Theodore Gomez

Study: Majority Of Web Traffic Not Human

Researchers found that humans accounted for only 38.5 percent of the traffic on the internet in 2013, with the remaining 61.5 percent of traffic being driven by bots, automated hacking programs, and various other computer scripts that emulate human actors. What do you think?

Oh no. I'd hate to see the internet fall into the hands of unemotional automatons that do nothing but surf the web all day.


Ellie Light

I bet all those robots are procrastinating from building a car or something.


Ben Affleck

Cool post it is definitely. My friend has been looking for this tips. Pure Wood Stock Designs Here.


Glen Graham

Chinese Air Pollution Visible From Space

Highlighting the severity of China's pollution crisis, NASA published satellite photos showing a thick haze of smog and air pollution spanning 750 miles from Shanghai to Beijing, or about the distance between Boston and Raleigh, NC. What do you think?

I'm glad the crying Native American man from those '70s ads isn't in orbit right now to see this.


Helen Choi

Someone really needs to stop buying so many Chinese-manufactured goods.


Antonio Semidi

We're still better at polluting the Gulf of Mexico, though.


John Danvers

Polar Vortex' Hits Nation With Record-Low Temperatures

A mass of freezing air that began in the Arctic hit the middle of the country with its coldest weather in two decades on Monday, with some states in the Plains and Midwest facing windchill temperatures below -50 degrees Fahrenheit and many districts deciding to close public schools for the day. What do you think?

I can't respect any vortex that doesn't suck me into a new dimension.


Megan Murphy

So they're going to cancel an entire school day just because it's a little cold out and everyone would die?


Tom Magner

Why the fuck do you think I'm wearing these mittens?


Lucas Harriman

Colorado Sees Boom In Pot Tourism After Legalization

Following its legalization of recreational marijuana sales on Jan. 1, Colorado has seen crowds of out-of-state pot tourists traveling there to buy the drug from legal dispensaries and to sign up for pot tours" that bus them from seller to seller. What do you think?"

I've heard getting high is wonderful this time of year.


Cassandra Wells

Great, now I have to choose between this and the haunted Denver bus tour.


Kevin McCreary

Ultra-HD "4K"" Televisions Replacing 3D TVs In Stores"

Five years after the industry touted 3D TVs as the future of home entertainment, manufacturers at Monday's International Consumer Electronics Show announced that they are phasing out their 3D TV lineups in favor of Ultra-HD 4K" televisions capable of showing video at four times the pixel resolution of standard HDTVs. What do you think?"

I was just saying how the image on my crystal clear 60-inch, high-definition television isn't sharp enough.


Rachel LeClair

They really expect me to go back to watching Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga'Hoole in 2D?


Dustin Milburn

3D, 4K, what's next? A higher number followed by a different letter? I bet that would be pretty cool.


Colin Havermeyer

Australia Puts 300 Sharks On Twitter

To prevent attacks on beachgoers, Australian government researchers have tagged 338 sharks with transmitters that send out an alert via Twitter anytime one of the animals swims within a half mile of a beach. What do you you think?

As someone who swims with seals at dusk every day, I find this very helpful.


Finn Kehoe

Australia Puts 300 Sharks On Twitter

What's wrong with just having a little girl on the beach pointing at the ocean and screaming? That always seems to create an appropriate level of panic.


Gwyneth Kingman

Australia Puts 300 Sharks On Twitter

Man, Google+ is never going to take off.


Doug Hryniewich

High Praise Makes Kids With Low Self-Esteem Feel Worse

A new study published in the journal Psychological Science found that giving excessive praise to children with low self-esteem may actually make them feel worse, as inflated praise can put more pressure on them to consistently meet high expectations and compel them to shrink away from difficult challenges. What do you think?

So I just have to be meaner to my kids? I can do that.


Kara Ballinger

Hmmm, I better downgrade my gold star stickers to silver.


Josh Orosco

I prefer to make cryptic comments and let them take it however they want.


Jodie Campbell

Study: 80 Percent Of Super Bowl Ads Don't Boost Sales

A new study by advertising research firm Communicus found that 4 in 5 commercials that air during the Super Bowl don't increase sales of the product, an outcome researchers attribute in part to advertisers focusing more on telling a story than promoting a brand. What do you think?

Thank goodness all other television ads are still super effective.


Richard Schlegel

I know, it's like what is this guy driving a Mercedes with Kate Upton trying to even say?


Alex Candelaria

Since when did commercials become all about selling things?


Adam Gilbert

Obama Funds International Space Station Through 2024

Scrapping the plan to bring the International Space Station down to earth in 2020, the Obama administration has agreed to add four years to its life and fund the $100 billion orbital research laboratory through 2024. What do you think?

Personally, I think we already got our $100 billion's worth.


Karyn Rickard

Are we still even going to be interested in space by then?


Noel Macleod

Eh, what the hell. Give those nerds something to live for.


Megan Forster

Food Companies Cut 6.4 Trillion Calories From Products

A study has found that a group of 16 major food companies including Kraft and Coca-Cola cut a total of 6.4 trillion calories from their products between 2007 and 2012, far exceeding their pledge to slash 1.5 trillion calories by 2015. What do you think?

They better not have laid a hand on my Phineas and Ferb macaroni and cheese.


Rob Keeney

Food companies can take away my calories, but they can never take away the self-loathing that drives me to overeat.


Matt Jacoby

Half Of Congress Reps Are Millionaires

A new analysis by the Center for Responsive Politics found that for the first time in the history of the nation, more than half of the current 534 members of Congress have total assets of $1 million or more. What do you think?

I'm sure they would much rather trade all that money in for a strong and sustainable middle class.


Ellen Dunn

Half Of Congress Reps Are Millionaires

Finally, the wealthy and entitled have a voice in Washington!


Arthur Goerss

Half Of Congress Reps Are Millionaires

I hope my congressman is a millionaire so he doesn't feel left out.


Deborah Riccio

Coffee May Improve Memory

Researchers found that individuals who viewed a series of images and then consumed 200 mg of caffeine performed better on a memory test the following day compared to subjects who did not take caffeine. What do you think?

Wow, imagine being able to watch any TV show without having to see the recap before each episode.


Ty Robillard

Coffee May Improve Memory

Great. I've been looking for a way to keep all those video game scores ingrained in my mind.


D.J. Quezada

Coffee May Improve Memory

Very good, but that still leaves one nagging question: Does drinking coffee improve memory?


Raymond Massey

Flu Hitting Obese People Harder

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 46 percent of American adults who have been hospitalized with this year's strain of the flu are obese, a figure much higher than the 20-30 percent average of years past. What do you think?

Are we sure they're not just faking it to get some of that tasty medicine?


Ross Bristow

Flu Hitting Obese People Harder

So that's why Hardy was always sneezing while Laurel looked fine.


Sandra Vafiadis

Flu Hitting Obese People Harder

Oh great, another excuse for people to not hang out with me.


Gordon Solomon

Pope Francis Encourages Women To Breastfeed

During a ceremony at the Sistine Chapel on Sunday in which he baptized 32 children, Pope Francis encouraged mothers in attendance to breastfeed hungry infants in public, saying it was even acceptable in church. What do you think?

Man, this guy would do anything to get people to think he's reasonable.


Ian Cahoon

I hope none of the mothers accidentally bop their baby's head while making the sign of the cross.


Jonathan Carpenter

I'm sorry, but I prefer my churches to be houses of shame.


Tony Darden

9% Of Dog, Cat Owners Write Pets Into Their Wills

A survey from the American Pet Products Association found that, as of 2012, 9 percent of both cat and dog owners had made financial arrangements in their wills to provide for their pets after their deaths. What do you think?

Yeah, I put my dog in my will, but it was mostly as a 'fuck you' to my kids.


Marjorie Petty

Would my dog have to sign the contract with an adorable paw print?


Esther Ziffren

Miss Precious knows she isn't getting anything.


Art Kantrowe

Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr To Perform At Grammys

Surviving Beatles Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr will perform together at this year's Grammy Awards on January 26. What do you think?

Finally, my kids will get to experience Beatlemania for themselves!


Juliana Guerrero

Wait, sirs are permitted to play with non-sirs?


Lester Benson

Those two just love rubbing it in George and John's faces that they're still alive.


Blake Caso

Police Raid Justin Bieber's Home

Following allegations last week that Justin Bieber threw eggs at a neighbor's house, police raided the teen pop idol's Calabasas mansion yesterday morning. What do you think?


Bart Lambert

Police Raid Justin Bieber's Home

Seems like only yesterday Justin was a fresh-faced, inordinately famous, deeply disturbed 15-year-old.


Kelly Hirschfeld

Police Raid Justin Bieber's Home

Overcoming such adversity will only make his art even stronger.


Francine Langham

Scientist: Cats View Owners As Large Cats

In his new book Cat Sense, British biologist and animal behavior expert John Bradshaw argues that domestic cats view their owners as large, non-hostile cats, such as a mother cat or an older, larger relative. What do you think?

It's nice to know my fetish has some grounding in science.


Ronald Doucett

Yes, and when humans look at cats, we see tiny, 2-foot-tall human beings. This is all common knowledge.


Lonnie May

Michelle Obama Turns 50

First Lady Michelle Obama turns 50 years old today and will celebrate with a birthday party at the White House tomorrow night, which has been described on official invitations as an evening of Snacks & Sips & Dancing & Dessert. What do you think?


Keith Ballard

Michelle Obama Turns 50

I guess whatever little miss First Lady wants, little miss First Lady gets.


Whitney Kirby

Michelle Obama Turns 50

Wow, she made it to 50? Must be her active lifestyle. Incredible.


Stacey Simmons

President Curbing NSA Spying

In an effort to address citizens' privacy and civil liberty concerns, President Obama announced today that intelligence agencies would now be required to obtain a court's permission to access metadata from telephones. What do you think?

As long as the government has to ask permission from the government first, everything should be okay.


Bruce Greenwood

President Curbing NSA Spying

Now phone conversations won't feel as thrilling.


Andre Dern

President Curbing NSA Spying

Finally, me and my terrorist buddies can get back to business.


Phyllis Ireland

Study: Childless Couples Have Happier Marriages

According to research from a British university, childless couples are happier with their relationships and feel more valued by their partners than couples that have children, with the results holding true for both heterosexual and homosexual couples. What do you think?

My parents did always tell me I was the source of their unhappiness.


Denny Duchesne

So that's why barren women always look so happy.


Brian O'Hara

What are you saying, Sheila? Are you saying you want a divorce?


Peter Quennessen

Obama: Pot No More Harmful Than Alcohol

While saying that he thinks it's a bad habit and has encouraged his daughters not to use the drug, President Barack Obama stated in an interview with The New Yorker that, in terms of its impact on the individual consumer, he believes marijuana is no more dangerous than alcohol. What do you think?

If the president of the United States thinks I should go get high in my truck, then so be it.


