Geoff Rogan

Ground Zero Mosque' Developer Now Proposing Luxury Condos

After purchasing a Ground Zero–adjacent lot in 2009 with plans to build an Islamic cultural center, developer Sharif El-Gamal was met with such outrage that he abandoned the project in 2011 and revealed a proposal this week to instead build luxury condos at the site. What do you think?


Lance Drudge

If the Ground Zero Mosque never got built, why am I still so angry about it?


Summer O'Leary

Finally, a gathering place inaccessible to people of all religions.


Marie Goodwell

Liquid Water Found On Mars

NASA revealed Monday that they have found evidence of liquid water on the surface of Mars trapped in salt molecules called perchlorates, pointing to the possibility of life on the red planet more definitively than ever before. What do you think?


Josh Kirkland

Liquid Water Found On Mars

It was neat at first, but NASA's continued interest in this planet has got me worried.


Bernie Feldt

Liquid Water Found On Mars

Curiosity must be pretty embarrassed that it missed this one.


Teddy Brinkman

PETA Seeks Copyright For Primate

A lawsuit filed by PETA last week claims that a series of now-famous monkey selfies snapped by a macaque who stole a photographer's camera should be considered the legal property of the macaque himself, with the proceeds from the copyright going entirely to primate conservation efforts. What do you think?

This is why you always get the macaque to sign a release.


Wally Johnson

PETA Seeks Copyright For Primate

Just try looking in Naruto's big brown eyes and telling him he doesn't deserve residuals.


Elaine Gilbert

PETA Seeks Copyright For Primate

That's ridiculous. Do you have any idea how long it takes to teach a monkey to set up an LLC?


Clyde Thomas

Falling TVs Pose Growing Risk To Children

Researchers analyzing data from 29 countries have found that in the age of large flat-screen TVs, more children are being injured by unstable television sets toppling onto them, with doctors recommending that flat-screens be securely mounted to the wall as a preventative measure. What do you think?

The only way I want television destroying my kids is mentally.


Bruce Gralen

It's nice to hear about TV being bad for kids in a way that I'm remotely likely to do something about.


Marilyn Jeffs

Luckily, replacing a broken TV is more affordable than ever.


Hugh Ramsey

Whole Foods Lays Off 1,500 Employees

In an effort to reduce overhead, respond to competition, and lower prices, Whole Foods has announced they will lay off 1,500 workers and find other ways to cut costs, such as transitioning to a more self-service model and launching a new economy chain of stores called 365. What do you think?

If there's one thing you can always skimp on, it's people.


Amos Moore

Whole Foods Lays Off 1,500 Employees

Who will help me restrain myself at the hot bar now?


Tiffani Bowles

Whole Foods Lays Off 1,500 Employees

I'm glad Whole Foods isn't losing sight of the low prices that attracted us to their stores in the first place.


Wayne Lammie

New App Aims To Be The 'Yelp Of People'

A forthcoming app called Peeple will let users post public reviews of their friends, neighbors, coworkers, and romantic partners without the permission of the person being evaluated, though the app will hold reviewers accountable by requiring them to post under their real names. What do you think?

Finally, we can start treating people more like restaurants.


Brennan Walls

New App Aims To Be The 'Yelp Of People'

It sounds like a fine idea, but can it really replace the lists I keep at home?


Cecilia Barton

New App Aims To Be The 'Yelp Of People'

I have a ton of close friends and family, so it'll be pretty helpful to discover which ones I've been wrong to love.


Christine Lipsitz

World Could Face 2016 Coffee Shortage

Due to a combination of rising demand for the beverage among developed countries and the negative impact drought has had on growing coffee beans in Brazil, experts warn that a global coffee shortage is a distinct possibility heading into 2016. What do you think?

Nothing a little more deforestation can't solve.


Larry Zedden

World Could Face 2016 Coffee Shortage

I guess I'll have to do my part by finding a new vehicle for milk foam, sugar, and chocolate shavings.


Calvin Dorman

World Could Face 2016 Coffee Shortage

If we don't do something to prevent this crisis right now, we'll be way too sleepy to do anything about it later.


Griffin Price

Bernie Sanders Fundraising On Pace With Clinton's

Though Hillary Clinton's campaign has set fundraising records, new data shows that Bernie Sanders is narrowing the gap between them, with his $26 million in the third quarter nearly matching her $28 million, a success rate attributable in part to accelerated small donations from independent supporters. What do you think?

Yeah, but now he's just beholden to ordinary Americans.


Roslyn Jacobs

If we all work together, we might just achieve what half of one Koch brother can.


Stuart Geffen

I don't think I can support a candidate unless I have a clear idea of the corporate agendas they're advancing.


Gerald Deming

Mealworms Can Break Down Styrofoam Waste

Scientists have found that the gut of the common mealworm contains a bacteria that can convert non-biodegradable Styrofoam into organic waste, a potentially crucial breakthrough in combating growing landfills and pollution worldwide. What do you think?

Is anyone working on a worm that eats busted coaxial cables?


Mackenzie Fuller

Good. Some other species can shoulder the burden of helping the environment for a while.


Ron Stevens

You mean after all the energy and resources it took to produce and distribute the Styrofoam, they're going to destroy it just like that?


Angie Millard

Scientists Engineer $1,600 Designer 'Micropigs'

Scientists in Shenzhen who bred small pigs for disease testing are now preparing to sell the designer micropigs to consumers for $1,600 each, explaining that the animals will only grow to 30 pounds and that no adverse effects have been detected in this gene-editing process. What do you think?

You've got to be kidding me. How am I supposed to fit a 30-pound pig in my purse?


Hal Hamlin

One of modern science's greatest failings is its inability to engineer an affordable micromammal.


Bernie Park

I think I have enough slop for a 30-pounder.


Tommy Brandis

Top FIFA Sponsors Call For Blatter Resignation

Though FIFA president Sepp Blatter announced in May amid corruption charges that he will resign in February 2016, FIFA's top sponsors—Coca-Cola, Budweiser, Visa, and McDonald's—have released statements calling for his immediate resignation, though Blatter has refused to step down. What do you think?

Sepp's just calling their bluff. If they don't continue to sponsor the World Cup no one will know about their brands.


Hugh Larkin

Well, it probably takes at least a few months to fully corrupt your successor.


Emma Lipman

FIFA must uphold their standard of acting in corporate sponsors' best interests.


Corinne Hesse

American Apparel Files For Bankruptcy

Following a string of controversies including former CEO Dov Charney's alleged sexual harassment of employees and the public's negative reaction to ads that sexualized young women, clothing giant American Apparel has filed for bankruptcy but will continue to operate their stores and attempt to reduce their $135 million debt. What do you think?

That'll teach companies to make their products within our borders!


Douglas Rice

American Apparel Files For Bankruptcy

Did they first try running a couple ads that don't make everyone viscerally uncomfortable?


Jonah Shaw

American Apparel Files For Bankruptcy

I can't think of a better way to relate to millennials than being broke.


Ron Kelly

Chernobyl Site Now Safe Haven For Wildlife

Despite the 1986 Chernobyl disaster that displaced 120,000 people and rendered the surrounding area uninhabitable due to radiation, scientists have found that several mammal species within the exclusion zone are currently thriving, suggesting that wildlife was less harmed by this nuclear disaster than they are by everyday human encroachment. What do you think?

Soon we'll be able to stop thinking of Chernobyl as a cautionary tale altogether.


Oliver Baxter

We'll figure out some way to screw up the utopia created by one of our biggest screwups.


Willa Koenig

Let's hope the Audubon Society doesn't stumble upon this strategy of forming wildlife preserves.


Miranda Lovell

New Dietary Guidelines Met With Contention

The latest U.S. Dietary Guidelines have been released in a 570-page report recommending a diet high in fruits, vegetables, legumes, and seafood but low in red meat and sugars, suggestions that have angered various food lobbies who claim the guidelines are dictated by outdated science. What do you think?

We have to stop paying attention to the kind of outdated research conducted in independent laboratories by dispassionate scientists.


Gary Dodd

Hopefully they get this all sorted out soon. I'm concerned I might not be getting enough servings of buffalo chicken.


Michael Deam

This is why they should have just let Nabisco write the guidelines in the first place.


Elaine Nathan

NASA To Award Best Uses Of Martian Rock

NASA has announced an open call for civilians to submit their ideas on how to turn Mars' abundance of basalt rock into building material, fuel, or other tools astronauts can use throughout their stay on the planet so as to lower the cost of launching supplies from Earth, a contest that will award $10,000 to the best proposal. What do you think?

It's bold of NASA to offer their budget as prize money.


Randall Delaney

NASA To Award Best Uses Of Martian Rock

If there's one challenge humanity has proven surmountable, it's finding new ways to exploit resources.


Kurt Tuttle

NASA To Award Best Uses Of Martian Rock


Jacqueline Ramsay

6,000 Inmates Granted Early Release

Between October 30 and November 2, the Federal Bureau of Prisons will release 6,000 nonviolent drug offenders as part of an effort to overhaul the overcrowded prison system and reform sentencing policies, with an additional 8,550 inmates eligible for release in the coming year. What do you think?

Back into the warm, open arms of society they go.


Scott Kassel

6,000 Inmates Granted Early Release

Great, now our streets will be flooded with the chaos of nonviolent one-time offenders.


Tripp Sherwood

6,000 Inmates Granted Early Release

If we start releasing these criminals, then who's next? The wrongfully convicted?


Colby Anderson

NYT Aims To Double Revenue By 2020

The New York Times has assured investors that despite downward trends in the print media industry, they intend to double revenue by 2020, aiming to corner the digital subscriber market and draw in a younger contingent of readers. What do you think?

Sounds like we're in for more stories on cannabis.


Ian Stickney

NYT Aims To Double Revenue By 2020

Well, if they don't reach their goal, it sure as hell won't be Maureen Dowd's fault.


Gabrielle Taylor

NYT Aims To Double Revenue By 2020


Stella Martinson

Nobel Peace Prize Awarded To Tunisian Group

The Nobel Committee has awarded its annual Peace Prize to the National Dialogue Quartet, a collection of Tunisian civil society groups that have worked together since the 2011 Arab Spring uprising to foster democracy in the region and prevent dictatorships from regaining control. What do you think?

This is a nice departure from the committee's usual selection of lone peace-seeking egotists.


Samuel Ricciardi

Good for them! They were always one of my favorite dialogue quartets.


Greg Coombs

Lucky for them there wasn't much competition this year.


Jim Wrightwood

California Bans 'Redskins' But Keeps Confederate Names

California governor Jerry Brown has signed a bill banning use of the name Redskins for all sports teams throughout the state but has decided to veto a proposed ban on naming public buildings after Confederate heroes, a choice that Brown said should be left to local decision-makers. What do you think?

