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Row ID article_id headline description name quote occupation picture_url page_url date picture_category
11 1819558794 Is There Life on Mars? NASA scientists recently discovered a Martian rock that may contain the remains of ancient life, raising the distinct possibility that we are not alone in the universe. What do you think? Patti Phelps Any educated person should know a meteor in Antarctica is no proof of Martian life. It can only be the passed gallstone of Guntuska, mighty All-Father of the Skies. Comptroller https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--cJGl1vkA--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/di8zr7edqkuqac4uf2hr.jpg https://www.theonion.com/is-there-life-on-mars-1819558794 1996-08-21 0
12 1819558794 Is There Life on Mars? NASA scientists recently discovered a Martian rock that may contain the remains of ancient life, raising the distinct possibility that we are not alone in the universe. What do you think? Tim Backman This is another sign that the end is nigh. That's as good a reason as any to pork my cousin. Systems Analyst https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--XLNnQBJY--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/zirdp5kp5svdajppgk7o.jpg https://www.theonion.com/is-there-life-on-mars-1819558794 1996-08-21 1
13 1819558793 Military Academies Under Fire With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think? James Raneiri At schools like the Citadel, boys are turned into identityless drones devoid of any emotions save hate and slavish obedience. I'd say that's an opportunity no young girl would be able to resist. Security Guard https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--bq-7jowX--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/cqicwozsj40do9iamaxd.jpg https://www.theonion.com/military-academies-under-fire-1819558793 1996-08-28 26
14 1819558793 Military Academies Under Fire With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think? Stacy Posner If these all-male schools are anything like Chippendales' sizzling all-male revue, I want in. Oh, those buns! Neurosurgeon https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--lVEhf-r8--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/vp7anutaywiqbbbkad1c.jpg https://www.theonion.com/military-academies-under-fire-1819558793 1996-08-28 18
15 1819558793 Military Academies Under Fire With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think? Jesse DuMond I attend an all-male school, and I agree wholeheartedly that women should be allowed to attend. I'm sick of fucking my sock. Loan Officer https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--8TN2VS1v--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/kedcvl3g6j3pzpejkuwm.jpg https://www.theonion.com/military-academies-under-fire-1819558793 1996-08-28 28
16 1819558793 Military Academies Under Fire With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think? Oliver Ralston As the first black to attend the University of Mississippi, I applaud these women's efforts. I also recommend playing dead when being beaten by an angry, bat-wielding mob. Electrician https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--JQDCnwRR--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/qqp49mbqhsj0xgjes6si.jpg https://www.theonion.com/military-academies-under-fire-1819558793 1996-08-28 7
17 1819558793 Military Academies Under Fire With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think? Kenny Long With all those pretty girls around, how are cadets supposed to pay attention to the three Rs of military education: Readin', Ritin' and Rectal Rape? Archaeologist https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--XLNnQBJY--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/zirdp5kp5svdajppgk7o.jpg https://www.theonion.com/military-academies-under-fire-1819558793 1996-08-28 1
18 1819558793 Military Academies Under Fire With the Citadel and the Virginia Military Institute opening their doors to women in recent months, only three all-male military colleges now remain in the U.S. What do you think? Kathryn Heller What if they held a military academy and nobody came? Think about it. Taste Tester https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--cJGl1vkA--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/di8zr7edqkuqac4uf2hr.jpg https://www.theonion.com/military-academies-under-fire-1819558793 1996-08-28 0
19 1819558792 A Heroin Experience With studies indicating that its use is greatly on the rise, heroin has been the focus of much attention lately, featured prominently in the film Trainspotting and on the cover of Time magazine. What do you think of this so-called "drug of the '90s""?" Gregg Hillard Heroin's a beautiful thing, man. It's like the first four seasons of Full House all at once. Systems Analyst https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--bq-7jowX--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/cqicwozsj40do9iamaxd.jpg https://www.theonion.com/a-heroin-experience-1819558792 1996-09-04 26
20 1819558792 A Heroin Experience With studies indicating that its use is greatly on the rise, heroin has been the focus of much attention lately, featured prominently in the film Trainspotting and on the cover of Time magazine. What do you think of this so-called "drug of the '90s""?" Gene Braddock There's nothing like the rush you get when that needle hits your vein, man. Absolutely nothing. I'm so glad I gave up drugs for knitting. Physicist https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--XLNnQBJY--/c_fill,f_auto,fl_progressive,g_center,h_200,q_80,w_200/zirdp5kp5svdajppgk7o.jpg https://www.theonion.com/a-heroin-experience-1819558792 1996-09-04 1