Victor Cook

Obama: Pot No More Harmful Than Alcohol

What kind of accurate message does that send to our kids?


Barbara Gallagher

Obama: Pot No More Harmful Than Alcohol

The New Yorker, huh? Are you sure this wasn't one of those funny little cartoons they do?


Lydia Perbandt

Drinking Diet Soda Linked To Eating More

A study found that overweight individuals who drink diet soda eat more food than regular soda drinkers, with both groups consuming roughly the same number of total calories, as the artificial sweeteners in diet soda prevent the brain from feeling that hunger has been sated. What do you think?

That's perfect, because people need to eat food to live.


Richard Pye

But then how do you lose weight if not through soda?


Steven Tongeren

I've always gotten around that problem by spooning some sugar into my diet soda.


Valerie Kleiser

Kids Snorting Smarties Candies In Nationwide Trend

Goaded by thousands of online videos showing the practice, middle school kids across the U.S. have reportedly been crushing up Smarties candies into powder and snorting them, though health officials warn of possibly serious side effects. What do you think?

Middle school is a truly confusing time.


Henry Salant

Man, those kids are going to feel so dumb when they find out they're contradicting U.S. health officials.


Francis Benjamin

This is what happens when you take their cigarettes.


Joel Redding

Amazon Plans To Ship Items Before You Buy Them

Amazon has filed a patent for anticipatory shipping, which would use customers' wish lists, previous purchases, and other data to predict which items they would likely purchase in the future and then ship such merchandise to their homes before they have even placed an order. What do you think?

You mean my Pac-Man-shaped ice cube tray might already be here?


Ross Gordon

That's fine, but what I like to do is look up an appliance on Amazon.com—just to see if I like it online, you know?—and then I go to Sears and just buy it there.


Ann Fazekas

Good luck knowing what I want. I'm fucking nuts.


William Kleiser

World's 85 Richest As Wealthy As Half Global Population

According to a study by Oxfam International, the 85 richest people in the world have a combined net worth of $1.7 trillion, which is equal to the total combined wealth of the nation's poorest 3.5 billion residents, or half the global population. What do you think?


Roger Burke

Why does anyone need that much money? Myself, I would be happy just being richer than a few million poor people.


Mimi Markovsky

Imagine if the wealthiest donated just one dollar a day to charity. That could work out to around 85 bucks a day.


Bill Evans

Warren Buffett Offering $1 Billion For Perfect NCAA Bracket

Warren Buffett, the world's fourth-richest person, is offering a $1 billion prize to anyone who can accurately predict the outcome of every game in this year's NCAA men's basketball tournament, though statisticians estimate even the most knowledgeable fan only has a one-in-a-billion chance of filling out a perfect bracket. What do you think?

A billion dollars? But that's exactly enough to pay for Little Susie's surgery. I have to win!


Ann Despotidou

He didn't come to be the world's richest man by playing it safe.


Kevin D'Amico

The winner at my office gets a Chili's gift card. So it'd be pretty sweet if I could win this one too.


Gary Cypherd

23% Of Americans Didn't Read Book Last Year

A Pew Research Center poll found that nearly 1 in 4 Americans had not read a single book or e-book in the past year, nearly tripling the figure from 1978, when only 8 percent of Americans hadn't read a book during the preceding 12 months. What do you think?


Shellie Hoyt

Yeah, but if you add up all the tweets I read, it's probably pretty close to a book.


Daniel Freedman

Sounds like 23 percent of Americans don't know about the free personal pan pizza you get through Pizza Hut's BOOK IT! reading program.


Nadia Giardino

Justin Bieber Arrested For DUI, Drag Racing

Nineteen-year-old pop icon Justin Bieber was arrested in Miami Beach, FL this morning on charges that he drag raced a Lamborghini down a residential street and then failed a field sobriety test, with each offense potentially netting Bieber up to six months of jail time. What do you think?

See, this is what happens when the public doesn't pay attention to Justin Bieber enough.


James Hooper

He strikes me as someone who would do well in jail.


Terry Shaffer

But what about all those adorable songs he wrote about being in perfect mental health?


Parker Laszlo

Pope Calls Internet 'Gift From God'

In a statement yesterday, Pope Francis called the internet truly good and labeled it a gift from God, saying that it brought humanity closer together. What do you think?


Lonnie Benitez

Pope Calls Internet 'Gift From God'

Wow, first He sends His son to die for us and now He gives us the internet? You're the best, God!


Gwen Hastert

Pope Calls Internet 'Gift From God'


Ann Milliner

Cat Teahouse To Open In San Francisco

A teahouse called KitTea is seeking to open in San Francisco and provide a place for patrons to sip tea and mingle with approximately 10 cats, which will be selected for their temperament from a local rescue service. What do you think?

The cats I want to hang out with wouldn't be caught dead in a place like this.


Jackson Grant

Cat Teahouse To Open In San Francisco

Ever since my cat died, I have been looking to get back out there and mingle.


Robert Gostigian

Cat Teahouse To Open In San Francisco

That's fantastic! I usually have to sprinkle my tea with cat hair I brought from home.


Marisa Hunt

Queen Latifah Officiates 34 Weddings At Grammys

Queen Latifah officiated the weddings of 34 couples—straight, gay, old, young, and of various races and ethnicities—live at the 56th Grammy Awards last night during a performance of the song Same Love by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. What do you think?

It's so inspiring to see people of all sexual orientations coming together to erode the institution of marriage.


Robert Almeida

Just because it's legal for old people to marry doesn't mean I want to see it.


Billy Stevens

Aw man, I'm getting married in a dumb ol' church by a lame priest to the stupid love of my life.


Mike Berandes

Lean In' To Be Made Into Movie

Facebook chief operating officer Sheryl Sandberg's 2013 bestseller Lean In, which aims to empower women in the workplace, is slated to be turned into a movie by Sony Pictures and likely directed by Aaron Sorkin. What do you think?

This has 'no nude scenes' written all over it.


Katie Urso

Lean In' To Be Made Into Movie

I hope it's in 3D. It'd be so cool to see an empowered woman coming right at you.


James Smocer

Lean In' To Be Made Into Movie

My daughter is way too empowered as it is.


Bob Cupisti

Vial Of John Paul II's Blood Stolen From Church

Thieves stole a Catholic relic that contained blood from the late pope John Paul II from a church in central Italy over the weekend, prompting a major police search in the area. What do you think?

They say as long as you have a person's blood, they're not really gone.


Sonia Herron

It's sickening that anyone would use blood for anything but normal Catholic customs.


Victor Loriga

That's why I always hide my blood in an old Pringles can.


Adam Newman

Cold Temperatures Help With Weight Loss

A recent study showed that exposure to lower temperatures forces the body to burn more calories in order to keep a steady internal temperature of 98.6 degrees, with scientists suggesting that turning down the thermostat could help people shed pounds. What do you think?

Now we know why everyone in the Midwest looks like a model during the winter.


Siobhan Rey

Cold Temperatures Help With Weight Loss

Yeah, but it's more fun to be sitting next to a nice warm fire, chowing down on cheeseburgers.


Harry Minoff

Cold Temperatures Help With Weight Loss

Whether I'm sweating like a pig in the summer or freezing off the pounds in the winter, a slob like me really can't lose.


Fisher Hertel

Providence, RI Named Most Godless City In U.S.

A new study by the American Bible Society found that Providence, RI is the least Bible-minded place in the nation, whereas Chattanooga, TN was declared the most Bible-minded, based on the number of residents who say they read the Bible and believe in its accuracy. What do you think?

What the fuck do I have to do to please the American Bible Society?


Buck Sbragia

I wish someone would tell me where the most hot-dog-minded place in the nation is. I'd move there.


Catherine Morrone

Is that why no one said anything when I sneezed at Johnson & Wales University?


Sissy Buhler

Obama Vows To Raise Minimum Wage

President Obama delivered his annual State of the Union address last night, in which he most notably highlighted the income inequality gap in the United States and asked Congress to raise the federal minimum wage from $7.25 to $10.10 an hour. What do you think?

A minimum wage increase is long past due, but come on. Who needs to be making double figures every hour?


Tony DiDonato

Obama Vows To Raise Minimum Wage

It was classic Obama, the way he stood there and delivered a bunch of messages to Americans.


Harry Zane

Obama Vows To Raise Minimum Wage

If poor people had more money, they'd just blow it on buying things.


Tony Pettini

Study: Liberals Drink More Than Conservatives

A study published in the Journal of Wine Economics, which analyzed data from all 50 states for a period of 50 years, found that blue states drank more liquor and beer than states that leaned right. What do you think?

I wonder if it helps them live with what they did at Benghazi.


Milena Whitakker

Oh, that's just because liberals are sadder, happier, more social, less social, or bored.


Gary Call

So sue us if we're still celebrating the reelection of G. K. Butterfield of North Carolina's first congressional district.


Mary Pinza

Government To Pay You $3,000 To Get Flu

As part of an effort to create a better flu vaccine, the National Institutes of Health announced it will pay 100 individuals up to $3,000 each to volunteer to have the flu virus sprayed into their nostrils so that they become sick and then observe them over the next nine days in a hospital. What do you think?

Could they make it so I can eat the flu like a hamburger?


Charles Rivkin

Government To Pay You $3,000 To Get Flu

If you truly love getting sick like I do, you don't do it for the money.


Howard Arrighi

Government To Pay You $3,000 To Get Flu

Wow, the National Institutes of Health is loaded.


Curtis Leonard

Rutgers University Offers Course On Beyoncé

Rutgers University in New Jersey will offer a course titled Politicizing Beyoncé as part of its Department of Women's and Gender Studies, which will focus on the pop singer's career as a means of studying gender, race, and sexual politics. What do you think?

Good parents start teaching their kids Beyoncé when they are toddlers.


Helen Egan

I'm taking a pretty good Candice Bergen class at the community college.


Kevin Gomez

I won't be taking this. I got a 5 on the Beyoncé AP test.


Shane Hucker

Girl Scouts Introduce Gluten-Free Cookies

In an effort to better accommodate those with gluten intolerance, a number of Girl Scout troops around the country will sell a gluten-free version of their chocolate chip shortbread cookie. What do you think?

Aw, but my favorite part was that unique, gluteny taste.


Teresa Coffey

Looks like I owe my niece an apology for calling her a dirty fucking liar when she said this was happening.


Albert Dewese

Interesting. I should like to try one of these—what did you call them again? Cookies?


Steve Benson

Multilingual Coca-Cola Ad Spurs Backlash

A 60-second advertisement for Coca-Cola that ran during the Super Bowl, which featured people singing the song America the Beautiful in multiple languages, has spurred backlash on Twitter from users who called the spot un-American for not being entirely in English. What do you you think?


Roy Flatman

Football always sparks important national conversations.


Melanie Brown

That's what those other sounds were? Other languages?


