.


Glenn Eades

PacSun Receives Backlash For Selling Inverted American Flag T-Shirt On Memorial Day

Clothing retailer PacSun received backlash over Memorial Day weekend after selling a T-shirt featuring a black-and-white image of an upside-down American flag, which angered veterans and shoppers who found it disrespectful. What do you think?

The role of T-shirts has always been to push society's boundaries.


John Bickerstaff

Horrible. The American flag is only supposed to appear right-side up on someone's disgusting, sweaty tank top.


Lindsey Gunn

Aéropostale would never disrespect our veterans like this.


Kathy Matson

Report: George W. Bush Offered To Officiate Gay Wedding In 2013

A recent article in the Boston Globe on Jeb Bush's new cottage in Maine revealed that his brother George W. Bush offered to officiate the wedding of two lesbian friends in 2013 but had to back out because of a scheduling conflict. What do you think?

Look who's trying to worm his way back onto the right side of history.


Elia Rush

Who wouldn't want to have their wedding officiated by the man who helped set back their special day by a decade?


Tom Dunmire

Another potential victory for marriage equality lost to a double-booking.


Joyce Atkinson

IRS: Hackers Stole Info From 100,000 Taxpayers

The Internal Revenue Service admitted Tuesday that an army of hackers used the personal data of 100,000 taxpayers to break into an IRS online service and steal their tax returns and other information, which the IRS has promised to rectify in part by providing credit monitoring. What do you think?

I hope they have better luck with my identity than I did.


Joseph Serrato

That's kind of them to offer, but I've already got free credit monitoring from the Target and Chase Bank data breaches.


Brian Stubblefield

Good luck. They can't damage my credit rating any more than I already have.


Dennis McHugh

Tech Industry Employees Drinking Liquid Meals To Work Longer Hours

According to a report in The New York Times, coders, engineers, and other tech industry employees who work long hours are opting to replace meals with liquid food products to avoid wasting time eating on the job. What do you think?

I never realized the kind of sacrifice that goes into my Bubble Witch Saga updates.


Ruby Jackson

Smart move by these employees to harness the dynamic productivity techniques long used by the comatose.


Jason Morton

No longer will a brief pause to stay alive get in the way of my work.


Michael Frazer

Survey: 1 In 4 Harvard Seniors Didn't Have Sex During College

According to a survey conducted by The Harvard Crimson to which half the class responded, one in four graduating seniors stated that they didn't have sex while at Harvard, though many said they had sex before attending the school. What do you think?

There's more to college than fulfilling basic human needs.


Francisca Davis

I'm glad these future world leaders will be full of pent-up sexual frustration.


Michael Loaiza

Yeah, but what percentage didn't make love?