Strong Confederate pride is just part of being a Californian.


Reggie Wagner

He's right. Deciding whether or not to honor centuries of oppression has always felt like more of a case-by-case thing.


Bianca Patterson

Guess we'll be renaming our Little League team the Jerry Browns!


Clayton Hince

Harry Potter Fans Advised To Stay Off Railroad Tracks

The British Transport Police are warning tourists and sightseers to stay off the active railroad tracks that run atop the scenic Glenfinnan viaduct, featured in Harry Potter as the route taken by the Hogwarts Express, after many visitors have put themselves in danger attempting to photograph them. What do you think?

The greatest danger we face is losing our sense of wonder.


Butch Garvey

That's like asking a 'Lord of the Rings' fan not to stab fauna in New Zealand.


Alice Boswell

My kids are going to be thrilled when they find out you can visit those tracks in real life.


Paul Furrow

Apple Blocks News App In China

According to the New York Times, the iPhone's news app appears to have barred all users in China from accessing it, a sweeping move that Apple possibly undertook to avoid a patchwork of censorship wherein particular articles deemed unacceptable by the Chinese government would be blocked. What do you think?

Understandable. It's hard not to fold under the pressure of something the Chinese government might eventually do.


Darryl Tompkins

Apple Blocks News App In China

Apple is boldly rethinking the way we do state censorship.


Josie Howe

Apple Blocks News App In China

It's a shame all those users will never know about this big win for their country.


Hank Walcott

Playboy' To Stop Printing Nude Photos

Playboy magazine has announced that future issues will no longer run photos of fully nude women, instead focusing on a modern editorial and design approach that executives hope will appeal to a wider audience and serve as an alternative to internet pornography. What do you think?

That's crazy. You can't just stop objectifying people overnight.


Cecile Duridge

Playboy' To Stop Printing Nude Photos

But now how will young actresses symbolically announce that they're ready to transition to more adult film roles?


Justin Dodd

Playboy' To Stop Printing Nude Photos

This wouldn't be such a problem if I still had the ability to imagine naked women.


Colin Keuhle

Gastric Bypass Patients At Higher Risk Of Self-Harm

According to a new study, those who undergo radical weight-loss surgery are significantly more likely to attempt suicide after their procedure, leading many to emphasize obesity's relation to depression and advocate for mandatory post-surgery counseling. What do you think?

Then how come they always look happier in the 'after' pictures?


Tricia Stephens

Maybe instead of requiring counseling, the surgeons can just go ahead and extract the underlying mental health issues while they're in there.


George Lann

More bad news for those of us hoping to find a quick fix in major invasive surgery.


Kirk Langell

Jennifer Lawrence Decries Hollywood Wage Gap

Actress Jennifer Lawrence has published a frank editorial in the newsletter Lenny about receiving lower compensation than her male co-stars in American Hustle, explaining that women in Hollywood are discouraged from fighting for equal pay in part because it threatens to make them less likable. What do you think?

The fact is that very few performers have the universal box-office appeal of Jeremy Renner.


Dwight Easley

How was Lionsgate supposed to keep churning out Hunger Games sequels if they didn't motivate her to earn more?


Therese Steffans

At 25, it's far too late for Jennifer Lawrence to better her situation, but the next generation of actresses can still benefit from her brave efforts.


Wilbur Marsh

43 Shootings Committed By U.S. Toddlers This Year

The Washington Post reports that so far in 2015, there have been 43 cases in which U.S. children under age 3 have killed or wounded themselves or others by firing a gun, with journalists suggesting these figures could actually be an undercount due to cases that go unreported. What do you think?


Johnny Heister

Dozens of accidental deaths are just the price we pay for the freedom to shoot and kill people on purpose.


Kimberly Golob

Yeah, kids can be a handful at that age.


Gordy Boylan

Surgical Gloves, Gowns Pose Risk To Medical Workers

A series of simulations have shown that even when hospital workers follow protocols for gown and glove removal, harmful bacteria often transfers to their clothes or skin underneath and puts them at risk for infection, with researchers proposing solutions like redesigned garments that can be more easily removed or bleaching the garments to kill germs before removal. What do you think?

Look, we can't keep relying on bleach to get us out of every jam.


Russell Ward

Seems like that's exactly the sort of risk the Hippocratic Oath sets you up for.


Marion Beecher

This is also a great opportunity to finally make those garments more flattering.


Grace Baumgartner

New Study Questions Health Risks Of Prolonged Sitting

Though numerous studies have cited the risk of early death in those who sit for prolonged periods at home or work, a new British study contests these claims, emphasizing that physical activity minimizes health risks much more than other options such as standing desks. What do you think?


Harry Cramer

I always knew my untimely death would be the result of something I was actively doing.


Ted Bradley

Damn. Do you think it's too late to get all my chairs back?


Alexander Morgan

Obama: Troops To Stay In Afghanistan Past 2016

Though he originally pledged to remove all U.S. troops from Afghanistan by the end of 2016, Obama announced this week that 5,500 ground troops would remain through the end of his presidency and beyond, likely in an attempt to prevent the resurgence of Taliban forces or the rise of ISIS. What do you think?

Why prolong existing wars when there are plenty of new ones to try?


Tori Millsap

It's just good form for an outgoing president to impart a bit of Afghan war to his successor.


Larry Whiteway

This is why world leaders really shouldn't go around pledging things.


Noel Shaw

More Americans Coming Out On Facebook

According to a statement released by Facebook, nearly three times as many people have listed themselves as homosexual or bisexual on the social network this year than in 2014, and the number of people who liked LGBT pages rose 25 percent in the past year. What do you think?

While encouraging, these findings don't begin to solve the problem of Facebook's continued enormous success.


Rob Pascale

More Americans Coming Out On Facebook

I hope the brave men and women who have come out on social media are enjoying a life of better targeted ads.


Shelby Weir

More Americans Coming Out On Facebook

It was just easier than sitting down with each of my 558 Facebook friends individually.


Brett Leyden

Carson, Trump Threaten To Boycott GOP Debate

In an open letter to CNBC, host of the Oct. 28 Republican presidential debate, frontrunners Donald Trump and Ben Carson stated they would not attend the event unless it were a maximum of 120 minutes long and allowed each candidate opening and closing statements, demands to which CNBC has capitulated. What do you think?

But 120 minutes doesn't seem like nearly enough time to list off all the ways immigrants are ruining the country.


Joel Watley

Stalling the political process is the best way for these outsiders to prove they're ready for Washington.


Chrissy Borns

I'll admit a three-hour debate was a bit much, but if Trump really wants to be president he has to get comfortable being in the spotlight.


Chuck Dormer

Survey: More People Fear Technology Than Death

According to a survey that asked 1,500 U.S. adults to rank 88 different fears on a four-point scale, technology ranks second only to the fear of natural disasters, with both of these far outranking the fear of death. What do you think?

If anything, I'm worried that technology will extend my life.


Sheldon Moore

They could have invited me to partake. My every waking moment is plagued by fear of the great beyond.


Phoebe Seville

This nation's clown phobia was feeling pretty antiquated.


Scott Loomis

Oscar Pistorius Released From Prison

After completing one year of his five-year sentence for the manslaughter of girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp, Oscar Pistorius has been released from jail to serve the remainder of his sentence under house arrest at his uncle's mansion. What do you think?

Good. Jail is no place for someone who seems slightly sorry for their crimes.


Darcey Kline

Oscar Pistorius Released From Prison

Hopefully with four years of house arrest ahead of him, he'll find time to work on his lucrative memoirs.


Jason Hargrave

Oscar Pistorius Released From Prison

One thing's for sure: he'll never kill Reeva Steenkamp again.


Julie Distefano

Oprah Winfrey Buys Stake In Weight Watchers

Despite the company's lagging membership in recent years, shares of Weight Watchers stock are up 117 percent since Oprah Winfrey announced in a statement this week that she has purchased a stake in the company. What do you think?

Good for her. It takes a lot self-control to purchase such a small portion of the company.


Carson Hund

If this means I get to eat frozen dinners with Oprah's face on the box, I'm all for it!


Leo Howell

I haven't trusted her endorsements since she told me to read 'Anna Karenina.'


Marvin Battle

Pediatricians Warn Pregnant Women Not To Drink

Though recent studies have claimed that occasional alcohol consumption causes no harm to a developing fetus, the American Academy of Pediatrics has once again urged pregnant women to abstain, warning that no amount of alcohol should be considered safe to drink during any trimester of pregnancy. What do you think?

No roller coasters, no alcohol—how on earth is a pregnant woman supposed to blow off steam?


Cynthia Craft

But sharing that first drink with your unborn child is one of motherhood's most beautiful moments.


Henry Sherrard

This sets a dangerous precedent for how much women are expected to sacrifice for their children.


Blaine Miller

Biden Will Not Run For President

Joe Biden announced yesterday that he will not be running for president in 2016, emphasizing that he nevertheless intends to speak out clearly and forcefully to influence…where we stand as a party and where we need to go as a nation. What do you think?

A statement like that could cost Biden the nomination.


Elizabeth Heinen

Biden Will Not Run For President

A true patriot stays out of the race they're all but guaranteed to lose.


Ricky Best

Biden Will Not Run For President

This is nothing but a blatant rip-off of Jim Webb's idea.


Art Mulcahy

Subway To Begin Measuring Foot-Long Sandwiches

A class-action lawsuit on behalf of Subway customers has concluded with a promise that Subway will now require all employees to measure the bread for their footlongs and ensure each sandwich is a full 12 inches. What do you think?

Someone had better hurry up and replace the sandwich they're using at the Bureau of Weights and Measures.


Christopher Flaeger

If I'm going to eat twice as much as my body needs, I'd better get exactly twice as much as my body needs.


Joelle Nussen

Doctors Failing To Recommend HPV Vaccine

Though the CDC recommends all children age 11-12 receive the HPV vaccine, researchers have found that up to 27 percent of doctors do not actively recommend it to adolescent patients, a trend that could indicate general discomfort discussing sexual matters with younger patients. What do you think?

I'm worried we're spoiling the next generation with all these immunities.


Calvin Hempel

Just because they're doctors doesn't mean they're not horrified by the human body like the rest of us.


Royce McCreevy

Once again, it's up to me to discuss the particulars of sex with these young people.


Dora Carlson

Sunscreen Harming Coral Reefs Worldwide

The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration has found that the global die-off of coral reefs is partially due to a toxic chemical in sunscreen, leading the National Park Service to recommend wearing only reef-friendly varieties while swimming in the ocean. What do you think?

Clearly the NOAA forgets how much worse it used to be before sunscreen, when waterways were choked by stray pashminas and panama hats.


Hugh McKevitt

Sunscreen Harming Coral Reefs Worldwide


Clark Tomason

Sunscreen Harming Coral Reefs Worldwide

Look, I get that this is a problem, but I can't be expected to rearrange my entire life so that it's reef-friendly.