Rachelle O'Quinn

Northeast Sees Rise Of Mutant 'Zombie' Bees

Beekeepers in the Northeast have reported seeing an uptick in mutant zombie bees that behave erratically due to being attacked by small, parasitic flies that latch onto them and lay eggs in their bodies, which then hatch and cause the bees to become disoriented and eventually die. What do you think?


Chris Dotrice

Shhh—Did you hear that? Buzzing. I definitely heard buzzing. And where's Debbie? I swear she was just here.


Moira Sweeney

I hope those beekeepers know you have to sting zombie bees in the head to fully kill them.


Dwier Ottley

Castaway Ate Turtles, Birds While Stranded 13 Months At Sea

A man calling himself Jose Salvador Alvarenga washed ashore in the Marshall Islands this week after allegedly being lost over a year at sea, explaining that he survived by eating birds and turtles and drinking his own urine, though authorities are still trying to verify his claims. What do you think?

Big deal. I ate turtles and drank my own urine for 13 months without ever stepping foot outside my house.


Maya Reid

See, this is exactly why I never go swimming without a knapsack full of hot dogs and Gatorade.


Frank Kieferle

Sometimes I wish I could get away from it all for a year and have authorities check up on my story.


Doug Dooley

Sochi The Most Expensive Winter Olympics Ever

Analysts estimate the cost of the Sochi Winter Olympics to be $50 billion and counting, with soaring costs attributed in part to high-priced security, the erection of 11 new venues, and Putin awarding outsized construction contracts to his business buddies. What do you think?


Raoul Menzies

Well, they're definitely going to have to go through with it now.


Krista Geddeis

You can't put a price on a child's smile.


Christine Muir

CVS To Become First Major Drugstore To Stop Selling Tobacco

Though standing to lose $2 billion in annual sales, the CVS Caremark company announced today that it would stop selling cigarettes and other tobacco products by Oct. 1 because they believe it's inconsistent with their goal of delivering health care to customers. What do you think?'

Thank God Rite Aid doesn't give a shit about me.


Cory Wheeler

Good. I don't want cigarettes sold in the same place I get my flu shot, Red Bull, and mini-donuts.


Kevin Sears

Whatever, Walgreens has better buckets of toy bulldozers, anyway.


Patricia Watson

American Idol' Star Clay Aiken Running For Congress

More than a decade after competing on American Idol, 35-year-old singer Clay Aiken announced that he is seeking the Democratic nomination for North Carolina's 2nd Congressional District seat. What do you think?


Sean Esdaile

You don't see that kind of political aspiration from those deadbeats on The Voice.


John Gaylor

The fact that he can't dance is going to haunt him no matter what he does.


Doug Moseley

Study Finds There Are Only 4 Human Emotions

Contrary to previous findings indicating that there are six classic human emotions, research published in the journal Current Biology found that when asked to analyze computer-generated facial animations, subjects only distinguished between four basic emotions. What do you think?


Kate Peckarovski

Are they sure? But what if someone is super deep, like my roommate?


Roger Gauthier

DMX To Fight George Zimmerman In Boxing Match

Although an official contract has yet to be signed, representatives for rapper DMX and former Florida neighborhood watchman George Zimmerman have confirmed that the two are negotiating with a celebrity boxing promoter to fight each other in a three-round pay-per-view match. What do you think?


Sam Berthiaume

Here's hoping we gain the same sense of closure and justice as when Screech fought Horshack.


Judy Rowsell

I hope Downton Abbey isn't on at the same time.


Michael Davis

Subway Removing Shoe Rubber Chemical From Sandwich Bread

Subway has said that it will begin removing the chemical azodicarbonamide from its sandwich bread after a prominent food blogger pointed out that the same additive is used in yoga mats and shoe rubber. What do you think?

Did Subway reveal which chemical they use to keep all their meats soaking wet?


Irene Long

I applaud the effort to keep shoes and bread separate, but it's a losing battle.


Chris Heitman

Great, now I have to go back to eating Reeboks stuffed with meat.


Amy Goode

'Dumb Starbucks' Opens In Downtown L.A.

A mysterious new coffee shop opened in Los Angeles this weekend calling itself Dumb Starbucks, drawing hordes of curious customers who were told the café is a functional coffee shop legally classified as an art gallery in order to avoid violating Starbucks' copyright. What do you think?

The height of artistic expression is calling things dumb.


Matthew Adams

'Dumb Starbucks' Opens In Downtown L.A.

You mean all you have to do to steal something is put the word 'dumb' in front of it?


Tony O'Donovan

'Dumb Starbucks' Opens In Downtown L.A.


John Rohr

Celebrating The 50th Anniversary Of The Beatles On Ed Sullivan

This week marks the 50th anniversary of the Beatles' first appearance on The Ed Sullivan Show, a milestone in American pop culture that fans across the nation are celebrating with reenactment concerts, television specials, tribute performances, and more. What do you think?

It's about time the Beatles got recognized for their accomplishments.


Noel O'Regan

I'm just relieved baby boomers managed to find something from their youth that they can keep celebrating.


Wayne Halfpenny

100,000 Condoms Distributed To Olympic Athletes

In an effort to prevent athletes from contracting STDs during the Winter Olympics, the International Olympic Committee has distributed 100,000 condoms to the 7,650 competitors bunking in the Olympic Village, or about 13 condoms per person. What do you think?

100,000 condoms for two weeks? That's more than I go through in a whole year!


Glenn London

That seems like a lot of pressure to put on athletes to have sex with each other.


Cathy Rochin

Fine, but I just can't imagine how two weeks will be enough time for them to ask people out, go on a few dates, agree to start committed relationships, get married, and then after much prayer and discussion, consummate their unions.


Brian Walker

Shirley Temple Dies At 85

Shirley Temple Black, one of the most famous child stars in Hollywood history who was featured in dozens of Depression-era films and later built a political career as a delegate to the United Nations and ambassador to Ghana, died yesterday at age 85. What do you think?

Let me get this straight: Shirley Temple Black—the former ambassador to Ghana—used to be a child star?


Cynthia Roberts

Shirley Temple Dies At 85

She'll live on as the perfect role model for all us stage moms prematurely pushing our daughters into show business.


Declan Butler

Shirley Temple Dies At 85

Shirley Temple Black? I didn't know she got married. Good for her!


Mary Hadland

Lean In, Getty Images Alter Portrayal Of Women In Stock Photos

In order to promote positive and realistic images of women, Sheryl Sandberg announced that her nonprofit organization Lean In will team up with Getty Images to remove stock photos that perpetuate female stereotypes and replace them with photos of women as surgeons, soldiers, hunters, and other professions. What do you think?

Finally, the internet will be clean of images that degrade women.


Roman Edelman

Yes, that seems like a nice, easy task that women can do.


Nick Gold

As long as the photos of women climbing the corporate ladder are shot from a low enough angle.


Lynn McGill

FBI Offering $10,000 For Help In Curbing Laser Strikes

The FBI has announced a new rewards program offering $10,000 to anyone who can provide information leading to the arrest of individuals who point handheld lasers at aircraft, incidents known as laser strikes or lasing. What you think?

No way. Do you have any idea what laser gangs do to snitches?


Rob Deery

The Constitution clearly states that I can be as big a prick as I want.


Morgan Glickman

I just point my finger at the pilot. They know.


Dylan Newman

Teens More Stressed Than Adults

A new survey by the American Psychological Association found that teenagers feel more overwhelmed, depressed, and generally stressed out than adults, with 27 percent of teens reporting that they feel extreme stress versus 21 percent of adults. What do you think?

Yeah, it must be hard to have all of your financial responsibilities taken care of and your whole life ahead of you.


Brett McCormack

Teens More Stressed Than Adults

Teens need to calm down and remember that it gets better for a tiny fraction of them.


Carrie Johnson

Teens More Stressed Than Adults


Jason Ross

Comcast To Acquire Time Warner Cable For $45 Billion

The nation's biggest cable television operator Comcast announced this morning that they have agreed to buy number-two provider Time Warner Cable for $45.2 billion in stock, bringing their total customer base to more than 30 million. What do you think?

Shut up, no they didn't. Don't just lie to my face like that.


Rebecca LaFlure

You mean I can get all of the blazing-fast speeds of Comcast coupled with the dependability of Time Warner Cable?


Ben Harries

Does the FCC really want one cable provider to have such a major influence in the last few remaining years of people needing a cable provider?


David Thurman

Study: Crocodiles Can Climb Trees

A new study published in the journal Herpetology Notes found that tree climbing is a common behavior among crocodiles on multiple continents, with some crocodiles able to climb vertically up a tree as long as there are branches to use as footholds. What do you think?


Patrick Kearns

Study: Crocodiles Can Climb Trees

I've seen pictures of this. They climb up the palm tree, tie a hammock to it, put on sunglasses, and then take a nap while sipping a rum drink.


Karyn Long

Study: Crocodiles Can Climb Trees


Jake Edelman

Facebook Adds More Than 50 New Gender Options

Facebook announced yesterday that it will no longer limit users' choices to male or female when identifying gender, instead offering a new customizable option allowing them to choose from over 50 preset terms and pick their preferred pronoun. What do you think?

It's time to stop coddling people by showing them respect.


Maggie Birnbaum

Could they hold off on that a bit? I'm trying to help my mom understand Facebook, and this really won't help.


James Armstrong

Is it okay if I still just choose 'male'?


Maggie Olson

Study: Half Of U.S. Adults Use Phones For Sexting

According to a recent study from the security software company McAfee, more than half of U.S. adults have used their cell phones to send or receive sexually suggestive content including videos, photos, emails, and text messages. What do you think?

These sick individuals adding spice to their healthy sex lives should be ashamed of themselves!


Ben Warren

If sexting is so common then why does my autocorrect keep turning 'throbbing cock' into 'trombone Xochitl'?


Michael Milligan

I miss the simpler times before phones when you just flashed a person on the street you liked.


Deirdre Corcoran

Study: Double Dating Ignites Passion In Relationships

According to recent research, going on double dates increases romance between couples because sharing intimate thoughts and feelings with other pairs helps reignite the passion of early dating and brings people closer together. What do you think?

It's true. Nothing's hotter than trying to divvy up a restaurant bill.


Johnny Kalder

Yes, my penis was rock hard the entire time my wife and I were out with Tom and Linda last week.


Mark Readman

I've tried that! I've tried everything! The spark is just gone! Oh, God! Janet, what happened to us?


Finn Corcoran

Study: Wives More Educated Than Husbands In U.S.

New research from the Pew Institute found that for the first time in 50 years, wives in the U.S.  are more educated than their husbands, a trend sociologists attribute in part to women graduating  from college at higher rates than men. What do you think?

Thank goodness I still make more than my wife, though.


Jake Halverson

If my wife ever develops the upper body strength to open difficult jars, I'm out on my ass.


Jenna Freeney

You see, that's the difference between men and women: the graduation rates from college that you just mentioned.