Kyle Wickman

FCC Lowers Cost Of Prison Calls

The Federal Communications Commission is taking steps to reduce the cost of phone calls to inmates in prison, which currently run as high as $14 a minute but will soon cost a maximum of $1.65 for a 15-minute call, a move that reform groups say will keep families better connected with their loved ones in jail. What do you think?

It's taking more and more ingenuity to profit off prisoners these days.


Lucy Crawford

FCC Lowers Cost Of Prison Calls

If they don't like the excessive fees, they should've thought twice about getting caught in the prison industrial complex.


Marty Pintone

FCC Lowers Cost Of Prison Calls

Yeah, but who even uses land lines anymore?


Aaron Weibler

Florida Ends Bear Hunting Season After 2 Days

Florida officials have announced the end of the 2015 bear hunting season, a hotly debated event that was initiated to curb Florida's growing black bear population but lasted only two days before the official limit of 320 harvested bears was reached and regional quotas were surpassed. What do you think?

And with a little more effort next year, there's no reason they can't get that down to one day.


Jackie Parr

Hopefully they gave the unsuccessful hunters a consolation prize to kill.


Anthony Trumbull

I'm still going to keep this thing lashed to the hood of my car for a few more days.


Chester Walsh

Experts: Bacon, Hot Dogs Can Cause Cancer

According to the World Health Organization, there is sufficient evidence to link processed red meats to the development of colorectal cancer, which means foods such as hot dogs and bacon will be added to the WHO's list of known carcinogens. What do you think?

Like I always say, you gotta die prematurely of something.


Marion Miller

I cut asbestos out of my diet, but this is too much.


Randy Ortega

That's okay. I was only ever a social hot dog eater anyway.


Grace Unger

Domino's Unveils Delivery Car With Built-In Oven

Domino's has announced the upcoming rollout of its DXP or Delivery ExPert vehicle, a modified Chevy Spark that can hold up to 80 pizzas per trip in special stabilized compartments and keep them warm in an on-board oven until delivery. What do you think?

This should prove to be a new and interesting place to find a body in the first act of police procedurals.


Brian Tilley

It's a nice idea, but I worry it'll show up too hot to shovel into my mouth.


Walt Dunson

And what exactly is protecting my pizza between the car and my front door?


Dirk Hitchens

New Harry Potter Play In The Works

Author J.K. Rowling has announced that the eighth installment of the Harry Potter series will be a two-part stage play called Harry Potter And The Cursed Child, written in collaboration with playwright Jack Thorne and set to open at London's Palace Theatre next July. What do you think?

I'm always excited for Harry Potter stories I don't have to read!


Doreen Wibley

New Harry Potter Play In The Works

Sometimes 4,224 pages, 19 hours of film, and a 20-acre theme park just aren't enough to fully explore an idea.


Craig Strupp

New Harry Potter Play In The Works


Duncan Dellefield

Study: Monkeys' Roars Mean Lower Fertility

Though howler monkeys are one of the loudest primates on earth, with throat sacs that help them emit deep, booming roars to attract females, scientists have noted that the most sonorous calls actually come from the males with the smallest testes, which consequently produce less sperm for their potential mates. What do you think?

I'm going to take this as tacit approval of my sports car purchase.


Lacey Strong

We're fortunate as humans to have so many more superficial factors by which to judge our potential mates.


Frank Torrell

Oh good. Now I can stop trying to guess which howler monkeys at the zoo have the lowest sperm count.


Buck Roland

China Ends One-Child Policy

Chinese officials have announced the end of a 35-year policy limiting families to one child and will now allow two children per family, a response to mounting concerns about the aging workforce and its vast economic repercussions such as labor shortages and health care costs. What do you think?

All those extra lungs should really help filter China's air.


Jim Hannah

China Ends One-Child Policy

It'll be tough to eventually break it to those kids that they were only born to prevent a demographic collapse.


Amelia Gross

China Ends One-Child Policy

You always think a child will solve things.


Darren Mabrey

Hot Dogs Found To Contain Human DNA

Watchdog group Clear Food has tested 345 hot dog samples from 75 brands and found that up to 14 percent had ingredients that contradicted their labeling, such as vegetarian products that contained meat, and 2 percent of the hot dogs tested contained human DNA. What do you think?

I really thought cannibalism was the one crime I'd never end up committing.


Janice Blatt

Hot Dogs Found To Contain Human DNA

Oh, that's on me. Sometimes I touch the hot dogs at the store without buying any.


Terrance Little

Hot Dogs Found To Contain Human DNA

I've always assumed the labels on hot dogs were largely aspirational.


Gary Northrup

Paul Ryan Elected Speaker Of The House

In a landslide vote, Paul Ryan has been elected to succeed John Boehner as the next Speaker of the House of Representatives. What do you think?

I'm just pleased whenever a Wisconsin Republican isn't an enormous loser.


Dale Humphrey

Paul Ryan Elected Speaker Of The House

Let's hope there are enough government shutdowns to afford him some quality time with his family.


Selena Dubois

Paul Ryan Elected Speaker Of The House

There hasn't been a Speaker this hunky since Robert Charles Winthrop of the Whig Party!


Brooke LaValle

REI Will Close For Black Friday

Outdoor retailer REI announced this week that they will close their stores on the notoriously lucrative Black Friday, encouraging customers to get outside and spend the day with loved ones instead of shopping. What do you think?

It's so nice of REI to let their employees take off work to go shopping with their families.


Tony Avers

REI Will Close For Black Friday

But climbing over hordes of other shoppers on Black Friday is the most heart-pumping activity I do all year.


Walt Griggs

REI Will Close For Black Friday

Walmart would never ask me to go outside.


Cindy Tichler

Chipotle Closes 43 Locations After E. Coli Outbreak

Acting out of what they call an abundance of caution, Chipotle announced they are temporarily closing 43 locations in Washington and Oregon after an outbreak of E. coli has affected 20 people who recently ate Chipotle in the region. What do you think?

It's pathetic what qualifies as an outbreak these days.


Ronald Hayertz

You mean I'll be forced to make do with Qdoba, Del Taco, El Pollo Loco, and Moe's Southwest Grill?


Judd Hough

I'd better be entitled to extra meat when they reopen.


Moe Rettig

Study: Married People Heal Better After Heart Surgery

Scientists studying 1,500 heart surgery patients found that those who were divorced or widowed were 40 percent more likely to either die or continue needing help with everyday tasks long after their surgery, as opposed to married people, who returned to a state of independence more quickly. What do you think?

Plus they always have someone to play checkers with.


Kayla Morton

Does it have to be true love, or will any old sham marriage do?


Trent Wabicki

As a single person I fully understand I have nothing to live for, but I don't appreciate hearing it all the time.


Bianca Reyes

ISS Celebrates 15 Years Of Residency In Space

This week, the International Space Station marked 15 years of continuous human residency, during which the crew has expanded the ISS by 10 rooms, performed 1,760 experiments, and completed 189 space walks. What do you think?

It's amazing what humans can accomplish when sealed in a small space together with no possible escape.


Toby Lann

I'm impressed by their commitment to the hoax.


Rick Salgado

And what do we have to show for it besides numerous scientific advancements whose benefits I don't yet comprehend?


Gretchen Schultz

Tennessee Opens Animal Abuser Registry

A new bill passed in Tennessee established the first statewide public registry listing people who have been arrested for animal abuse within the past two years, with several other states considering the adoption of similar registries. What do you think?

Perfect! Now my family will know exactly who to terrorize when our dog goes missing.


Jonny Duda

Tennessee Opens Animal Abuser Registry

I've been looking for something new to read.


Nate Munsen

Tennessee Opens Animal Abuser Registry

This is just another example of big government forcing its way into the private lives of psychopaths.


Rosalyn Habian

Diamonds Might Not Be As Rare As Once Thought

According to new research, the process by which the earth creates diamonds might be more common than we thought, though many of the resultant gems are microscopic and immaterial to humans. What do you think?

Thanks for the worthless heirloom, Grandma.


Dominic Lemmons

Why do scientists insist on announcing these so-called important discoveries that we can't even immediately profit off of?


Tripp Jones

Now I feel like a sucker for executing such an elaborate heist.


Grace Deam

Cinemas Ban Masks, Prop Weapons At 'Star Wars' Release

Citing safety concerns, movie theater chain Cinemark is warning audiences ahead of the December 18 opening of Star Wars: Episode VII that they are not permitted to wear masks or face paint as part of any costume, nor can they carry prop weapons to screenings of the film. What do you think?

It's a slippery slope when the public feels entitled to their safety.


Denny Wimble

These precautions make sense. From a distance, it's impossible for police to tell the difference between a harmless prop and a deadly electrostaff.


Lorne Padera

Guess I'll only be dressed as Kylo Ren for 22 hours that day.


Lev Dickel

Houston Votes Against Antidiscrimination Ordinance

The Houston Equal Rights Ordinance, which establishes antidiscrimination protections for LGBT and other citizens, was rejected by voters 61 to 39 percent this week, due in part to the influence of conservative pastors who believe transgender people using public restrooms poses a danger to women, claims that proponents of the ordinance dismiss as fearmongering. What do you think?

It's an unfortunate truth that most bathroom safety advocates are single-issue voters.


Jane Luden

But think of all the good that these pastors theoretically do.


Rudy Belling

If gays wanted to win this vote, they should have recruited better.


Gregory Pirot

Vatican Scandals Detailed In Tell-All Books

Two books released this week by Italian journalists both detail alleged greed and excess within the highest ranks of the Vatican, including the rampant, unsupervised spending of church donations that allegedly angered Pope Francis, who strives for a more modest Catholic Church. What do you think?

It's going to take a pretty big scandal to get me to read two books.


Karl McNamara

What a shame. That money was supposed to fund pro-life rallies for the poor.


Janie Clowes

Hey, it's not like these cardinals and archbishops said they were role models.


Louis Otts

Adidas To Help Change Native American Mascots

After attending the White House Tribal Nations Conference, Adidas has offered to help 2,000 high schools change their Native American mascots by employing the Adidas design team to recreate their logos and uniforms. What do you think?

Good luck trying to create 2,000 new mascots without at least a few being racist.


Jaqueline Werner

I don't know. People make all sorts of promises when they're riding that post–Tribal Nations Conference high.


Spencer McGill

Whatever the Chiefs change their name to, the Tigers are still gonna claw 'em to death at regionals! Go Tigers!


Dean Retzer

Scientists Confirm Anti-Vaccine Sites Contain No Facts

A new study found that despite the prevalence of websites encouraging parents not to vaccinate their children, two-thirds of the sites presented false or disproven information as scientific evidence, while others misinterpreted the findings of peer-reviewed medical papers on the subject. What do you think?

How can something be incorrect if there's a lot of it?


Penne Legge

I'm not concerned one way or the other. The field of pediatrics has always been cyclical in nature.


Roy Faulk

Oh man, all those die-hard anti-vaxxers are going to be so embarrassed once they take a closer look at the facts.


Seth Richardson

Record Number Of Women Now NYC Firefighters

Following the training of four new female firefighters this week, the FDNY now has a record high number of women within its ranks, though these 49 women comprise only 0.5 percent of the department. What do you think?

I'll be damned if I'm going to let a bunch of ladies jeopardize my hunky wall calendar.


Becky Ladd

Four new female firefighters in one year is definitely worth celebrating, but that kind of growth is probably unsustainable.


Trey Woodley

Wow. Fighting fires must be easier than I thought.


Calvin Pickney

Starbucks Holiday Cups Angering Christians

After Starbucks debuted their iconic red cups for the holiday season, many Christians complained that this year's minimalist design features no holiday-specific imagery such as snowmen or sledding, leading one pastor to begin a viral prank of ordering at Starbucks under the name Merry Christmas to force baristas into writing a Christian message on the cup. What do you think?

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find an available cup designer around the holidays?


Isla Munch

Starbucks should have simply explained that the solid red color symbolizes the blood of our Lord.


Tristan Newman

But promotional packaging is an integral part of the Christmas message.


Logan Howe

SeaWorld To End Orca Shows In San Diego

SeaWorld Entertainment has announced they will retire all killer whale shows at their San Diego location, though the shows will continue in San Antonio and Orlando, with additional plans to build a new orca experience attraction in 2017. What do you think?

Great. Now I have to go all the way to Orlando to see widespread animal abuse.


Hannah DeGrange

SeaWorld To End Orca Shows In San Diego

This is exactly the kind of gradual, piecemeal change SeaWorld's critics have been demanding.


Joshua Comen

SeaWorld To End Orca Shows In San Diego

So long as SeaWorld keeps the splash zone wet, I'm there.


Brady Flynn

Baby Cured Of Leukemia By 'Designer' Cells

In what could be a major breakthrough in cancer research, a baby diagnosed with terminal leukemia has been entirely cleared of the disease by the experimental use of immune cells genetically engineered to target and attack cancer cells, a treatment that will begin clinical trials next year. What do you think?

This better not turn out to be just some random miracle.


Maura Lemmons

Let's hope that no fetal stem cells were used to save the life of this terminally ill baby.


Norm Jacoby

If this amazing treatment works as well as they say it does, it could potentially bankrupt millions of people.


Tricia O'Leary

Report: Russian Athletes Used PEDs For Years

Following a 10-month investigation, a report released by the World Anti-Doping Agency raises hundreds of allegations against Russian athletes, including the regular use of performance-enhancing drugs and coaches' attempts to destroy any positive drug tests, violations that the IOC must now take into account for the 2016 Olympic Games. What do you think?

You try competing against China's elite badminton team without juicing.


Cole Fallon

It's only fitting for today's Olympic Games to shift from a competition of strength to one of opportunism.


Gary Spitz

I'm just ecstatic for any reason to throw fuel on the old anti-Soviet fire.


Saul Petrik

Organ Transplants Might Favor Wealthier Patients

Researchers report that our organ transplant system might inadvertently favor wealthier patients who can put their names on waiting lists at multiple transplant centers nationwide, while those who can't afford such travel or who lack physicians on private insurance plans to advocate for them have longer wait times and are less likely to receive the needed organ. What do you think?

Sure, but can material things like not dying truly make them any happier?


Grace Adelson

A new kidney deserves to be shown the upscale lifestyle.


Rod Patterson

That's okay. We'll get the organs back when the revolution comes.


Reed Cullom

Mascot Hijinks Cost University $123,000

Arizona State University will cover the medical costs of a city councilman who was hospitalized for four days after ASU mascot Sparky the Sun Devil leapt onto his back and tore a muscle that was still healing from a recent back surgery. What do you think?

We demand nothing less than exuberance from our mascots, and yet we condemn them when they hospitalize someone?


Wendy Bohr

Mascot Hijinks Cost University $123,000

When you've got a devil for a mascot, you'd better keep your checkbook handy.


Geoff Richards

Mascot Hijinks Cost University $123,000


Abe Rutledge

Fraternity Sues 'Rolling Stone' For $25 Million

After multiple discrepancies were found in Rolling Stone's 2014 account of fraternity-involved rape on the University of Virginia campus, UVA's Phi Kappa Psi fraternity is filing a $25 million defamation lawsuit against the magazine, claiming the chapter's future has been jeopardized as a result of the article. What do you think?

Lighten up, guys. 'Rolling Stone' hazes everyone like that.


Carson Tovell

It's unfair how one falsified story in conjunction with decades of actual events can damage the reputation of fraternities.


Delia McCutcheon

This will teach the media to think twice before trusting rape victims.


Miles Hitchens

Darker Sense Of Humor Could Be Early Sign Of Dementia

A new study found that a common early symptom among dementia patients was an increasingly dark sense of humor that favored slapstick over satire and caused them to laugh at socially inappropriate times, findings that can aid in earlier and more accurate diagnoses. What do you think?

The time has come for me to break a bottle over my head and see where Mom's at.


Sharon Kling

You mean I can laugh at any reprehensible thing I want and garner pity while I'm at it?


Eddie Macklin

My aging father only likes racist jokes. I'm glad there isn't anything wrong with him.


Peggy Seewald

Report: 1 in 5 NYC Adults Suffers Mental Health Issues

In response to a new report that as many as one in five adult residents of New York City suffers from mental health issues, Mayor Bill de Blasio has unveiled a new initiative called NYC Thrive, allocating $386 million to the prevention and treatment of psychological disorders. What do you think?


Monte Ballew

I don't know. Can't we try a few more decades of stigmatizing them first?


Ralph Jensen

Just imagine how many rats could have been poisoned with that money.


Garth Johnson

Joe's Crab Shack Eliminates Tipping

Restaurant chain Joe's Crab Shack has been experimenting with a no-tipping policy at 18 of its locations with plans to gradually expand the policy nationwide, paying servers more per hour and raising menu prices by 12-15 percent, changes that could also help reduce labor costs. What do you think?

Well, there goes the only math I ever do.


Bailey Windon

Joe's Crab Shack Eliminates Tipping

But how else will I be able to cowardly express dissatisfaction with my dining experience?


Darryl Lynd

Joe's Crab Shack Eliminates Tipping

If they think they can stop me from tipping, they've got another thing coming.


Earl Seever

FDA Seeks Public Opinion On 'Natural' Foods

Citing a current lack of regulation surrounding the term, the FDA is seeking input on what the word natural should connote on food labels, encouraging the public to submit via online form their ideas on how to standardize its use on packaging. What do you think?

Nice try, FDA, but keeping me alive is your job.


Blake Carson

This is too much pressure. How about we just stick that label on bananas for now and see how that goes?


Patricia Rickhoff

Standards like these have the exciting potential to improve our diet until ConAgra successfully lobbies to relax them.


Victoria Brendan

Oxford Selects An Emoji As Word Of The Year

The Oxford English Dictionary's Word of the Year for 2015 is not in fact a word, but what they have dubbed the Face with Tears of Joy emoji, which accounts for 17 percent of all emojis sent in U.S. texts and whose use is steeply on the rise. What do you think?

Huh. I really thought written language had a few years left in it.


Tom Dinsley

This does a lot to challenge my notion of what the Oxford English Dictionary staff does all day.


Geoff Simm

Former Parishioners Protest Mormon LGBT Policy

Hundreds of members of the Mormon faith protested this week by submitting formal letters of resignation, renouncing the church's latest anti-LGBT policy that bans baptisms for children of same-sex couples. What do you think?

Thankfully my child has been begging for a Lutheran baptism.


Howie Pritchett

The new policy is ridiculous. Children of same-sex couples are still worth saving even if their blasphemous parents aren't.


Belinda Stockton

How could a faith invented less than two centuries ago have such an antiquated policy?


Archie Longeran

NASA Gives Robots To Universities To Aid Mars Mission

Research teams at MIT and Northeastern University have been given a prototype of NASA's Valkyrie humanoid robot, a machine designed to withstand the harsh conditions of space, to test how it might best be used in an upcoming mission to Mars. What do you think?

So now I can't even count on a career as an astronaut?


Louise Becker

Universities hardly have an incentive to build their own humanoid robots when the government is just handing them out like candy.


Aidan Reese

Once Valkyrie gets that first taste of Comparative Media Studies 100, Mars will be the last thing on its mind.


Mack Harkin

Urban Outfitters Buys Italian Restaurant Group

Retailer Urban Outfitters has purchased the Vetri restaurant group, a collection of eateries that includes award-winning pizzerias and upscale Italian food, possibly signaling the incorporation of sit-down dining into the Urban Outfitters shopping experience. What do you think?

Great. Eating food was my thing, now everybody's going to be doing it.


Gerry Polk

Look, sometimes you need a Bluetooth cassette adapter and some Gorgonzola gnocchi and you only want to make one stop.


Linda Bartlett

I could see Old Navy buying Carrabba's, but this is just odd.


Blaine Tichert

STDs On The Rise Nationwide

The CDC reports that cases of chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis are all steeply on the rise after a decade of steady decline, though they caution that the higher numbers could merely indicate the public's improved reporting of STDs. What do you think?

Why does the CDC always have to be so gross?


Casey Willard

STDs On The Rise Nationwide

People need to be more careful. They'll never get a second date if they keep blabbing about their diseases.


Eli Brickman

STDs On The Rise Nationwide

We are nothing if not a sensuous nation.


Hugo Brown

Barbie Ad Features Boy For First Time

In what is a first for Mattel, the latest Barbie commercial features a young boy playing with the doll, a decision that many have praised for its departure from the toy industry's traditional gender roles. What do you think?

It's about time they started showing more men on TV.


Leah Hamilton

Barbie Ad Features Boy For First Time

If things keep going this way, I worry that boys and girls are going to have a hard time fitting into their assigned gender roles as adults.


Griffin Pelk

Barbie Ad Features Boy For First Time

Over my dead body will my son ever play with dolls that promote unattainable body types.


Nick Toomey

Retailers Recycling Black Friday Deals

A financial blog analyzed this year's Black Friday sales and found that 11 percent of the deals at major U.S. retailers are identical to last year's offerings, with items listed at the same price and discounted at the same rate as in 2014. What do you think?

Observing traditions is what makes the holidays so special.


Jay Castellano

Retailers Recycling Black Friday Deals

Wow. I guess sometimes life really does give you a second chance.