David Belcher

U.S. Wins Its First Olympic Gold Medal In Ice Dancing

U.S. Olympic skating pair Meryl Davis and Charlie White took home the gold medal in Ice Dancing on Monday with their free-skate performance of Scheherazade, the first time the United States has won a gold medal in the event. What do you think?

This is just the pick-me-up we needed after Iraq and Afghanistan.


Sean Glover

See, people say the Winter Olympics has limited appeal, but then you get an interpretive ballroom ice-dance version of a 19th-century symphony about an Arabian fable, and who can't get on board?


Lilly Baker

My bookie really took a bath on this one.


Bob Mayall

Taco Bell To Begin Taking Smartphone Orders

Taco Bell announced its plan to launch a new mobile app allowing customers to order their food on their smartphones, which functions by using the phone's GPS to determine how close the customer is to the pickup location. What do you think?

Could I also share each order to my social networks? I think my followers deserve that.


Jenny McKillop

But part of the Taco Bell experience is waiting the three minutes for your food to be ready.


Don Kember

Oh, I always know how far I am from a Taco Bell.


Angela Ward

Barbie Appears On Cover Of 'Sports Illustrated' Swimsuit Issue

Sports Illustrated celebrated the 50th anniversary of its popular swimsuit issue by featuring Barbie in a one-piece, inciting backlash from critics arguing that the cover promotes the objectification and sexualization of women. What do you think?

This is horrible. Putting Barbie in a swimsuit completely undermines her standing as a feminist icon.


Gordon Scouler

Ooh, now I can get my Bryce Harper cover issue and make them kiss!


Colin Fisher

It's time we stop viewing dolls as mere objects and start realizing they're incredible, living creatures with minds of their own.


Jason Carpenter

Loneliness Raises Risk Of Early Death

According to a new study by researchers at the University of Chicago, people age 55 and over who regularly feel lonely and isolated have a 14 percent higher risk of early death, partly because loneliness can lead to less restful sleep, high blood pressure, and diminished sense of well-being. What do you think?


Ruby Engels

Loneliness Raises Risk Of Early Death

This just tells us what we already knew: Practically anything kills the elderly.


Grant Marksman

Loneliness Raises Risk Of Early Death

So I should put my dad in a rest home? Got it. Thanks!


Don Woodvine

Poll: 86% Of NFL Players Okay With Gay Teammate

ESPN conducted a poll of current NFL players regarding their thoughts on having a gay teammate and found that out of the 51 respondents, 86 percent don't care about their teammates' sexual orientation. What do you think?

The NFL is basically Europe in a lot of ways.


Marybeth Glover

Wow, it takes strength to stand up and say 'I don't care' like that.


Griffin Schofield

Man, the brain damage has really gotten to them.


Martin Conwill

Nestlé Recalls Hot Pockets

Nestlé is voluntarily recalling two varieties of its popular Hot Pockets microwaveable turnovers, Philly Steak and Cheese and Croissant Crust Philly Steak and Cheese, because they may contain meat from diseased and unsound animals. What do you think?

I wasn't surprised to hear this about the Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pocket—but the Croissant Crust Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pocket, too?


David Arrowood

Nestlé Recalls Hot Pockets

I guess their standards for Hot Pockets are a lot higher than mine.


Carrie Abaya

Nestlé Recalls Hot Pockets

But will they still be selling some of the borderline ones in a bargain bin?


Cory Deakin

Study: Best, Most Important Memories Made Before Age 25

A recent study on retirees found that most people make their most important or life-changing memories before age 25, with subjects listing life transitions such as marriage and having children as their most important moments in life. What do you think?

Now I don't feel so bad for doing jack shit after age 25.


Mikaela Lewis

I'm purposely holding off loving people so I have something to look forward to.


Aaron Campelia

Cats, Dogs May See Things Invisible To Human Eye

A new study has found that cats, dogs, and many other mammals are able to detect UV light, which may allow them to see many things invisible to humans, such as urine marks and certain color patterns on flowers. What do you think?

Are they really things we can't see, or things we don't want to see?


Jason Bowyer

Aw man, I wish I had the power to see more urine.


Matthew Phillips

World's Most Wanted Drug Kingpin Captured

Mexican drug lord Joaquin El Chapo Guzman, head of the powerful Sinaloa cartel, was captured this weekend by a coalition of Mexican and American police forces following a 13-year manhunt. What do you think?

That's okay; my buddy Steve's got plenty of shit if you need anything.


Carrie-Anne Reisman

El Chapo' sounds so over the top. Why can't he just go by 'Chapo'?


Barry Merkert

When it comes to international criminals, America always gets its man after a decade or so.


Gail Benedict

Taco Bell Introduces Breakfast Menu

In an effort to compete with McDonald's and other fast food restaurants offering breakfast, Taco Bell has announced that it will begin serving a breakfast menu starting on March 27 with items such as the Waffle Taco and the A.M. Crunchwrap. What do you think?


Neil Patimkin

Taco Bell Introduces Breakfast Menu

I just don't know if they'll be able to pull off that authentic waffle taco flavor you find in Mexico.


Max Scapelle

Taco Bell Introduces Breakfast Menu

When are they gonna finally come out with a burger?


Ali Klugman

Amtrak Experimenting With Writers Residencies

Amtrak has begun offering a small number of writers residencies allowing participants to take free round-trip train rides for the purpose of writing, though company officials have stressed that plans to roll out the program on a larger scale remain tentative. What do you think?

I'm an accountant, but I bet I could fool Amtrak into a free ride by wearing a turtleneck and looking sullenly out the window.


Richard Shelle

Oh boy, I hope I see Joyce Carol Oates on the way to Philadelphia!


Chris Gorman

Yeah, but for proofreading, nothing beats Greyhound.


Ray MacGraw

CDC: Obesity Down 43% Among Babies

New data from the CDC revealed that obesity rates among children aged 2 to 5 dropped 43 percent over the past decade, which researchers attribute in part to children consuming less sugar, more mothers breastfeeding, and policies aimed at helping kids stay fit. What do you think?

That's all right; they have their whole lives to get fat.


Cooper Swain

CDC: Obesity Down 43% Among Babies

It could be all that stuff, or maybe these babies just finally got their lives together.


Leslie Zarilla

CDC: Obesity Down 43% Among Babies

Ugh, now it's going to feel like such a lie when I pretend I want to eat my baby.


Jackson Cummings

Pentagon Proposes Scaling Back Army To Pre-WWII Levels

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel proposed a new Pentagon budget that would shrink the U.S. Army to its smallest size in 74 years and retire an entire fleet of A-10 Warthog jets, cuts he said would allow for a more versatile, technologically advanced force. What do you think?

Yeah, we did things just right in the run-up to World War II.


Brenda Sockaloe

Our enemies who wanted America to have a more versatile, technologically advanced fighting force have won!


Harry McKee

I give it 10 months before Hagel comes crawling back to the Flying Warthogs.


Charles Whitehead

Study: 'Tetris' Can Help Curb Food, Cigarette Cravings

According to a new study, playing Tetris can help curb cravings for food, cigarettes, alcohol, and other temptations by as much as 25 percent because the visual stimulation provided by the game gives users an essential boost in willpower. What do you think?

So that's why gamers always look so fit and healthy.


Rob Wexler

Oh man, I haven't played that game since I was a little kid. But it's true; I barely smoked at all then.


Marie Jaffe

When I need the rush of a four-row elimination, nothing else will do.


Dana Rogers

People' To Stop Publishing Photos Of Celeb Kids

Citing the need to curb aggressive paparazzi tactics, People magazine announced that they would no longer be publishing photos of celebrity children taken without the parents' consent. What do you think?

Could they at least tell us when and where the celebs' kids will be so we can go look at them for ourselves?


Cameron Dodd

What a load of horseshit. Those kids knew what they were getting into when they were conceived by celebrities.


Asher LaMarca

I just hope those kids will get enough attention somehow.


Julia Gerard

FDA Proposes Altering Nutrition Labels

The FDA is proposing significant changes to nutrition labels on food packaging, such as emphasizing calorie count by visually enlarging that number and recalculating portion sizes to more accurately reflect how much people eat in one serving. What do you think?

Wouldn't it be easier if they just added an exclamation mark after the number of calories?


Michael Barnett

FDA Proposes Altering Nutrition Labels

Ooh, if they change the serving portions from three down to one, that'll leave extra room for dessert.


Gene Yester

FDA Proposes Altering Nutrition Labels

Perfect. If I see the calorie count in bigger type, I'll definitely avoid all the food I can't stop eating.


National Milk Industry Drops "Got Milk"

Two decades after launching it's famous "Got Milk"" campaign featuring celebrities with milk mustaches

the national milk industry has phased out the iconic slogan in favor of the tagline ""Milk Life

which officials say will put emphasis on milk's nutritional content. What do you think?"

This shall be the milk industry's Waterloo.


National Milk Industry Drops "Got Milk"

I don't mind, just as long as an ad campaign exists to remind me to intake fluids.


National Milk Industry Drops "Got Milk"


Gabrielle Strause

Obese Americans Get Less Than 4 Hours Of Exercise Per Year

According to a new study from researchers at the University of Alabama, the average obese American gets fewer than 4 hours of vigorous exercise per year, with obese men averaging 3.6 hours of vigorous exercise per year and obese women getting about an hour. What do you think?

They're missing out on one of the great joys of life: bragging about your exercise routine.


Royce McGowan

Yeah, but that's not their thing. Partying and doing cannonballs into swimming pools is their thing.


Dustin Peerce

Thank god I'm a lean, mean, 6-hours-of-exercise-per-year machine.


Karen Mullen

12 Years A Slave' Wins Best Picture At Oscars

Beating out eight other films including American Hustle and Gravity, the historical drama 12 Years A Slave took home Best Picture at the 86th Academy Awards last night, the first time in history the honor has been given to a film with a black director. What do you think?

I thought the whole 'slavery is wrong' message was a little heavy-handed.


Peter Tillinger

I'm sorry, but they just don't make movies like they used to. Although, I don't really know. I'm just assuming they have more modern equipment these days.


Alex Burge

History will judge 2 Guns far more favorably.


Dan Gill

New Theme Park To Feature Model Of Noah's Ark

Creation Museum president Ken Ham has announced that thanks to a surge in donations after his debate with Bill Nye, his Christian ministry has raised enough money to begin building a $73 million theme park called Ark Encounter featuring a 150-foot-long model of Noah's Ark. What do you think?

Finally, a theme park that shares my contempt for science.


Julie Courbold

Seventy-three million dollars, just like the Bible says.


Jeff Borten

It's about time someone commemorated the time God tried to kill us all.


Glen Archer

Pope Francis Drops F-Bomb During Vatican Blessing

While delivering his weekly blessing on Sunday, Pope Francis accidentally pronounced the Italian word caso, meaning example, as cazzo, a word commonly translated as fuck. What do you think?

Alas, if only the Lord judged us by what we attempt to say.