Shirley Wilkins

Retailers Recycling Black Friday Deals


Maria Gunderson

Adele Blocks New Album From Streaming

Though her new album 25 is on track to shatter sales records nationwide, digital streaming services like Spotify and Apple Music will not have access to Adele's latest release, a marketing decision that Adele herself was reportedly instrumental in making. What do you think?

Nevertheless, sophisticated hackers might still be able to somehow obtain it from the dark web.


Cliff Hanson

Adele Blocks New Album From Streaming

I'll be fine. I'm getting pretty good at humming 'Hello.'


Raymond Gant

Adele Blocks New Album From Streaming

But that's not fair. All of us consumers agreed years ago never to pay musicians for their work again.


Bob Wolfram

WHO Criticized For Slow Response To Ebola Outbreak

A Harvard-led panel of medical experts analyzing the World Health Organization's response to the Ebola crisis concluded the WHO was too slow in declaring a public health emergency, findings they presented alongside 10 recommendations for proper handling of such outbreaks in the future. What do you think?

When thousands of people start bleeding out of their mouths and eyes, sometimes it's best to take a step back and see where it's all going.


Celia Clemens

It's just like those Harvard snobs to point out problems and come up with 10 reasonable suggestions for improvement.


Jim Topey

As long as we're pointing fingers, this panel was far too slow to condemn anybody.


Kara Jensen

Texas Votes Against Experts Fact-Checking Textbooks

The Texas school board has voted against allowing academic experts to fact-check their textbooks, instead instituting a rule that any textbook review panels must be composed of a majority of people with sufficient content expertise and experience to audit the materials. What do you think?

But the only way to ensure history doesn't repeat itself is to make it up.


Brad Wolff

It's hard to trust experts when they've gotten it so occasionally wrong.


Abe Lustrom

I've always felt education should be about more than memorizing facts, so getting rid of those is a step in the right direction.


Brandon Whurley

NIH Retiring All Research Chimps

Due to continued public outcry and the dwindling need to conduct research on primates, the National Institutes of Health announced they will retire all 50 of their remaining research chimpanzees, who will be relocated to various sanctuaries nationwide. What do you think?


Dora Winfield

NIH Retiring All Research Chimps

That's great news. These chimps deserve to live out their lives experiencing side effects in peace.


Jake Condon

NIH Retiring All Research Chimps

This should open up several more lucrative job opportunities for humans.


Chet Lowry

New York Launches Terrorism Prevention App

The state of New York has unveiled See Something, Send Something, a free mobile app through which users can send photographs or tips of suspicious activity directly to New York law enforcement, which will then send the information to the proper agency for review. What do you think?

Finally, people will have a fast, convenient way to prevent the spread of terrorism without taking time out of their busy schedule.


Bryce Bailey

Sounds like a cool app, but there's no way I'm deleting CastleVille to make room for it.


Lucy Madison

This is so innovative. I can't wait to see something suspicious!


Patrick LoBue

Police Took More From Citizens Than Burglars In 2014

Economist Martin Armstrong notes that $4.5 billion in personal property was seized by police in 2014 via civil forfeiture, the process by which a criminal suspect surrenders goods possibly connected to that crime, figures that well surpass the $3.5 billion in property stolen by burglars last year. What do you think?

These numbers aren't surprising, given that thieves have the added pressure of trying not to get caught.


Mikayla Sapp

This isn't a competition. Both groups should be equally proud of their accomplishments.


Maddie Klinger

America Celebrates Thanksgiving

All across the nation, families and loved ones are gathering to celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. What are you thankful for this year?

But I'm still giving thanks from last year.


Burt Goode

America Celebrates Thanksgiving

Duct tape, bleach, plastic sheeting, and green bean casserole!


Mick Hackney

America Celebrates Thanksgiving

That techno song with the long sax solo. I don't know what it's called.


Gary Stephens

Sugar-Free Drinks Might Cause Dental Issues

A new study suggests that the chemical acids in sugar-free drinks like diet soda can cause measurable harm to tooth enamel, an erosion that is just as damaging as the tooth decay caused by regular soda. What do you think?

Deciding between obesity and dentures is a choice every soda drinker has to make at some point.


Wanda Jefkenn

It's just so hard to get that phosphoric acid kick anywhere else.


Mort Russell

Then will someone please inform me what beverage I can safely drink 11 cans of per day?


Gordy Loughman

$5 Computer Sells Out In One Day

Educational nonprofit Raspberry Pi has released a computer motherboard called the Zero that retails for just five dollars, selling out of the product in a single day and giving away an additional 10,000 free units with each copy of their print magazine's December issue. What do you think?

Once I give up on trying to put it together, it's nice to know I've only wasted five bucks.


Erin Reid

$5 Computer Sells Out In One Day

They should have a little more confidence in their product. I'm sure it's worth at least eight dollars.


Beau Hitchens

$5 Computer Sells Out In One Day

We've come so far since the 1976 Cray-1 supercomputer came free with a magazine.


Chas Stillbury

Police Ask NFL To Allow Armed Off-Duty Cops Into Games

The National Fraternal Order of Police has written a letter to the NFL urging the league to allow off-duty police officers to bring concealed firearms into football stadiums during games in order to help prevent attacks by ISIS or other terrorist groups that target large crowds. What do you think?

I thought extra security was what all those Blue Angels flyovers were for.


Anita Horvath

I'll feel a lot safer knowing all those weapons are off the street for a few hours each Sunday.


Brady Volpe

Better do what they say. They have guns.


Maurice Howsen

IKEA Designs Refugee Shelters

The IKEA Foundation has announced its plan to aid Syrian refugees by unveiling a line of ready-to-assemble temporary shelters that feature steel frames and locking doors, with reps saying the product is a small step toward allowing displaced people to live with dignity. What do you think?


Jodie McDowell

IKEA Designs Refugee Shelters

Haven't these people been through enough without the added struggle of assembling IKEA products?


Stu Seiswell

IKEA Designs Refugee Shelters

I'd like to do my part by donating these 49,000 Allen keys I've amassed over the years.


Phyllis Strom

Holiday Lights Could Disrupt Wi-Fi Connection

According to a British communications agency, the wiring in holiday light displays can interfere with a home's radio frequencies and disrupt its Wi-Fi connection, a phenomenon also caused by microwaves and baby monitors. What do you think?

That's why I only leave my lights up until Easter.


Gil Russo

So if I hang enough lights, will my grandchildren talk to me?


Warren Tilley

I set up the manger with a booster, so we should be good at my place.


Tim Lovell

Japan Intends To Kill Whales Despite Global Outcry

Though conservationists worldwide have urged against the hunt, Japan has sent a whaling fleet into the Antarctic to kill 333 minke whales over the next three months for the purposes of scientific research, a claim actively disputed by other nations. What do you think?

Conservationists never recommend killing anything.


Martin Mulalley

To brush off a global outcry like that, you have to really enjoy it.


Betty Gould

We'll see who's outraged when all that top-notch whale research comes in.


Garrett Rencito

Hackers Access Children's Names, Photos In VTech Breach

Toy manufacturer VTech is the latest target of a massive data breach in which hackers have obtained personal information via children's tablet devices, gaining access to over 4 million adults' and children's names, photos, and chat logs. What do you think?

Well, they have to learn that privacy is a delusion sooner or later.


Joyce Dowell

Sony, Apple, VTech—yep, hackers have clearly targeted the big three.


Joel Kling

If they found out my daughter likes pizza and Taylor Swift, I'll kill them with my bare hands.


Blake Scannell

Black Friday Sees Record Gun Sales

The FBI reports that they performed a record number of background checks for gun sales on Black Friday, conducting roughly two per second, or 185,345 individual checks, breaking the previous record from December 2012 following the Sandy Hook massacre. What do you think?

A country as great as America is only going to keep setting records.


Bob Gellerman

Black Friday Sees Record Gun Sales

I didn't even want a gun, but I couldn't pass up those amazing Black Friday deals.


Julie Wiener

Black Friday Sees Record Gun Sales

Sure, but the stats don't tell you about all the guns that are returned after Christmas.


Becca Rey

Men More Likely To Take Paternity Leave If Child Is Male

A recent study on workplace paternity leave programs found that while men are now more likely to take advantage of the time off than they were a decade ago, fathers are 50 percent more likely to take paternity leave for a son than for a daughter. What do you think?

That's terrible! Paternity leave shouldn't be dictated by anything but the whims of the employer.


Joshua Schiro

Didn't we already address this with Take Your Daughter To Work Day?


Joey Furlong

Fathers are just more motivated to take leave knowing they've got another guy at home to talk dump trucks with.


Dottie Carson

New Dating Site Caters To Disney Fans

A new dating website called Mouse Mingle seeks to connect people via a mutual love of Walt Disney films, pairing users according to their favorite Disney songs, characters, and park attractions. What do you think?

I think 8-year-olds are a little young to be dating.


Howie Baird

New Dating Site Caters To Disney Fans

Whatever happened to just showing up to the bar in a Cogsworth costume and seeing who's into it?


Lawrence Van Ness

New Dating Site Caters To Disney Fans

Finally I can gush over 'Song Of The South' with like-minded fans.


Rod Lepkin

Study: Many People Moved By Falsely Profound Statements

A new study investigates the common traits among those who are most moved by pseudo-profound but ultimately meaningless statements, finding that this failure to detect nonsense could cause one to confuse vagueness for profundity. What do you think?

Man, I can't believe I let a string of fancy words sucker me into watching a sunrise.


Shane Vogel

The scientific community needs to stop picking on idiots.


Chelsea McEnroe

Still, it must be pretty great to experience a mind-blowing epiphany every time you check Facebook.


Keith Collins

Astronaut To Run Marathon From Space

British astronaut Tim Peake, scheduled to depart for the International Space Station on December 15, plans to run the London Marathon next April while aboard the spacecraft by strapping into a treadmill that simulates normal gravity by applying downward force. What do you think?

Running a marathon is just the kind of outer space adventure I always dreamed of as a kid.


Dolores Petrik

Astronaut To Run Marathon From Space


Jake Dolby

Astronaut To Run Marathon From Space

I don't envy the next guy who gets cornered by him at a space station gathering.


Sandy McLean

Beijing Issues First Red Alert For Smog

The city of Beijing has issued its first smog-related red alert due to consecutive days of heavy air pollutants, urging schools to close down and restricting the number of cars on the roads. What do you think?

Who doesn't want a day off to sit inside and enjoy the fresh air?


Don Friel

Beijing Issues First Red Alert For Smog

Thankfully most Christmas-related production is already winding down for the year.


Colton Hillard

Beijing Issues First Red Alert For Smog

I never thought America's last remaining advantage over China would be the air quality of Pittsburgh.


Grant Herlihy

Veterans To Receive First Penis Transplants In U.S.