Ellen Close

Now the big question is: Can he learn to forgive himself?


Jim O'Rourke

Microsoft Introducing Siri Competitor 'Cortana'

Video leaked online this week revealed that Microsoft is developing a competitor to voice-activated smartphone virtual assistants like Apple's Siri and Google Now tentatively called Cortana, which will appear as an animated circle icon. What do you think?

Good, I need a soprano for my Virtual Assistant quartet.


Tom Hamilton

Every time you think Microsoft is done innovating, there they are with another brilliant, unprecedented feature like this.


Martha Drimmer

I had a falling out with that bitch Siri, so hopefully this Cortana bitch will be nicer.


Alex Gallagher

Study Links Meat, Cheese To Early Death

According to a new study, people between the ages of 50 and 65 with diets high in animal protein like meat and cheese were 74 percent more likely to die prematurely than those getting their protein from plant-based sources like beans and nuts. What do you think?

It's sad to think of all those elderly vegans with no one left to condescend to.


Beth Forrest

Study Links Meat, Cheese To Early Death

What are you trying to say? That there's some sort of link between meat, cheese, and early death?


Arthur Rogerson

Study Links Meat, Cheese To Early Death


Meg Douglas

American Airlines Drops Bereavement Fares

American Airlines has announced that as a result of its merger with US Airways, it will end its policy of offering low-cost bereavement fares to customers flying across country due to a death in the family. What do you think?

I have a hard time believing an airline would try to line their coffers at the expense of their customers.


Stuart Latzen

No! American Airlines' policies are perfect just the way they are.


Tom Krakowski

New 'Normal Barbie' Doll Has Proportions Of Average Woman

In an effort to prevent young girls from developing a poor body image, artist Nickolay Lamm is seeking to crowdfund production of Lammily, a doll with the body proportions of an average 19-year-old. What do you think?

Ugh. Don't let her borrow any of Barbie's clothes. She'll stretch them out.


Christine Eckhouse

I don't care what the new standard of beauty is as long as girls feel pressured to meet it.


Marc Nussbaum

Maybe if you base your life around a doll you deserve what you get.


Ellen Foley

Facebook Adds Restrictions To Curb Illegal Gun Sales

Responding to criticism that it's not doing enough to prevent people from illegally buying and  selling guns through the site, Facebook has announced that it will actively delete posts trying to  circumvent gun laws and educate violators about gun retail. What do you think?

Great. Now I'm restricted to buying guns at any hundreds of other websites, gun shows, and gun stores.


J.J. Prewitt

I've got three Crimson Trace SW J revolvers—$299.99 each. Find me if you're interested.


David Levine

I just hope they haven't forgotten about all those awful breastfeeding photos.


Fred Mundy

Massachusetts Bans Upskirt Photos After Outcry

Due to the controversy surrounding their ruling earlier this week that criminal voyeurism didn't apply to a man who took photos up a woman's skirt on the MBTA, the Massachusetts Legislature voted yesterday to outlaw the act of upskirting. What do you think?


Mary Arkin

Now public transit can finally return to being a safe, clean environment for women and children.


Matt Bates

Now how am I supposed to learn what female genitalia look like?


Ken Lohman

Microsoft Ending Support For Windows XP

Twelve years after introducing the operating system, which now runs on nearly 30 percent of all desktops, Microsoft has announced that starting on April 8 it will no longer be offering security updates or customer support for the software. What do you think?

Does this mean I'll need to re-install Zoo Tycoon?


Lesley Welch

Microsoft Ending Support For Windows XP

You've got to take the training wheels off sometime.


Anton Cho

Microsoft Ending Support For Windows XP

Not if I have anything to do with it, which I don't, so it sounds like Microsoft is probably going to make this happen.


Dennis Zager

Young E-Cigarette Users Less Likely To Quit Smoking

According to a new study from researchers at the University of California San Francisco, middle and high school students who use electronic cigarettes are more likely to smoke real cigarettes and be heavier smokers than those who don't. What do you think?

What's wrong with kids today? I never needed any fancy electronic cigarettes to get me to smoke more.


Bob Durand

That's why I made my daughter smoke a whole battery pack of e-cigs to turn her off the habit.


Justine Schneider

I told my kid they were bad for him, but did he listen? No, he just kept blowing not-smoke in my face.


Hank Finney

Study: Smartphones Make Parents Ignore Kids

According to a study from Boston Medical Center, parents who used their mobile devices to text, email, or play games while they were around their kids were more likely to ignore or have negative interactions with them. What do you think?

I may not be able to afford a smartphone, but I ignore my kids good as any other dad.


Doug Scott

That's why I bought my 3-year-old his own iPad to stare at. Now everyone's happy.


Bridget Yelchin

I ignore my son because he's a miserable disappointment, but to each his own, I suppose.


Milo Baumgartner

Edward Snowden Speaks At SXSW

Appearing over streaming video from an undisclosed location in Russia, NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden spoke at the South By Southwest Interactive Festival yesterday as part of a panel hosted by the ACLU. What do you think?

Ah man, I was hoping to see some up-and-coming whistleblowers.


Christian Dampf

Edward Snowden Speaks At SXSW

Bold move by Snowden—But is it bold enough for SXSW's group of innovators, game-changers, and movers and shakers?


Rachel O'Bannon

Edward Snowden Speaks At SXSW

He was alright, but I preferred Dum Dum Girls.


Cameron Griffin

Colorado Earns $2 Million In Tax Revenue From Legal Pot

The Colorado Department of Revenue announced that during the state's first month of legal recreational marijuana sales, it collected $2 million in taxes from about $14 million in total sales. What do you think?

Who knew selling drugs could be so lucrative?


Kelly Copelin

If they made that much off of marijuana, imagine how much they could make by taxing other stuff.


Robert Welch

It's always nice to hear about states. How's Kansas doing?


Erick Besser

Study: Premarital Cohabitation Doesn't Raise Risk Of Divorce

Contradicting previous studies claiming premarital cohabitation leads to divorce, research from the University of North Carolina has found that living together before marriage has little or no effect on marriage success rates. What do you think?

I prefer the surprise of finding out that a spouse is impossible to live with.


Jane Kurant

Did they happen to mention how much it increases your chances of going to hell forever, though?


Lucille Flaherty

Elephants Can Distinguish Human Voices By Age, Ethnicity

According to a new study, elephants can discern people of different ages, sexes, and ethnic groups based on the humans' voices, a skill researchers say helps the animals remember threatening groups. What do you think?

Big deal. I can pick out people of different ethnicities just by looking at them.


Scott Breuninger

As cool as that is, I'd advise them to just go ahead and bolt at the sound of any human voice.


Carl Lackey

Keith Richards Writing Children's Book

Keith Richards has announced that he is co-authoring a new children's book called Gus & Me: The Story of My Granddad and My First Guitar, which will recount the Rolling Stones guitarist's first music lessons with his grandfather. What do you think?

That's great! My 6-year-old loves the Stones.


Jonathan Hart

Keith Richards Writing Children's Book

All my favorite books are about musicians practicing.


Mary Litman

Keith Richards Writing Children's Book


Denise Calhoun

Number Of Adults On ADHD Meds Reaches New High

According to a new report, the number of adults taking prescription medications for ADHD rose 50 percent between 2008 and 2012, leading many to question whether doctors are overprescribing the meds. What do you think?

Thank God those doctors started prescribing more. I hated stealing Adderall from my kids.


Richard Alden

You try working at my job for 15 minutes straight without going on YouTube and then tell me adults shouldn't take ADHD meds.


Eric Sonderman

I think once you've graduated college, you've earned the right not to be so focused.


Alex Yassukovich

Mark Zuckerberg Calls Obama To Complain About Spying

In an open letter he posted this week, Mark Zuckerberg wrote that he called President Obama to express his concerns about the NSA's mass surveillance programs, which the Facebook founder considers a huge threat to the future of the internet. What do you think?

Has Zuckerberg tried changing the settings under that little lock icon in the corner?


Stephen Amoroso

Obama let me down too, but you don't see me doing anything about it.


Delia Farrell

Actually, I kind of like knowing someone is reading my Facebook posts.


Sam Dodd

Americans Spent $55.7 Billion On Pets Last Year

According to a new report, U.S. consumer spending on pet food, pet toys, grooming, and other pet-related expenses reached a record $55.7 billion last year, which researchers attribute in part to Americans' increasing desire to pamper their pets. What do you think?

What does this say about our priorities in this country? That we're super-compassionate?


Elliott Perlich

We Americans love our pets, cars, food, electronics, sex, and clothes.


Leigh Allman

That's a ridiculous amount to spend on a pet. Unless, of course, they're a very, very good boy.


Jim Patric

Guinness Pulls Sponsorship Of St. Patrick's Day Parade

Guinness announced that it is withdrawing its sponsorship of the New York City St. Patrick's Day parade in protest over the organizers' policy of disallowing gay veterans from openly marching in the parade. What do you think?

Darn. Nothing ruins a parade like having less advertising.


Jason Raynor

I just wish every company had the guts to stand with the majority of the popular opinion at the last possible moment like that.


Jennifer Cates

Is there at least enough time for a more homophobic brewing company to step in?


Henry Mills

Happy Birthday, Patrick Duffy

Today is acting legend Patrick Duffy's 65th birthday. What do you think?

Sixty-five years on this blue rock and all he has to show for it is the awe and admiration of billions. Not bad, Mr. Duffy!


Jana Purcell

Happy Birthday, Patrick Duffy

Ah, the Patrick Duffy New Year. So we're in 65 A.P.D now?


Dave Hartman

Happy Birthday, Patrick Duffy

You mean The Duffster? I'm just kidding; that may not actually be one of his nicknames. But it could be—we don't know. That's what's so great about life.


William Lets

NASA: Industrial Societies Headed For Collapse

A new study funded by NASA posits that modern industrial society is headed toward extinction due to humans rapidly depleting the earth's resources, which will soon lead to inequality-induced famine. What do you think?

I turn the water off while I'm brushing my teeth, so the blood's not on my hands.


Michael Nash

Hmm, seems like the space guys need to mind their own fucking business and focus on space.


Gregg Walker

Anti-Vaccine Movement Leads To Rise In Measles, Whooping Cough

According to the CDC, formerly eradicated diseases like measles, mumps, rubella, and whooping cough are making a comeback due to anti-vaxxers, parents who refuse to vaccinate their kids because they erroneously believe vaccines contain toxins that cause autism and more. What do you think?

Any disease that was good enough for the greatest generation is good enough for my kid.


Merrill McCray

These pro-vaccine moms are so dramatic. All these diseases will do is make kids a little sick and then kill them.


Ron Lasater

It's just nice to see a grassroots movement actually accomplish something.


Jasper Pilgreen

New 'Star Wars' Film Set 30 Years After 'Return Of The Jedi'

Disney CEO Bob Iger announced yesterday that the new Star Wars film will be set 30 years after the conclusion of Return Of The Jedi, following up news from the film's official website that it will feature new young leads along with some very familiar faces. What do you think?

Fine with me as long as they find a way to clarify that at the beginning of the film.


Chad Mouser

I'm as excited as anyone, but come on—it's just a movie. Did they really have to build an entire website for it?


Sari Ramswell

Nice! I hope it all takes place at some sort of reunion dance.


Arthur McCrary

Facebook Unveils Facial Recognition Technology

Researchers at Facebook previewed their new program called DeepFace, which uses 3D technology to match two images of the same person with 97 percent accuracy, paving the way for features that allow users to more easily tag pictures of their friends. What do you think?

Thank God. Now I can finally stop remembering what my friends look like.


Dan Skoy

So a machine could really look at a photo and say, 'Hey, it's that chick from Brian's thing'?


Marlene Sanger

There Facebook goes again, doing something for people with friends.


Rachel Lettvin

Half Of Americans Believe In Medical Conspiracy Theories

According to a new survey, nearly half of Americans believe in at least one medical conspiracy theory, among them that the FDA is hiding disease cures under pressure from drug companies and that health officials are concealing the fact that cell phones cause cancer. What do you think?

As if any information could be concealed or doctored in exchange for money or political power.


George Lewis

How're we supposed to know what to believe when we're presented with decades of peer-reviewed research supporting the consensus of the scientific community and then my aunt posts the exact opposite thing on Facebook?


Troy Sheeran

That's ridiculous. Our government doesn't care if we live or die.


Mark Rhodes

Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand

The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest price ever because domestic manufacturers have been unable to meet the demand for cheese by Chinese purchasers. What do you think?

People laughed when I bought all that cheddar cheese. Well, who's laughing now?


Colleen Clapton

I knew this day would come. I didn't know it would involve cheese or China in any way, but still. I knew.


Philip Sylbert

Wait until they find out about smoked Gouda. The entire agricultural marketplace is going to collapse.


William Frank

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage

A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping enough and sleeping erratic hours, can result in an irreversible loss of brain neurons. What do you think?

Great. Now I'll be up all night thinking about this.


Lorey Ryan

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage

Sure, but what you lose in neurons you make up for with the implication that you work harder than everyone else and are superior in every way.


David Burrit

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage


Richard Hartlein

Male Babysitters Earn More Than Female Babysitters

A new report by the economics blog Priceonomics found that even though less than 3 percent of all babysitters are men, they earn a higher average wage than their female counterparts, with male babysitters earning an average of $15 an hour as opposed to $14.50 per hour for women. What do you think?

At least with a boy I don't have to worry about my family's secrets being exploited in some Babysitters Club book.


Jennifer Shoop

I'm surprised being more decisive in emergency situations is only worth an extra 50 cents an hour.


Edward Connifer

Women just need to be better at asking for what they want. Unless it's an equal salary, that is.


Martin Gallanter

Hawaii Police Defend Prostitution Loophole

Following a move by Hawaiian legislators to tighten anti-prostitution laws, police are defending a legal exemption that allows undercover officers to have sex with prostitutes. What do you think?

Seems fine to me. Normally I'd be worried about power abuses, but these are cops we're talking about.


Dustin Burton

Aw, man. My lame boss never encourages me to have sex with prostitutes.


Cecily Insbrooke

Sometimes the government just gets it right.


Mary Gillebrand

New Technology Creates Mug Shots From DNA

Scientists have announced the creation of a new technology capable of producing 3D models of people's faces by examining their DNA, a tool experts say could help police create mug shots of criminals from DNA evidence taken from a crime scene. What do you think?

I'll miss the soft eyes and gentle hues that a pencil drawing can highlight in a criminal.


Mark Hammond

Call me old-fashioned, but you don't need some fancy modeling computer for mug shots. Just describe the criminal's DNA structure to a sketch artist and they'll do the rest.


Jasper Stout

Can they make me a new mug shot? I've always hated mine.


Cameron Griffith

Girl Sells Record 18,000 Boxes Of Girl Scout Cookies

Oklahoma middle school student Katie Francis broke the national Girl Scout cookie sales record by selling more than 18,000 boxes in seven weeks, attributing her success to asking everyone she sees to buy a box. What do you think?

Always good to see a budding capitalist sociopath be a girl for a change.


Derek Rankin

She didn't sell cookies. Cookies sell themselves.


Ryan Varnson

Facebook Spends $2 Billion On Virtual Reality Company

CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced yesterday that Facebook has agreed to pay $2 billion for Oculus VR, a small startup company that makes virtual reality headsets, which could possibly allow Facebook users to see their friends in a 3D environment. What do you think?

I was just thinking about how I could get a little more Facebook in my life.


Lesley O'Leary

That Mark Zuckerberg really seems to be into technology.


Willi Harper

Study: Video Games Make Kids More Aggressive

Contradicting previous research indicating that video games don't negatively affect children's behavior, a new study has found that playing games makes kids react to real-world situations in hostile and aggressive ways. What do you think?

The question is, are violent teens more drawn to these games? And if so, which games and how much do they cost? I'm scrambling to find something for my son's birthday.


Marilynne Britz

My child was an angry and confused boy long before we got him an Xbox.


David Robertson

I can see this being true for a violent, angry game like Call Of Duty, but what about more subtle, poetic works of art such as Gears Of War?


Clark Chamberlain

New 'Star Trek' Beer Released

A Canadian beer company has announced that it will produce a beer called Warnog, a Star Trek–themed beer that will serve as a follow-up to the popular Vulcan Ale they released last year. What do you think?

Truly a testament to Gene Roddenberry's pioneering vision for beer.


Christina Kies

New 'Star Trek' Beer Released

What will they think of next? Maybe a different type of Star Trek beer.


Thomas Carbone

New 'Star Trek' Beer Released

It's pretty easy to make stuff based on other stuff, isn't it?


Catalynn Jacobs

Gone With The Wind' Prequel In The Works

Publishing house Simon & Schuster announced they will release a prequel to Margaret Mitchell's epic historical novel Gone with the Wind called Ruth's Journey, which will tell the story of Scarlett O'Hara's servant Mammy. What do you think?

Does the world really need another book?


Thomas Ingebretson

Good. I've always wondered what the fuck Mammy's deal was.


Grant Herlihey

Study: Women Fake Orgasms To Increase Sexual Arousal

A new study has found that in addition to faking orgasms for the purpose of protecting a partner's ego and ending sex, many women fake orgasms in order to increase sexual arousal so they can work themselves up to an actual orgasm. What do you think?

Women do the hottest stuff when you leave them sexually unsatisfied.


Daniel Alleway

If I'm not needed then why am I wasting my time doing this?


Matthew Aronson

Women who can't even orgasm through intercourse alone must have something really wrong with them.


Jessica Goodwin

Apple To Diversify Emojis

Responding to criticism that their emojis aren't diverse enough, Apple has announced that they are working with programmers to add more multicultural and racially diverse faces to its 845-icon catalogue of emojis. What do you think?

Reducing different cultures to single icons is a big step forward.


Glenn Burkley

Apple To Diversify Emojis

Good. Sometimes I just want to tell my friends I'm laughing like a Cambodian.


Michael Kirkland

Apple To Diversify Emojis

I just hope there's no one on the internet who would use these new emojis in a racist message.


Belinda Montgomery

Eating Small Meals Throughout Day Doesn't Help Weight Loss

Contradicting the theory that eating small meals throughout the day is effective for weight loss, a new study has found that eating frequent small portions of food doesn't actually help people lose weight any more than those who eat three meals per day. What do you think?

My trick is to eat two small meals, then a bigger meal, then a small one, then three regular-sized ones, and then a really, really tiny one.


Evan Cartwright

But I had become so disciplined at eating whenever.


Grace Harper

Twitter Replaces 'Retweet' With 'Share'

According to reports from users, the microblogging site Twitter quietly experimented this weekend with swapping the popular retweet function for a share button, a move that may be part of ongoing tests to make the site more engaging for users. What do you think?

One day I'll tell my grandkids about the crap Twitter pulled that one March weekend in '14.


Dan Weisel

Twitter Replaces 'Retweet' With 'Share'

Oh, come on. I finally just learned what a retweet is, and now I gotta try and figure out what this other word they just made up means?


Andrew Greene

Twitter Replaces 'Retweet' With 'Share'

How dare they try to run their company how they see fit.


Gayle Rauser

Jeopardy' Turns 50

This week marks the 50th anniversary of Jeopardy, the popular NBC trivia show known for its trademark rule of requiring contestants to phrase their answers in the form of a question. What do you think?

The answer is, 'happy birthday.' Did I do that right?


Mike Harbaugh

Jeopardy' Turns 50

I have this little trick where I tape an episode, memorize the answers, and watch it later with my wife. Then I intentionally answer all the questions wrong so she never catches on.


Caleb McGowan

Jeopardy' Turns 50


Brandon Jacobs

NASA Asks Public To Vote On New Spacesuit

NASA has announced that it wants the public's input to select the cover layer design for its next-generation spacesuit called the Z-2, which will eventually replace the bulky white designs of current models. What do you think?

Voting online? The future really has arrived!


Miguel Arroz

All right, I'll help out. But NASA is going to owe me big time.


Krystal Warner

Are you sure they want us to decide? We're idiots.


Brent Cronin

Study: Popularity Can Raise Risk Of Being Bullied

Contradicting the common belief that bullies primarily target social outcasts, a new study has found that children who move up the social ladder to become more popular can also experience bullying. What do you think?

It cut like a knife when kids used to mock my nice clothes and rugged good looks.


Marcia Krister

What about the forgotten kids in the middle? Isn't anyone going to make fun of them?


Dan Oster

This is why I only wear my Oakley wraparound shades at home.


Ken Rosterman

Michael Jackson Album To Feature New Songs

Epic Records has announced their plan to release a new album from late singer Michael Jackson called Xscape, which will feature eight previously unreleased songs. What do you think?

I'll buy it as long as every song is as good as 'Billie Jean.'


Bryant Miller

If you like music you should check out my band, Thrashing Souls.


Mackenzie Herzer

Okay. Just as long as this isn't some cash grab.


Aaron Merkle

Creationists Stall South Carolina 'State Fossil' Bill

Following the passage of a bill by South Carolina House legislators designating the Columbian Mammoth as the state's official fossil, two senators decided to amend the bill by adding verses from the Book of Genesis declaring God the creator of all animals. What do you think?


Graham Wallace

It's important to get this bill right. I mean, this is the state fossil we're talking about here.


Harry Gondelman

Supreme Court Eliminates Cap On Individual Campaign Donations

The Supreme Court voted to remove the cap on the overall amount of money individual donors can give to political campaigns, arguing that previously held limits of $48,600 donations to candidates and $74,600 to political party committees violated the First Amendment. What do you think?