Following the success of such surgeries in South Africa, the first penis transplants will soon be performed in the U.S. on veterans who have sustained genital injuries while on tours of duty, fully replacing their damaged organs with those of deceased donors. What do you think?

It seems only fair that this surgery should also be available to those brave men who lost their genitals in the course of recreation.


Lucille Twomey

How gratifying to see America completely pay off its debt to veterans.


Ross Gould

What box should I check on my driver's license to make sure that happens?


Rita Bailey

Company To Turn Picasso School Into Woody Allen Museum

Barcelona's trade unions are contesting one media company's plan to open a Woody Allen museum at the site of Pablo Picasso's former art school, a structure built in 1775 but unused since 2009, a proposal that the unions say caters much more to tourists than residents of the city. What do you think?

This is a terrible idea. The construction costs on the Existential Dread wing alone would be staggering.


Chuck Thornhill

Wouldn't it make more sense to open it in New York where it could be enjoyed by Woody Allen?


Bennett Jameson

Hey, when a family comes to Barcelona, they want to see Sagrada Familia, Montjuïc castle, and the giant chicken costume from 'Sleeper.'


Toby Cafferty

Pizza Hut Partners With University For New Curriculum

Manchester Metropolitan University is partnering with Pizza Hut to offer an apprenticeship program for students to spend time both in the classroom and at actual Pizza Hut locations, studying financial analysis, food production, and restaurant management. What do you think?

Yeah, but how many of these kids will actually be able to land a position at Pizza Hut after graduation?


Alicia Goodman

Right, like I'm going to entrust my son's pizza education to the institution that brought us the P'Zone.


Larry Ardmore

See? You don't have to pay Hamburger University–level tuition to get a good education.


Hugh Ballard

NYC Getting 'High-Heel-Friendly' Subway Grates

The MTA has announced the completion of its new ventilation facility, paired with new sidewalk grates that feature slip-resistant surfaces and smaller half-inch openings between crossbars to make them safer and more convenient for pedestrians wearing high heels. What do you think?

It's nice to see some positive grate-related news for a change.


Stella Connolly

Wonderful! Manhattan's streets are always so congested with dozens of trapped women.


Steve Cusimano

Feminism is turning this country into a place I don't recognize.


Ronald Dawkins

Breakup Coordinator Helps People Get Over Exes

A new service position, a so-called social media breakup coordinator, is assisting those who have recently exited relationships by erasing exes from the client's social feeds, manipulating website algorithms to hide updates about those exes, and removing relevant contact info from clients' smartphones. What do you think?

Do they have experience dismantling shrines?


Jerry Palak

That does sound a lot easier than creating a whole new identity after every breakup.


Janet Soulsby

But this might also help my ex move on, and I am nowhere near ready for that.


Elizabeth O'Grady

Hoverboards Facing Increased Restrictions

Following several reports of hoverboards spontaneously combusting due to low-quality batteries, Amazon and Overstock have ceased to sell the product, and many airlines have taken steps to ban the boards from their flights due to safety risks. What do you think?

Thank you for rescuing us once more, Mr. Bezos!


Donnie Harlan

Spontaneous combustion is a small price to pay for rolling to your destination slightly quicker than you could walk there.


Fred Constantine

Okay, good, so they're not supposed to explode. I just thought I was doing it wrong.


Larry Dahl

Japanese Women Sue For Right To Keep Surname

A group of five women are suing the Japanese government in an attempt to eliminate the 1896 law that requires couples to take the same surname when they marry, a law that they say violates their civil rights but which conservatives uphold as a means of binding families together. What do you think?

I often long for the utopian equality that prevailed before 1896.


Jacob Eastley

Japan shouldn't worry too much. There are plenty of other ways to confine women to their prescribed role.


Stacey Longeran

I don't even want to think about the social upheaval that would occur if we allowed that in this country.


Stefan Weiss

New Law Could Ban European Teens From Social Media

Lawmakers are considering a controversial alteration to the European Data Protection Regulation that would require teens under 16 to gain parental consent to access sites such as Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, potentially barring thousands of teens from social media. What do you think?

But European teens are the whole reason I'm on social media.


Terrance Joel

It might work at first, but it's only a matter of time before some teen figures out how to click the 'Yes, I am 16' button.


Jessica Armstrong

With limited internet, it'll be much harder for young people to stay informed on major events like Rachel's bat mitzvah.


Gordon Haugh

U.S. Executions At Lowest Level Since 1991

The year 2015 saw 28 executions of death row inmates in six states, the lowest number in nearly 25 years due to shortages of lethal injection drugs and the nation's shifting attitudes toward capital punishment. What do you think?


Gil Feingold

You mean our most dangerous criminals are just out there somewhere, living freely inside our maximum-security prisons?


Miranda Lindon

Good to know it's not for lack of trying!


Dexter Whipple

Ghostbusters,' 'Top Gun' Added To National Film Registry

The Library of Congress announced that the National Film Registry will now include Top Gun, Ghostbusters, and the world's first copyrighted film, 1894's Edison Kinetoscopic Record of a Sneeze, all of which epitomize the diversity and richness of the nation's cinematic heritage. What do you think?

Maybe now people will realize that the movie Ghostbusters is good.


Maude Landry

Looks like the Library of Congress managed to strike a good balance between comedy, drama, and sneezing.


Justin Dowd

I hope they added that video of the screaming goats, too. I like that one.


Scott Pernai

Sale Of Gas-Fueled Cars To Be Limited By 2050

The United Nations Conference on Climate Change announced an agreement by five countries to ban the sale of new gas-fueled cars by 2050, a move that would reduce global pollution but could cause economic complications if electric car production is unable to meet rising demand. What do you think?

And they said I was crazy for investing my life savings in gondolas.


Gloria Rickert

You can't ask Americans to stop nursing their sneering contempt for electric cars in two short generations.


Rory Copeland

Scientists To 'Resurrect' Giant Tortoise

Though the last living Galapagos tortoise, Lonesome George, died in 2012 at 100 years old, scientists are hopeful they can resurrect the extinct species and return it to its environment by breeding tortoises on nearby islands who have the closest DNA match to George. What do you think?

I commend these scientists for finding such a boring way to play God.


Lola Eisley

But if the new breed doesn't turn out right, we'll be living with our mistakes for another century.


Thad Wolz

I can't believe my letter-writing campaign to safeguard George's sperm amounted to nothing.


Noreen Reid

Study: Presidents Die Sooner Than Opponents

A study analyzing data from 17 countries found that, although elected leaders live slightly longer than the average citizen, the losers in these elections tend to outlive the victors by approximately three years, a disparity likely caused by the stress of leadership. What do you think?

Running for president is a win-win situation!


Russell Dillon

This makes sense. The winning candidate has to shake a lot more citizens' hands.


Chris Wylp

There's no way Jimmy Carter isn't skewing these stats.


Tammy Blankenship

Parrots Observed Using Tools, Sharing

Psychologists have found that captive parrots use tools such as pebbles or date pits to scrape the inside of seashells to derive their nourishing calcium powder and also share those tools with one another, the first evidence of a nonhuman species exhibiting these behaviors. What do you think?

I bet they're selfish in other ways, though.


Alex Connor

Parrots Observed Using Tools, Sharing

What a fascinating discovery right before we inevitably eliminate the species.


Rusty Bohls

Parrots Observed Using Tools, Sharing

A date pit—of course! Why didn't I think of that?


Harvey Carson

Pediatricians: Screen All Children For Depression, HIV

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends in its new guidelines that all children regardless of risk level be regularly tested for high cholesterol, depression, and HIV, screenings that could detect issues early enough to eliminate the need for medication later in life. What do you think?

Sure, as long as I can still regularly assure my kids that life is meaningless.


Gail Whethers

We can't keep coddling our children with all this medical attention.


Marco Zimmer

They should probably also see a podiatrist. It just seems to fit with all that other stuff, you know?


Doug Woolney

Mein Kampf' Returns To German Bookstores

Following the copyright expiration of Mein Kampf, the manifesto Hitler wrote from prison in 1925, the book has been released in Germany for the first time in 70 years and has sold out completely within days of its republication. What do you think?

This is great news. You can't fully appreciate the poetry of his hatred unless you read it in the original German.


Tatiana Macklin

This could get a whole new generation hooked on reading!


Jedd Boylan

If people like manifestos, just wait until they see what I've been working on.


Damian Nix

Signs Of Dinosaur 'Foreplay' Discovered

Paleontologists in Colorado have found scratch patterns left by dinosaurs that appear to be nest-building maneuvers, but because no evidence of nesting was found at the site, scientists hypothesize these marks were in fact part of the males' mating ritual to entice females to build nests with them. What do you think?

This completely changes how I picture dinosaur sex.


Rick Swanson

Signs Of Dinosaur 'Foreplay' Discovered

If only we'd learned this in time for Jurassic World to include a climactic dirt-scratching scene!


Cora Schiff

Signs Of Dinosaur 'Foreplay' Discovered

Weird. Trilobites always seemed more like the settling-down type to me.


Seamus Hobbs

Dolce & Gabbana Debut Hijabs, Abayas

Fashion house Dolce & Gabbana has released a line of floral hijabs and abayas to begin catering to Muslim women, a $266 billion market that Tommy Hilfiger and DKNY have recently begun designing for as well. What do you think?

I knew that selling clothing to humans was a slippery slope!


Steve Dickel

Dolce & Gabbana Debut Hijabs, Abayas

The path to social tolerance always begins by courting the wealthiest members of a marginalized group.


Alicia Whelan

Dolce & Gabbana Debut Hijabs, Abayas

Risky move on Dolce & Gabbana's part. Florals aren't even in season right now.


Christopher Fortunato

Playboy Mansion For Sale

The 20,000-square-foot Playboy Mansion is currently on the market for $200 million, one of the highest asking prices for a home in the United States, though the terms of the sale dictate that owner Hugh Hefner may continue living in the home until his death. What do you think?

I don't know, $200 million seems a bit steep for a roommate situation.


Anna Carpenter

Playboy Mansion For Sale

That's a steal! Holmby Hills is in a great school district.


Kyle Berwick

Playboy Mansion For Sale

I just hope whoever buys the property maintains the integrity of its original Gothic Tudor sex grotto.


Beth Talbot

Powerball Climbs To $1.5 Billion

The multi-state Powerball lottery, to be drawn Wednesday night, has now shattered world records and reached a new jackpot of $1.5 billion, though the odds of winning are approximately 1 in 292 million. What do you think?

Can't we just let it keep growing forever so we'll always have something to be excited about?


Lorne Wilkins

Powerball Climbs To $1.5 Billion

I'll take any excuse to hang out at the gas station.


Saul Kinzey

Powerball Climbs To $1.5 Billion

Yeah, but what are the odds for someone who bought ten tickets?