This is a victory for all of us who can't express ourselves without spending over $50,000 at a time on political campaigns.


Bethany Miller

Well, you can't expect corporations to take on the burden of American democracy all on their own.


Dave Zimmer

That's okay. All I had was $123,200 anyway.


Barry Wasserman

Report: U.S. Built Secret 'Cuban Twitter' To Stir Political Unrest

According to a new report, the U.S. Agency for International Development secretly built a Twitter-like social media platform to undermine the communist government in Cuba, a site that attracted 40,000 Cuban users who had no idea they were giving personal information to a program built by U.S. feds. What do you think?

It's the Cubans' own fault. Who just blindly gives over all their personal information to some social network?


Megan Campelia

Oh please. My tweets have been fomenting Cuban revolution for years.


Crystal Bigford

Cereal Box Characters Lure Children In With Their Eyes

According to new research, the cartoon spokescharacters on cereal boxes are purposefully drawn with their stares angled downward to make eye contact with young children, which researchers say raises the trust level between kids and the cartoons. What do you think?

That's why Cap'n Crunch has those beautiful baby blues.


Graham Milser

If a cartoon isn't man enough to look you straight in the eye then it doesn't deserve your trust.


Chris Campbell

Captain America' Smashes Box-Office Records

Disney's 3D superhero film sequel Captain America: The Winter Soldier smashed box-office records for the month of April with a $96 million opening weekend. What do you think?

This might be just the nudge superhero movies needed at the box office.


Gwyneth Cantor

Of course it did. The winter soldier genre is booming right now.


Damian Ma

Aww, these little franchises grow up so fast.


Gavin Harreman

Study: Morning Light Can Help You Lose Body Fat

According to a new study, people who regularly expose themselves to early morning sunlight by waking up early are more likely to have a lower body mass index. What do you think?

So I just have to wake up at the crack of dawn and start exercising? I'm sorry, but that sounds just a little too easy.


Charlie Lundberg

Yeah, but I only wake up early so I can try to squeeze in a second breakfast before Sell This House! comes on.


Margaret Chapman

Good. I've been looking for another thing that isn't diet and exercise.


Danielle Bennett

Scottish Town Builds $8,000 Statue Of Stray Cat

The people of St. Andrews, Scotland raised $8,000 to build a bronze statue of a 14-year-old stray cat named McHamish, who has recently gained a cult following resulting in a children's book and popular Facebook and Twitter pages. What do you think?

Hopefully this will light a fire under my cat's ass and get her to finally do something with her life.


Robert Harrison

Where I come from you have to die first and then we talk statues.


Barry Van Der Marck

Great, now my cat's going to want to have a name.


Matt Polan

Bill Clinton, George W. Bush Watch NCAA Final Together

Former U.S. presidents Bill Clinton and George W. Bush sat together in a luxury box at last night's NCAA Division I championship game, with Laura Bush telling reporters that the two have become buddies in recent years and avoid talking politics with each other. What do you think?


Scott LaMarche

I'd love to get a beer somewhere far away from both of them.


Margaux Bischof

It's nice to know that as long as we don't talk about anything important, we can all get along.


Kevin Gallant

Spider Invasion Leads To Mazda Recall

Japanese automaker Mazda announced this week that it's recalling 52,000 cars that may have been invaded by the yellow sac spider, a species that's attracted to gasoline and weaves webs inside gas tanks. What do you think?

It's a small trade-off for being able to drive a Mazda.


Megan Liuzzo

Spider Invasion Leads To Mazda Recall

That's why I'll always take a good, honest American car filled with good, honest American spiders.


Jeremy Friar

Spider Invasion Leads To Mazda Recall

It's nice to have company on long drives.


James Franz

Archie Comics To Kill Off Archie

Archie Comics publisher Jon Goldwater has announced that in the final two issues of Life With Archie, to be released in July, titular character Archie Andrews will be killed off while sacrificing his life to save a friend. What do you think?

Another pathetic example of publishers just giving the readers what they want.


Alexa Lissing

Archie Comics To Kill Off Archie

It's about time. They gotta be on their seventh or eighth Jughead by now, right?


Benjamin Jacobs

Archie Comics To Kill Off Archie

This could be the cautionary tale our 59-year-olds need.


Macklin Berringer

CDC: Teens Losing Virginity Prior To Sex Ed

According to a new report by the CDC, more than 80 percent of teenagers don't receive formal sex education by the time they have sex for the first time, leading many young teens to engage in risky birth control methods. What do you think?

That's why I tell every teen I come across that when a man ejaculates in a woman's vagina it can make a baby.


Cambry Adams

How do they even know anything about sex without a middle-aged teacher explaining it to them first?


Kent Gillan

Canadian Dentist Plans To Clone John Lennon

Canadian dentist Michael Zuk told reporters that he paid $33,000 for John Lennon's tooth in an auction and is looking forward to the day when he can clone the late Beatles frontman and raise the child as his own, then sign him up for guitar lessons. What do you think?


Garrett Lafferty

I'm in the market for a Lou Reed incisor if anybody's got one.


Melinda Basso

Since when does someone who buys a tooth at an auction need a reason?


Gerald Posner

Scholars: 'Gospel Of Jesus' Wife' Authentic

Two years after the discovery of a papyrus that includes the phrase Jesus said to them, 'my wife,' researchers have announced that the fragment is not a forgery and was likely written in the Middle Ages, though it does not necessarily prove Jesus had a wife. What do you think?

Well, that pretty much answers every last question I had about the Bible. What a relief.


Mara Jaffrey

I reckon it's just another ultra-liberal interpretation of the Bible that the Middle Ages were known for.


Nathan Meechum

I'm not surprised he rarely mentioned his wife. I hardly ever bring up Carol when I'm on the road.


Karen Sackhoff

Report Finds Steady Rise In Stay-At-Home Mothers

According to a new report by the Pew Institute, the number of stay-at-home mothers has risen significantly over the past decade, with more than 29 percent of mothers with children under 18 staying home in 2012. What do you think?

It's probably due to the rise in being able to make tons of money from home at your own pace with nothing but an internet connection.


Miguel Ryan

But the workplace is so welcoming to mothers!


James Sandoval

Is that why I'm seeing so many pies cooling on windowsills these days?


Frank Stamper

Americans Opting For Small Dogs Over Babies

According to an analysis of data from the Department of Health, the decreasing number of Americans having babies corresponds to an increase in the number of small dogs they own, with young women birthing 400,000 fewer children at the same time that small dog ownership has doubled. What do you think?

I prefer having both so they can compete for my affection.


Cory Parker

Why would anyone trade parenthood for the inexpensive ease of raising an unconditionally loving dog?


Kristen Brosnahan

Well, dogs just have so many advantages over kids, like the fact that they don't talk and I'm not capable of having children.


Mary Caldwell

Beef Prices Highest In 27 Years

The average price of American beef has skyrocketed due to drought and increased demand from abroad, which may prompt restaurants to limit beef offerings or downsize portions of food. What do you think?

I keep a couple of cows in the backyard just for occasions like this.


Sean Reed

Beef Prices Highest In 27 Years

That's okay; it just means that when I take my wife to the Steak 'n Shake it'll be that much more special.


Lance Barnum

Beef Prices Highest In 27 Years

Nobody tell the cows or they'll start acting like dicks.


Hunter Salvo

Report: Chances Of IRS Tax Audit Lowest Since The 1980s

According to a new report, budget cuts and overextended resources have significantly hampered the Internal Revenue Service's ability to audit tax returns this year, giving Americans the lowest odds of getting audited since the 1980s. What do you think?

I own a major oil corporation, so this changes nothing for me.


Susan Henriksen

Man, this 'deterioration of America' thing is really working out in my favor!


Bradford Smith

I would tell the IRS that if they want to save money, just don't report everything you take in. That's what I do.


Joe Hayes

Marijuana Vending Machine Unveiled In Colorado

A company called American Green has unveiled an automated, climate-controlled pot vending machine called the ZaZZZ, which dispenses medical marijuana only and uses ID fraud technology to verify users' ages. What do you think?

Nothing legitimizes medicine like selling it from a vending machine.


Adam Cantor

This sounds like something a stoned person came up with and a sober friend implemented.


Kristen Cuddeback

Can I still have an awkward conversation with the machine while I'm waiting for it to give me my drugs?


Bob Crider

KFC Selling Chicken Prom Corsages

Fast food chain KFC has announced that for a limited time during prom season, it will sell corsages made from fried chicken drumsticks on a bed of baby's breath, which will sell for $20 and include a $5 KFC gift card. What do you think?

My daughter's dress would look better with something from Burger King.


Mary Frerichs

KFC Selling Chicken Prom Corsages

Twenty dollars? I'll make my own chicken corsage, thank you.


Philip Marchman

KFC Selling Chicken Prom Corsages

We weren't supposed to eat the flower ones?


Jeff Duncan

Google Glass Users Facing Verbal, Physical Attacks

Amid rising tensions in San Francisco between native residents and wealthy tech entrepreneurs gentrifying the city, more reports have surfaced of anti-tech protesters targeting Google Glass wearers with physical attacks and verbal assaults like Glasshole. What do you think?

I hope the attackers were careful to punch around the eyewear.


Susan Ripley

People need to lighten up about being recorded every single moment of the day.


Brady Morris

Since Native Americans lived there first, who's the real Glasshole?


Sean Kubler

Snacking May Help Minimize Spousal Conflict

In a new study, researchers found that having a quick snack to raise blood sugar made subjects less hangry, a combination of hungry and angry, which means snacking may help diminish disputes with one's spouse. What do you think?

But most of our fights are about who ate all the snacks.


Alex Berfield

That's why I try to throw Bugles into her mouth when I think she's about to yell at me.


Danielle Tarantini

I think I read this earlier in the Journal Of Snickers Commercials.


James Macaluso

Online Wizarding University Opens For Harry Potter Fans

Die-hard fans of the Harry Potter series have opened Hogwarts Is Here, a free online university open to all aspiring witches and wizards where students enroll in nine-week courses based on classes Harry takes in the books. What do you think?

You still can't beat a degree from a brick-and-mortar fantasy university.


Jenny Huston

Come on, everyone knows all those online universities are scams.


Ken Dreiband-Burman

I didn't get in, but it was still neat to have a small owl deliver my rejection letter.


Dan Cappelli

Mrs. Doubtfire' Sequel In The Works

The Hollywood Reporter announced that after a decade of delays and script rewrites, film studio Fox 2000 is making a sequel to Mrs. Doubtfire, the 1993 hit movie starring Robin Williams about a dad who cross-dresses as an elderly Scottish nanny. What do you think?

It's so hard getting any movie made, much less one that no one wants to see.


Carol Lerner

Mrs. Doubtfire' Sequel In The Works

I could never accept the premise that someone would divorce Robin Williams.


Matthew Heuer

Mrs. Doubtfire' Sequel In The Works

But I still haven't stopped laughing from the first one!