Carl McEnroe

New Survey Highlights Silicon Valley Sexism

A recent survey of 200 high-ranking women in Silicon Valley found that 60 percent of respondents had received unwanted sexual advances from colleagues and 75 percent have been asked about their marital status in an interview, statistics that highlight the persistent gender gap in the tech world. What do you think?

A magazine feature showcasing successful women in tech will fix this in a pinch.


Chuck Gower

I've always felt that women deserve a lot more respect to compensate for their lower salaries.


Maren Boltz

This news is going to lead to some awkward conversations around the office ball pit.


Bill Thomason

St. Louis Rams Moving To L.A.

NFL officials have confirmed that the St. Louis Rams will move to Los Angeles next season, paying the NFL a $550 million relocation fee to become the L.A. Rams and play in the Coliseum until construction of their $1.85 billion stadium is complete. What do you think?

I always knew Los Angeles was a bigger city than St. Louis.


Gracie Doyle

St. Louis Rams Moving To L.A.

The taxpayers of St. Louis must be happy to finally have the Edward Jones Dome all to themselves.


Marc Hanssen

St. Louis Rams Moving To L.A.


Dolores Spurlin

Pregnant Women Advised Against Potatoes

A new study in the British Medical Journal found that women who eat more potatoes during pregnancy are at significantly greater risk for gestational diabetes than those who eat a diet richer in vegetables, beans, and whole grains. What do you think?

Oh, make mine a plate of sour cream and chives, then.


Matthew Valle

Pregnant Women Advised Against Potatoes

I'll believe this when I hear it straight from the anonymous commenters on the MommyWhiz message boards.


Ted Aronson

Pregnant Women Advised Against Potatoes

This is a serious blow for pregnant vodka enthusiasts.


Del Gordman

Shipwreck Found In Search For MH370

The remains of a 19th-century ship have been found by search teams currently sweeping the Indian Ocean for signs of missing Malaysian Airlines flight 370, the second shipwreck the search has uncovered within the past year. What do you think?


Violet Keene

Shipwreck Found In Search For MH370

Well, I suppose as long as they're finding lost vessels, it's $150 million well spent.


Wilson Poore

Shipwreck Found In Search For MH370

Man, they really sucked at sailing back then.


Todd Clarke

Average Age Of New Mothers At All-Time High

Due to the drop in teen pregnancy rates and many women's decision to start their families later in life, the average age of first-time moms in the U.S. has reached an all-time high of 26 years and four months. What do you think?

But having a child when you are in no way prepared for one is an important part of growing up!


Roman Lovell

I think it's great that women are taking more time to thrive in the professional world before being pressured to leave it.


Angie Byrne

Please don't give my husband another excuse to put this off.


Retha Hopper

Children's Book Pulled For Flawed Depiction Of Slavery

Scholastic has pulled their title A Birthday Cake For George Washington, a picture book about Washington's slaves proudly preparing for his birthday party, due to many parents' complaints that it misinforms children by romanticizing the relationship house slaves historically had with their masters. What do you think?

Well, most children's literature requires a suspension of disbelief.


Gerald Funke

This is a huge disservice to kids who want to learn the history of George Washington's birthday cake.


Nic Anderton

Looks like the value of my copy just skyrocketed.


Harvey Feltz

Average Home Contains Hundreds Of Bug Species

A detailed survey of 50 homes in Raleigh, NC found that the presence of arthropods such as insects, spiders, and centipedes was far more abundant than previously thought, with each home containing between 32 and 211 unique species, including some believed to be otherwise extinct. What do you think?


Tessa Jorgensen

Just tell me which ones I have to be worried about crawling into my mouth while I'm sleeping.


Noah Purcell

Sesame Street Moves To HBO

The 46th season of Sesame Street has moved from PBS to HBO and features notable format changes, such as shortening episodes to 30 minutes and designing a more upscale urban set, as well as having Oscar the Grouch live in a recycling bin rather than a garbage can. What do you think?

Look, they've got to keep up with the times. Not as many people are living inside garbage cans these days.


Claire Finnegan

Sesame Street Moves To HBO

At the very least, I'm proud of the residents of Sesame Street for holding out this long.


Karl Ebbers

Sesame Street Moves To HBO

Maybe Stephen Hawking can master the alphabet in 30 minutes a day, but not my kid.


Chad Yoder

U.S. Faces Cauliflower Shortage

Due to climate change and the resultant low temperatures in California and Arizona where crops are grown, the nation faces a shortage of cauliflower, driving the price up to eight dollars per bundle in some areas. What do you think?

Is it possible that the price increase is due to rampant speculation by insatiable investors?


Becca Clemmons

U.S. Faces Cauliflower Shortage

Sounds like a death knell for the whole vegetarian trend.


Ralph Deacon

U.S. Faces Cauliflower Shortage

What will people mash in a futile attempt to replace potatoes now?


Duncan Rizer

First Flower Blooms In Space

Astronaut Scott Kelly tweeted an image of an orange zinnia that has been grown entirely within the International Space Station's Veggie chamber despite damages the plant suffered from humidity and mold, an accomplishment that NASA hopes will lead to other agricultural developments in outer space. What do you think?

That ought to help brighten up the unfathomably immense blackness of our universe.


Madeline Dubose

First Flower Blooms In Space

So, what, one day all flowers will be grown in space or something?


Joel Simpson

First Flower Blooms In Space

I never thought I'd be alive to see NASA's final triumph.


Sandy Binns

Possible Ninth Planet Found In Solar System

Astronomers at Caltech have discovered compelling evidence that a massive ninth planet exists far past Neptune, with an orbit around the sun that takes over 10,000 years to complete. What do you think?

I'm not going to lie to you. I've known about this planet for quite some time.


Jared Hoyne

I'll take any opportunity to burn some textbooks!


Dwight Lindgren

How many Styrofoam balls do you people think I can afford?


Gary Wholin

CDC: Half Of U.S. Schools Teach Proper Sex Ed

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have found that less than half of U.S. schools teach their students sexual education according to the CDC's 16 recommended topics, such as correct condom use and where to find reliable information on sexual health. What do you think?

No way are there as many as 16 sex topics.


Tom Merzbicki

What's so great about our kids that they deserve healthy, satisfying lives?


Anita Lafley

We need to reverse this alarming trend by properly training our educators to pop in the DVD and tell everyone to shut up.


Tony Gascoyne

East Coast Braces For Blizzard

Thousands of flights have been canceled and several government agencies have shuttered in anticipation of a massive snowstorm making its way to the East Coast, a blizzard that could affect as many as 75 million people in a dozen states. What do you think?

Typical East Coast media bias. It snowed here in Columbus last night, but I didn't see any news trucks.


Darryl Jeffers

East Coast Braces For Blizzard

How could the promise of eating beefaroni by candlelight worry anyone?


Monica Penderton

East Coast Braces For Blizzard

Great. The first time in my life a journalist wants to interview me, and it's to talk about the fucking weather.


Wanda Koenig

World's Largest Known Prime Number Found

A global initiative to discover previously unknown large prime numbers has deduced the largest one ever discovered, a 22-million-digit figure known as 2^74,207,281-1 that was found at the University of Central Missouri. What do you think?


Bert Normand

Congratulations, 2^74,207,281-1. You're now in the big leagues with legends like 3 and 7.


Garrett Sanderson

The only indivisible thing I care about is the United States of America.


Chester Bulgren

Rick Perry Endorses Ted Cruz

Texas governor Rick Perry has endorsed Ted Cruz for president after suspending his own campaign last September, an announcement that follows Sarah Palin's high-profile endorsement of Donald Trump last week. What do you think?

Cruz will need support from people a lot richer than Rick Perry if he wants a chance of winning.


Dora Winnfield

Rick Perry Endorses Ted Cruz

I'll wait to make my decision until I see the endorsements of the other quitters.


Dustin Fitch

Rick Perry Endorses Ted Cruz

Vice President Rick' has a nice ring to it.


Toby Groeske

Dogs Might Detect Human Emotions

A study of canine responses to verbal and visual stimuli has led researchers to conclude that dogs can distinguish human emotions based on how the person's voice matches their facial expressions, a mental process similar to how infants observe the world around them. What do you think?

The beautiful thing about animals is that they always surprise us by being slightly less stupid than we thought.


Nancy Herrell

Dogs Might Detect Human Emotions

In that case, I hope my dog recognized just how hard it was for us to put him down.


Kent Corbin

Dogs Might Detect Human Emotions

Could they help pinpoint whether these feelings are the result of anxiety or depression?


Garrett Schaffer

Study: Zebra's Stripes Not For Camouflage

New research has confirmed that the zebra's stripes, commonly believed to provide camouflage, do not actually assist in evasion since the stripe pattern becomes evident only after a predator has already smelled the zebra, leaving the reason for the stripes a mystery. What do you think?

Yeah, well, then tell me why I've never seen a zebra before.


Carol Whitmouth

Viewers of reality TV have always known that zebra stripes are definitely not for camouflage.


Manny Tellaga

Female Professors Rated Lower By Students

A French university found that students rated male professors higher than female ones even when the students performed worse in the male instructor's class, highlighting both gender biases in education and the failure of evaluations to measure effective teaching. What do you think?

If they teach first period, they have it coming.


Jane Samuels

Man, I was hoping this latest study on innate gender biases would be full of good news.


Erik Wickert

It's pretty bitchy of those researchers to point this out.


Nancy Ruehl

Australia Weighing Independence From Britain

An Australian lobby group will revisit a 1999 initiative to remove the country from British rule and become the Republic of Australia, though it is unclear whether voters will ultimately vote in favor of independence. What do you think?

The Empire must crush this before things get out of hand.


Jeff Darren

It's news like this that makes me proud to live in a country that favors modern oligarchy.


Rupert Smythe

I wouldn't want to be the one who breaks this news to Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.


Wendy Longeran

Conspiracy Theories Mathematically Tested

Mathematicians at Oxford have devised an equation that measures the lifespan of a conspiracy theory before it would realistically become exposed to the public, finding that if a given theory is not substantiated within four years, the widely accepted version of events is all but certain to be true. What do you think?

Interesting. Do you have any additional literature on this topic that I could pass out on the train?


Chet Morse

I've always suspected the field of mathematics was in on it.


David Doogan

True, although this study fails to point out that sunspots and satellite trajectories are also determining factors.


Morgan Darby

Google Algorithm Beats Board Game Champion

An algorithm designed by Google's DeepMind artificial intelligence division has conquered the reigning champion of the board game Go, a feat that Facebook claims its own AI division is also close to achieving. What do you think?


Tiffany Wells

That's not fair! Using a combination of complex algorithms to aid reinforcement learning is cheating!


Dennis Kalen

I'm sorry, but this AI stuff scares me to death. It's only a matter of time until we wake up to find the world overrun with computers playing all sorts of board games.