Dean Grobnik

Chelsea Clinton Expecting First Child

Chelsea Clinton announced on Thursday that she's expecting her first child with husband Marc Mezvinsky later this fall. What do you think?

That's great. It's been a while since we've had a new Clinton to judge on physical appearance alone.


Darla Perkins

Chelsea Clinton Expecting First Child


Chris Lewis

Chelsea Clinton Expecting First Child

Whoa, hold on a second. When did Bill and Hillary have a kid?


Ron Steele

Study: Casual Marijuana Use Can Still Cause Brain Abnormalities

Debunking the belief that casual pot smoking isn't harmful, a recent study in The Journal of Neuroscience found that even smokers who light up once or twice a week have been shown to develop brain abnormalities. What do you think?

My guess is that a lot of people are still going to smoke pot.


Paul Mandia

It's true. Smoking pot can cause you to ask all kinds of paranoid questions like why the sample size of this study was so small and whether its results have been corroborated by further research.


Linda Hanable

Eh. My brain was nothing special before.


Cynthia Postlethwaite

Government Approves Sale Of Powdered Alcohol

The U.S. Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau has approved a new product nicknamed Palcohol, a powdered alcohol that can be added to water to create mixed drinks or ingested by eating or snorting. What do you think?

The alcohol in bottles still works pretty well, too.


Donald Ripley

Can they also make a powdered cheesesteak that I can inhale at 3 a.m.?


Matthew Flanner

Sorry, but I just don't see people snorting things for fun.


Felicity McPherson

NASA Asks For Selfies To Celebrate Earth Day

As part of today's Earth Day celebrations, NASA has asked people across the world to take a selfie in nature and post it on social media under the hashtag #globalselfie, which will then be used to create a mosaic of earth. What do you think?

I've always wanted NASA to know what I look like!


William Greer

I hope NASA has a plan to filter out the uggos.


James Wiley

Polar Vortex' To Be Replaced By 'Pollen Vortex'

Allergists are warning that because this winter's harsh polar vortex has delayed spring temperatures, many plants will release pollen simultaneously when warm weather finally breaks, creating a pollen vortex that could severely affect those with allergies. What do you think?

I wish we'd get a good vortex for a change.


Chris Mazzei

I'm sure allergy sufferers will bear this hardship with their usual stoicism.


Peggy Piotroski

Oh boy, I hope I don't accidentally say 'polar vortex' when I really mean 'pollen vortex.'


Sheryl Richardson-Whitfield

Nintendo Game Boy Turns 25

This week marks the 25th anniversary of the release of the Nintendo Game Boy in Japan. What do you think?

Let's just call it what it really was: a Tetris delivery system.


Steve Voelter

Nintendo Game Boy Turns 25

That was the golden age of gaming for me because two buttons is all I can cognitively handle.


Louis Forbes

Nintendo Game Boy Turns 25

I'm sure gamers are holding memorial services at landfills across the country.


Jake Gorman

Goonies' Sequel In The Works

Reports are surfacing that a sequel is in store for The Goonies, the 1985 film about a group of kids hunting for treasure to save their homes from foreclosure, a possibility that has delighted fans who hope to see the film return with original cast remembers like Josh Brolin and Corey Feldman. What do you think?

But they found the treasure and saved the Goon Docks. I saw them do it.


Amanda Rushen

Goonies' Sequel In The Works

I can't wait to see what new cast of unknown young characters the sequel awkwardly shifts focus to.


Chris Watson-Johnson

Goonies' Sequel In The Works

I could see Corey Feldman getting on board with this as long as the script is just right.


Kelly Connors

FDA Bans E-Cigarettes For Minors

With the growth of the $2 billion e-cigarette industry that currently has little to no federal oversight, the FDA has voted to impose new regulations, which include limiting the sale of e-cigarettes to minors. What do you think?

If they don't want kids to smoke e-cigarettes, maybe they should stop having teen heartthrob Stephen Dorff endorsing them.


Richard Blackstone

FDA Bans E-Cigarettes For Minors

This is just another case of Big Government exercising its legitimate Constitutional power to regulate the sale of products as set out in the Commerce Clause.


Cameron Egan

FDA Bans E-Cigarettes For Minors

But who else is going to be stupid enough to buy them?


Arnie McCray

U.S. Middle Class No Longer Richest In World

An analysis by the New York Times revealed that the United States no longer has the richest middle class in the world and is now second behind Canada. What do you think?

Oh, sure, if you're going to compare us to first-world countries, we're definitely not going to come out looking so good.


Ivy Holloway

I had a feeling that Canada was doing better than us after it installed that new set of kitchen cabinets we simply can't afford right now.


David Apergis

Ronald McDonald Gets Millennial Makeover

McDonald's officials announced this week that they are redesigning longtime mascot Ronald McDonald with a new outfit and will begin mentioning him on Twitter using the hashtag #ronaldmcdonald, though he does not yet have an account of his own. What do you think?

It's always good to keep your clown mascot modern and relevant.


Larry Maillet

If he doesn't have a Twitter account then who have I been tweeting at this whole time?


Jean Swinson

Mattel Announces Barbie Movie

Toymaker Mattel announced that it has teamed up with Sony Studios to produce a live-action Barbie movie, a comedy that will reportedly follow the character as she takes on many of the dozens of roles the doll has adopted over the years. What do you think?

Why would Hollywood be interested in a rail-thin blond they can easily manipulate?


Marc Halpersin

Mattel Announces Barbie Movie


Steve Simms

Mattel Announces Barbie Movie

I doubt the film will be able to capture the excitement and fun of putting clothes on dolls.


Kristen Hahn

Florida School To Stop Giving Kids Mountain Dew Before Tests

Amid concerns that the practice doesn't comply with state law, Creel Elementary School in Florida has ceased giving students small cups of Mountain Dew before the Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test, which were intended as a motivational treat. What do you think?

Glad to hear someone fixed the flaw in standardized testing.


Nolan Anfanger

Good. The Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test is X-treme enough as it is.


Adrian Hines

That's bullshit. Mountain Dew is supposed to be given afterwards as a reward for doing well.


Hoyt Peltzer

George Clooney Engaged

People magazine is reporting that after a string of high-profile relationships, 52-year-old actor George Clooney has popped the question to his girlfriend of less than a year, British-Lebanese human rights lawyer Amal Alamuddin. What do you think?

Men always start settling for beautiful, intelligent women after they turn 50.


Susan Luke

George Clooney Engaged

He usually tells me everything, so I doubt this is true.


John Rialto

George Clooney Engaged


Phoebe Deagle

E.T.' Video Game Cartridges Unearthed In New Mexico Landfill

A documentary film crew digging in a New Mexico landfill discovered hundreds of discarded cartridges of the 1983 Atari game E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial, which the company allegedly dumped in an unknown location when the game proved a commercial failure. What do you think?

This discovery will no doubt bring closure to some very strange and lonely people.


John Burgess

I have to remember that as long as you unearth a huge supply of old video games, no one will ask why you were digging in a dump.


Cassidy Wilcox

Teens Getting High Off Lip Balm In New 'Beezin' Trend

At least one local news station is reporting that teenagers are engaging in a new trend called beezin, which apparently involves applying Burt's Bees lip balm to the eyelids to experience a tingling sensation from the peppermint oil. What do you think?

I think it's time we all sat our children down and told them that smoking weed is great and normal.


Dick Galligan

If they can find something fun to do with lip balm, then more power to them.


Donald Cates

They wouldn't have to resort to lip balm if Visine made an eye drop with some balls.


Calvin Jacobson

Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher Return For New 'Star Wars' Film

After concealing the cast from fans, director J.J. Abrams finally announced this week that Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher will be returning for the new Star Wars film in their roles as Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia. What do you think?

Harrison Ford will always be Tommy Lillard from The Frisco Kid to me.


Marcia Ellsbury

Judging by the returning cast, it's safe to assume the movie takes place 30 long, harrowing years after Jedi.


Jack Hargrove

It's nice to know I'm not the only one who should've outgrown these characters 30 years ago.


Arnie Futterman

Fox Announces 'Grease' Live TV Musical For 2015

Fox has announced that the network is planning to air a live version of the hit 1978 musical Grease in 2015. What do you think?

But TV was the one place I was safe from the magic of live theater.


Belinda Elson

This makes me nostalgic for the '70s, back when everyone was nostalgic for the '50s.


Harry Peltzer

I hope they don't make the same mistake the movie did by adding all the singing.


Facebook Announces "Anonymous Log-In"" For Apps"

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced this week that in an effort to grant users more privacy, the social network plans to offer an "anonymous log-in"" option for apps

which allows users to try out third-party apps without giving over access to personal information in their Facebook accounts. What do you think?"

I don't feel comfortable with other apps invading the privacy I already surrendered to Facebook.


Will there be a way to send my personal information directly to the app's advertisers? I don't want to miss out on a personalized experience.


I love how Mark Zuckerberg is always thinking about us.


Ken McCain

Study: Lab Mice Stressed Out By Male Scientists

A new study has found that laboratory mice and rats experience more stress in the presence of male researchers than they do with female researchers. What do you think?

What about male scientists who have soft, tiny, feminine hands?


John Katt

Next time I'm around a mouse or a rat I'm going out of my way to put it at ease.


Jackie McKrell

These mice need some healthy perspective. Would they prefer being fed alive to boa constrictors? Would they?


Deborah Claspell

Report: 'SkyMall' Magazine May End Print Edition

Reports have surfaced that after losing $3.2 million last year, SkyMall magazine, the in-flight airline catalogue that sells electronics, home decor and novelty items, may stop printing catalogues and go web-only. What do you think?

Call me old-fashioned, but I still like to shop in person at a local store for all my obscene crap.


Ross Hammersmith

Alright, how many 'Summer Savannah' Backyard Garden Lion Pedestals do I have to order to turn this thing around?


Jordan Boggs

That's okay. I still have dozens of back issues I haven't gotten through.


Mark Winslow

60 Teens Arrested In Senior Class Prank

More than 60 students from Teaneck High School in New Jersey were arrested this week after they taped hot dogs to lockers and urinated all over the floors as part of a senior class prank. What do you think?


Gwen Holt

60 Teens Arrested In Senior Class Prank

Nice! Way to stick it to the janitorial staff.


Peter Sheehan

60 Teens Arrested In Senior Class Prank

By failing to uphold the values of Teaneck High School, the only people those teens were really pranking were themselves.


Daniel Barry

Astronaut To Deliver UConn Commencement Address From Space

The University of Connecticut has announced that alumnus Rick Mastracchio, who is currently orbiting the globe aboard the International Space Station, will deliver this year's commencement address from space. What do you think?

Instead of giving a speech, I would be cool with this astronaut guy just swallowing floating drops of liquid.


Michael Framingham

Clearly, a UConn education is out of this world!


Katherine Phipps

The students should really pay attention. He's probably going to give a lot of good advice about going to outer space.