Keith Carroll

Uber Placing 'Bop It' In Cars To Deter Assault

In an effort to curb the rise in assaults on drivers by intoxicated passengers, Uber is testing whether placing Bop It games in their cars will calm belligerent riders by giving them an outlet for their frustration. What do you think?

But will winning a game of 'Bop It' make me feel like more of a man?


Brenda Hayvitch

I don't understand why people can't just be responsible and bring their own 'Bop It' when they go out drinking.


Lance Fogel

If I can't bash someone's face in, then what the hell are my nine dollars going toward?


Craig Huber

Jets Cheerleaders Awarded $325,000 In Settlement

The New York Jets have paid the team's cheerleaders $325,000 after a class-action lawsuit was filed over low wages, with plaintiffs claiming they only made $150 per game and were compensated for neither practice time nor expenses, all of which averaged out to $1.50 per hour. What do you think?

That's good. It just doesn't feel right to be ogling underpaid women.


Brett Boyer

How can the NFL be expected to pay cheerleaders more than $150 per game when they have to set so much aside for concussion settlements?


Melinda Hassey

They should be doing this for the love of the game, just like the players.


Garrett Buting

Security Experts Warn Against Smart Appliances

Experts at a cybersecurity summit in London warned consumers this week against the proliferation of smart home appliances such as refrigerators and toasters, explaining that this unregulated access to one's personal information could be a target for hackers. What do you think?

Do they really expect me not to buy a toaster that remembers my name?


Casey Holdridge

I just feel safer limiting the internet to my phone, computer, tablet, TV, three game consoles, and my car.


Rich Beyers

Hey, I spent thousands of dollars on all these high-tech kitchen appliances, so don't worry about me. I know what I'm doing.


Reese Crowley

White Actor Cast As Michael Jackson In Upcoming Film

Controversy has surrounded the casting of white actor Joseph Fiennes as Michael Jackson in the upcoming comedy Elizabeth, Michael & Marlon, a film based on the allegedly true story of Michael Jackson leaving New York City with Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando after the 9/11 attacks. What do you think?

When will Hollywood finally address the issue of white British actors taking roles away from white American actors?


Brian Dornan

Of course it's controversial, but I think enough time has finally passed to make a movie about 9/11.


Jamie Miller

It's like we're living in a society where the triumphant hook from 'Black Or White' doesn't even exist.


Troy Westin

New Barbie Released In Curvy, Petite Forms

With sales on the decline since 2012, Mattel has announced a sweeping redesign of the latest Barbie dolls, which in addition to the classic slender version will now be sold in tall, curvy, and petite sizes for the first time. What do you think?

Finally, a Barbie that comes in all four shapes of woman!


Emmy Verdin

That sounds drastic. Why don't they just give her a haircut and check the sales numbers in another four years?


Braden Hoth

This is really going to save me the work of screwing Barbie's head onto my old Triple H dolls.


Chuck Shanahan

Facebook, Instagram Ban Private Gun Sales

Both Facebook and Instagram will now both prohibit the private sale of guns on their websites, citing concerns that such transactions might circumvent background checks and lead to the illegal firearms purchases. What do you think?

That's too bad. Facebook was such a great way to reconnect with my old high school arms dealers.


Mirabelle Tannen

Why doesn't Facebook streamline things for everyone by selling our personal data to licensed gun vendors?


Owen Schacter

Luckily I've got a few dozen backup loopholes lined up.


Jeff White

Teacher Wins 'Fifty Shades Of Grey' Lawsuit

Texas educator Jennifer Pedroza was awarded $11.5 million in a lawsuit claiming that as an employee of Writer's Coffee Shop, the original publisher of Fifty Shades Of Grey, Pedroza was defrauded of royalties from the erotic novel's subsequent success. What do you think?

I hate to see the close-knit erotica community wracked by this kind of scandal.


Marla Bowen

Defrauding your business partner completely undermines the novel's themes of empathy and generosity.


Jonah Herrero

Good for her. All of our teachers deserve to be making a comfortable living from royalty disputes.


Barry Connolly

Lady Gaga To Sing At Super Bowl

The NFL has confirmed Lady Gaga will sing the national anthem at the upcoming Super Bowl, just one week before she is scheduled to perform a David Bowie tribute at the Grammy Awards. What do you think?

It's always nice when the NFL confirms things unrelated to assault.


Ty Beezer

Lady Gaga To Sing At Super Bowl

My grandfather didn't storm the beaches of Normandy so that our nation's anthem could be sung by a talented, empowered woman.


Marion Shorebrook

Lady Gaga To Sing At Super Bowl

The players must be worried about having to follow that up.


Humphrey Wallace

Gene Editing Experiments To Begin In Britain

A controversial form of gene editing has been approved for testing in Britain that involves modifying the DNA of human embryos, an experiment that researchers hope will improve fertility treatments. What do you think?

Just make sure they know that the base pairing rules are A with T, C with G.


Max Folta

If we don't keep our hubris in check, there might come a time when embryos are manipulated to look like some hideous amalgam of mother and father.


Joelle Long

My baby angel is perfect just the way she is! Except that brown hair.


Kevin Bartz

CDC: Women Should Only Drink While On Birth Control

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have recommended that all sexually active women, regardless of whether they intend to get pregnant, should be on some form of birth control before consuming any amount of alcohol to prevent a pregnancy with fetal alcohol complications. What do you think?

That's wildly impractical. Does the CDC really expect women to access birth control that easily?


Delia Stoneberg

Finally, a government agency that tells me, to the letter, exactly what to do with my body.


Ilana Geffen

How about we put the onus on men for a change and instruct them to knock drinks out of women's hands?


Charles Tierney

Police Training Eagles To Hunt Drones

Dutch police are testing whether eagles can be dispatched to hunt drones by grabbing them mid-flight, a solution that would curb illegal use of personal drones and minimize the risks involved in disabling a small drone in midair. What do you think?

Sometimes the simplest solution really is the best one.


Tessa LaRue

Police Training Eagles To Hunt Drones

If they're going to put the majestic eagle on the line, they should at least conduct preliminary testing with the black-tailed godwit.


Blake McCown

Police Training Eagles To Hunt Drones

I'm glad somebody at the Dutch National Police is finally reading my letters.


Jermaine Wilkins

Donald Trump Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize

Among those nominated for the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize, Donald Trump has made the list beside Pope Francis, the Afghan women's cycling team, and others due to a nomination letter written by an unknown supporter who praised Trump's vigorous peace through strength ideology. What do you think?

It is true that he hasn't killed anyone yet.


Talia Bowman

Imagine how embarrassed he must be, nominated in the same category as a group of women.


Fred O'Donnell

Yeah, but he'll probably get robbed by some doctor who set up a nonprofit to feed hungry orphans or something.


Chase McManus

Microsoft Testing Underwater Data Centers

Microsoft's Project Natick will soon begin building massive data centers underwater, which will potentially allow for faster internet across major coastal cities and prevent the systems from overheating. What do you think?

They're about to learn the same lesson I did when my flash drive fell into a tureen of ham and bean soup.


Maureen Riley

If only every company were this proactive about rising sea levels.


Stefan Waldorf

From the ocean's depths mankind arose, and to the ocean's depths mankind's backed-up expense reports return.


Andy Wilcop

New York To 'Shut Off' Niagara Falls

In order to remove old, defunct bridges from the site and lay foundation for new ones, the state of New York will use a process called dewatering to briefly halt the flow of Niagara Falls, a relatively simple procedure that is projected to cost $3 million. What do you think?

As long as it's easy and cheap, I'm all for upending the laws of nature.


Georgia Vernon

New York To 'Shut Off' Niagara Falls

But crumbling infrastructure is part of the American aesthetic.


Jack Teagan

New York To 'Shut Off' Niagara Falls


Amos Aronson

Oxford Apologizes For Sexist Definition

Oxford Dictionaries has responded to anthropologist Michael Oman-Reagan after the latter argued their definition of rabid was sexist due to its use of the example phrase rabid feminist, a term that Oxford has promised to revisit and potentially revise in their collection going forward. What do you think?

That's too bad. Dictionaries were one of the last places where men were free to be men.


Tammy Lefkin

Oxford Apologizes For Sexist Definition

So should I get a shot if a feminist bites me or not?


Todd Vail

Oxford Apologizes For Sexist Definition

I guess now we can't even compare women to dogs without being labeled sexist.


Gilbert Ronson

BMI Not An Accurate Measure Of Health

A study analyzing factors such as blood pressure and cholesterol found that people with a BMI in the overweight' range are often otherwise medically healthy, calling BMI into question as an accurate metric for health. What do you think?

That's too bad. Acting concerned for others' health was the perfect excuse for humiliating them.


Wanda Poland

BMI Not An Accurate Measure Of Health

People need to think twice about using pejorative terms like 'overweight,' 'unhealthy,' and 'glucose level.'


Darren Schapiro

BMI Not An Accurate Measure Of Health

I'm not even going to think about living a healthier lifestyle until a doctor can measure exactly how out of shape I am.


Lance Gordon

Orangutans Might Play Games With Zoo Guests

The University of Melbourne is developing new electronic games to mentally stimulate orangutans, with the hope that zoo patrons will soon be able to play games with the apes too. What do you think?

Playing video games while sedated is a pastime that I'm thrilled to start sharing with orangutans.


Francesca Filippo

But I thought the point of zoos was to make me feel superior to animals.


Scott Doyle

Doubtful. I've thrown GameCubes into countless primate enclosures to no effect.


Geoff Lund

New French Law Curbs Food Waste

The French government has made it illegal for stores to throw out unsold food before its expiration date, requiring them to donate to food banks and shelters instead. What do you think?

Legislation that promotes social welfare for no cost? The French are so soft.


Daniella Dolan

New French Law Curbs Food Waste


Colin Foreman

New French Law Curbs Food Waste

As a shop owner, how I ignore widespread hunger should be up to me.


Teddy Steinhafel

2015 Shark Attacks Set New Record

Sharks attacked 98 people worldwide in 2015, outstripping the previous record of 88 attacks in the year 2000. What do you think?

But publicizing this record only encourages the sharks to set a new one.


Anita Berger

2015 Shark Attacks Set New Record

Maybe it's time to start overfishing again?


Frank Goetz

2015 Shark Attacks Set New Record

Add two more to that total. I didn't know we had to report them.


Maude Garner

Twitter Launches Anti-Troll Initiative

Twitter has announced the launch of an anti-trolling cybersafety committee to stem online abuse. What do you think?

Nothing like falling stock prices to incentivize public safety.


Chris Zopolski

Twitter Launches Anti-Troll Initiative

They'd do well to remember all the positive change that threatening to kill someone's family has brought about.


Grayson Pickett

Twitter Launches Anti-Troll Initiative

A whole committee? Jesus, I said I was sorry.